CHAPTER TWELVE

Crash and Burn

She didn't.

It was fifteen minutes before midnight and they were in the midst of the hour where vampires and humans began to mingle, where formalities began to fade and alcohol was passing through the human crowd, and blood among the vampires. Even Ruka was amusing a group of human males, although Akatsuki suspected it was only because they were adorning her with every compliment man can possibly come up with and vampires were still hesitant at approaching the noble famed for her beauty and dedication to Kaname.

Kaname disappeared. So did Yuuki. Zero had not shown up at all.

And Hanabusa was sitting at the table, next to Akatsuki who was watching everything unfold. The blond vampire had his head on the table, his fingers strumming and tapping rhythmically while the other hand was around the stem of the glass. Occasionally, he would look up and around with a eager puppy expression, take a sip, and look disappointed before resting his head again.

"Do you remember when you used to be there – competing with Ichijou?" Akatsuki asked, more out of boredom than the desire to converse.

He turned his head to the side and saw the pale blond vampire practically smiling up sparkles and glitter as his hands stayed on a human girl's glove one longer than it really should – not that she, or the crowd of girls around her, minded. There was a distinct, bubble of laughter emitting from that group alone and Hanabusa's mouth twitched. Then he rolled his eyes. "Competing with what?"

"You tell me," Akatsuki said as he tipped his chair back, not needing a hand to hold him a bay. "I've always wondered."

Hanabusa rolled his eyes and looked down at his silver chronograph watch. That was it, he had enough of waiting. His first day without having a group of security guards observing his every single move – and yet there he was, acting as if they still were. He stood up and several people turned around, interested at the first sudden movement from the usually charismatic and charming aristocrat. But their expectations failed them as they watched his long legs cross the ballroom in several strides – and then he was gone, disappearing out the door and into the winter night.

xx-x-xx

He should have known it.

They called him a genius and yet he was a complete idiot – of course Kaede wasn't the type. Sure, she might be late, but three hours late was pushing it. The Sun dorms were completely vacant, but he knew that she was in her room at the far corner like the way he knew the spectral theorem. He decided against throwing rocks at her windows to avoid the cliché – and yet there he was, outside a girl's – a human girl's – window, wondering why she didn't attend the dance that every social group of the school had.

It was curiosity, he told himself; he was, by nature, very curious and just the same, he liked answers. And he was there to get them.

He was never one for much physical activity – his vampire genetics made his body at the highest human standards without any effort on his part – but he scaled up the multilevel walls with ease until he was standing at the ledge of her window.

This is not creepy, this is just observation, he told himself, but even as he was leaning in on her open window, he knew that that wasn't quite true. Her windows were wide open with nothing but curtains covering it which he easily slid aside. But the moment his foot perched upon the window sill and his hands were steadying him on both sides – he stopped.

She was there, sleeping.

He swallowed.

The girl was lying in the most awkward position but she was, without a doubt, deeply asleep from the way she was breathing and her eyes firmly shut. Her legs were elevated and propped over a pile of pillows while a laptop sat on her stomach, a hand thrown over it in a feeble attempt to secure it as the other arm bent underneath her head that was lolled to the side.

Her neck, exposed.

His tongue ran over his lower lip before he bit down on it, staring. A slender neck, practically presenting itself before him. His foot gently and silently landed in her room, and then the other. He walked over to her, slowly, like a predator. And he knew that his eyes were glowing red but the closer he got to her, the more he noticed her scent – like warmth, and wind and dog and when her lips parted, there was the sharp scent of drunken coffee. He spotted a still warm cup on the ledge, but his eyes didn't wander too long before going straight back to her.

Just one bite couldn't hurt, could it?

And then he was right next to her, and he could hear her breathing, feel her heat. He swallowed the anticipation, but could not suppress the nervousness in the pit of his stomach. He was going to get in trouble – more trouble than he did with...her. The other one. He couldn't remember her name, not when he was this close to a living, breathing human whose blood was singing out to him. The sweet, warm scent of blood. He could imagine it already, the way his fangs would break the thin skin on the curve of her neck, the way blood would swell up and pour into his mouth – the way his lips would feel on her skin, securing the flow of the very thing that gave her life, the very thing he lived on.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

She didn't stir.

Every so gently, he brushed back her mess of dark brownish red hair and she made a sound like a sigh but otherwise did not respond. He leaned in closer. The silk of his suit brushed against the cotton of her blankets, and whereas his body was slightly cooler than hers, her vitality was practically radiating off her in heat and he wanted to close in, to feel her against him.

He opened his mouth, her exposed neck in place.

But then he paused, and closed his mouth, pulling away. He had to act quickly – before he regret this, before he regret ruining it for himself.

A harsh, reluctant but purposeful hand shoved into her, her laptop falling off the precarious position and she made a sound. "What...what the hell?" she mumbled, arching her back and yawning as she rubbed her eyes and then she slowly looked to her where a well dressed young man had fallen to a sitting position next to her bed. "Hanabusa?" she murmured. And then it hit her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

But despite her accusatory tone, she didn't shy away from him or huddle her blanket to cover her flimsy tank top pyjama. If anything, she settled in further. She groaned, placing the laptop on the table before rubbing her face and pulled the blanket up to her chin, stirring to the side to look at him as if she was planning to fall back asleep. She yawned again. "This is a whole new level of stalking," she said sleepily, "I hope you know that."

"I — " What could he possibly say to that? Seconds ago, he was this close to crossing the line and drinking her blood and now he was just sitting dejectedly by her bed as if he was a dog. Waiting.

She threw her arm over her face. "Leave."

He stared at her. "What?"

"I was sleeping. I don't know how you got in and I don't feel like entertaining you right now so just..." She didn't continue, she simply flicked her wrist towards the door. He frowned at her but then he remembered how he left her off last time and sighed. His fingers raked his hair back before he slumped closer to the bed, his head tilting and resting on the mattress.

"Sorry, Kaede."

"You're forgiven."

Pause.

"Really?"

"Yes – really. Now leave."

He sighed again. "Come on, I'm serious. I didn't mean what I said last time. I was angry over...you know."

For a moment, she didn't say anything. And then he heard her sigh very theatrically before sitting up. He watched eyes her body move up, her long hair following behind her and she turned so that she was sitting up against the wall, the blankets piled on her crossed legs. Her hands fell onto the mass of duvets before she finally spoke again. "I feel a conversation coming up," she said, her voice still heavy with sleep but at least her eyes were, at last, on him. With the silvery light from the window and his own vision, he could still see the blend of greens and browns in her eyes – almost gold and he found himself just staring at her, at each fleck of colour before he realized that he should say something. But then she beat him to it. "So, you were upset."

"You knew this."

"I do. That's why I don't mind." She smiled a little, amused smile. "Then again, I didn't expect boys to be quite so...emotional."

"I am not," he objected, his eyebrows pulling together but her eyebrows rose in a challenge, as if he just defeated his point – and she was right. He got up in a mess of awkward long legs as he tried not to pull on his clothing and he sat down next to her. The bed creaked in protest, and his palm landed on the still warm sheets – warmed by her, he thought distractedly – and she stared at him suspiciously as well but didn't move away. "The point is, I apologized. For what I said. You can do whatever you want with your life and it would only bring me the utmost pleasure in life to see that you fulfill them – which I'm sure you will."

"I do love sarcasm with my apologies," she mused, sounding a bit more alert. She touched her wrist to find a hair band and he didn't know why it was so interesting to see her arms reach up to twist her bed-head hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head, but it was. It was more than interesting, he couldn't pull his eyes away.

She was a human, he reminded himself, a human. A human. A human.

And yet the way she moved was...captivating in the way of a vampire's. Or rather, the way he watch a woman do so if she was a vampire. A vampire that was a potential interest – not a human that he would have to sever ties with as soon as he graduated from this "school". He blinked. Then, he moved away slightly, giving her space. He was warm, then, really warm and everything smelled of her – her room, her bed, and soon every vampire on campus could smell her on him and would think something happened.

And something could have, and he regretted that it didn't.

But it wasn't too late.

He opened his mouth, but then he didn't know what to say. That he was a vampire? He didn't care too much if she knew, not really. But then again he didn't want to risk her becoming frightened and running away – he didn't think she would blabber though. She also did not look like the type to fantasize about vampires and the generic forbidden love...

Love?

No, he was getting ahead of himself.

"Were you at the Winter Ball?" she suddenly asked, breaking the silence between them. She fingered her hair tiredly. "No, wait, it's obvious that you were. What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" he countered.

She stared at him as if he was stupid in that way of hers that drove him insane. Then she lifted up the blankets very slowly and said just as slow, "Sleeping." She frowned. "And you're the one invading my room in the middle of night! How did you get in – and don't say that the window was open because that it's not an invitation for people to — "

"Well it was." He cut her off. "And I was here to apologize."

The frown remained. "Mission accomplished." A yawn got the better part of her. "Now really, leave. I have to get up bright and early tomorrow."

"You're leaving?"

"It's Winter Break, Hanabusa, what do you think." And the way her eyes half closed as it slid towards him and her tone did not have a single care in the world made him realize the proximity between them once again, of the heat, of the scent. And the way she said his name – his given name, without a touch of annoyance or tiredness or suspicion like his cousins, or the patronization of his parents, or the gush of his sisters...

"Where are you going?" His voice was breathy, and he wondered if she was analyzing the situation over and over like he was. She probably wasn't. It was just a curse of his brain to over think everything and she looked more than at ease.

"To my parents' house." She stretched once again, making a sound and he blatantly stared at the way he could see the subtle curve of her stomach and not so subtle chest through the shirt as her back arched. She didn't notice, she was rubbing her eyes yet again.

"Where -"

"Tokyo. Geez, Hanabusa, really. I'm tired, and you're sort of making it hard to go back to sleep the longer you stay." Her eyes were winced, only one open and staring at him.

"So then don't go back to sleep," he said with a smile playing on his mouth. His legs were hanging off her bed so he kicked off his shoes and pulled his arm out of one sleeve, and then the other before he threw it aside. With just the same carelessness, he unbuttoned the vest underneath and sent it flying and loosened his tie. "Let's talk."

"Are we really going to do this?" she asked, but she was already propping a pillow behind her, getting comfortable. His grin grew.

"It's been a while."

Something about what he said made her stiffen, her mouth press into a thin line. "So it has." Her voice was dry, and he wondered if he offended her some —

"Oh!" There was his intelligence again. "I would have come earlier but I was in trouble because of said family affair." She looked at him, and then sighed.

"It's too early for me to decide if you're lying or not. But as long as you're not here for..." Her words drifted off. The same smile was tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Don't be shy now, Kaede, it isn't like you."

"Others would say differently." She pulled the blanket to her chin, but he saw her arm peek out as she moved to take a pillow and threw it towards him. He accepted it with a usual Idol-worthy wink and it only felt natural for him to hug the pillow. It smelled like her. Everything still did.

"They don't know you then," he shrugged.

"I feel a movie moment coming on," she said, dryly amused.

So did he, but he wasn't sure if it was a romance cliche or a horror movie. "I agree." He looked away from her, to straight ahead. He only had a glimpse of her room before – but now he saw it fully. Standards curtains and bed – yes, but a cream coloured blanket and he wondered if she picked it out herself. There was a poster that was an interesting array of colours but otherwise incomprehensible image – abstract – that took up the majority of her wall. The other had a mirror and a stand that was empty of everything but a brush. He thought of Ruka's, who, despite her natural beauty, was still cluttered with powders and glass jars and brushes like a studio.

It was plain, it was normal.

He continued examining the room. "Neat," he said, "I didn't figure you to be the orderly time."

"I had time." She smiled at him. There was that look again. As if she forgot him completely although she was sitting directly in front of him and he was left staring at her. Did she always look like this – or did her face change this past week? Or maybe it was because he was void of all faces but his dorm's. That must be it. That had to be it.

"My absence was well spent then."

She gave him a look – that look – and rolled her eyes. "My life does not revolve around you, Hanabusa."

"Just go on telling yourself that, Kaede." He paused, and wondered. Hesitantly, his head leaned on her shoulder – but before he even touched her, she shoved him off, laughing. And he was laughing too. He didn't know why, but he was. Her palm pressed against his chest and almost immediately, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulled her arms back away from him. The sound of half sleepy but genuine laughter filled the too-dark room and it was in the middle of her falling towards him that he thought he wanted to kiss her.

Kiss her?

He shouldn't. He couldn't.

And before he felt her on him, he knew that if he kissed her, he was damned. And he had no other choice but to prove that he was not damned and that he was in control.

And then she was against him, and one hand held down her hand to his side while the other cupped her face, shifting her away. "Han-"

But it was too late. He was blinded with determination to prove that everything was normal and nothing was getting too close and his lips were on her neck. In her neck.

It was everything he expected it to be and he felt the recesses of his mouth watering slightly at the sudden warmth on his lips but it was soon washed out completely as his fangs pierced through the soft skin. She thrashed in his arms, but his hands let her go so that he could restrain her there. He turned her over. She was underneath him, her legs trying to kick him but he pinned her down and his knees were on both side of her, one hand pressing down on her shoulder, the other firmly over her mouth. She had no chance.

Then it was as if his early imagination came true when warm, sweet blood gushed into his mouth and he was filled with it. Filled with her. And he wanted to devour her – not the way that it happened with the other girl, the vampire he could not spend another thought on. This was his consciousness. And the more he drank, the hungrier he became until he could not have enough of her. He wanted Kaede — Kaede with her dry smiles, tired yet happy eyes all at once and distracted laughter. Even if he drained her dry, he thought that they could never be closer. He wanted them to be close, to consume her.

But then just as sudden, her body became limp beneath him, his hands lost the grip. He was just there, drinking more and more and yet it was not enough. Never will be enough.

Then he heard a whimper.

And the sound broke him out of it completely. Everything shattered around him and everything dropped thirty degrees. Shivers ran down him and he was cold with shock as he pulled back slowly, cleaning his lip of the blood. But when he looked down, all he saw was the girl, as white as snow– still. Not asleep, but completely still. Faint heartbeat, fainter breathing.

His eyes were wide, his hands shaking.

"Kaede?"

No response.

What have I done?

Guys. Guys. I didn't keep up with the manga but I decided to read the final chapter just because and my heart is broken. SPOILER: WHERE IS THE ENDING FOR MY BBY AIDOU?! COME ON, HINO. So much unresolved feelings. *sighhhhhh*

So this is a longer chapter and I'm glad that there are still people reading this! Views were a bit lower but this story reached a hundred reviews! A hundred thanks to y'all! I hope you enjoyed.

Reviews would be lovely :)