Deidara had gone straight to Sasori to tell him the good news about Itachi (right after he'd eaten, of course). Sasori was positively ecstatic; finally, some good would come of the humans staying on Verden! He suggested that the pair of them go straight to Kisame's tent, seeing no need to keep this information from his friend. Sasori himself really didn't need to be there himself, but felt that revealing such emotion news might cause an outburst that might need a translator, either for language or context. It was with these thoughts in mind that the redhead and the Falk entered Kisame's tent.

Sasori expected many reactions from Kisame when Deidara finally told the man about locating Itachi. He was certain the shark would be relieved, excited, overjoyed, and above all eager to leave the camp immediately to find Itachi. What he hadn't expected was for Kisame to panic like a schoolgirl about to face their longtime crush.

"He's here?! Oh crap, what the hell am I going to say to him?!" Kisame groaned and began rapidly pacing his tent, running his fingers through his hair with quick, agitated strokes as Sasori and Deidara looked on from their seat on his cot. "I've thought about what to say, but it never comes out right, and if I say the wrong thing he'll hate me for the rest of eternity! Oh, but if I don't see him soon and he finds out that I didn't immediately look for him, he'll definitely never want to speak to me again, and-"

"Danna, are all humans this upset when they get good news, un?" Deidara asked as the shark continued to babble.

"He's just a bit nervous, Deidara. Too many hypothetical issues."

"Un?"

"He's thinking about everything that could go wrong, and it's making him unhappy," Sasori tried to explain. Feelings were especially difficult to explain to Falks, he'd discovered; being more reserved by nature (when not attempting to tear each other to pieces, of course), they had a smaller vocabulary for emotional responses. Then again, they had more words for plotting and planning than Sasori had hairs on his head, so there was that.

"This is a nightmare!" Kisame declared, gripping his hair so tightly that Sasori was certain at least a few locks were going to be torn free of his scalp.

"Kisame, please be realistic," Sasori asked. It was a bit unnerving to see such a normally calm and composed leader fall to pieces like this. "Honestly, what is the worst thing that Itachi will do to you?"

"Considering that he's an albini, he might rip Kisame's throat out with his teeth, un," Deidara suggested.

Sasori blinked in surprise at Deidara. "That seems a bit…brutal."

Deidara shrugged, looking slightly less awkward when he did it now than he had in previous weeks. Practice makes perfect, and the Falk had certainly been trying his hardest to learn proper human body language. "Albinis don't take abandonment well, un."

"Exactly," Kisame interjected. "If I'm not incredibly careful here, I'll be on the ground bleeding out before I even get a chance to apologize to Itachi."

"How are you going to see him, anyway?" Sasori asked. "Konan said we can't just go into Regi; as soon as someone realizes we're human soldiers we'll be torn to pieces, maybe even publicly executed."

"We? What do you mean 'we'?" Kisame asked. "I'm the only one going up to the surface."

"I'm not letting you go alone," Sasori declared. "Particularly if there's a chance that you'll be murdered."

"Danna, that's suicide!" Deidara protested. "You need to stay down here in the camp where you'll be safe, un!"

"Kisame and I are comrades, Deidara," Sasori countered. "I can't just leave him to fend for himself!" Deidara hissed several things under his breath, but Sasori was not one to be easily swayed. "This isn't something that's up for debate, even if Konan herself tries to stop me!" Deidara hissed and clicked right in Sasori's face and then stormed out of Kisame's tent, probably to go sulk somewhere.

"Great, now I have to go after him-"

"Sasori, wait."

The redhead had been about to step out of Kisame's tent, but turned around at the sound of his commander's order. Kisame was frowning at him, an odd look on his face as he beckoned the solider to come closer. "Sasori, I need you to be honest with me here. You're not in trouble; at least, not yet."

"Kisame, what are you talking about?"

"Sasori, is there anything going on between you and Deidara right now? And I do mean in a romantic way."

"What?! Why would-no, of course not!"

"Then why exactly did Deidara scream, 'I don't understand why I love someone like you' right before he ran out of here?"

What? No really, what? Sasori felt as though the world was spinning around him as a thousand different thoughts and emotions raced through his mind. Deidara hadn't shown any signs of having a romantic interest in the redhead; but maybe he was just showing Falk signs? What would those even be? Why wouldn't he say something to Sasori, in English at least?

"I'm guessing from the look on your face that you really were clueless," Kisame eventually decided. "You might want to sit down too, before you faint."

Sasori's body responded automatically to the command, and he immediately sank down onto the cot behind him. The movement restarted something in his brain, and he finally regained the ability to speak, blurting out, "You can speak Falk?"

"Well enough," Kisame replied. "I started learning a few years ago."

"Why?"

"I have my own reasons. Suffice to say, a good commander should be able to speak the language of the enemies. Please don't tell anyone though; if it comes out now, they'll think I've been spying on them the whole time, and that would put everyone in danger."

Sasori nodded in agreement; he was in no hurry to divulge his commander's secrets. "You're sure that's what Deidara said then? There's no chance that you could be mistranslating?"

Kisame shook his head. "I'm positive. But Sasori, Falks don't develop romantic attachments overnight, especially to humans. Are you sure he hasn't done anything to suggest he likes you as something more than a friend?"

"Now that you mention it," Sasori muttered, thinking, "he's started to be a little more touchy lately. He kept talking about how long my hair was getting and brushing it back from my neck-"

"Ah."

"What?"

Now Kisame was starting to look uncomfortable, looking anywhere but at Sasori as his hand rose up and began rubbing up and down his own neck. "Sasori, have you ever really looked at a Falk's body? I mean, noticed the differences between our and their anatomy?"

"Just the eyes and ears, really. I assumed that there were other things different, but in the sense that they'd have an extra liver or something."

"There are more external differences," Kisame explained, "and one of them is their neck. Look at any of the Falks in this camp, and you'll see two strips of slightly darker skin going doing the sides of their neck. If you touch those strips, you'd find that they're very soft and sensitive."

"All right, but what does that have to do with Deidara touching my neck?"

"Well…" Kisame crossed his arms and looked away, a small blush coloring his cheeks. "Falks, um…shit, why don't they teach this in the academy…"

"Teach what?"

"Falks don't kiss. It's not that they have anything against it; they just developed different ways to show affection. And one of those ways is rubbing the strips on the side of their necks."

"So Deidara's been…Falk kissing me, or something?" Kisame nodded, making Sasori groan and bury his face in his hands. "Dear Kami…"

"You two need to talk this out, stat. Deidara was extremely lucky that no one else in the camp was within hearing range when he blurted that out, or we'd all be screwed."

"Right. I'll just…I'll think of something. I need some time though…" Somewhat dazed by Kisame's revelation, Sasori stumbled out of the tent to find his friend.

Kisame watched the redhead walk away to a safe distance. Then, he ducked out of the back of his tent and took off in the direction of Konan's personal quarters. Time to find a way up to the surface.

-meanwhile-

"Damn it, where the hell did Sasori go?" Hidan grumbled as he shuffled through the camp. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, catching sight of Kakuzu at his side as he did so. "I don't suppose you know? Or would even tell me if you did?"

Kakuzu silently stared at the zealot.

"Tch, should've expected that." Hidan yawned as he walked along and accidentally brushed against a passing Falk, causing the alien to spin around and hiss something at him. "Shit, sorry!"

Either the Falk didn't understand Hidan's apology, or he didn't care in the first place. He took a step closer to the silver-haired man and clicked something loudly. Normally Hidan would have responded to the aggression with a few choice words, maybe even a punch, but he was trying to behave for the sake of his commander. "Look, I didn't mean it. Seriously, I'm sorry." The zealot looked to Kakuzu and began to motion between him and the offended Falk, trying to nonverbally communicate the issue. "Can you do something?"

What happened next permanently changed the course of Hidan's life. The upset Falk hissed loudly and shoved Hidan hard enough to send the man flying. The back of Hidan's skull made contact with the ground, causing stars to dance across his vision. "Fucking OW!"

Hidan heard the sound of splintering wood as his vision began to clear, along with a great thump. He slowly sat up, eyes growing wide as he saw what had transpired to cause the noise.

The Falk who had shoved him was now lying still on the ground. Hidan could only see the body up to his shoulders, however; the rest disappeared into the remains of what had once been a wooden supply box that was now smashed in. Kakuzu was crouched over the downed man, his hand slowly retracting from the other Falk as he stood upright. It suddenly clicked in Hidan's mind that Kakuzu had knocked the other soldier out to protect the zealot. "Holy shit."