A/N: A good portion of this chapter is going to be a little… weird. They will be Maya's memories. Ones that have shaped her into who she is.
Josh's Point of View.
I had no idea what to expect. It was all so sudden I wasn't sure if it would be like a movie, if I would see everything. If I would see just glimpses? Important moments? I could feel her shaking hands on my temple. She was scared of what she would see, she was scared of what I'd see, quite frankly I'm terrified. With all the courage I could muster I rested my hands on top of hers to stop them from trembling. Together we shut our eyes and I was taken into a whole other state.
A smoky milky white haze filled my focus before my gaze catches onto a little blonde girl around the age of 5. Immediately I notice it's Maya from those piercing blue orbs, and she isn't happy. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" She stomps towards a group of 3 girls who are circling, and I'm assuming bullying a little girl with dark brown hair. "You leave her alone or –
"Or you'll what?" The bigger of the 3 warns and sticks out her tongue.
Though this girl was a few inches taller than my mate, it doesn't stop my girl from taking a step forward and glaring daggers. "I. Will. Make. You." At that moment I could see her unknowingly push off her power, sending all 3 of them away without hesitation even without her wolf. "YEAH YOU BETTER RUN!" She 'huffs' and flips her focus to the girl on the ground. 'Don't listen to them. I'm Maya, I'm your new friend and I will protect you. What's your name?" Talk about blunt, always been a little spitfire.
"My name's Riley." As soon as she lifts her head, I see those innocent doe eyes it has been confirmed that she is my Beta's mate.
Another smoky haze and I'm watching Maya wave goodbye to Riley, she's five maybe six when she steps into her home. Following in blindly, I'm surprised the yelling doesn't stop when she slams the door. She was obviously trying to get their attention to make them stop. I watch as her fists clench tightly and she storms off into the kitchen, where I'm assuming her parents are yelling. "YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU ARE MY MATE! YOU BOW DOWN TO ME! YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY!" A resounding smack echoes off the walls of the kitchen and I see Maya trembling. Not from fear, or sadness – even though it's evident she's upset about her mother being hit – no her shaking is from anger. Sprinting towards the scene she latches herself onto his rising arm before he can bring it back down onto Maya's mother.
"DON'T HIT MOMMY!"
"Maya darling, go to your room!" Her mother was pleading but that falls onto deaf ears. Without hesitation, Kermit lifts his hand and sends Maya flying several feet backward and stalks towards her with hatred in his eyes. Before I can even launch myself towards him another mist fills my focus. That was obviously the first time she was abused, I wish I would have been there for her.
The next was a complete blur, several scenes of her being tortured plays through my mind. The knives, the whips, the baseball bats. I can feel myself crying as I'm calling out to her. I can see her grow up but day by day, it's the same thing. Constantly defending her mother and Riley. Trying to keep herself alive and trucking until she's torn down again by her father. She can't be older than 10 in this new scene. "YOU DECIDED TO TAKE HER PUNISHMENT! YOU TOOK YOUR WORTHLESS MOTHER'S PUNISHMENT! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!" Oh Goddess. My mate is curled up on the floor barely breathing. Blood oozing out from every inch of her form. "Let's hope you don't survive this time."
The door to her cell closes and Maya is barely alive. I rush over to her, and try to stroke her head. I try to comfort her, even though it's in the past. Even though I know I can't do anything. "Goddess. Take me." A whimper escapes my parted lips, "Please take me. I don't want to live anymore. I can't."
"No, don't say that baby girl." I can't imagine my life without her. When I hear her first bone snap involuntarily, I realize then that the Goddess gave her Amber. She gave her, her wolf to survive.
Switching to the next scene, I try to wipe my tears away. Boiling water is thrown on her back. My mate bites her lip to the point of it oozing blood before collapsing to the floor with tear filled eyes. Kermit stands above her, smirking as if he should be awarded for what he's done. Before she has even stopped biting her lip he throws the pot on her head and grips her by the hair. "I said have dinner by 6. It is 6:04. You can't do anything right, can you? You are worthless, you stupid girl."
"Kermit. Please." His glare shifts to his wife. Silent tears are falling from her orbs, her sole focus is on her daughter. Ignoring her plea, he drags Maya downstairs and tosses her in a cell. Before the door is even closed, Katie slips inside and clutches her face. I don't miss the silent whimpers my mate releases.
"Shut your mouth or I'll give you something to whine about." Katie immediately covers her mouth and doesn't say a word until the door upstairs slams shut. Sobs rake their bodies, shaking shoulders and flowing tears, I find myself joining them. 10 minutes later of all 3 of us crying together, I'm beginning to come curious as to why I'm still in this memory. Everything else was so quick, I've never stayed in a memory for too long. Hearing a door creak, I immediately stand in front of my mate and her mom. Not that it makes much of a difference, I can't do anything which makes my stomach churn. When I see it's Cory, I'm out of the way and watch as he gets to work, cutting her already torn shirt completely in the back and applying a cream to the second degree burns. Immediately her taut muscles are relaxed.
He works quickly and in silence before pecking her temple and evacuating the area the same way he had originally came. "I'm so sorry sweetheart."
"Mom, why? He's your mate momma, why does he hurt us so much?" My heart clenches painfully. Was this why she didn't want a mate?
"I don't know baby doll. I don't know and I wish I could take this away from you. Take this burden away."
"I don't want a mate if this is how they treat you." Again she's pulling at my heart, I want to console her and say that this is not how a mate should treat another mate. That I'd never hurt her, but again it makes no difference now.
"Don't. Don't say that Maya. Your father, he's not – a mate isn't like this. You see how it is all around our pack. You see how Cory and Topanga are with one another, Maya. Your mate is someone you should continue to live for. He will love and protect you and guide you sweetheart. He will be your world and love you unconditionally and he won't ever, and I mean ever harm you."
Maya then asks the question that's plaguing my mind. "It's very complicated sweetheart. Try to rest." There's a story there. Mental note to dig into that later. "I will love you for you. Not for what you have done…"
This time I'm transported into a garden. Kermit is yelling at what I'm assuming is an Omega. The whip being brought into the air, he's yelling at her to work harder. Before the leather tails are brought upon the Omega's back, Maya is there, her body hovering over the scared and frightened one. When it hits her skin, she makes no sound at all. "You're okay Matilda." My mate whispers in reassurance before turning to face her father.
"Daughter, you'll take her punishment as well?"
No baby please don't do this. When she gives a stiff nod, I notice the awed eyes of the pack as they watch her head towards the whipping post and getting on her knees… willingly. I feel like I could throw up.
Next scene, my mate is on her knees. Screaming at the top of her lungs and trying to get out of Cory's grasp. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO! THAT'S MY MOM!" Tears pour down her face, and in return so do mine. My gaze flickers towards the tree line. A body bag is being zipped up. "MOMMA PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!" At that moment I fall to my knees. Her screams absorb into my ears. At this point, I could recognize my mate's pain filled scream from miles away. She turns around in Cory's arms and punches him in the nose before sprinting off towards the bag. Of course, Topanga is the one to catch her this time. At that moment, Kermit comes out through the tree line as well. Eyes shifting from each pack member till they land on the little girl screaming at him. "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?! DID YOU DO THIS?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT. I WILL KILL YOU!" He storms over to her and despite the protests from well… everyone. He drags her into the house.
Another pain filled scream. Did the pack really do nothing about this?
Next. "Maya. This is your betrothed, Alpha Thomas." The man before me looks vastly different from the one that is now rotting in my cells.
"Hey little moon. I've had my eye on you for a while." Fucking creep. She's eleven years old.
"No." She stubbornly replies before the next scene is one of her being tortured again for her lack of approval on an arranged marriage. I can't bear to watch it. Pinching my eyes closed, my hands cover my ears to try to block out the pain.
The moment the screams stop I open my eyes again. Maya's placing a kiss on Riley's temple and leaving a note behind.
Riley,
I love you more than life itself. But I can't stay here anymore. Words will never describe how much I'm going to miss you but do me a favor and don't come looking for me. Don't tell anyone that you know I've left. I just couldn't leave without telling you anything. I'll see you again someday. That's a promise. You're my peaches and my sister that I've never had. Take care.
Love,
Maya.
P.S. Stand up for yourself. Be the strong she-wolf I know you can be.
By the time I've finished reading the note I can see Maya walking towards the tree line outside. This is the day she left. The day she went rogue.
Next. I'm watching her in her wolf, she stands proud as 3 rogues circle around her. 8 minutes later, and she's the last one standing.
Next. Amber is taking down a bear. That she-wolf would.
Next. Living in a cave. Getting a job. The smile on her face when she finally rents an apartment is overwhelming. I'm sure she's incredibly happy to not sleep on the cave floor anymore.
Next. Maya and Riley are hugging. "I can't believe I found you." Riley whispers in her hair. They are reunited. I find myself tearing up at this part. Of course, her entire past has made me want to cry.
The next scene is her running through the school, me hot on her tail. Oh Goddess, I love and hate this moment so much. I watch as the punches me, I inhale her scent. Intentionally I cover my ears so I don't have to hear what is being said. When I finally gather the courage to open my eyes, Maya's picking her bag up off the floor and with an overwhelming amount of sadness in her orbs she walks away from me. I would give anything to change that moment. To hold her and cherish her. I'm sure she thought I was going to be similar to her father.
Her vulnerable side appearing in the pack houses movie room, where I allowed her freedom to roam my lands. Her punching Katie. Taking her punishment and my own from the Sepiente Wolves. I wasn't expecting the next memory to be of me singing to her when she was in the hospital. That really makes me smile. Our first kiss. Our first 'I love you'. Me marking her. Her marking me and us sealing the mating bond. That was very nice to watch.
Next. The Luna induction. My heart swells with pride yet again. She handled herself so well, like a true Luna.
Next. Rescuing Naomi and fighting off the guards. My mate is such a bad ass. I'm more relaxed in these parts because I know what's going to happen. I'm aware that she comes back to me, safe and sound.
As soon as I begin to relax, my whole world collapses again as I watch her get hit with a wolfsbane dart 3 times. I'm finally about to see what he did to her in there. Truth is, I don't want to see it. I have an idea and that alone is enough for me to handle. Is that incredibly selfish? Probably. And I hate that I'm being selfish but she's coming back to me. Swallowing the pain in my throat, I inhale deeply and prepare for the worst.
But the worst never comes.
The pressure on my temples is released and I'm brought back down to reality. I can feel the leather brushing against my arms, and my mate lying underneath me from the body heat she's exuding. I can smell her strawberry vanilla scent. I can't see anything. I don't want to open my eyes, I'm terrified of what I'll find.
Is she back?
Was that all for nothing?
I just want to hear something besides my clock on the wall ticking away. "Josh?"
"Maya?"
I feel her soft hands clutch my face in a loving embrace before I feel her soft lips on mine once again. Oh good Goddess, I've missed this so much. Immediately returning the loving gesture, my tongue brushes against her mouth to which she immediately lets me in. But pulls away way too fast for my liking, little minx. "Josh open your eyes. Look at me baby. Please."
My orbs snap open and there's my mate. Red rimmed eyes gaze up at me, but my focus is on the love exuding from them. A simple thing that she's unknowingly doing which means more than the world to me. I have missed that look, I've missed her want for me. "I remember." She whispers before pecking my lips again. "I missed you so much."
Pulling her into my chest, I lift her up and let her straddle my waist. I just hug her.
For minutes on end.
I hug her and before I can prevent it from happening I'm sobbing into her shoulder. My fingers clutching onto her shirt – well, my shirt. I'm crying for her past, for everything she's been through not just in her younger years but a few weeks ago. I don't know what happened, and though it's the opposite of what I should want, I'm glad I don't know. I'm also crying because I've missed her more than words can express, I can't imagine loving her more than I do now. But every single damn day, I find myself digging myself deeper. She doesn't say anything but runs her fingers through my hair, I don't need words.
I just need her.
Several minute later my tears come to an abrupt halt as I take in her scent that now has a hint of saltiness from my tears. Gently, my mate leans back and cups my face. "I'm sorry you had to see all of that."
I just shake my head and pull her in for a kiss. "Don't apologize. I didn't enjoy seeing a good portion of that, obviously but I'd do it for you over and over again. I've missed you." Tenderly my thumb brushes against her cheekbone. "God I've missed you baby girl. You were here but, you weren't here. Does that make sense?"
She giggles lightly but agrees, "Physically I was here but emotionally I was vacant. I remember everything. Everything my mind blocked, the time I was captured and the time you've spent healing me. I know what I look like. I remember Smackle's story. Attacking Arabella." I chuckle at that one. "I also remember you and her mentioning Kermit headed this direction."
Growling, I simply nod. My grip on her hip tightens. "You'll be in the safe room."
"Bull shit."
Abruptly our chests collide. My lips placed beside her ear. "This is not up for discussion." My words low and menacing. I'm not fooling around here. "This isn't a game. I've lost you once. I refuse for your father to take you away again."
Before I can continue she interrupts again. "He isn't my father. Kermit told me when I was captured." Leaning away, her eyes bore into mine. How is that even possible? "He took her away from her true alpha mate and killed him. Turns out she was pregnant." Tossing up her hands in the air, she sheepishly smiles at me. "Here I am." I know she's trying to lighten the mood but unfortunately it doesn't work. "At least I know now that the Moon Goddess didn't pair her up with a mate like Kermit. His died and no matter how cruel the thought, I'm incredibly happy he had to suffer."
It isn't cruel.
What I'm going to do to Kermit is absolutely cruel. "Either way I will not risk him taking you away again. You will stay in the safe room."
"Screw you."
"As you wish."
I rise off the couch and take her with me, out of instinct her legs snake around my waist. Her arms tighten around my neck. Before I can even take one step towards the door, it swings open. The handle landing firmly in the wall with a loud 'BANG'. Growling lowly, I glare at Arabella who seems more than amused. "Ah, welcome back Maya."
"Arabella, I'd say it's lovely to see you but I have a hunch that this won't be an easy conversation."
She chuckles and slams the door in my father's face. I can feel his anger in the pack link. "Well you are right about that."
GMWGMWGMWGMWGMW
Don't tell me what you think lol. Kidding… kind of. I hate this chapter. NO matter how many times I retyped this or rephrased it, it didn't turn out the way I intended.
So for that, I'm so sorry.