A/N: Short update before the end of the weekend. This is my first ever fanfic and as much ask want to get this fix out, my brain and hands are not coordinating. Thank you for reading and I plan to update with a longer chapter tomorrow...

"Sergio? Where are you buddy?"

I walked through my apartment looking for Sergio. What I came across was Sergio in the kitchen lying on the counter surrounded by tattered and ripped paper towels. I should have been furious, but all I could do was laugh. The little monster sure knew how to welcome me home. I shooed him off the counter and grabbed a trash bag from under the sink. As I cleaned up his mess I though about what I would do for the rest of my day. I wanted to be home so badly and now that I was I had no idea what I wanted to do. What could I do? Watch TV? Read? Listen to music? Sleep? I was pulled from my thoughts as Sergio purred at my feet. He was hungry and I realized, so was I. After fixing Sergio the fanciest of feasts I decided to order in. These jobs, all of my jobs have prevented me from having some normalcy in my life. I could never keep my fridge stocked; I could never buy more than a half-gallon of milk without it going bad between cases. I was surprised Sergio had stuck around as long as he has.

I'd settled on the couch, dinner long discarded on the coffee table my feet currently resided. The TV droned on as Sergio curled up on my side. The sun was setting and in that moment, I felt peace. My mind was so tired I was no longer thinking. I could barely process the knock on my door. I checked my phone and I had no messages, I wasn't expecting anyone. I dragged my tired body over to the door and peered through the peephole. I got a glimpse of blonde and knew immediately whom it was. I panicked for a bit, what was she doing here? My apartment was a mess; I reeked of Chinese food and hadn't even showered or changed out of my work clothes.

"Emily, open the door. I know you're in there. It's cold out here!"

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled the door open, a smile never leaving her face as she handed me a bottle of wine and walked past me into the apartment. Why did she have to be so cute!

I closed and locked the door behind me as I walked over to the kitchen to grab two wine glasses. I found JJ standing near the window looking down at the city. Her silhouette making this moment feel a lot more like home.

"Can I take your coat?" I asked offering her a glass. She nodded and stepped out of her coat, handing it to me. I took her coat and passed her the glass, promptly turned to hang her coat near the door, the smell of her perfume hitting me as I moved back towards her. I could not believe she was here. I mean, she often showed up unannounced, but I craved her so much that this visit seemed unreal. She seemed unreal standing in my apartment, looking at me as if she had known me all of her life and would do anything for me. Deep down, I knew that she would, I knew that she would fight for me, but I choose not to believe it. I chose not the think of her as I tried to fall asleep at night. I choose not to think of her as we came face to face with the scum of the earth. I loved her and I had to protect her from me.

I sat on the couch watching JJ as she leaned on the glass observing the city. There must have been something on her mind, as she was so deep in though, it felt as she almost forgot I was here.

JJ snapped out of whatever thoughts she was having and walked over to sit next to me on the couch. We shared a smile and sat together in comfortable silence. We had known each other long enough to realize that there wouldn't need to be many conversations. We just needed to be near each other. We just needed the company to get through the night. We needed to have a shared connection that would allow for a tolerable rest. We often shared nights like this, her at mine and I at hers. That's where Henry and I ruled JJ house. We spent many night running around the house, listening to JJ ask Henry to slow down, or even ask me if I was an adult in the relationship. I didn't care, Henry was so young, so innocent, so free, and I needed that kind of selflessness in my life. I needed to be around someone so pure and he was one of those people. JJ often laughed at our antics, and I only pushed Henry and myself to make more of a mess, as it was the only time JJ was pure. When she was with Henry, nothing else mattered. She completely left work behind and all that mattered was Henry. When he was with Will, she had a hard time and most of those nights/weekends she spent with me. I felt guilty for feeling joy when she came around. How could I? She was away from her child and she was lonely, but I felt joy when she chose to spend her time with me. She looked over to me with a small smirk on her face, she knew something and I was going to have to work hard to get it out of her.

"Tell Me," I asked as she shook her head and looked away.

"I can't, Henry swore me to secrecy" she laughed as she looked away.

I couldn't help but stare, she was so beautiful, so honest and I loved her. I loved her with every inch of me and I couldn't tell her. I couldn't share with her what I wanted to share. I couldn't tell her because she would not love me back. She was still battling her feelings for Will and accepting the end of their marriage, and who was I to step in now and ask her to share some time with me? As much as I loved JJ around, I hated it. I hated that I could not have her. I hated that I could not touch her.