Arabella is already sauntering my direction with a smirk on her face before her gaze flickers to Kermit. I nod, letting her know she can do whatever the hell she wants at this point. I want this to be over and I want him gone. Her smile widens, before grimacing at the now naked male. Gripping his hand she makes sure to flip off her father who is looking a little worse for wear before snapping her fingers and disappearing.

I have a feeling I won't be seeing her for as long as she can possibly allow.

Focusing back on the task at hand, my glacier like orbs narrow in on my mate. His eyes are wide and in complete disbelief. With every step forward, a few wolves bow in submission. Their necks angled out and Amber is becoming even more arrogant. I fight the urge to toss my tail up because right now, all I want to do is tuck tail and submit to Josh.

And that's what I do.

Dropping Kermit's throat at Josh's feet, I lower my snout towards the ground. My tail folds underneath me, and now it is my turn to bow. I'm not the Alpha here, no matter what I accomplished…my mate is. He is the only male I will ever submit to. I'm trusting him with my pack that I've absorbed, and that action alone holds more respect than anyone can say with their words. I can see everyone else following suit, and I can practically feel Jax basking in the ambiance. The rogues sprint towards the trees, making a bee line for the territory lines. As if we'd actually go after them right now. Josh however, gives nothing away. His face remains the way it was before I continued my challenge on Kermit. Wounded and deceived. "He deserved worse." Was all my mate said before taking his focus completely off of me. "TWILIGHT AND ITS ALLIES! Today we claim victory!" Howls and growls of approval should have me feeling all warm and fuzzy. I should feel great because Kermit is gone and he can't hurt me. But Josh's face continues to flash in my mind, so I remain in a submissive position. Even though I know it will take a lot more than this to earn his forgiveness.

If it's even possible at this point. 'Riley, you and Dr. Packwood along with nurses need to make your way to the pack house entrance. Inform Josh of your movements.'

I have a feeling he doesn't want to hear from me right now. "If you are wounded, please make your way towards the pack house. If you are a wounded past member of Thomas or Kermit, you will also be seen with a warrior escort. Once you are done, you will join the rest of your comrades in the cells for the night until I can speak to you individually. Until I find out where your loyalties lie." Obviously they aren't happy about it, heads drop, some are stifling a growl but honestly, what'd they expect? "I won't have another uprising. Warriors, if you are well split yourself up into groups. One group will help the wounded, the other will lead them to the cells."

"Yes, Alpha." Nodding in affirmation everyone gets to work on his orders. Josh still stands right in front of me. I hear him say a brief 'thanks' and I'm wondering what for until I see the material of basketball shorts as he steps inside them. I didn't even notice that everyone was naked. That's just how often I see everything.

Amber takes over for a fraction of a second, my tongue darting out to his ankle in an effort to clean the blood up. She doesn't understand that he doesn't want that right now. And she's practically broken hearted when he pulls his leg away as if our tongue was on fire. Whimpering, she retreats back into my mind. Chancing a glance at my mate, he just shakes his head. "I told you I wouldn't forgive you." When he turns and walks away, I involuntarily shift. Sobs escaping my parted lips while I'm curled up onto the ground in an effort to cover myself. "Luna." A blanket is draped over me by Kris. "H-He'll come around. You did it for the pack."

I can't even manage to nod. I am actually aching in places I never even knew existed. "Maya." The soft words of my best friend don't even get me to look up. "Come on Maya." She helps me stand and without her, I'd be plummeting back to earth.

"He's r-rejecting m-me."

Riley tries to laugh, fails miserably but she tries. "You're mated and marked Maya. He can't reject you."

"That makes it worse." I whisper and discreetly wipe my tears away. I can feel the burning hatred he has for me. The betrayal, the disgust. I can feel it all. "He turned away from Amber's healing, he won't even l-look at me." She stops in the middle of the hall and pulls me into a hug. I don't know how long I stand there just sobbing into her shoulder. My mind still reeling on previous events, "William." I whisper and pull away to look her in the eyes. "Alpha William. Where is he? How is he?"

When she doesn't say anything, I feel as if someone punched me in the gut. She averts her gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry Maya."

My humorless chuckle turns into another sob, my legs giving out from underneath me. "I fucked up my chance at a family with my mate and lost the only other family I have left." My voice came out all high pitched and squealy at the end. "Go." I whisper and since she knows me so well, she simply pecks my forehead and turns the corner. I can hear her sniffling as she walks away.

'Jax still loves us.' Amber tries to put a positive spin on things.

'We're back to the beginning. His wolf loves us, and Josh doesn't.' At least not right now. I should probably hold out hope, maybe in a few days he'll come around but hope has gotten me nothing in this life time. Only broken dreams and sob stories.

'Mate pulled away from me.'

'I'm sorry he did that Amber. It's my fault.'

'No Maya, I agreed to what we did as well. You are not the only one to blame.' My hands begin to shake. The events of today, coupled with my weakened state are beginning to get the better of me. Inhaling deeply, I crawl my way into the bathroom directly across from me. Locking the door, I stretch out on the plush rug and cover myself up with a blanket that Riley supplied me with.

I don't have the energy to go to bed.

Or, I should really say I don't have the energy to go to bed alone. Because that's what I'll be doing.

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It had been 2 days since I've spoken to Josh.

31 hours and 42 minutes since I last saw him.

We lost a total of 15 wolves, not even close to the amount I had anticipated. 3 were from our pack, 5 from Eric's and 7 from William's. Their funerals were all held yesterday and I managed to pull myself out of bed to attend them and give condolences to their mates. I couldn't help but wonder if it would hurt any less if Josh were dead.

Obviously I know the answer, it would be worse losing him. But, not being able to see me is a lot better than having the capability of seeing me and not acting on it because you don't want to. Josh has been performing the latter. When I woke up the morning after the battle, I was in the guest room. I had hoped it was Josh who had moved me but I wasn't sure and I wasn't going to get my hopes up and ask only to be saddened by the answer I would undoubtedly receive. So here I am today, riding in a separate vehicle from my mate on our way to the Power Pack to honor Alpha William. My grandfather.

His mate had passed away only hours after he did. Being an older she-wolf herself, her heart gave way to the pain. My grandmother. It's a rough time for the Power Pack seeing as his son, my uncle would soon be taking over. It's always precarious to switch over Alpha reigns but there's no threat at the moment and as long as I'm Luna we would be their ally whether they asked for help or not. Pulling into the familiar clearing, all the wolves are already awaiting our arrival.

Dressed in black.

That's one thing we do have in common with humans. The Moon Goddess represents everything light in the darkest night, she's the light through the dark times and our dark clothing. I crane my neck to catch a glimpse of my mate, my heart hammering against my chest and tugging all at the same time. Part of me wants to look away because I know seeing him will only make me yearn for him more but I can't look away. It's physically impossible for me. His door opens, and my breath gets caught in my throat. Even now, he's so ruggedly handsome. The sleeves of his black button up are rolled to his elbows and its tucked into his black dress pants that are held up with his belt.

Josh's hair is in its natural bed head state that I always make fun of him for. His eyes aren't as bright as they normally are. Deep circles reside beneath them, and their usual spark has all but disappeared. Lucas has told me he's been interviewing the prisoners one on one, stating their conditions for residing in our pack and what is expected of them. I'm not ashamed that Lucas is a spy of mine, but Josh knows that and won't speak to him about anything. Well, anything regarding me.

Glancing down, I'm wearing a pair of black jeans, my leather jacket and a black tank top underneath. I had briefly considered wearing a dress but the scars littering my body were the only thing that I could focus on. And today isn't about me, it's about William. I was asked to give a speech by I guess my uncle, that doesn't even really like me. And if he does, well I couldn't ever tell. Not by the tone of voice he had given me over the phone. Can't say I blame him, I'd hate me too. When I step out of the car, I can tell Josh catches my scent. His entire frame stiffens, his eyes close and his nostrils flare as if this is the first time he's scenting me. Nibbling at my lip, I do the one thing I'm not supposed to. I hope that he turns around. I just want to see him closer up. But when he doesn't make a move to so much as glance at me and walks away, my heart shatters again. Gulping, I swallow back more tears that I didn't think I had.

Unfortunately, I never run out of those. "He's being terrible." Kris whispers to me, while escorting me towards the rows of chairs.

I just shake my head, "I deserve this."

"No you don't. A few hours maybe. But, not this. I know this is weird but I can feel your pain. I'm just your guardian, what the hell is he thinking putting you through this? I know he can feel it."

There's nothing more than I can say except for, "I deserve this."

Kris growls, and plops down in the seat beside me. "No you don't." His words are more firm than I can even muster right now. "You did what a true Luna would do. And now he's basically rejecting you." Outwardly I wince at his phrasing and for the second time ever he touches me. His hand clamps down over my shoulder in an effort to comfort me. I know it's the guardian in him coming out, he loves his mate more than anything else in this world. But right now, I'll take any sort of comfort I can get.

But it's gone too quick. He drops his hand and faces straight ahead. His body is dangerously stiff. "Sorry Maya. Alpha has asked me to move."

"But, you're – you said you'd sit with me. Because Riley couldn't come, and Lucas had to run the pack you said you w-would sit with me." My chin starts to tremble again as tears pool in my eyes, "please." I all but beg. "I really don't want to be by myself."

Kris glances at me, pain exuding from his eyes before he stiffens again and takes his leave. He links me an I'm sorry and yet again I'm mourning alone. I deserve this. I repeat over and over again, in hopes that I'll actually believe it and quit wallowing in self-pity. 'Maya you don't deserve this. Haven't you been through enough in your life?'

'I hurt Josh. I deserve this.'

'Even Jax thinks he's being too rough on you.'

The funeral begins, I kind of hoped it would drag me out of my thoughts but it doesn't succeed. I catch myself glancing in Josh's direction. Farkle and Zay stand beside him, both giving me sympathetic smiles seeing that I'm all alone. I don't return them, I couldn't even fake smile if I tried. Whenever it was my turn to make a speech, I rise off the chair, my legs shaking slightly. I haven't been eating, it just makes me sick. "Good afternoon, for those of you who don't know me I'm Maya. Alpha William w-was my grandfather. Found out that bit of information a little later than I would have liked. Truth is, I found out 4 months ago that he was my grandpa and I spoke to him a handful of times since then." Sniffling, I glance towards the casket. "I uh – I – he along with his wife were the only family I had left." Sucking in a sharp and shaky breath, I manage to look up from the ground. "And now they're gone and I'm so sorry. Even though I only knew him for a short time, I loved him like I had known him my whole life. His bright personality resembled my mother's and because of that I gravitated towards him easily." Tears fall effortlessly now; I have no idea what I'm saying. I'm rambling at this point but I can't seem to get it to stop. "I know that he and his mate are walking hand in hand with the Moon Goddess right now but I'm selfish and I just want him back. I loved that I could call him family because I didn't ever have any and I – I never got the chance to do that. I didn't have a lot of family and he welcomed me with open arms. He was a great man, a great wolf and a wise Alpha. He will be missed greatly and – "My orbs gravitate to the casket again. Shaking my head, I step towards it, my hands lingering on the cherry wood for a few moments before wiping my nose and letting it fall careleslly to my side. "Cherish the family you have left. I know what it's like to have none." Instead of taking my seat once again, I saunter down the aisle and toss my leather jacket to Kris on my way out.

As soon as I reach the woods, I shift midair. 'Amber take control. I need to get away for a while. Just, stay away from Josh. I can't handle any more rejection, I don't think you can either.'

'I understand Maya. I'll keep control for as long as you allow. Relax. You need it.'

Doing as she says, I close off my mind from everyone and everything. The last thing I hear is a pain filled howl.

My pain filled howl.

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By the time I allowed myself back into reality, I had no idea how long it had been. I had no idea where Amber had taken us or what she had done. I trusted her fully and to my luck she didn't disturb me once. Opening my mind up, I feel the soreness in my legs and paws. 'How long was I out for?'

'4 moons.'

'Shit.'

'Yes. Shit, indeed.' I'm about to ask about Josh but decide against it. But of course Amber knows what I want. 'He's been following us. Keeping his distance but following us.' My heart swells at the thought. Whenever I inhale deeply, I can smell him. My tense muscles relaxing completely, even though it was just a whiff it was more than what I had allowed myself in… too long. 'I've eaten for us. You really shouldn't allow yourself to go that long without food.'

'I'm sorry Amber.'

'You were sick. Not physically but in the mind, I understand. Are you feeling better?'

'I think so. I guess it just depends on how my mate treats me from now on.'

Trotting towards a stream, I lean in and lap up the cool liquid. 'Amber, where are we?'

'1 hour run north from the pack. We're in our unexplored territory. Thomas'.'

So if I were to walk that'd be roughly 4 hours. Sitting on my haunches, I don't make a move. My mind is running 90 miles per hour and I suddenly remember why I shut down for a few days. Sometimes, when the pain is too much to bear, our wolves take over. It's their way of protecting us from ourselves. Amber's done that twice now. Once when I initially ran away and just now. However, this time was more unbearable than the first.

I felt so alone.

Hell, I was alone. The one person who tried to comfort me was Kris, and he was sent away as quickly as he tried. Riley was busy with healing and her mate and her baby. I couldn't ask for her undivided attention. I've been alone so much in my life, I figured I'd be used to it by now. It makes things so much easier when you don't care about things or people. But as Kermit put it, that's my weakness. I care too much. If I wouldn't have cared about wolves losing their lives than I would happily be with Josh right now, at the expense of more deaths.

Or my pack and mate would have been slaughtered while I was forced to watch and then tortured into oblivion. I'd like to think I chose the better option but I can't be mad at Josh. He's already gone through enough pain caused by me, I willingly put myself into a situation where I could have easily died. The chances of me dying were greater since I was not at my best and he knew that. My mate was just tired of hurting. I forgave him for everything he had done the moment he had done it. That doesn't make it hurt any less but it's the truth.

I'm just going to patiently wait for him to forgive me. I'll keep my distance.

I'll keep myself busy and hopefully he'll at least consider forgiving me soon. Even though he said he never would. My heart sinks slightly at the notion. I did it again, I got my hopes up. I'm taking him following me as a sign that he could forgive me for what I had done. I'm reading way too much into it.

'Jax misses us. Jax says mate misses us… a lot.'

I force away my smile, 'I miss mate a lot. Amber, without you –

'I know Maya. I'll always be here for you.'

This time I can't help but snort, 'Like you have a choice. You are literally embedded inside of me.'

Leaning down, I lap up some more water before I begin my trek back home… hopefully it doesn't feel as empty as it did last time. I'm about to take a step away from the stream when I hear someone step out from the trees behind me. "Please don't run."

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Alright, so my heart hurt after writing this chapter.

Do you think Josh is overreacting?

Do you think Maya should forgive him?

Let me know what you think!