A/N: Hello my fabulous readers! It took me a bit longer than normal to get this chapter out, but I wanted to make sure it was just right. I hope it is just right...ugh... I may be moving to promised bi-weekly updates since some of my activities of daily living (like, say, housework...) have taken a back seat. Why engage in monotonous, boring chores when one could be writing and living in a beautiful fantasy world? :D I will still strive for once per week and I am currently working on the next chapter, so we'll see if I can keep up my weekly updates. We'll see...
Thank you to my new follwers!: ladyluck1155, inkymuse1, SoulsLoveWeapon, green-angel-87, Pheonix87, bertabee, SDyer19871, thalia0204, swasdiva, PoisonedJoke.
Thank you, theladypantera, for your ongoing support and fanfic friendship. You are awesome! Hugs! - Check out her story, Wind & Snow, if you have not already!
Thank you, swasdiva, my real life peep, for your encouragement. You need to write your amazing stories too ;)
I really hope this chapter lives up to what I envisioned. I've been looking forward to writing this part for the entire story.
Now, without further ado, here is your...Chapter 10 :)
The Castle of Edo
Chapter 10
Part One...
Back in Sengoku…
The wind whipped his hair behind him wildly, stinging his skin from the speed of his lunging legs. He was hurrying there so he could hurry back. Her image pushed him forward, her face fueling his feet as he flew across the flourishing forest floor. He was almost there.
He scented it before he saw it. The unique scent of the pack, his pack, wafted past, the image of the majestic mountain side appearing shortly after. His lungs burned, sweat coating his forehead from his grueling pace, but he pushed harder. The cliffs came and he leaped lithely, though his legs felt like lead, until he reached the crest.
He was panting and parched. It was rare for him to feel so fatigued, but he stretched his physical limits running relentlessly from the well. It was harder without the jewel shards, his abilities hindered. He hated it. He placed his palms upon his bent knees, head hanging, heavy breaths huffing in and out. He just needed this moment to compose himself…
"Kouga! You're back! Hakakku! He's back!"
No such luck.
Kouga stood abruptly, startled by Ginta's ear-piercing excitement. He sighed loudly from fatigue and frustration. He forced his breath to regulate, refusing to show any weakness, even to his two most trusted comrades. He watched as Hakakku sprinted swiftly to Ginta's side.
"Kouga!/Kouga!" the two Betas shouted excitedly, animatedly greeting their alpha.
Kouga placed his fists on his hips, projecting authority to his two right hand men. "So, have you managed to keep MY tribe together while I've been absent?"
Ginta and Hakakku exchanged a mutually irritated glance. "Everything is fine Kouga," Ginta answered first. "Although it's not exactly easy when your leader tells you he'll be gone for two weeks and he's actually gone for nearly three months…"
Ginta paused, scenting the air. Kouga carried another scent, smelling of summer wildflowers. It smelled awfully familiar…
"No way…" Hakakku mused after sniffing the wafting wind. He sniffed again. His nose did not deceive him. "Is that…is that sister's scent?!"
Ginta stepped toward Kouga and scented him. His eyes widened. "Oh man, it is! She's alive?! Wow, this is awesome!" He sniffed again, grinning mischievously. "You are REALLY covered in her scent, Kouga."
Kouga put his hands up embarrassedly. He responded with quiet austerity. "Keep it down, you two. We have some things we need to discuss…"
"Kouga? Where the hell have you been? We've been here for two weeks!"
Kouga eyes shot to the side. He had not heard that baritone voice in years…
"And who's scent are you covered with?" the deep voice demanded. The older male scented the air. "Another female…" he growled. "Kouga, I did not raise you to…wait a minute…"
Kouga paled as the other wolf demon scented the air again…
"You…you've been with…a HUMAN?!" the voice snarled incredulously.
Kouga's expression morphed, anxiety shifting to anger. His instincts burned to protect her honor. "Her name is Kagome. And yes, Father," Kouga challenged. "I have. What of it?"
Kouga's father emerged from the shadows. His long ebony hair was pulled back into a low braid, his hazel eyes glaring at Kouga indignantly. "What are you thinking? What are you doing with her, anyway?..." Kouga's father sneered. "Are you…practicing?"
Kouga bared his fangs, spreading his legs apart and fisting his hands, instinctively shifting into a battle stance. "How DARE you! No, I've not been 'practicing' ANYTHING with her!"
Kouga's father growled in response. "You're showing a lot of emotion for a weak human girl. Have you forgotten your mating ceremony with Ayame takes place in TWO WEEKS?"
"It was going to. I'm calling it off." Kouga affirmed.
Kouga's father snarled, his body language beginning to mirror his son's. "What do you mean, 'call it off'? You can't do that!"
Kouga smirked. "I can and I will. I am Alpha of this pack. I answer to no one!"
"You HAVE to if you want to keep your tribe together! You do what's best for your pack!" Kouga's father glowered.
"I don't love her!"
"This has nothing to do with love!"
"I will NOT mate her, Father!"
"You were instructed to! You must…"
"I LOVE KAGOME!"
"YOU WHAT?!"
"SATOSHI!" cried a new voice. A feminine voice. A very powerful, authoritative feminine voice. Kouga and his father, Satoshi, were silenced simultaneously. Satoshi remained quiet to appease his mate, for now. Kouga slowly stepped toward the shadows shrouding the cave's interior.
"Is that you, Mother?" Kouga asked, his voice shifting, harshness softened.
A beautiful copper haired wolf demon with brilliant blue eyes emerged from the shadows, a jubilant smile gracing her lips. "Kouga!" she exclaimed, rushing to embrace her son she had so long ago let go. "My son. How I've missed you!"
"I've missed you too, Mother," Kouga responded, accepting her embrace and hugging her hard. He closed his eyes, a genuine smile softening his features as he buried his nose in her hair, breathing in her comforting scent.
His mother pushed him back gently, studying Kouga's eyes, his scent. She frowned, confusion furrowing her brows. "Kouga? Where have you been?" she asked quietly, her astute aqua eyes studying her son's.
Kouga dropped his gaze guiltily. "It's complicated, Mother."
The wind began to pick up, a brisk breeze blowing stray strands of hair from the wolf demons' faces, no one noticing the shift.
Satoshi scoffed. "Ha, complicated? Did you smell him, Kokoa? He reeks of a human girl!"
Kokoa pushed lightly on Kouga's shoulders. Of course she had scented the girl. "Kouga…"
Kouga glanced toward his mother, immediately darting his eyes to the stony silver walls. Did they appear darker than when he had arrived?
Satoshi became impatient. He stomped to Kokoa and Kouga, shoving his son out of his distant daze. Kouga whirled, his hair flying in the whipping wind. "What was that about?!" Kouga snarled.
"You owe us an explanation! We came here for your mating ceremony. I left my Alpha without one of his betas for this occasion. Now," Satoshi demanded, shoving Kouga again, "tell us what the HELL is going on?"
Kouga gritted his teeth in frustration. He didn't need this. There was too much going on. The demonic presence. Kagome…
"Satoshi…" Kokoa pleaded. "Stop, please…"
"No! If he's involved with a human…"
"ENOUGH!" Kouga roared, pounding the darkened stone wall, emotionally charged energy crashing through rock and spewing stone bits and dust into the swirling air. "Father or not, I am alpha of this tribe. I COMMAND that this conversation ends. NOW!"
Satoshi balled his hands at his sides. He looked away, anger flashing in his hazel eyes, masking other intimate emotions that only his mate understood. "Fine, Kouga…" Satoshi seethed through clenched teeth.
Kouga narrowed his eyes. "Fine?" he questioned quietly.
"Nnnnnngh!" Satoshi growled, slapping his palm tightly over his face, shielding his eyes from his audience. He shook his head back and forth repeatedly, frustration fueling his psychomotor agitation.
"Satoshi…" Kokoa cooed. She knew he was struggling…
"Father?" Kouga probed.
"I CAN'T go through this again, Kokoa!" Satoshi snapped. He shoved Kouga as he pushed past, hurriedly passing his concerned mate.
Kouga's eyes followed his father as the older male disappeared into the cave interior. He made a move to follow, but a delicate hand pressed lightly against his chest, stopping him.
"Kouga, give him time."
Kouga looked at his worried mother. His eyes softened and he nodded.
"Kouga?/Kouga?" chirped two meek voices from the far side of the ledge.
Kouga turned abruptly to his betas, having forgotten their presence during the tense familial exchange. Then he gazed outward, across the valley and hills and trees, watching as the clouds darkened from icy gray to charcoal. A storm was approaching. The rain was only the beginning.
"Can you feel it?" Kouga wondered, his ebony hair waving in the growing wind.
Ginta and Hakakku looked at each other nervously. "Yes," Hakakku replied. "The rain…"
"And the demonic energy fueling it," Ginta finished.
Kouga stared toward the sky, transfixed by its ominous sheen. The foreboding storm symbolized something, perhaps foreshadowing the darkness growing and spreading from the demonic presence. From Dokan Ota…
"I found Kagome shortly after I left the cave. When I found her, we were thrown into the middle of a mysteriously growing demonic presence, much like Naraku…"
"Kouga?" Ginta questioned dubiously.
Kouga raised his hand to silence his underling. "Kagome and I have been on a quest to figure this out and put this thing to rest. I have a bad feeling about it…" Kouga trailed, staring into the hypnotizing sky.
"Kouga, why didn't you come back and tell us…" Hakakku began.
"Because that thing keeps trying to take Kagome!" Kouga lashed out, spinning suddenly to meet the stares of his betas. "I have to protect her!"
Kouga's mother's eyes widened. She was listening intently. "Kouga," Kokoa called.
Kouga immediately turned to her, his betas' eyes following his. "Yes, mother?"
"May I talk to you somewhere privately?" she asked, her mouth morphing between a forged smile and an honest frown.
Kouga nodded, his eyes scrutinizing her expression.
Ginta and Hakakku exchanged a glance. "We'll wait for you inside the cave, Kouga," Ginta called as he and his comrade respectfully left Kouga and his mother alone.
They stood together silently until the others were well into the cave. "Mother, what…"
"Let's walk, Kouga," his mother smiled. She hooked her arm around his as they walked up the mountain side, finding a small ledge upon which to sit and watch the storm clouds roll in. They sat silently for several moments.
"Kouga, do you remember your sister?"
Kouga snapped his head toward his mother, his brows furrowing with confusion. Where was this coming from? "Yes, of course I remember Suki. Why? What does she have to do with anything right now?"
Kouga's mother looked wistfully toward the sky, her shoulders slumping with sadness. "She has to do with everything."
"What?..." Kouga glared at her, confusion filling his eyes.
"You were so young when she left," his mother mused, staring distantly into the darkening dusk. "It was 80 years ago. She was so inquisitive about the human world. She would sneak off against your father's orders, against my advice…" Kokoa smiled reflectively, shaking her head, reliving a memory. Her smile faded, sliding into a sad frown. "She met a man, a human. He exemplified human flaw. He was charming, but fickle. Loving, but lecherous. He seduced Suki. She left the tribe and went to him. She mated with him, but he did not take her as his mate, his one and only. She...she..." But his mother couldn't continue, instead grief ridden tears falling from misty blue eyes.
Kouga wanted more from her, wanted to ask so many questions. It had been a mystery to him back then, his sister's sudden disappearance from his life. There was more his mother wasn't telling him. Would she ever tell him?
"Mother. What?..."
She held her hand up to silence him, turning her grief stricken face away.
"Please..." she begged quietly. "Please don't ask me anymore right now...and please don't discuss this with anyone, even your father."
"But, why? Why not Father? And don't the others..."
"No," his mother interrupted harshly. She inhaled slowly, shakily, her voice softening. "We blamed Suki's disappearance on a youkai attack. We covered it. We wanted to protect her...her reputation with the tribe. Only we and a few trusted relatives in our tribe know the truth."
Kouga silently shook his head, nodding his understanding. His mind raced with hypothetical scenarios, possibilities...What had happened to his sister? Perhaps one day he would find out...
He felt a delicate yet strong hand grasp his, squeezing his palm lovingly.
"Kouga, you are our only child. Your father may be harsh, but he doesn't want to lose you. He lost Suki when she mated a human. Please understand…"
"I understand," Kouga replied firmly, squeezing his mother's hand before releasing it. He stared into the stormy sky, brooding while the brewing breeze blew his black hair behind him.
"The royal youkai often use mating as a means to unite clans or tribes or keep demons in line." Kokoa explained, watching the weather worsen with her son. Kouga turned his eyes toward his mother, listening respectfully. "They are no different than human royals in that respect. But, the average demons, the majority, know the secret of our ancestors, the instincts that youkai leaders often fight against."
"What is that?" Kouga asked quietly.
Kokoa turned her gaze to her son. She smiled fully at Kouga. He was relieved to see that smile grace her lips again. "I cannot speak for other demon species, Kouga, just wolf demons. When a wolf demon finds his mate, it is so much more than physical attraction. His inner wolf recognizes her before he comprehends it. The wolf sees no one but her. It will die to protect her. It will fight to protect her honor. She is its air. It's reason for being alive…"
Kouga's heart fluttered. What she was describing…
He felt his mother's gentle, yet strong hand affectionately touch his arm. "We can't change what is in our heart. We cannot control the wolf. Your sister was seduced by a man who did not love her. She was so influence by the human world she confused human infatuation with a demon's devoted love. But..." she said with a sly smile, "I think you're different, Kouga. Listen to your wolf. It knows its mate."
And it all made sense. The impulsive trips he made to see her when she traveled with Dog Breath, the flowers he constantly brought her despite her disapproval, his fierce need to protect her, his hunger for her touch…
Even if he did not understand it, his wolf had recognized her. The wolf always knew its mate.
"Mother, I…I can't stay here long," Kouga said rigidly, confliction clouding his cerulean eyes.
"I know," she replied, a sad smile forming upon her lips.
"I will be back," Kouga stated determinedly, looking fully at his mother. "If you and Father can wait a few weeks, I will return."
She nodded gently. Kouga watched as his mother reached around her neck and unclasped a necklace. She picked up Kouga's clawed hand and placed it in his palm, closing his fingers over the precious pendant.
"This is for her, Kouga. For your mate," Kokoa smiled lovingly.
Kouga nodded, smiling gratefully.
As the rain morphed from a mist to a shower, Kouga stared into the steadily graying sky, impatience irritating his being. Perhaps his desire was foolish, or irresponsible. The wolf inside did not care. It begged him to run from here. Run back to the well from which he came. Run to her…
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Elsewhere…
Kagome's feet pounded across the path, rain drops pelting her pink, polka-dot jacket and pants like watery BBs.
'It would have to be raining…' she thought sourly. Although actually, it was perfect. Poignant.
It was foolish, running in this rain. It was irresponsible of her too, to herself. Risking the rain to run to a man who had loved another greater than her, who would probably always love the other woman more. Her soul did not care. It forced her to run. Run through the roaring rain. Run to him.
She arrived, drenched from the down pour. She made her way to the doorway and knocked. She heard noises, shifting footsteps, and watched as the entrance opened. She shivered, from her cold, damp clothing and the anxiety swirling in her stomach upon seeing him. Her body desired to flee. Her heart forced her to stay.
He stood inside the entry of his home, exotic eyes wide and round with shock from seeing her. "Kagome?" he asked, stunned to see her actually there, right there before his eyes. She wasn't a dream? He shook his head. "You're soaked. Come in before you get sick," he commanded, motioning emphatically for her to come inside.
"O, okay," Kagome responded awkwardly, accepting his invitation. She removed her rain washed jacket, laying it down on a suitable space on the floor, watching as it immediately created a puddle where it rested. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her body for warmth and comfort.
He grabbed a nearby blanket. Kagome reached for it, but he walked past her extended hand, ignoring her gesture. She turned her head, watching as he stood behind her, his body inches from hers. She felt heat radiating from his body, warming hers from the inside out as he delicately draped the blanket around her shoulders, his large hands lingering upon her upper arms. Even through her cold clothing she felt his touch, her skin tingling against her will. As quickly as he had held her, he let her go, removing his hands and walking across the room.
Kagome mentally shook her head. Memories flashed through her mind like still frame images. Words swam through her thoughts like the soundtrack to the mental slide show. She clenched her teeth, her brows furrowing with frustration and indignity that rose through her body and burned her throat.
"Is it true?" she demanded of him, her voice surprisingly steady. The calm before the storm…
He looked at her from the side, unsure of what part she meant.
"Is what true?" he asked quietly.
What part? Her question was ambiguous, loaded, all encompassing. He was sure she probably meant…
"Everything!" she shouted, letting the soaked blanket fall, letting everything go, her shoulders shaking from cold and contempt.
He looked down, his brows furrowing with frustration. He gritted his teeth, eyes scanning the floor, frantically thinking of anything he could say. What could he say?
Kagome took a step forward, her fists clenching tightly at her sides. "Is what he said about you true?"
He clenched his teeth, unable to look upward. Unable to meet her eyes. Almost unable to conceal the barely caged emotions suffocating his soul…
"Everything he said, that they said, about you and her…" she trailed.
He stood motionless, like stone, his thoughts stagnant, nothing viable coming to his mind. How could he say anything when his interference could possibly change everything? He didn't know what to do. Say something? Lose her. Remain silent? Lose her. He stood still, his expression still…
"From what they've all said…" Kagome whispered brokenly, " your heart will always return to her…"
He scanned his mind frantically, but he remained silent. Still.
"Answer me!" Kagome cried, her eyes, her expression, angry and pleading, tears cascading down her delicate face. "I need to know! Because…" her voice cracked, a sob escaping her lips.
He looked up, watching as she bent over, clutching her stomach. His heart singed watching her sobbing, seeing her suffer so much pain, knowing it was because of him…
"Kagome," he pled, reaching his clawed hand out toward her.
She turned away, squeezing her eyes shut and praying the tears would stop. They poured like the pounding rain ricocheting off the rooftop.
She slowly opened her eyes, pitiful pools of pain glistening somberly from her streaming tears. She opened her mouth. Silence. Her lips clamped. Her thoughts were muddled, a muddy mess of incomprehensible words enveloped by emotions that made nothing make sense. Her mind was shutting down. When she opened her mouth, it was her heart that spoke.
"Because what's the point of loving you, if you can't fully love me back…"
"Kagome," he called desperately, his inhuman eyes large and fearful, swirling with suffering and longing and feelings he purposefully hid from her because he did not, could not lose her. Again.
"I'm sorry," she called softly, refusing to make eye contact with him. She rotated her body away from him, still shivering, making her way hastily to the door. "I…I shouldn't have come…"
"Kagome, please!" he begged, bounding after her.
She swirled around, her body so close to his. Her instinct implored her to wrap her arms around him and never let go. She wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing her limbs until they tingled painfully from the loss of circulation. Her face contorted, her eyes pleading, her lips trembling, her cheeks flushed.
"Just tell me something. Anything!" she beseeched him.
He gritted his teeth, enraged by his self-induced subjugation. "I can't!"
"Why?!" she sobbed, squeezing her arms until they turned red, purple marks forming where she dug her nails into her skin. She looked into his eyes desperately, tears gushing down her cheeks like the small waterfalls cascading from the rooftop.
"Because it could change everything!"
"It may change nothing!"
"I can't!" he growled, his eyes flickering with fear and frustration and fury that he had to hurt her like this, the person he loved most in this entire world. "I can't take the chance that I mess something up. I can't lose you AGAIN!"
Kagome flinched. Despite her pain, despite knowing that loving this man meant once again being the other woman, the one who could never measure up to the original, she felt for him. She felt the agony that radiated from his being. It stung her. Despite her anguish, she would never wish that upon him. But, she could not endure this again…
"Then," Kagome said quietly, closing her eyes as the tears continued falling, her body shaking from the cold and the pressure crushing her chest from her heart breaking. "I can't either."
He stood, dumbfounded, desperate, as he watched her turn slowly, hastily grabbing her dripping jacket, reaching for the door knob…
"Kagome," he called quietly.
She grasped the knob tightly, trembling, her knuckles turning white.
'She's about to leave…' he thought in horror. He was about to lose her again. His heart couldn't do this again…
"Kagome," he begged quietly, desperation, desire, dread, all drowning him.
She squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to look into his eyes. Unable to. "I have to go…"
She turned the door knob, about to push it open, about to leave, walking out the door and out of his life. Would it finally be forever? He couldn't find that out. He wouldn't…
"It was you," he breathed, almost inaudibly, all of his battled and bottled emotions bursting within him like a balloon, the words escaping like air.
"What?…" Kagome whispered.
Her mind moved in slow motion, her hand trembling upon the door knob, still clutched tightly in her grasp. She clutched it tighter.
He clenched his teeth. He could not bear this burden any longer. Five hundred years was it. Albeit a powerful demon, he could only withstand so much. Desire overwhelmed his senses. His plan, his motives, his fears, all were thrown to the wolves, washed away with the rain pouring outside the sprinkle splattered windows.
"It was you!"
"K, Kouga?" Kagome mumbled, rotating slowly, her eyes panning the room like a slow motion movie scene, until they met brilliant blue begging her to understand…
"You…I…" he choked, his sapphire eyes brimming with traumatized tears. He shook his head defiantly towards his deliberate denial.
Thunder boomed from the clouds outside, the climaxing storm screaming through the sky...
"WE WERE MATES, KAGOME!"
Her world stopped. The air hovered around her, motionless, her life a movie paused on a certain scene. Her chocolate eyes opened widely, her mind replaying his words...
'We were mates...'
Kagome couldn't breathe. He heart pumped within her chest, begging her for oxygen, and she physically could not provide it.
'We were mates...'
It was unbelievable, yet…it made sense. It finally all made sense. Their intense reunion, his mannerisms towards her, the way her looked at her… The distance and pain that often flashed in his eyes when they were together. His ability to 'feel' her presence. His description of his past mate…it all connected, unbelievably.
'We were mates…'
Adrenaline coursed through her body and was now plummeting. She panted, her breaths shallow and soon her vision blurred, her surroundings swimming as she swayed unsteadily…
"Kagome?" she heard Kouga call worriedly.
His voice was muffled, far away. She felt sweat coat her skin despite being cold and damp from the rain. She felt nauseated, urgently needing to lie down…
"Kagome!" she heard, the voice muddled, as if her swimming head were underwater.
Then, like the storm erupting through the evening sky or the deep, murky waters below a river's surface, everything went black…