Love All, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None 07/07/2015

Chapter 3

A/N: Hello everyone, thanks for reading, following, and liking my story. I sincerely thought that this wasn't going to be a big deal and that I would post my story and be done, but holy, I've only been able to write 3 chapters and I think this would be at least 10 chapters to completely convey JJ's and Emily's relationship. I've been a reader on this site for many many years (okay more like 5 yrs) but this is my first posting. I have great appreciation for those of you that post your stories, update daily/weekly. I bow down to you! My plan is to update at least weekly. So here's my update for this week. Keep your reviews coming!

We sat together staring out the window at the city below. Her closeness was really all I needed to close my eyes. I'm not sure how long I had been resting my eyes before I felt JJ take the glass out of my hands. How I didn't spill the wine all over my lap was beyond me.

"Emily, let me take you to bed"

"JJ, I'm sorry I fell asleep. I guess I really was tired. Please stay, I really wish you wouldn't drive home so late"

"I wasn't planning on leaving Em"

This response peeked my interest. What had she meant? Perhaps I was over thinking this? She stepped around me and headed towards my bedroom. I still wasn't sure what JJ's intentions were as I proceeded to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I tried to imagine what JJ was doing in my bedroom; I tried to imagine how her skin felt in an intimate situation. I tried to imagine being with JJ and Henry, loving them as if they were my own, and it was difficult. How could I give her what she needed? How could I keep her happy? I loved her very much and I had no idea how she felt.

I finished up my drink and slowly walked to the bedroom where I found JJ already curled up in bed. I wasn't sure if she was asleep, but I tiptoed to the bathroom to change. JJ had spent many nights in my bed, especially after a long case or nights of drinking. I wasn't sure how normal that was, I mean best friends behaved that way right? They shared a bed, sometimes shared clothes, foods, drinks, right? I crawled into bed next to JJ and tried to settle into sleep before she spoke.

"Tell me what's wrong Em"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"I can feel it. You're behaving differently. Was it our last case? Does this have anything to do with your special day tomorrow?

"What do you mean you can feel it? I haven't been behaving differently. I was just having a bad day today."

"Talk to me Em, you've been so withdrawn since we've been back. Our last case was hard and as soon as I got back I wanted to see Henry, I wanted to hold him in my arms. I needed to believe he was safe and everything was okay. It's normal to feel guilt or even sadness for the victims of our cases. I do all the time. Its okay to feel Em, you don't need to hide from me."

I wasn't sure if I hated or loved JJ for knowing me so well. Actually I take that back, hate is a strong wrong; I know deep down I would always love JJ regardless of how perceptive she was. I could never hate her, but I was now struggling with dealing with my emotions. I feared that if I spoke to her about what was bothering me, I would indirectly confirm my feelings for her, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

"JJ please, let's just get some sleep." I pleaded.

"Em, please talk to me. I care about you and want to be able to help you. I love you, I hope you know you can tell me anything"

I almost stumbled out of bed at this admission. JJ just told me that she loved me, but me being who I am, is most likely overthinking her admission and have now backed myself into a corner of fear. A corner I have gown accustomed to, as I frequented this corner whenever someone admitted his or her true feelings to me.

"JJ, I don't know what to say. I care very much about you as well but I have a hard time opening up to people"

"I know, but you can trust me Em."

She held my hand between hers. Okay, wow this is escalating quickly I thought. We had never held hands before. This felt different, and I liked it, but I still feared that I could not handle this.

"JJ, I loose a piece of me every time we come back from a case. I come home broken and kind of lost. I can't imagine what this last case must have been like for you. I don't think I can do this job anymore. I'm too affected by the monsters that we hunt. They break me down and I'm having a hard time building myself back up in between cases. Whenever I feel as if I have made some advances, new cases always push me back. I'm so tired, and I'm so hurt, and I'm so sad. I'm sad for you and what you must have gone through during this case. I love Henry and Jack, and every step throughout this case reminded me of them. Reminded me of the family I don't have, of the family I hope to have some day"

I don't know when I started crying, but I did and JJ was right there pulling me into a warm embrace. Allowing me a moment to relax in her arms, giving me hope that maybe, just maybe, JJ felt for me. Felt for me what I did of her. She was rubbing my back as I cried into her shoulder and somewhere in between touching me and whispering that everything would be okay, I fell asleep.

When I woke the following morning, it was to the sun blinding me in my sleep. I had never been able to sleep through the night without tossing and turning or with the occasional nightmare. But last night, I experienced neither. I felt as if I did not move, but I must have as JJ was no longer in bed next to me. Before I could climb out of bed in search of her, she walked into the room holding out a tray.

"Happy Birthday Em! I made you breakfast and I'm delivering it to you in bed! That's okay right, if not I can take it back to the kitchen and we can sit at the table, I mean I wasn't sure if you ate in bed or even in your room, I mean I don't like bugs either or crumbs in the bed, but today is such a special day I wanted you to know that…"

"JJ, slow down. This is wonderful" I said as I patted the spot next to me.

"Sit with me, I've never had anyone make me breakfast in bed before. That was really sweet of you. This is by far the best birthday ever! I love pancakes, and coffee and eggs and bacon and really all the breakfast foods but I love this the best!"

JJ was smiling at me, gosh that smile, I loved every inch of her and I loved to see her smile. We sat propped up against the head board and had breakfast while chatting about birthday experiences. When our bellies were full and coffee mugs empty, JJ stood to take the tray back into the kitchen.

"I can do that you know"

"Nonsense, today is your birthday Princess. You should be waited on"

"What? In what world? I'm an adult JJ, and I've been very capable of taking care of myself for all 39 of my birthdays"

The look JJ gave me stopped my speech

"Em, let me do this for you. Let me show you how loved you are"

She reached out to touch my shoulder. I didn't know what to say, was this what it was like to have a family that cared for you? That treated you like a princess on your birthday?

"JJ, don't ever call me princess again. I hate when Morgan does it, please don't start as well. I'm 40 yrs old today far from a princess"

She smiled at me, ran her hand from my shoulder down to my hand where she gave it a light squeeze. She turned and left me there standing in the middle of my bedroom.

"You should shower Em, maybe it will help you relax and hopefully you can wash away some of the grumpiness you woke up with"

What the heck, I wasn't grumpy. Surprised by her and breakfast in bed, yes. Independent, yes. Grumpy, no.

"hey! I am not grumpy" I said I walked up behind her in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was not grateful for breakfast in bed. Believe me, this is the best birthday I've had in a long time and for that I thank you. I am going to take your advice and shower, I'm starting to smell" I said as I bumped her hip into the sink.

"Ouch Em! That's going to bruise"

"don't be such a baby, I barely tapped you"

"um with that big butt of your, what you considered a tap was like a shove"

I immediately stopped walking and turned to face JJ. She did not just tell me I had a big butt! JJ of course had the sexiest smirk on her face but no matter how sexy found her, she was not going to win this battle. By the time I opened my mouth to speak, she threw the wet sponge she was holding straight at me. I had no time to react, I was so busy thinking about how cute she was that I didn't realize what was happening until the sponge smacked me in the face.

"No you didn't!"

"oh yes I did" was her response before she ran past me towards the bedroom. I chased her in hopes to retaliate but again was blind sided she I was almost knocked over with a pillow.

"This war!" I said as I threw the sponge in her direction. I of course missed and it landed somewhere behind the bed. I grabbed a pillow off the bed and ran to the corner JJ was hiding in. She hit me with her pillow and I hit her with mine, we were both laughing and yelling at each other. I had to stop for a bit to catch my breath and clear my sight as my eyes were filling with tears at how much we were laughing. Of course JJ took this as an opportunity to beat me up. I dropped my pillow and started attacking her, well tickling her. I reach out and tickled her sides and she could not contain her squeaks and yelps in between gasping for air. I wasn't sure if she was laughing or having a panic attack. I pushed her unto the bed and straddled her, continuing to tickled her.

"say mercy"

"never… I.. will ne..ver.. concede to you!"

"oh no?" I said as I tickled harder

"Em" she begged

"say mercy"

"No!"

"JJ, you can barely breathe. Just say mercy"

"make me"

Hmm I was tickling her so hard she could barely breathe and she was daring me to make her say mercy? How was I supposed to do that? I decided not to think about it and just feel. I leaned in and kissed JJ. I was short and very sweet. Something I didn't think I would've done, nor did JJ by the look on her face.