Chapter 4
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So, I had a second date coming with Jordan. I was wishing the day would go by a lot faster. I really was excited to go on this date. I was not going to get sick on this date this time! Maybe I could win Jordan over! Like he was winning my heart.

I was in such a good mood at work, the rainy weather that day did not bother me at all. Rain storms normally made me uneasy. Nervous. But nothing was wrecking my good mood now.

Soon enough it was time to clock out of work. I rushed out of there. Belinda was not off work yet like I was so I caught the bus home. We normally rode together. I waited outside of the bus stop for my bus.

I was wondering in my head what I should wear for tonight. I mentally thought of what was clean in my closet that would be a good pic for me. Someone stops by in a sleek sports car.

"Ana, right?" someone asks me. I peek over from my umbrella to see Joey Mac there in his rental car. I did his makeup yesterday to.

"Yes, that is me" I say as I nod.

"Need a lift home?" he asks me.

"Well kind of you do not have to I am fine" I promise him.

"We are not strangers. Come hop on in" he coaxes me to get in with him. I did love Joey's music to. It would be a great time to get to know him while I could. Why not? He offered.

"Alright then" I giggle. I get in the seat on the passenger side after I close my umbrella.

"Boy, it is raining cats and dogs out" sighs Joey as the rain comes down harder now.

"I know. I was enjoying the weather yesterday" I tell him.

"I hear you went out on a date with Jordan yesterday?" he asks me. I nod shyly.

"Yes, I had. We had a lot of fun" I tell him.

"Good for him. I am happy for him. He needs to go out on more dates. He had a date the night before you with some gal that works there to oh what is her name...maybe you know her. Her name is Candy" he tells me.

My heart sinks. Jordan went out with someone before me? Why not? He was single. But he had made me feel so special. Like something more could happen between us.

Maybe going out on this second date was not a good idea after all. My heart was much more invested in this deal then Jordan was. Not only that it was not like we were going steady. But still it stung a little.

"Candy? I kind of know her from Belinda. I am still getting to know everyone. Yesterday was my first day on the job" I explain to Joey.

"Oh, that is right! Sorry" he chuckles.

He begins to drive on the highway to head to my home after I give him my address. My heart is feeling down hearted. It was never going to work with Jordan anyway. He was going back home in a few days.

I might as well call this date off now. So, that my heart would not get trampled on. I dig out my phone from my purse. I text Jordan. "Hey I am feeling ill still sorry it does not look like I can make it after all"

I click send feeling sadness wash over me.

"Something wrong? You are awful quiet over there?" Joey wonders.

"Me? No nothing is wrong. I am tired is all" I lie.

"Jordan could not stop talking about your date last night. He was rather taken with you. I am glad he found someone he can talk to. He has been keeping to himself a lot these days. Working to hard" Joey mentions to me.

"I am glad. Jordan told me he was divorced. I never have been married. But that has to be hard to move on" I say softly.

"I could not imagine it. I love my wife and my kids so much" Joey tells me.

"I hope one day to marry and have a family. I had not dated in a long time myself. My last steady boyfriend cheated on me. It hurt my heart to much. I had to have time for my heart to heal" I explain to Joey. He was pretty easy going to talk to.

"It does hurt. Some guys and girls do not get what power they hold when someone cares for them. They do not get it until they lose them for good" Joey agrees.

"Yes, that is true" I say.

My phone buzzes in my lap. I glance at it. Jordan messaged me.

"Maybe another night while I am here? I would like to see you again?" I sigh. He could go see Candy. "Sorry I am busy all this week. I just started this new job" I lie as I message him back. "Oh, okay keep in touch" I feel badly for turning him away. I really had a good time with Jordan. But I did not want to be strung along. My heart could not handle another break up.

"Looks like we are here. Thanks for chatting with me. Have fun with Jordan" Joey tells me cheerfully before he lets me out of his car. I nod.

"Thanks for the ride. I am glad to finally meet you properly" I tell him good bye before heading in my home.

I feel very down. I go in my home. At least Belinda was working late. And she would not be grilling me questions about why I was ditching Jordan on the date. I take a shower when I get home.

Pop in a pizza in the oven. Get on my cozy pjs. Dry my hair. Get the oven out of the pizza. Get a tub of my best Ben and Jerry's ice cream out of the freezer. I pig out while watching tv shows. Tears tried to spill over as I thought of what could have been tonight.

Someone knocks on the door. I was not expecting anyone over. I place a bathrobe on covering up before answering the door.

"Be right there" I call out.

I rush to the door. There stands Jordan with a bag of take-out food. Looking adorable and concerned.

"Hey, you do not look sick to me. But I wanted to check in on you. Maybe we can rent some moves. I brought you soup over. I see you made pizza" he mutters as he comes in.

"I just want to be alone!" I mutter. "Now is not a good time" I say trying not to make eye contact with him.

"What changed from last night? We connected. I know it. You felt it. I felt it. I do not want to let that go yet. What happened?" he demands to know.

"Jordan look, we did have a wonderful time last night. I enjoyed our date..."

"Then why are you ditching this?" he asks me.

"Because Jordan, you went out with Candy, before me. Then who knows who else you will go with after me. Then you will be on your way home. Leaving me here with whatever feelings are lingering in me for you to deal with on my own. I can't do that to my heart" I state the facts out. He looks stunned.

"How did you know about Candy?" he questions me.

"Joey gave me a ride home this afternoon. He was happy you are dating more. He told me" I say.

"I see. You make the judgment that I am a man whore, right? Like all boy band singers are womanizers' right? We are all the same huh?" he snaps looking upset.

"I did not say that" I stammer.

"You did not have to. I get what you think of me. I did not know you like I thought I was getting to. You know I may have gone out with Candy but that was before you! I have not asked anyone else out but you since! Not that that matters to you. You are right. This could never work if you can never trust me or any other man" he declares.

Ouch.

That did hurt. It was true though. I did not really trust men that well.

"Jordan..." I say softly.

"Never mind. Enjoy your meal on me, have an nice life Ana, I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for in life" he say sadly.

He walks over to me. Takes me in his arms. He kisses me taking me by surprise. His lips burn kisses along my flesh. My hungry lips return his kisses foolishly.

"Imagine what that could have been sweetheart" he whispers after the kiss was over as we lock eyes with one another. My heart hammers in my chest. He smiles at me sadly before walking out my door.

I close my eyes as tears burn in them.

Good-bye Jordan.
It was better this way.