Here's the next chapter! It's short, I know. But at least it's up. I cried a lot during this one.
I'm crying as I hold Carole. She's sobbing. It was a beautiful song. Finn's smiling at Blaine. I know that I'm going to have to let him go sometime. Just not now.
It's my turn. I leave my purse, which holds Finn's last note, and go up there. There are hurt smiles everywhere, giving my pity. I take a deep breath.
Hello. I'm Rachel Berry.
There's chuckles in the crowd. Finn's still smiling.
Finn Hudson was... amazing. He was kind and caring. He was sweet and funny. He was, or still is, a legend at McKinley There will be no other like him. But most importantly he was my first love. He showed m-me that someone does love me for who I am. I remember the first time we kissed, he was gentle yet so unsure of what to do. That's when I knew that I loved him. Even when we broke up during high school, I knew we'd get back together. I never thought that this boy could have such an impact on my life. He brought out the best in me and I'm grateful to have his love in return. That's all he wanted: For me to love him again. And I denied him that chance. I just hope that this... wasn't my fault. He had a note but I haven't read it. I don't know why.
I pause for a moment to realize that his smile faded. Why? Is it because I haven't read it? Before anything else happens I continue.
Like Noah said, he never liked to see people he cared about sad. He always tried to make us happy. Or if he knew the reason one of us was sad because of him, he'd apologize to no end. Even after you'd accepted his apology, he'd keep on apologizing. And for me to have betrayed him, kills me every single day. I don't know why I did that but... I loved him and still do, but I don't believe for one second he truly forgave me. I know he tried to move past this but I couldn't. This sweet, caring, funny boy wanted to be with me but I betrayed him. I don't think I can live with myself. But I have to go on because that's what he would have wanted. I should at least do this one thing. He wanted to see me get the role of Fanny and now I've got it. He'd want me to be better than Barbara, but we all know that can't happen. So I'll try to be the second best... For him.
He has a faint smile, but he looks disappointed. It kills me. I sat back down and Kurt held me as I cried. It was time to bury Finn. Everybody's crying, well, except for Santana and Noah. He was walking along with us towards his... I want him back. I want to tell him I'm sorry. I want to tell him I love him. I just want to hold him one more time. But it's not going to happen. The priest is saying something I don't hear because Carole and I are crying. They lower his body and everybody bows their head. There are silent sobs everywhere.
After everything, Burt invites everyone back to his house. As I thought, everyone came to me, hugged me and told me they were sorry. Nobody hugged Carole or told her they were sorry. So I sit by her and hug her. "I'm sorry, Carole. This... should not have happened. No mother should ever lose her child."
She stops crying and looks at me. "Thank you." We hug and cry the whole night. No one bothers us. They understand we need time to grieve after seeing after seeing Finn being lowered to the... They all say good-bye. It's getting late and I need to sleep. I have to catch a flight back to New York and so does Kurt and Santana. They need to get more clothes. We plan to stay another few weeks because Mr. Shue is planning to dedicate a week, in Glee, to Finn. I need to go back because I need to rehearse some stuff for Funny Girl. Mr. Campion texted me a few hours ago.
Rachel, some other directors want to see you play Fanny. You need to come to the theater Wednesday at five o' clock.
I didn't tell him I was here. I need to go. Finn would have wanted me to.
So there it is! The conclusion to the funeral. I feel sad. I don't know. I'll see if I can post another chapter tomorrow but don't expect anything! I hope you guys love it!