Deck Divination, gracefulmiracle, WritersLife3, and Yami E, thank you so much for your feedback last chapter! I'm so pleased at the responses . I've had some fun writing these two in close quarters. Too bad these guys don't seem to be enjoying themselves as much... ;P
Seto awoke to the sound of feet lightly padding across the floor down the hall. Seto had always been a light sleeper; it didn't take much to rouse him from slumber. He glanced at the digital clock glaring brightly across the room, however, and his eyebrows knitted with concern. Why had his rival been roused from his room at two am, when they had both retired only an hour ago? The washroom was in the opposite direction from where the footsteps were heading…
Seto listened to the sound of his rival descending the stairs and concluded that he could not be left to his own devices. He pulled himself off of his plush mattress to follow, moving as quietly as he could.
By the time he reached the bottom of the stairs, a light flicked on in the kitchen, and Seto heard the door of the dishwasher open. He peeked around the corner to silently observe the other man. They had both been quite satisfied after the meal they had recently; surely the former pharaoh wasn't here for a second helping.
A silver glint caught the CEO's eye and his attention heightened while he watched the other, crouched in front of the dishwasher with his back to the brunette. He had reached in and retrieved the large knife Seto had accidentally dirtied with his own blood earlier that evening. It had since been washed and now gleamed in the white light of the kitchen. Seto crept across the floor as Atem stood, arm draped over the sink. He heard the man sigh deeply and press the blade to the underside of his wrist. Before he could pull it across his porcelain skin, Seto bent down the small amount he needed to whisper slowly into the shorter man's ear.
"I don't think you really want to do that."
Atem jumped and Seto reached around to wrap his slender fingers around the wrist of the hand gripping the blade. He did so carefully, and gently pried Atem's fingers from the handle of the blade. It fell into the empty marble sink with a clatter that echoed through the still air of the quiet room. Seto retrieved the knife and set it on the countertop of the island behind himself and out of Atem's reach. He closed the door to the dishwasher with one foot and turned Atem to face him, bodies still close. Crimson eyes refused to meet cerulean, however, and Seto was left to glare at an empty, expressionless mask. The men remained this way for nearly a minute before Seto opted to speak.
"So nothing I said earlier sank in, huh?" Atem continued to stare off into the distance to one side, seeming to be intently focused on the floor some feet away. Seto's anger flared, hating the feeling of being ignored. He tried a cold approach, since nice and gentle hadn't worked for him earlier.
"You know," he started again, stepping back a foot, "I might be more inclined to quit trying to stop you if I understood your reason."
"I am not talking to you about it."
"Yes, I'd noticed that," he said sharply.
Atem flashed him an exasperated expression.
"What's the point of being so shut up if you're just going to kill yourself anyway? What do you care what I think of it all? You'll be dead." Seto finished crudely.
Atem stared at the billionaire without speaking, and the taller man stared back, not daring to break eye contact. But, after nearly a minute, Atem finally did as much. Looking down and slightly turning away, he pulled the note he'd kept on him out of the pocket of his pajamas and handed it Seto, still not looking at him.
Seto eyed him as he accepted the note. He unfolded it and his eyes quickly scanned over the words. When he finished, he refolded the paper, but didn't hand it back. Instead, he crossed his slender arms, leaned back against the island behind him and studied Atem.
"So, what I gather from this is that you're bored."
"That's a bit too simplistic of a view for it."
"Says you. But perhaps you need someone outside of the situation to give you a proper analysis."
"You're insane," Atem retorted weakly.
"Look who's talking. You're the one trying to kill yourself. Depression is considered a mental illness, you know."
Atem sighed. "You have the explanation you wanted. Now will you leave me be?"
"This isn't what I asked for. I believe I said I was trying to understand." He shook his head. "I can't say that I do, though."
"Whatever, Kaiba. Think what you will about me. Whether I'm alive or dead, it doesn't matter to me. The fact of the matter is that I don't care anymore. About anything, period. I'm tired. Is that enough for you to understand? I've fulfilled my purpose. That was all my life was destined for. I was never meant to live. Gods forbid I actually find a purpose for my existence and enjoy myself.." He trailed off, losing himself in crushing despair as his mind graced over what little actual "living" he had done in his life.
He had been born into royalty. From the day he was born, his life was planned out. He was constantly told what to do, and who he had to be. His childhood was filled with preparations for becoming pharaoh. When he finally did, his kingship was filled with fighting villains trying to lay waste to his land. When he wiped his own memory clean, every moment that followed was devoted to him working toward defeating the greatest evil the world had known. When the was finished, what had been left for him? He admitted to himself - and to his friends, through his actions - that he had been ready for the afterlife. Yet, here he was, alive again, and he didn't want to be. His friends had given him a new chance at life, and he didn't even know what to do with it, let alone how to want it.
He contemplated trying to explain this to Seto, but brushed it off. Confiding in the man would do nothing, when all he wanted anyway was to be gone. He didn't need to feel wanted, nor understood. He knew his friends wanted him alive; he knew this for certain. But how could he honestly be expected to live only for the sake of others? And as for understanding - ha! There would be no other in all existence who could possibly relate to his own story. The more he thought about it, the more useless talking began to feel.
Seto, however, seemed to have a different view on this, and he spoke to break the silence that had settled over them.
"Duel me."
"Kaiba, must we do this again? Why are you so obsessed with this game?"
"As I recall, I am not the only one between us who enjoys the game of duel monsters. Why are you so convinced that one little match is going to be so painful?"
Atem narrowed his eyes at the taller in confusion. "Ar -are you suggesting I play a pointless card game with you, at…" he paused to glance at the nearest clock, "2 am, for the hell of it?"
"Why not?"
"B-Because…" The former pharaoh paused, at a loss.
"Mhm. Tell me, your highness," Seto mocked, "What other extravagant plans did you have this evening?"
"Well, I-"
"Aside from ending yourself, that is." He interrupted. "As long as I'm already up, I'm not willing that that be an option."
"Right." He rolled his eyes at the taller man, but let a slight smirk for on his lips. "The mess."
"I'll tell you what. If you can defeat me in this duel, I'll agree to let you leave, and I'll stay out of your business. I'll even have my driver take you back to Domino, if that's what you want."
"Kaiba, I've always defeated you." He said teasingly. "So what's the point of a wager?"
That annoyed the CEO. "Not always. You may have been the King of Games, but that doesn't mean you have no weaknesses." He taunted. "The point is to make it worthwhile for you to play."
"Fine." Atem gave in to the brunet's request yet again. "And if you win?"
"If I win, then we play again."
"What kind of deal is that, Kaiba? Do you want to lose?"
"Not quite. I wish to play. I enjoy the game. You're a compelling opponent. Furthermore, as I said earlier, I know you enjoy it as well." With nothing more he intended to say, Seto stepped away to dig out his briefcase of duel monsters cards, returning briskly.
"Here." He said as he set the metal case on the kitchen countertop. "There's quite a substantial variety of cards here. You should have no problem building a deck with them. Mine is already prepared, but feel free to take your time." He pulled his own deck out of a pocket within the briefcase and set it up on the island where the two men had eaten dinner earlier in the night.
"So, tell me why you retired from the game if you still enjoy it so much?" Atem asked from his seat in the armchair he had taken when the men had moved the living room.
They had played three games - Seto having won the first game, and Atem taking victory in the second and third. The former pharaoh blamed his first loss on not having access to his usual cards, but Seto had silently suspected that the emotional stress he was under knocked him off his game. The man hadn't had his usual positive drive pushing him toward victory.
"I didn't officially retire. Work has grown to be quite the burden on my time, so I stopped participating in official tournaments. The public started the rumor that I'd quit the game, and it spread like wildfire. I haven't made an official statement about it either way."
"If you ever had the time, do you think you'd throw another tournament?"
"Perhaps. If I threw another tournament, do you think you'd participate?" Atem chewed on the question.
Seto was pleased at the effect the games seemed to have on the other man. They had, of course, played with their usual intensity and competitiveness - after Atem had taken some time to get into the swing of the game - but between rounds, each had made time for small talk. Seto, while usually closed off himself, had found a few buttons he could push to convince Atem to open up, even if only a little.
"No." Atem finally answered. Seto looked at him quizzically, urging him to elaborate. "It would be too complicated. Yugi is the recognized King of Games."
"That doesn't mean you couldn't play, regardless of titles. You have your own name now. And we both know you have the skills it takes to get to the top on your own ."
They had started talking about duel monsters, of course. But eventually, the bits and pieces of conversation turned to Mokuba, and Atem's friends. It had circled around to touch on Seto's work, and the CEO found a strategic way to pry at Atem's interests, outside of dueling.
He had initially listed off a few other games he was fond of playing with Yugi, but hadn't come up with much else.
After an already late night and three games of duel monsters, the sun had begun to peek through the window over the kitchen sink, illuminating a breathtaking view of the mountains outside. It was Seto who suggested migrating to the living room to wind down after their heated matches.
"Who ever said I was even interested in being at the top?" Atem had asked.
Now it was Seto's turn to stop and think, but Atem didn't give him much of a chance.
"Yugi enjoys his fame," the Egyptian continued. "I know it's always a boost to his self-esteem when a fan asks for his autograph. I couldn't take that away from him, nor am I interested in having it for myself."
"What are you interested in, then?"
"You already asked me that."
"Specifically aside from gaming, I mean. 'Saving the world' doesn't count, either."
Seto thought he was going to receive another half thought-out answer, but Atem seemed to take a minute to really think before speaking.
"Paleontology." He finally answered.
Huh. …Fitting, I suppose, Seto thought, though he would not have suspected it himself.
"And how did you have time to figure that out, between fighting evil and winning tournaments?"
"Yugi's grandfather used to dabble with paleontology during his explorations, and despite his age, he still manages an excavation every now and then. He traveled to Egypt recently, with Yugi and a few of our friends."
"And you went with them, I gather?"
"Not quite. They returned to Domino with me in tow. It was in Egypt during that excavation that Yugi was able to uncover a ritual our friends then performed to bring me back to this world. We stuck around for a few weeks, digging. …I found that I enjoyed it far more than I thought I would."
"So, what happened since making it back to Japan that's made life so unbearable? …If you don't mind my asking," he added as an afterthought.
"Kaiba. You said you would leave me be if I defeated you in a duel, which I have. Twice, now."
"No, actually. I didn't. If I recall correctly, my exact words were 'If you can defeat me in this duel…', referring to the first match. And you didn't. We didn't make any wagers after that." Seto reminded his opponent with a triumphant grin. Atem was put out, but he couldn't protest; what Seto had just said wasn't wrong, even if it had been deceptive.
"Anyway, I believe I asked you a question." Atem let out a low growl of frustration at the man's sly trick.
"Nothing happened. A whole lot of nothing, in fact. There's no getting around the fact, Kaiba, no matter how you try to twist it. I have no reason left to exist. I should have lived out my life to my expected years and then died, just like everyone else on this planet. But by fate, I've been cursed to draw out my existence far longer than anyone's should be…" Seto's loud, exhausted sigh stopped the former king.
"Alright, enough of this. I've been working, literally, all night to help you find something to hold on to, and apparently I have absolutely nothing to show for it." He stood suddenly and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, shoulders slightly hunched with fatigue. "I didn't sign up for this, and frankly, I'm out of energy for it. Goodnight - day… whatever." With that, he stalked out of the room, grabbing his deck from the kitchen counter on the way up to his bedroom. He didn't stop when he thought he heard Atem call his name.
When Seto reached his room, he pulled his cell phone out of the drawer in his bedside table where it had been sitting.
I may be out of energy, he thought to himself as he dialed, but I'm not out of ideas just yet. He pressed the phone to his ear. Four long rings later and a sleepy voice came on the other end.
"Hello? Motou residence. Who's speaking?"
"Yugi? This is Kaiba."
"Kaiba? It's al…" Yugi paused to yawn, then excused himself. "It's alright. It's early."
"I know. Sorry about that," Seto replied insincerely. It had dawned on him before he dialed how early it still was, but didn't concern himself with it.
"Is everything ok?"
"Not exactly. Have you spoken to Atem recently?"
Yugi seemed to snap to attention at the mention of his friend's name. "Um… no, not recently. Actually, I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, and I'm worried about him. You wouldn't happen to know where he is?"
"I do. He's with me. He's… well, he's alive." He resisted adding a cold 'for now'.
"What does that mean? Kaiba, is he hurt?"
"Not to my knowledge. But there's certainly something off about him."
"Uh, can you be a little more specific, please?"
Seto paused as he heard footsteps at the end of the hallway, and listened for the door to the room he let Atem use to open and close. When he heard the click, he finally answered, his volume lower than before.
"Your friend won't stop talking about suicide, Yugi." Silence. "I've had to stop him twice already, since yesterday." This time Seto heard a faint mumble from the other end. "Pardon?" He asked, unable to make out what was said.
"Sorry. I… I noticed he was being… quiet lately. More than usual, for him. But whenever I asked, he wouldn't tell me anything." He paused, before more quiet mumbles. "I wish we still had the puzzle to give us our mind-link…" Seto had heard him this time, though he still wasn't sure he understood. He brushed it off.
"Listen, Yugi. He'll be ok with me until I make it back to Domino, but after that, helping him is your problem. I'll bring him over to your place as soon as I get back to town Sunday night. Will that work out for you?"
"Um, yeah. I think that should work fine." Yugi confirmed, after a quick pause. "You're not in Domino now?"
"I was in my limo heading out of the city for a weekend vacation when I spotted him trying to throw himself off the docks by the harbor." He thought he could practically hear Yugi cringe at the thought. "I managed to grab him just in time, and decided it might be best just to have him tag along. I'm about three hours from the city right now. I thought he could stay here until I come back on Sunday, since I might still have a shot at talking some sense into him. But if you had a better idea…?"
"Mm, not really. I'm not sure what I could really say to talk him out of it right now, so having an extra few days to think it over might be for the best. …Kaiba?" Yugi asked after a pause. "Did he tell you why?"
"He seems pretty convinced that he has nothing left to live for, or something like that. We actually had a decent talk earlier this evening, but barely an hour after going to our rooms for the night, I found him in the kitchen with my chef's knife. Maybe I'll fare better today, but I can't be positive about anything in this situation." He paused, mulling something over. "Yugi, would you say Atem's generally a light sleeper?"
Yugi was clearly thrown off by the question. "N-no, not really. I'm typically awake before he is, and he doesn't usually stir from any of the noise I'll make moving around in the mornings."
"That's good."
"Why do you ask?"
"I ask because I was hoping to go about the house and lock up whatever I can find that he might be able to use as a weapon against himself."
"That's a good idea. Thank you, Kaiba. And thank you so much for taking care of him. I really appreciate it." He sighed heavily, his voice shaking slightly when he spoke next. "Everyone's been so happy to see him again. I don't understand what went so wrong."
"Yugi…" Seto stopped to contemplate his next move. "It took a little persuasion, but I managed to get Atem to show me the suicide note he'd written to you and the rest of your friends. I never did give it back to him. Why don't you give me an email address I can reach you at and I'll send a scan of it to you. Somehow I doubt Atem will appreciate that, but one can't exactly put comfort over safety in these dealings."
"You don't have to try and convince me of that. Atem is the closest friend I've ever had. I hate the thought of him leaving everyone again, and I especially hate to know he's feeling so miserable."
"I understand. I'll do what I can to talk some sense into him, but I can't make any promises. I don't know him quite as well as you do."
"Well, if you think it would help for me to talk to him, or if you need to bring him home any sooner, Grandpa and I will be home all weekend."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Is there any other way I can help?"
"Possibly. I don't anticipate anything, but if the need were to arise, you would make yourself available?"
"Of course. I'd do whatever it takes to help a friend."
Yeah, I know. He rolled his eyes. I've heard all your speeches. "There's not much else I can think of. But if something comes up, I'll let you know."
"Please do. And don't worry about the time of day - or night - either."
"I understand. I'll keep you updated."
The two exchanged goodbyes and ended the call. Seto hung up his phone with a little more resolve.