A/N: Soooo I sorta of slacked off again today I was good yesterday I clowned oh boy did I and by sweetiedee review she lost it in the break room and a few of y'all lost it I had y'all in stitches and me as well. I know y'all be wondering where do I come up with this stuff and I just think it up and I just type it. I'm not wrapped tight also I want to say that I love it when y'all participate in my craziness I really don't think this has ever been done before where a writer includes the reviewers in the story. I hit up a few of y'all to tell that we'd be face claiming PawPaw actually monni2215 [her birthday is this month y'all she turning 26 again] hit me up with that idea so I've decided that PawPaw will be because we had 3 options and…

Happy Reading (:

J3's POV

"Is that Monica, we were supposed to go out on a date. Why is she here with PawPaw? I thought he left to go back home?"

"There is always one person in the family that is the last to find out, dad and mom flight got delayed and grandpa decided to hook up with Monica, his "wifey"."

"Wife?! Huh? Grandpa, hi Monica, what's up with this?"

"This is my baby, what J3 you wanted her, sorry to say you snooze you lose, this is all mine. Ain't that right baby."

I scrunched up my face. "Ugh…grandpa! I was gonna hit that!"

"Not anymore I hit this." He smacked her ass.

"Ugh…I don't need to see this I'm calling Aunt Bernice so I can get you a ticket home nah I'm going to go tell Mercedes and Sam but before I do that I'm taking a photo to send home to your sons. Uhgh!" I snapped a photo sent it to my dad.

TJ's POV

"My PawPaw is kissing your mommy. Eww!" I shook my head. "Why? That's Monica she was my future boo. I thought Benny was Mr. Steal Your Girl it's PawPaw."

"Hi TJ." I looked Ms. Monica up and down. "Hey you like being with my PawPaw he too old for you he could be your daddy and my daddy too wait that didn't come out right."

"TJ!"

"It's true though Aunt Stacey but if you like being with older men than it's cool but I'm not calling her my Aunt Jasmine I'm just saying."

"Good because TJ you my book."

"What the hell is going on? PawPaw, who is this?"

"This is my girl, my wife Monica, Monica these are all of my granddaughter friends yeah. Well we're going to go get settled in our room, Jazzy you want to stay here or come with us."

"I'm going to stay here and play nicely with TJ, Logan, Ian and, Gabriella."

"Okay you better."

"I will mommy."

"And TJ you'll always be my little boo."

I smiled hard. "Okay Ms. Monica just take care of my PawPaw if not I'll get his ex-boo on you, right Aunt Tana." Aunt Tana struck a match smiling. "As you see she means business."

"I get it, Tana I won't hurt PawPaw unless he hurts me first."

"Ugh….okay that's just nasty. I'm still telling Cedes and Sam just. Wait my phone is ringing. Hello, who is that? That could be your new mommy dad…"

"So, what were y'all doing before we showed up."

"Conniehey and I were just jumping waves."

"Who is Conniehey?"

"My dog. CONNIEHEY! CONNIEHEY!"

Arf Arf [Look, he's my doggie number hit me up my owner is calling me. With your fine ass] Arf Arf [Coming TJ I was just macking who is she? Why does Gabby have that look on her face?]

"This is my best friend along with Uncle Stevie." Gabby cleared her throat. "And my boo Gabby."

"Thank you TJ I love you."

"Love you too Gabby." Ian and Logan elbowed me. "Oh Jasmine I don't think that you met them at my party because they weren't in the bouncy house but this is Ian and Logan."

"Hi Jasmine I just got one question, Ian or Logan."

"I want TJ."

"But he has a girl." Gabby snapped her fingers. "Gabby."

"Got that right boo-boo." She clapped her hands twice.

"But y'all cousins though ain't that nasty."

"We not blood related."

"Did I ask you Gabriella?" She snapped her fingers. "I can snap them just like you boo-boo come on TJ play with me."

"Um…Gabby come on. We go together."

Jasmine scoffed. "Whatever let's go jump waves."

"Yeah, TJ you can have her. I don't want her she's too much and she's only 5 she bossy, she already beat down Gabby I'm not having her beat me down too. I rather date me."

"COME ON! WHAT Y'ALL BACK THERE TALKING ABOUT!"

Mercedes POV

Another spelling bee in the books I done lost count anyway it was epic. "Sam let me see your back I scratched you good."

"Yeah because I was hitting all the right spots I mean they said around these weeks that sex isn't something that you'd want but I love this."

"I know but it's going to come a time when I don't want to do that.

AJE's POV

Good I'm down here mopping and shit y'all good until I pop out next year stay off the ride mommy, don't go pass go, keep the $200 now that's done maybe I can relax. When we eating? I'm starvin' like Marvin. I didn't go grocery shopping yet.

Con'd Mercedes POV

"When are we eating? I'm starving and I know AJE is hungry."

"That's a good question, want me to call up everyone and see what our next move is."

"Okay." I picked up my phone. "What in the hell is this?! Why is PawPaw lip locked with the news lady Monica?"

"What! Let me see that?" I handed him my phone. "Woah! This is um…wow!"

A loud knock came at the door. "Mercedes, Sam, it's J3 open up! Now!" Sam opened the door. "Did y'all get my text?"

"Yeah, okay respond to the text."

"Wait what?! J3 you are here I can tell you now."

"No, you can respond to the text I want to read your response I'm going back on the beach. Y'all going to join us?"

"Do you want me to respond to that now or in the text?"

"You can answer that question now I'm still going to be waiting on your text."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Sam and I will be out there soon I'll send you your text once you leave."

"Okay."

Sam closed the door shaking his head. "What the hell was that about? Why did he come to our room to ask you did you get the text and wants you to respond to the text when he was standing." Sam stood where J3 was standing not long ago. "Right here did you respond to him?"

"Yes, I did."

"What did the text say?"

I sighed. "Mercedes what do you have to say about this? That's all the text read."

"Seriously, you know what? I would have answered by carrier pigeon J3 lost a lot of cool points for that alone, we should be glad that PawPaw made it down here safely we'll talk to them later. So, what do you have a taste for?"

"AJE wants pizza again."

Sam clutched his stomach downing some more Pepto Bismol. "Um…I'm not really sold on pizza how about we just go out to a restaurant and order something don't want a buffet. Let's get dressed but first we need TJ to get his sandy self-back here."

"I'm sandy and cold mommy and daddy open up." I opened the door. "Hi mommy you heard about PawPaw and Ms. Monica, they're married!"

"What?! No, I thought that ….Stacey."

"They're not married but I know J3 sent you a text he's still waiting on his text message."

"I thought you sent it baby."

"I did he'll get it soon enough I'm not sending it again thanks again Stacey for taking TJ down to the beach."

"It was nothing, are we going out to eat?"

"Sure we're getting ready now I'll send a text for everyone to meet us here in about 45 minutes."

"Okay. TJ shhh.." She put her finger to her mouth leaving. "See you later Sam."

"What was that about?"

Arf [JJ and Stacey are a couple but don't y'all to know but I've already shipped them as Jacey and so have the reviewers. Now if we can only find Stevie a boo.]

"I can't say Aunt Stacey and Uncle JJ gave each of us kids $100 they even gave Jasmine $100 to not spill the information."

"Hand it over." Sam dug in TJ's pockets. "A crisp Benjamin Franklin here you go mommy put this up, now what are they bribing you to not share with us."

"I promised that I wouldn't say and I'm keeping my promise scouts honor can you give me bath daddy this sand is up my in my booty and it feels like sandpaper when I walk my cheeks walk together."

Arf [Me too! I got some sand under my balls.]

Meow [Let it stay there.]

Arf [Why is your ass still here? Where is Brittany?]

"Brittany I see you're here to pick up LT."

"Yes, Gabby wanted him to go on the beach but didn't feel like carrying him, you ready to go Tubbington."

Meow [Yes, the beast is back and he stinks.]

Arf [Motherfucker I'll see you at 3 o'clock.]

"See you guys at dinner, hey there Conniehey want to say goodbye your cousin?"

Arf [Bye Fuzzy Pussy.]

Meow [Connie.]

Arf [My name is Conniehey get it right. Don't let me put my paw size yet unknown but I'll find out up your crack I don't have a problem going deep paw diving.]

"….okay Brittany. Let's get you washed up TJ and Conniehey you'll go next."

TJ's POV

"Where are we going out to eat at? I'm starvin' like Marvin jumping those waves I worked up a mad appetite."

"What you want?"

"Some place that don't have pizza I don't think I could see mommy eat that mess again. I had nightmares about that and I tasted it in my nightmare I thought I had to throw up but it came out the other end and it was runn…"

Daddy put up his hand. "TJ okay that's a little too much information only thing that matters is if you wiped it all because…."

I nodded my head. "I wiped myself until I was raw down there."

"Okay."

"Did you see PawPaw and his girl?"

"Who is she?"

"I think her name is Monica."

"Doesn't she work on the WBJA?"

"Isn't her daughter the one that was fighting over TJ?"

"I heard she kissed him."

"She what?!"

"Yeah and….."

"Your aunts and uncles are all out there word travels quickly when it involves the love life of their nephew and is great-grandfather. Hey!"

"Sam! There go my baby TJ. Conniehey….where is Mercedes?"

"Um, she's getting dressed heads up as you know my wife is pregnant and she's on this loopy roller coaster of emotions and feels so when she comes out here and asks how does she look say she looks." Daddy pulled out a paper. "I wrote down these words amazing, breathtaking, stunning, I'll say sexy and fine, gorgeous, stunning and anything else you can think of. Here she comes."

"Hey guys! Wow you all look amazing. Marley I love that on you, Sugar that outfit is to die for, so how do I look? With AJE on board my clothes are just…"

"You look beautiful Mercedes."

"Breathtaking."

"Stunning."

"Baby you look sexy and fine."

"You look pretty mommy."

"Amazing."

"T-Thank you all them sweet words I don't want to cry but…." Daddy pulled her into hug.

"Cry baby just cry we get why."

"Knock. Knock. Hey, y'all I want to introduce you to my baby girl my sweet thang Monica and my baby girl Jasmine."

"Hey…" Everyone had the same expressions on their face she's after his money if he has any.

"Hi everyone first thing first no I'm not a gold digger, I have my own money PawPaw is my boo he's my man and that's it. Hi Mercedes and Sam."

"Hey girl you look good."

"You look fierce and that outfit! Go ahead Mercedes."

"Well alright don't have me cut my step cause I will."

"No, no, we don't want that to happen don't want you jumping and shaking things all around. Let's go eat y'all, Lord Tubbington and Conniehey behave!"

Arf [Perhaps.]

Meow [Whatever.]

"Play nice Conniehey if you do I'm gonna give you a treat later on. I'll sneak some table food for you."

Arf [Please TJ I love you not chicken Jesus hasn't restored my love for that but some steak fish is fine or just some steak.]

"Okay Conniehey I got you boy." I kissed him. "No worries."

"Mommy can I ride with TJ?"

"Sure Gabby. Aunt Cedes I'm riding with you."

"Okay get up on in there. Mom can you…thank you. Thank you baby."

"Who is that lady with your grandfather Mercedes?"

I bit my lip. "That is my grandfathers…"

"Grandma that's his wife they're married."

"TJ, they aren't married they're just friends."

Conniehey's POV

All the humans are gone out to eat and it's just me and this furry dick he's asleep for now and I pray it stays like that until the two legged folk come back. Let's see what's on the tube.

I smashed my paw remote. Talk show turn, turn, turn, turn. Next on Fox News…Not on my paw. What is on? Hmm….Up next on Me or the Dog…Bingo my show is on! Man it's just the top 10 difficult cases. Still good enough to watch.

"Number 7 on our countdown is Harvey a Doberman who turned out to be quite a handful for his owners who did no research on his breed before buying him…What?! Leave it to them. "Low maintenance companion for their sweet shih Tzu Lady. Hey lady! You so cute with your fine ass! Arf! Harvey developed severe separation anxiety that caused him to urinate all over the house. Harvey my man! Just pee on the carpet! You peeing on the floor, Mercedes Evans won't go for that. On the occasion he was allowed outside he was out of control bullying other dogs. Look at him pulling her! Yo! Harvey! Why is he ridiculous you the one that used to spend half the day at the gym who does that? Tubby ass need to do that. In the end Harvey does not speak English he speak dog. They gave her as how! No shit! I speak dog!

"We're almost halfway through my list of top 10 difficult dogs and it's only gonna get more intense so let's take a look a number 6 Diesel was a beautiful Siberian husky with bright blue eyes but he had an intimidating dark said that his owners didn't see coming…a bully on the verge of becoming a dangerous dog. Look at him biting her! Dude what's your problem. Why you blaming the chick she's your dog! Arf! Arf!

Meow [What the fuck are you watching?]

Arf [A show about restraint on how to deal with my stress. You are my stress Lardo.]

Meow [You my damn stress I've put on the extra weight since you came along.]

Arf [No damn surprise! Just look at you.]

Meow [Don't make me jump over there.]

Arf [I dare your ass to jump over here.]

Lord Tubbington jumped but fell on the floor [It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Lord Tubbington falling off the bed. Haha.] I rolled around on the bed. Arf Arf [I would help you up but nah.]

Meow [Your ass got jokes my chubbiness broke my fall.]

Up next on Animal Planet The Cat From Hell.

Arf [Look Lord Tubbington they talking about you.]

KKKKKKKKHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [Watch it Dingdong.]

Arf [Watch it Dingbat.]

Meow [Oh it's Buster he's the NeNe of our group the RFOC but we don't call him NeNe we call him BeBe.]

Arf [Who cares?! I'm going to get me some water from the toilet have fun watching your friend get tamed. Another stupid pussy cat.]

JJ's POV

I would have to sit right across my grandfather and his new woman this so damn wrong. I mean I got a girl but this is.. "Feed me again Monica. Yeah, let me suck your fingers."

I tossed my cutlery. "I can't."

"So, Monica how old are you?" Sugar asked.

"I'm 39."

"And PawPaw is how old?" Ryder followed up.

"I'm 89 years young and I sling it like a 35 year old."

I snapped my fingers standing up. "WAITER! GET ME A NEW TABLE I CAN'T!" Stacey yanked me down. "What?! You don't hear this mess and we can talk about us in public. Shoot."

"Well 89 goes into 40…"

"As many times I can get it up and she can get on it."

"….I wonder if Ms. Monica tastes like chicken." TJ said.

"J3, you hear this."

He was looking at his phone. "No, I'm still waiting on my damn text from Mercedes. Let me call her again." Look guys we'll pick this up tomorrow a sample of our dinner.

"Don't sleep on PawPaw's monkey, he knows how to lay that pipe I'm gonna be in the family soon."

"Baby you already in the family. Gimme kiss."

"Ugh." I put my napkin over my head. "Call me Blanket."

Sam's POV

Dinner with the whole ND family plus PawPaw and Monica proved to be something rather interesting.

"Okay, dinner was good but did Monica really have to feed your grandfather his food, he's capable of doing that himself." I lifted TJ in my arms.

"I know baby but it was cute."

"Cute? He asked her to do the airplane sound and she did it! Vroooooooom."

"Conniehey and Lord Tubbington! Y'all all in one piece they made it through dinner I was concerned about them. Lord Tubbington let's go it is way past your bedtime and your exercise."

Arf [That walking Furbee exercises his ass could fly and I still wouldn't believe that. Night Tubby.]

Meow [You got a little something in your fur.]

Mercedes pulled something off Conniehey. "Conniehey Jupiter Evans! You didn't, did you?" She walked into the bathroom. "SAM!" Conniehey hid under the table.

"Huh?!"

"Shh….TJ go back to sleep you don't need to deal with this." I laid him down. "Baby, what? Oh my! Conniehey!"

Mmm Mmm Mmm [I was going to clean it up! I was!]

"Look at this all of the toilet paper is shredded to pieces and it's wet! Did you drink out the toilet?" She rubbed under his chin. "You did! Conniehey now you know better."

Mmm Mmm Mmm [I'm sorry mommy Tubbington was yapping my ear off I was trying to deal with my stress.]

"Baby calm down it's what all dogs do he just had a little separation anxiety that's all. Stop crying." Conniehey licked her hand. "See he's sorry for that."

"Conniehey I accept your apology just don't let that happen again."

Arf [Don't leave me alone anymore. I'll think about it.]

AJE's POV

Mommy is a cleanup woman is a woman who gets all shreds Conniehey leaves behind the reason I know so much about her is because she kicked out his daddy. He bit her shoes and weave messed up her wardrobe oooh AJE run. I got it!

con'd Sam's POV

"Baby I'll clean this up and I'll take Conniehey for a walk so he can relieve himself and I'll even change TJ into his PJ's."

"No, I'll change TJ you handle that." She kissed me. "I love you baby."

"I love you back. Conniehey come help you clean this up."

Arf Arf [Why you said you were going to do it your damn self? What I got to do?]

"Really, Conniehey you made this mess you're going to help me clean."

Arf [Dammit.]

Mercedes POV

"TJ, baby boy we have to get your clothes off and into your pajamas." TJ mumbled something. "What baby?"

"Sleepy don't want pajamas Conniehey food pocket piece of fish."

"What?" I dug in his pocket. "TJ, why do you have pieces of fish?"

Arf [Fish, fish give it hear. That's for me.]

"No, Conniehey no table food this is going right into the trash. Saaam." He poked his head out. "I need you to dump this outside so Conniehey won't get his mouth on it. TJ smuggled him some fish back and it's all smeared in his pocket."

"Ugh…TJ."

"Srnnk."

"He's out for the count I got it baby, come on Conniehey let's go for your walk we'll be back in a little while baby."

"Okay." I peeked out window. "No, Sam." I banged on the window. "No table food! Geez TJ and you give it to him. If Conniehey gets sick don't come waking me up. I told him and TJ about that he out there feeding the dog." I opened the door. "SAM THROW IT IN THE TRASH OR I'LL COME OUT THERE! I WILL DO IT! THANK YOU MR. EVANS!"

I turned around TJ was wiping his eye. "Mommy why are you yelling? Where is Conniehey?"

"Daddy took Conniehey for a walk and you have some explaining to do?"

"What?" He pulled his pockets. "Oh…um."

I folded my arms. "I'm waiting."

"I-I promised Conniehey some food and I bought him some you wasn't suppose to know that."

"Well, I did and it's all in your shorts I just got you these are going to have to in a plastic bag away from your other clothes don't want them smelling like fish."

"I'm sorry mommy."

"I know TJ can't be doing this. Conniehey is a dog he eats dog food and your daddy fed him what you bought him." He pumped his fist. "No, yes it's bad for him and he could get sick. You don't want him to get sick do you?"

"No mommy Conniehey is my pal he's my friend he's on the same level as Uncle Stevie."

"So, don't sneak him anymore table food. Got it."

"Yes, mommy. Mommy."

"Yes boo-boo."

"Aunt Unique, he's a she."

I had a feeling this was coming. "Unique name is Wade but she's Unique, she's comfortable as she is and we accept and love all people, you understand that."

"Yes, mommy. I'm going to tell her how I feel tomorrow."

TJ's POV

Day 1

"Let me open the blinds to see who is on the beach this early hey Aunt Unique is out there. Mommy Aunt Unique is on the beach can I go out there and be with her?"

"Sure TJ." She unlocked the door. "Unique! TJ is coming out there with you."

"Okay."

I gave her a hug. "Aunt Unique I love how comfortable you are in your skin as you know a lot of people don't have the courage to do that and you did it in high school I salute you."

"Aww TJ you are too sweet."

"I know mommy tells me that all of the time so, is Ryder your boo?" Hey I got to know these things. "Hey Uncle Ryder over here!"

A/N: Oh the face claim for PawPaw is Sherman Hemsley let me stop PawPaw is….you know I'm going to pack a duffel bag because I got a feeling that monni2215 will be booking a flight here. I'm off to Climax where the hell that is beats me. Actually PawPaw is Billy Dee Williams iamJLS until tomorrow. Off to chapter 103..

90s throwback song: Weak - SWV