Déjà vu.

I was once told that if I keep finding myself in similar situations, it's because I haven't learned to overcome them. It's life's way of challenging you to get past it and grow further. I don't know if that's true, I thought for sure that I had overcome this cell I was in. That I had become a stronger wolf and that I would never be here again. I haven't opened my eyes, I refuse to do so. I don't want to look around and see the concrete walls, floor and ceiling. I don't want to open them to find the whipping post on one side of the room and the half an inch thick mattress lying on the floor.

I can already smell the blood and vomit that will soon make a permanent residence in this confined space.

My mind is running a million miles per minute. I'm trying to contact Amber, and she's nowhere in my mind. I can't even see her. Okay rules.

Rule number 1, don't cry out.

Rule number 2, drink as little water as possible. Less silver the better.

Rule number 3, eat as little as possible. Less wolfsbane the better.

Rule number 4, remember Josh.

Don't forget Josh, he's going to find me. He's going to save me. That's probably the most important one.

He told me to fight, I could have and should have gotten out of there. I had to freaking stretch. Opening my eyes, I find the concrete walls, ceiling and floor. However this isn't the cell I'm used to, oh no. Oh Goddess. We aren't in the Crescent Moon dungeon. I can feel the tears prickling in my eyes.

Don't you fucking cry Maya!

Lifting my head up from my chest, I glance around the room again. No windows and it's a cement door, shit. Tugging at my hands behind me, I feel the silver embedded rope burning into my flesh. My legs are tied to the chair as well and I can feel the little wolfsbane in my system so my mind link is useless and as previously mentioned I can't feel Amber.

"Well, it's about time you woke up." Flipping my gaze towards the door, I can't and don't even try to stifle the growl. My father stands tall and proud at the entrance of my cell. "You are in no position to anger me Maya."

"Yes well, you were in no position to kidnap me, father." I spit out.

He chuckles and leans up against the wall, his beady eyes stare down at me. No emotion, it's so cold it's almost frightening. "You are my daughter-

"I AM NOT YOUR ANYTHING! The moment I ran was the moment I left you behind. You don't deserve me, you don't deserve this pack and you sure as hell didn't deserve my mother you no good piece of-"I'm cut off by the punch he gave me. My tongue flicks out to lick the blood away, "piece of shit." I finish, earning another slap. "Some things never change."

"You've caused more problems than you're worth!"

"THEN WHY DO YOU AND ALPHA THOMAS WANT ME SO DAMN BAD!? We had no intention of retaliation after my Luna and pack induction, none at all. All of this could have been avoided, but you just needed someone to beat out of pure pleasure. Both you and Alpha Thomas are just too damn weak to build up your own packs, so you're using me to combine them."

He grips the back of my hair, I can smell the alcohol on his breath. I don't cry out, I don't react when I meet his gaze. He doesn't deserve that satisfaction, "You've gained a lot of spirit daughter. I am going to break you! Your mate isn't going to save you, he has no idea where you are at and it will stay that way."

"So what's your plan?" I muster out, ignoring the hold he has on me. "I marry Alpha Thomas combine the packs and you think Josh won't react? You're an even bigger fool than I remembered."

All he does is smile, "I should cut out your tongue."

"Then how will I say my marriage vows?" So much sarcasm dripping from my words, I'm sure to get a beating for this.

He growls, I should be afraid. I really should just keep my mouth shut but for 6 – now 7 years I have thought of so many things to say to him and I believe him. I know he'll break me, so I am getting it all out now. I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't survive another round of this. I couldn't survive the torture I would have to endure, but here I am.

I'd rather be dead. Aren't I just a positive patty? "Make no mistake Maya, I get you for 2 months. 2 months before I have to hand you over. You won't remember Josh, and if things go my way you won't even remember your name and you will be a broken wolf. Is that in anyway unclear?"

A smile forms against my face, "I endured 6 years of abuse from you Kermit." I spit out his name as if it is poison on my tongue. "You can't break me in 2 months. I won't allow it, I will fight every single day. I will, and I will rip out your throat before this is all said and done. Is that in anyway unclear?"

"We start now." He growls out throwing my chair, and effectively me into the wall. My head hitting the concrete with brute force. "So what do you think Maya? Knife game?"

Groaning as I try to sit up right, I ignore what he's asking. "You know what, let's start off like old times. Hmm? Lashes?"

Josh?

"Lashes it is." The door to my cell opens and a wolf hands him the whip. "Count it out."

"Fuck you. I didn't do that shit then, I'm not doing it now."

The whip hits my front side, shredding whatever clothes they had put me in. "I SAID COUNT!"

"Go to hell."

And again.

And again.

Josh?

Stupid chair won't let me roll over. Don't cry Maya, rule number 1. Don't give him that satisfaction.

Gritting my teeth, I use the pain of the silver ropes to focus on. Not the lashes, not the pain he's giving me. Closing my eyes, I feel a tear fall out. I don't want to be back here, I left.

This has to be a dream.

But with another kiss of the whip, the sting and pain it brings. I know it isn't a dream, this is my reality. The future I'm practically destined to have. Biting my lip with the next hit, I feel blood oozing out of not just my lip where I'm biting but my body. By the 14th lash, I'm falling in and out of consciousness. My skin fighting to stay together.

"That's just the start Maya. You should never have left."

"I wouldn't have lived." Keep my eyes open, don't let him see you struggle. Fluttering my eyelashes again they focus in on my father. Well, try to anyways.

Tilting his head to the side he just laughs. "You'll be lucky to survive this time around."

Don't I know it.

No, I have to be strong if not for me then for Josh.

For Amber and Riley. For my pack, I have to survive. Josh has already lost me once and I can't have him feeling like that again. I'm just sitting in the chair that's lying on the concrete ground and I'm covered in blood from my wounds. My new scars. I can't believe Alpha Thomas agreed to two months. Wait, so does that mean Alpha Thomas got loose? I thought Josh said they had him? "I hope you running away was worth it."

My lips curve into a smile. Was it worth it? I found out what a non-abusive life was like, I found my mate and became Luna of the strongest pack in Northern America. "It was."

Picking up the whip again, I just close my eyes. Josh sits in front of me, a smile coating his face. His big brown eyes that give me safety, that make me feel at home are staring back at me. I'm not crying because of the lashes I'm getting from the leather whip. I'm not crying for the pain, I'm crying for my mate. I can't imagine what he must be going through.

But all thoughts are put aside when the whip hits my skin again.

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It's been a week.

I know because every morning when I wake up, my father uses a silver knife to etch a mark into my arm. Just one on my bicep, 'counting down the days' he says, 'mustn't waste time'. And he doesn't, he has two plates of food in the morning. One has wolfsbane the other doesn't, that's what he says. But I'm 100 percent positive they are both laced with it, he wouldn't take the chance for me to get Amber back. Once I choose he throws it away from me, he wants me to crawl and get it.

I don't. I just keep eye contact with him, for which I'm punished for.

The water is okay, I got some 2 days ago. Hardly any silver flakes.

Father made today's mark longer than the other's in my arm, I think so he can remember too. 'We start off easy', he says. Just placing silver on different parts of my body or just punching the shit out of me. The mystery is pretty exhilarating, which will he choose that day? Once he's finished there, he takes a break to rest his knuckles, or to just take the damn gloves off.

I don't get lunch, hell for all I know the 'morning' I've become accustomed to could be night. Who knows? Either way he comes back later, the knife game is his personal favorite as he sings the tune I've had etched into my memory. Then he whips me for a while, I can't even tell if the tails are laced with silver. Crying myself into unconsciousness, I wake up and he's gone until things become really interesting. I thought lashes would be the worst thing I'd have to endure.

No, I eventually pass out from the pain when it comes to lashes.

Gasoline is a new favorite. A hose forced into my mouth, and he pours gasoline down my throat until he feels I've had enough, that's when he kicks my stomach and I throw up most of it. Unfortunately I'm not given water the rest of the day.

He leaves after that.

But that's when the real pain begins. I'm left with my thoughts, I'm left with the memory of happiness etched into my brain.

My mate.

Josh.

His eyes, the comfort that just his eyes provide is enough to push me to the next day. He's coming for me. I know he's coming for me.

He has to be.

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"12, 13."

13 days.

"Day 14." My eyes flicker towards the door, my father standing there so proud with his silver knife. "What? Nothing to say?"

Averting my gaze to my knees that are tucked into me, I keep my mouth shut. "You're learning." I just keep blinking, Josh's eyes seem further and further away by each passing day. I want them to stay with me, I want those chocolate pools to guide me out of this hell. I notice my arm moving against my will, I see him move the knife across my skin and I see the blood oozing out but I don't feel anything.

Am I becoming numb to the pain?

Impossible because the punch delivered next is pretty noticeable. "You've caused problems Maya." Untucking my knees I rest my back against the cold concrete floor. "You shouldn't have ran, you knew you were betrothed. You fucked everything up, no one was ever good enough for him. No one from my pack." He has his back to me while he's searching through a tray of… I don't know probably torture devices. Your guess is as good as mine. "He had to have his 'little moon'. Selling you off to him was the stupidest mistake I've done."

Aside from this.

Aside from killing my mother.

Aside from abusing me.

"He's been obsessed for as long as I can remember. I don't see what all the fuss is about." He retorts while turning around and staring at my bruised, broken and torn body. Quite literally torn, I can see my skin hanging off of my arms and legs. I can barely move without being in pain. Correction, I can't move without being in pain. "I originally wanted you for four months. That was my minimum."

Don't say anything.

He isn't hurting me right now.

"But again, he had to get his way. 2 months!" He scoffs as if this torture every day for 2 months isn't enough to sate his need. Unfortunately, his needs are insatiable. I wouldn't be surprised if his wolf had gone feral and taken full control, however he wouldn't have hurt my mother if that was the case. We have mates because of our wolves, Amber was furious with me when my tone would be a little rude when talking to Josh.

However, a question plagues my mind.

"Why'd you kill my mother?" His focus flips towards me, I wished he would have snapped his neck. He gives me a questioning gaze, so I ask again. "Why'd you kill my mother?"

He smirks, it sends shivers down my spine. "I was wondering when you'd ask." The evil glint in his orbs doesn't go unnoticed. I think that's the only emotion I've seen now that I think about it.

"She was your mate." I whisper, however it being secluded and us being the only two in here it was heard as plain as day.

"No she wasn't." He replies nonchalantly. My brows furrow immediately, then how am I his daughter? I highly doubt I was one of the one in a million pups. And as if he knew what I was thinking he starts to laugh. "You aren't my daughter. Thank Goddess." Is that why he hates me so much?

But why would he take my mom? Why would she think that he was her mate? "W-why?" Nothing is making sense.

"I lost my mate, I wanted her, I got her." He doesn't deserve a mate, I'm glad he lost his no matter how evil the thought might be it's the truth. He simply shrugs and waits for my reaction.

I imagined myself with Josh, the way I felt when I was with him. The sparks, the love and the way I'd feel like I was on cloud 9. Hell, higher than cloud 9. I couldn't ever imagine hurting my mate. "So you took her away from her mate?" Like you did for me?

"Yes. It was either that or he'd die, I get what I want Maya. I'd have had a perfect life if it weren't for her being pregnant with you." He sneers as if I'm worse than dirt, nothing new. "Even after she went with me I still killed that Alpha and took over his pack, I couldn't have her pining after her lost mate. Trying to get away from me. Not even her pathetic father's pack could stop me."

I grit my teeth together, so my father's dead. The man I'd never met. My mother's dead, the woman I miss every single day. My mate is gone. The man I love with everything inside of me. Well technically I'm gone, he's probably at the pack house. I can't feel his emotions I'm too far away plus no wolf… I wonder if he can feel me or my pain. I hope not, I don't want him to feel this. All of these thoughts and emotions running through me make me utter something I'd regret as soon as it slipped off my tongue. "I'm going to love tearing your throat out."

"And to think I was going to cut down your misery today. Tsk, tsk. You should really learn when to shut the hell up."

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"Wake up bitch."

I was already awake. I haven't been sleeping. I have been begging for sleep, that's the only way I can see those eyes. I don't know where they're from but they make me feel… not here. They're practically calling out to me and I want to go to them. Big, brown eyes that give me a false sense of security.

Yes, false. Because I wake up from my sleep or my daydreams and they're gone. I wake up and I'm back here.

I hate him.

My feet have been shackled to the wall.

I don't know how long it's been.

I could look at my arm, but I don't want to.

I'm not sure who I thought would save me. But I thought someone would at one point and time. "I have a special treat for you today to celebrate your 45th day here."

I've been here 45 days. But where did I come from, if I've only been here 45 days does that mean that somewhere out there this didn't happen to me?

I'm so lonely. The only comfort that I find is from those eyes.

I wish I could see them more. I'm yanked out of my ball of comfort and my thoughts, at one point it would hurt. But I've become a shell, I don't talk anymore, and nothing hurts any more. I'm tied up in an 'X' position. When the door opens, I don't' bother to look up, I let my hair fan around my face and use it as a curtain to shield myself from everything. "Hello little moon."

I don't recognize the voice. When he tilts my head up with his fingers and my chin, I still don't know who this is. Dark brown hair, dark brown eyes. Too dark, not the eyes I've been dreaming about. "What'd he do to you?"

I just blink.

"Get it over with Thomas!" He yelled through the door.

His name is Thomas.

He looks really sad.

"I'm sorry little moon." His teeth elongate while he brushes my hair off my neck.

He bites me.

I don't feel it. I do feel the burn on the other side of my neck. But I don't say anything.

He lifts my chin again, "Do you remember me?"

I don't move, or talk. I just blink. "You don't." He sighs and strokes my cheek.

The door opens up, he walks in and looks at us. "You aren't done yet?"

The man, Thomas shakes his head, not looking away from me. "I can't. I'll wait to complete the mating process later. What the hell have you been doing to her Kermit?"

He chuckles, I drop my head again. I just want to lie down, I want to sleep. "Training her. She's much better. No mouth on her, no more fight. She hasn't spoken in about 2 weeks. In 2 weeks she'll be all yours."

"I'll take her now." Thomas says while messing with my chains, "Give me the key Kermit."

"That wasn't the deal Thomas. 2 months, 60 days. Then she's all yours, I still have 2 weeks." Does that mean I'm getting out? No, I doubt it.

"YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH! I marked her and she needs to come with me."

He shakes his head, "You won't want her for the next week. She'll be in more pain than you will want to deal with because of her other mark. I'll handle her."

A mark. This man, Thomas marked me? Isn't that for a mate only? Wouldn't I have known he was my mate? There was more shouting and tugging at my chains. Something about letting someone named Maya go. Is that me? It sounds familiar, they were talking about me a few moments ago.

Maya.

I'm Maya.

I'm tired. I just close my eyes and picture the big chocolate brown orbs.

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So that was a little sad…

Don't hate me.

Let me know what you think.