Chapter Nine: Glasses

Worried that Alya will recognize her as Ladybug, Marinette steals her glasses. Adrien does the same to Nino. Great minds think alike, or a bad idea twice over?

Alya scowled hideously at the page in front of her. She automatically reached up to adjust her glasses, then scowled again when she only managed to tap herself on the bridge of her nose. Fiddling impatiently with her pen, she turned to the girl beside her with an exasperated huff.

"Can't you go a bit faster, Marinette? I'm falling further behind, and the bell is about to go."

"I don't think I can," Marinette apologetically murmured back. She was carefully copying the teacher's notes from the blackboard onto a piece of notepaper; several similar sheets were already stacked by Alya's elbow. "If I go much faster, it'll be too hard for you to read."

Alya rolled her unadorned eyes. "No it won't. You have the best hand-writing out of everyone in the class; you're a designer, after all."

Though it was certainly a compliment, Marinette pulled a face. "My sketches are messy when I'm not being careful; I'm making sure that it's legible."

"Illegible is better than non-existent, Mari. Just scrawl it down quick as you can, let me worry about deciphering it."

"Okay, okay. Here's what I have so far-" Marinette handed over her half-filled page, pulled a new sheet towards her, and began urgently writing at almost double the pace.

A seat ahead of them, Nino squinted at the paper in his hand as if he was trying to read a distant street-sign. He held it closer to his face, turned it at an angle, even flipped it upside-down, and finally gave up, tossing it down on the desk. Rubbing his aching eyes without attempting to remove non-existent glasses, he gave the boy beside him a nudge with his elbow.

"Dude, you do realize I need to be able to read your notes in order to copy them, right? What are these, hieroglyphs?"

"At least they're not Chinese," Adrien retorted, not pausing as he dashed out another line of haphazard cursive.

"It might as well be," Nino muttered, waving the unintelligible sheet of notes at him.

"I'm just trying to make sure you keep up with everyone, you'll fall behind otherwise."

"I'm falling behind anyway. Seriously, how can someone ho's so neat in everything else have such messy writing? Are you planning on becoming a doctor or something?"

Adrien gave a very un-model-like smirk. "Hey, if an apple a day would keep the photographers away..."

Nino cuffed him lightly on the arm; luckily, it was his non-writing hand. "Your jokes are apple-ing."

Adrien snickered under his breath, the sound mingling with the scratch of his pen. "Good one."

"I've sunk to your level. Now that I've impressed you with my equally-rotten humour, will you please rewrite this?"

"Yeah, yeah, give me a sec-" Adrien took the offending paper from him, selected a blank sheet, and began writing at half his previous pace.

A series of groans echoed round the classroom. Though the four of them had been bickering in half-whispers, the other students had clearly heard them. Ms Bustier turned from the blackboard with a long-suffering look; not that the ones she directed it at could see it. "Alya, Nino, do you still not have any glasses? I know you said you'd try to find the ones you lost, but you've been without them for almost a week. If you can manage to get some replacement-"

"But I liked my old ones," both Nino and Alya said, at the exact same time.

Nearly everyone laughed, even Ms Bustier. The only ones who didn't so much as chuckle were Marinette and Adrien.

They were too busy writhing in silent guilt.

Marinette looked forward to the weekly release of La Mode magazine. She always appreciated the chance to ogle new pictures of Adrien in his father's clothes - partly for the clothes, mostly for Adrien.

This week, she'd had extra reason to anticipate it: she was featured in the talent-search segment as an up-and-coming designer, having already impressed Gabriel Agreste and Jagged Stone with her work. When an advance copy arrived in the mail care of the editor, she had opened it with a thumping heart - then reeled back in terror.

There was the profile on her, in a narrow side-bar; and directly opposite it was a full-page picture of Ladybug and Chat Noir, accompanied by a write-up on "Paris' most fashionable heroic duo".

This was a disaster - they might as well have published side-by-side photos of her in and out of costume and asked their readers to spot the differences!

After a good solid hour's freak-out and an in-depth talking-to from Tikki, she finally managed to calm down. After all, people who knew her as Marinette saw her as Ladybug all the time, and no one had recognized her yet. She knew her parents only had eyes for 'their little girl', and probably wouldn't even glance at the heroine on the opposite page.

It was Alya she had to worry about.

The one thing that rivalled Alya's support for her best friend was her passion for all things Ladybug. If she ever discovered that her two favourite interests were one and the same, she would totally flip out - and with such blatant evidence in front of her, it might happen sooner rather than later. Alya could be impulsive and single-minded at times, but she certainly wasn't stupid! If she saw those two pages together, Marinette might as well kiss her secret identity goodbye.

But what could she do? It would be futile to try to dissuade Alya from looking at the magazine. Besides the fact that she would never miss her best friend's media debut, the article on Ladybug featured a link to the Ladyblog along with a glowing recommendation, so she would absolutely check out both stories for sure. Marinette couldn't nearly afford to buy up every copy of the magazine in Paris - even Chloe probably didn't have that kind of wealth - and Alya would just read the online version anyway.

With no other options, she had resorted to something truly drastic.

On the day the magazine came out, it had been raining. Alya had taken off her glasses in the locker room and put them down, hunting about in her bag for something to wipe the raindrops off with. In a split-second moment of madness, Marinette had snatched them up and, after a hasty check to make sure no one was watching, hid them in her locker behind a case of sewing supplies. When Alya asked if she had seen her glasses anywhere, she had feigned ignorance, glad her best friend couldn't see the incriminating look on her face. She had dutifully led Alya around like the human equivalent of a seeing-eye dog for the rest of the week, trying not to let her own clumsiness knock them both over or lead them into walls. She knew it had been a stupid thing to do, and Tikki had reprimanded her for it afterwards; but she'd had no other choice.

She knew that it couldn't go on forever. She planned to miraculously 'find' Alya's glasses a week after they disappeared, when a new issue of La Mode was out, and the previous one hopefully forgotten. It was the longest week of Marinette's life - and she had once spent five whole days hand-sewing a beaded purse for her mother's friend the had to be done in time for her daughter's wedding, while fending off no less than three akuma attacks, and being assigned to work on a class project with Chloe. Not all at the same time, thank goodness; that would have made this week only marginally worse, instead of a lot worse.

At least the ordeal was nearly over - for herself, and more importantly, for Alya. Just a few more days, and then everything would be back to normal.

Just a few more days, Adrien told himself, and then everything would be back to normal - for himself, and more importantly, for Nino.

It really shouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary. He was certainly no stranger to publicity; he saw doppelgangers of himself staring back out of billboards, from newsstands, and even on the sides of passing buses, practically every other day of the week. He hadn't even known that he would be in this week's issue of La Mode - at least, not as himself. He had managed to get an advance copy from his publicist's office after seeing the excited post on Alya's blog; though he had gotten it for the article on Ladybug and Chat Noir, he intended to read Marinette's feature while he was at it.

He had turned straight to the large-scale photo of himself, accidentally flipped one page too far - and froze in stupefied horror.

Directly after the article on Chat Noir was an advertisement for 'Gabriel au de Parfum', with a blown-up picture of his unmasked face. The pose and composition were near-identical to the overleaf shot of him with his Lady.

This was a cat-astrophe! If he thumbed the page back and forth fast enough, it was almost like a flip-animation of him transforming in and out of costume.

Plagg found it amusing; Adrien, not so much. Sure, he didn't really have too much cause for worry. His likeness was already plastered all over town (his publicist was very good at her job) and Papillion hadn't yet burst through his bedroom window to demand his Miraculous. Alya might be a Ladybug fanatic, but it was doubtful she paid enough attention to Chat Noir and/or Adrien Agreste to notice the resemblance. The same went for Marinette; she would probably be too busy pouring over her own feature to even glance at the rest of the magazine.

Which just left Nino.

Besides being a stellar best friend, Nino was also a stellar boyfriend. After listening to Alya rave about her blog's upcoming shout-out for weeks on end, he would be sure to read the article carefully, in case his girlfriend quizzed him on it. And while he didn't exactly study every single image of Adrien out there - he'd have his work cut out for him if he tried - the proximity of those two pictures was enough to pose a very real risk.

And so he'd hatched a plan. A foolhardy, impetuous plan that Ladybug would no doubt disapprove of, and which set Plagg muttering something about being paired with a dunce every time. Though Adrien's grades more than negated that criticism, in this case, he couldn't help but agree.

In gym class the day of the magazine's release, their basketball game got rained out. When Nino took off his glasses in order to change into a dry shirt, Adrien had snatched them up, stashing them in his locker behind his fencing gear. He lied about not having seen them, then spent the rest of the week using his cat-like reflexes to stop Nino from tripping down steps or walking in front of cars.

He felt terribly disloyal, but the means justified the end. Besides, it wasn't for much longer; just a few more days, and then Nino's glasses would 'miraculously' reappear. As far as Adrien was concerned, the day couldn't come fast enough - he had thought extra photo-shoots, boring corporate dinners, and surprise visits from Chloe were tedious enough to lengthen his week, but the past few days had seemed to stretch on into eternity.

At least it was nearly the weekend. Salvation was practically in sight - both literally and figuratively. Soon, everything would go back to normal.

The school bell rang. While the other students gratefully packed up their things and filed out of the room, Alya and Nino scrambled to finish their notes, Marinette and Adrien hovering ineffectually beside them. They stopped abruptly when Ms Bustier slapped a sheet of paper down on both their desks at the same time.

"I photocopied the course material," she said, in a wry tone. "While I was at it, I enlarged the type. Don't bother re-copying it, unless it helps you memorize. Just add it to your binders and look it over before revision next week."

Nino and Alya beamed in the vague direction of her voice. "Thanks, ma'am!"

"Don't mention it." She smiled back, then regarded them sternly. "However, please don't come to class without any glasses on Monday morning. I know you didn't purposefully lose them, but this past week has been difficult for everyone; besides taking a toll on the pair of you, it has been highly disruptive for the rest of the class. Either try to find your original glasses over the weekend, or see about getting replacements as soon as possible."

Once again acting perfectly in sync, Alya and Nino sheepishly lowered their eyes. "Yes, ma'am."

With a satisfied nod, Ms Bustier walked back towards her desk. As she passed, she spared a glance at Adrien and Marinette. "Thanks so much for helping out your friends, you two. I hope it hasn't kept you from doing your own work."

"No, ma'am." Neither of them noticed that, just like their friends, they spoke in perfect unison - not even Marinette. She and Adrien were too preoccupied with their own thoughts.

It was only for a few days more. At least it was the weekend; that should make things easier.

"You have got to be KIDDING me! You goddamn piece of-"

It was lucky Alya's younger sisters were out with their parents; she would have been in serious trouble if her siblings had been even remotely within earshot of such language.

The only person in hearing distance was Marinette. The delicate macaroon she was holding slipped through her fingers and landed on the plate she had been filling, where it broke into countless tiny pieces. She paid no heed; hastily dusting stray crumbs from her hands, she took off at a jog, following the steady stream of expletives coming from her best friend's room. Tikki, who had been discreetly snacking on a macaroon of her own underneath the bench, phased into her purse when she was already halfway down the hall. She reached the bedroom door to find Alya still swearing prolifically, her head clutched in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Marinette asked, with a heavy sense of foreboding.

Alya spun round in the desk chair, turning to face her general direction. "What's wrong?!" she bellowed back, as if she was hard of hearing as well as nearly blind. "What's wrong is that I just accidentally deleted the final draft of my blog post! I was getting rid of the previous version so I didn't get them mixed up, and I picked the wrong bloody file! I spent hours working on that, searching through archived footage, writing, revising, formatting the damn thing - it took me ages! There's no way I can redo it in time for the update I promised my followers!"

Marinette looked at her feet, mentally digging a hole for herself in the carpet with the toe of her shoe. "Sorry," she murmured.

"You should be sorry!" Alya hollered at her, to her great surprise and alarm. "If you hadn't stolen my glasses in the first place, this never would have happened! I mean, did you really think it would stop me from finding out that you're Ladybug? As if I didn't already know! Sure, the magazine did spell it out pretty obviously, but it's nothing compared to your previous blunders. I mean, your history book, honestly! As if the first thing I'd do when I found it wouldn't be to look at the flyleaf in case there was a name on it! You're so lucky that when you didn't bring it up at the Louvre despite me giving you every opportunity, I assumed I was mistaken. I must have been in shock; how else could I have convinced myself that Chloe was Ladybug? And then I got akumatized, and I felt horrible for fighting you, and Papillion could have found out who you are from reading my mind, if he's able to do that - luck really must be one of your superpowers! Ever since then, I was pretty sure it was you. I've been covering for you for months, you know. Several times now I've warned you that your earrings were about to run out, distracted reporters from following you, deliberately ignored all the times you talked into your purse, resisted the urge to peek at magick-y glows coming from behind pillars. I led Nino away from you at the zoo so you could transform, and how did you thank me? By locking me in a cage! And yet I didn't get my revenge by pointing out that your phone had no slime on it when you pretended to get taken by Horrificator, that would've been unfair. I could go on, but-"

She stopped, frustration turning into worry for the first time. "Uh, Mari? Are you there? I can't really see you, so, um... say something if you're still here? Hello...? Marinette, are y-"

She was answered by a muffled thud, as something dropped heavily onto the soft rug at the centre of the room.

Marinette had just keeled over backwards in a dead faint.

Adrien was rifling through Nino's CD collection, looking for something particularly embarrassing to play. The boys had planned to watch a movie, but since Nino was without his glasses, that was a no-go (seriously, he hadn't thought his 'plan' through at all!). Instead, they were going to listen to music together at Nino's place. The aspiring DJ had offered to educate Adrien on popular tunes, since he didn't really know anything other than classical pieces. With Nino unable to read the album covers, he was going to put on random CD's and challenge his friend to recognize them by sound. He flipped through another rack of discs. Since none of them seemed humiliating enough - at least he didn't think so, he had no idea who any of these bands were - he was considering streaming The Spice Girls on his phone - even he knew who they were! After the miserable week Nino had been through, he wanted to make him laugh as much as possible, it was the very least he could-

A yell that sounded something like 'argh!' echoed down the hall, immediately followed by a loud thud. It was akin to a Charlie Brown cartoon, yet Adrien wasn't laughing. He got up from where he had been kneeling in front of the shelf and raced out into the hallway. Halfway along it, he looked down to find Plagg's curious head poking out of his pocket; he quickly shoved him back out of sight, though there was no real need.

There were two small steps leading up from the Lahiffe's kitchen to the living area. Despite tackling them every other day without incident, Nino had managed to trip up them, landing sprawled on his face. Two bottles of juice, a large bowl, and a scattering of popcorn were arranged around him, like items at a crime scene; the only thing missing was the chalk outline. Despite Adrien's request for a 'healthy' snack that wouldn't bring the ire of his nutritionist down on them, it appeared Nino had slathered the popcorn with butter, to the detriment of the carpet.

It would've been funny, if Adrien wasn't so concerned for him - especially since he was the indirect author of this mishap. Luckily, nothing appeared to be broken. Hoisting himself up with a groan, Nino clambered onto his hands and knees, unwittingly crushing more popcorn into the hall rug.

"Are you okay?" Adrien asked, trying and failing to not sound guilt-ridden.

"No I'm not," Nino snapped, dusting greasy fragments from his clothes. "Man, this is getting ridiculous! Can you please hurry up and give me back my glasses? Unlike you, some of us don't always land on our feet!"

"Wha...?" Adrien took an involuntary step back, sneakers crunching loudly.

"Yeah, I know you're Chat Noir. Dude, did you really think taking my glasses would keep me from finding out? Anyone with a pair of eyes could figure it out! I already know, so if you want a blind friend, you should chum up with Daredevil instead - though I'm sure he'd work it out after hearing just a few of your jokes! Seriously, even your best ones are still pretty-"

He stopped, squinting in front of him; his manner changed from annoyance to confusion."Uh, dude? Is that you? You've been looking like a blurry blob all week, but now you're a very pale blob. Uh, Adrien? Buddy...?"

Adrien could not answer. He was frozen in mute shock.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know she would-"

"It's alright, don't worry, what's done is done. Here, put this under her head."

"What is this? A cushion...?"

"I think it's the arm rest that goes with your keyboard. Marinette has one just like it."

"Yeah, she made it for me. Oh god, if she's hurt because of me-"

"Calm down, Alya! Put it behind her head, it's just the right shape to support her neck. I'm too small to lift her, so..."

"Oh. Oh, right, sure. Is she alright? She didn't hit her head, did she? Are you sure she's breathing? Should we-"

"It's fine, just keep calm. I think she's starting to come round. Marinette...? Can you hear me?"

Marinette could feel fuzzy carpet beneath her hands, and a dimpled roll of foam behind her head. She opened bleary eyes, gradually focusing on the two faces that hovered over her. Tikki was floating close in front of her; she marvelled at how her head looked almost the same size as Alya's from this perspective, it was-

"Gah!"

She shot up into a sitting position with a shriek, nearly collecting Tikki on her forehead in the process. Fighting back a bout of dizziness, she snatched the kwami and shielded her from view with her hands. "Look out, Alya, it's a giant crimson-dotted-stinger-wasp! Keep away, it's dangerous! I'll release it out the window, so just stay back while I-"

She trailed off when she saw the bemused look Alya was aiming roughly her way. "Give it up, girl - you've already been spotted!"

Tikki giggled between her palms; with a sigh, Marinette released her. Alya instantly leaned forward, straining to look at her.

"Uh, sorry about before... um... you knew my name, but I don't-"

"Tikki," the kwami supplied.

"Uh, yeah, thanks for before, Tikki. If you don't mind me asking... what are you? I can't really see you, but you're small and red, and you seem to be kind of... glowing."

"I'm a kwami," Tikki patiently explained. The whole scenario reminded Marinette vividly of how she had first found her earrings. "I give Marinette the powers that make her Ladybug."

Alya's face broke into an ecstatic grin. "Ohmigod, this is so awesome! I've been waiting for this opportunity for so long, I have so many questions! First off: what is a kwami? Are you the lone survivor of an alien race? A wish-granting fairy-godmother? A magical pet familiar?"

Tikki giggled at the onslaught of questions. "The last one is probably closest. I've been companion to Ladybugs throughout history, helping them realize their full potential as heroes and protectors."

Alya snapped her fingers. "So you're the one who's five-thousand years old! I thought it odd that this girl here was supposed to be ancient, yet she doesn't have a single grey hair!"

With the attention back on her, Marinette shifted nervously. "Alya, I'm sorry I-"

"Don't bother apologizing," Alya broke in before she could go on. "I'm already fine with it. It's, like, Superheroing 101 that you can't tell anyone about your secret identity. It's a trope, but a necessary trope, and I totally understand why you kept it from me - even if you didn't keep it very well."

Marinette laughed sheepishly. "Uh, yeah. Guess it was sort of obvious...?"

"Well, the fact that you kept the same hairstyle didn't help - there aren't too many pig-tailed girls who can stand up to Chloe around the place! And the history book really sealed it. Even then I was still in denial, until I saw you next to yourself when Chronogirl attacked, I don't know how nobody else noticed it-"

"You must have already seen past the glamour," Tikki mused out loud.

"I did? That is so awesome! Is it some kind of magic spell? A function of the suit? Are the earrings some sort of-"

"You're really enjoying this," Marinette weakly complained. She hadn't really coped with everything that had just happened; her head was still spinning, and her knees felt like jelly.

"Of course I am! Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting to talk to you like this?" Alya gripped the arms of her chair, suddenly pensive. "It's been so hard to watch you go off to fight every time there's an akuma, and not even be able to say 'take care' or 'thank you for saving us' or 'do you have any idea how amazing you are'. Why do you think I've been trying to catch it all on film? I've been dreaming of the day when we could go over all this together! I understand why you weren't able to share it with me, but... I hoped that you might eventually trust me enough to-"

Marinette swooped on her, enveloping her in a hug. Unable to see it coming, Alya was nearly knocked off her feet.

"I'm sorry! It was hard for me too. I thought about telling you any number of times, but... I just wanted to keep you safe."

Alya patted her back comfortingly. "Heh, I know how it is," she quipped. "Chat Noir is obviously your best friend over me. Just because he has a Miraculous and a self-extending staff and magical powers and a cute little bell-"

"No, it's not like that," Marinette countered. "I didn't tell him either; only you and Tikki know, so please don't-"

"Wait - he doesn't know who you are?!" Alya gaped at her in genuine surprise. "But then how can he be your partner? How does he contact you when there's no akuma around? How do you contact him?"

"I don't, he doesn't, and we've managed so far. It was my rule; if Papillion gets to one of us-"

"I guess I understand that, but... does this mean you've been keeping it to yourself all this time?"

"Myself and Tikki," Marinette corrected.

"She's been very concerned about exposing the people around her to any kind of danger," Tikki explained.

Alya shook her head, giving her friend as extra-tight squeeze. "You poor thing, dealing with this on your own all this time! And here I thought you were keeping Chat Noir to yourself because he's even more ridiculously handsome than Adrien under the mask."

Marinette scoffed; drawing back out of the hug, she placed her hands on her hips. "He may claim his looks would make me swoon if he ever revealed his face to me, but the only thing that makes me feel faint is his weak sense of humour."

Alya was beaming at the wall behind her. "It really is you! If only I could properly see you in your sassy pose, that would prove it once and for all."

Marinette wrung her hands. "Yeah, um, sorry about that. I was going to give your glasses back-"

"-when I was no longer your best friend and your number-one fan? Only when hell freezes over - and I can't wait that long! Can I please have them back now?"

"Right now? They're at school, and it's locked up on-"

"Mari, in case you have forgotten: you are freaking Ladybug! A lock on a school gate is nothing compared to the worst akuma Papillion can dream up!"

"B-but, I'm not supposed to use my powers for-"

"I think we can make an exception for Alya," Tikki interrupted. "She's earned it."

"You bet I have!" Alya wholeheartedly agreed. "Besides, didn't you use your powers to steal Adrien's phone?"

Marinette blushed; now was not the time to confess how she had once used Lucky Charm to stop her crush from slow-dancing with Chloe! "I did that without any powers, but I won't be able to manage it this time. I'll have to-"

Alya scooted a bit closer. "Are you going to transform?! Oh gosh, I would love to see-"

"You will," Marinette promised. Much as she worried about the scrapes this knowledge could possibly land Alya in, it was more than a little gratifying to be able to openly accept her best friend's adoration like this. "As soon as I get back - and Tikki has had some cookies - I'll transform just to show you."

Alya looked both confused and enthralled. "Are cookies part of the magic?"

Tikki chuckled. "The very best part!" She turned to a still dazed-looking Marinette with a reassuring smile. "Ready when you are!"

Marinette nodded; from the way Alya was peering desperately in her direction with bated breath, she was ready too - as ready as she could be without her glasses. "Tikki, transform me!"

A minute later, having managed to stem - or at least postpone - Alya's barrage of rapid-fire questions, Ladybug swung out of the bedroom window, heading toward Francoise-Dupont College.

"I think I broke him."

Nino peered concernedly at Adrien, little good that it did. Plagg looked over his shoulder with something akin to professional interest.

"Nah, I'd say his brain already had a few screws loose; you just made it stall." He floated up close to Adrien's face, waving his paws in front of glazed green eyes. "Hey, you can relax now! The cat's out of the bag!"

Adrien stirred. "I wanted to say that," he was amazed to hear himself complain.

Nino spluttered. "I would recognize that sense of humour anywhere!"

"You were quicker on the uptake than I thought you'd be," Plagg purred approvingly. Adrien was pretty sure this situation could not get any more surreal - Plagg, giving compliments?!

Nino turned to face Plagg's vicinity. "Speaking of which... what are you, exactly? I can't see you very well, but you're apparently small, black, and able to fly."

Plagg frowned, disappointed that Nino couldn't admire him in full. "I'm a kwami. I give Chat Noir his powers, keep him in line, and am generally the brains of the outfit."

"More like the stomach," Adrien retorted, managing to return to some semblance of his normal self.

"Hey, troops cannot march on one wheel of camembert alone."

"You eat enough for an entire army!"

Nino slapped his forehead. "Man, is that why your bag always smells like sweaty socks!"

Adrien shot Plagg a glare; the kwami sadly shook his head. "Philistines, the pair of you!"

"I thought he was Chat Noir," Nino joked. Adrien regarded him guiltily.

"How long have you known...?"

"Dude, it wasn't exactly hard to figure out! Blond-haired new guy turns up in our class minutes before an akuma appears; moments later, blond-haired superhero is chasing said akuma towards the Eiffel Tower. How else could you get there so quickly - Ladybug turned up ages after you! I still kind of doubted it, until I got to know you better. I see more of you than most people - granted, the general public does see quite a lot of you - and after seeing that face every day in class, I'd be stupid not to recognize it when it crops up on the news. That little mask of yours hides squat."

Plagg gave a huff, apparently taking this as a personal insult against his transformative powers. Nino went on without noticing."With all the different outfits you wear on shoots, the Chat Noir costume is just another set of clothes. A pretty outlandish set of clothes-" Plagg looked daggers at him"-but still. And then I saw you take on Dark Knight and you did that fencing move you always do, that one where you kind of lunge forward-"

"A riposte?"

"Yeah, that! After I saw you do that as both Adrien and Chat Noir, it was pretty obvious. It's a wonder Papillion hasn't already spotted one of your billboards and swooped through your window while you're asleep!" When this remark met only silence, Nino tilted his head to one side, listening intently. "Are you freaking out again, dude? Relax, I don't think anyone else has worked it out - I know Alya hasn't, and if anyone would, it'd be her! Hey, we're bros - I know you better than anyone, so of course I'd be the one to notice!" He groped about in empty air for a moment, managing to clap Adrien on the shoulder on the fourth attempt. "Your secret's safe with me. I can finally tell you how super cool you are - I mean dude, you're a supermodel and a superhero! That is so awesome!"

Adrien slung his arm round his best friend, sure that his valuable cheekbones were stretched beyond repair by the broad smile on his face. "You're the clawsomest, Nino! Why didn't you tell me that you knew?"

"I was waiting for you to bring it up. I wish I'd said something sooner; perhaps then you wouldn't have pulled a stupid stunt like this." Nino pointed at his face, and the glasses that weren't on it.

Adrien chuckled uneasily. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that."

"I told you it was a stupid idea," Plagg muttered.

Before Adrien could reply, Nino said pointedly, "It would be a very stupid idea not to give them back immediately, if you catch my drift."

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure. I have to go get them from school, so just sit tight, I'll be back with them right away."

"Want me to mind your pet for you while you're gone?"

"I'm not a pet!" Plagg exclaimed, sounding scandalized.

Adrien laughed. "Nah, I need him. Since the school will be locked up, Adrien isn't going - Chat Noir is."

Nino suddenly looked hopeful. "Are you going to Cataclysm the school?"

"Of course not!"

"Not even a little bit? Not even, like, the storeroom where Bustier keeps her test papers?"

"Hey, super-heroing is a serious business! Cataclysm is not something to mess around with, and definitely not to be used for frivolous reasons."

"It's not frivolous - I'm sure I'm gonna fail the literature review on Monday! Besides, you're the one sending Chat Noir to break into the student locker room for a pair of specs."

"Touché," Adrien conceded. "Actually, the real reason I can't Cataclysm anything is that Ladybug isn't here to fix it - not to mention she would kill me if she found out what I did."

Nino shot him a sly look. "Hey, if I didn't already have an incredibly scary girlfriend, I'd ask you to introduce me to her!"

Adrien scoffed. "As if I could do that without telling her that my secret identity was compromised - she'd clobber me with her yoyo if she knew!"

"She's strict about not letting people find out?"

"You bet; even we don't know who the other is. No one knows except you and Plagg, so-"

Nino gaped at him. "Whoa - she doesn't know?! And you don't know who she is either? No wonder you always have that dopey, lovelorn look on your face behind the mask."

"What look?" Adrien asked, trying to ignore Plagg's malicious chuckle.

"The one you're probably wearing right now."

"How do you know what my face is doing?"

"I don't." Nino made a shooing gesture at him. "So hurry up and get my glasses so I don't have to guess!"

"Okay, okay. Plagg, transform me!"

Even Nino was able to see the flash of green light that accompanied these words. After promising to let him see his transformation properly later on - and voicing a request for camembert when he got back - Chat Noir leapt through his best friend's livingroom window. Vaulting over the rooftops, he made his way toward Francoise-Dupont College.

The school grounds were locked up for the weekend. It wasn't like anyone could just waltz in through the front gates - not even superheroes.

Ladybug scaled the rooftop, lowering herself down into the main quadrangle. Avoiding the cameras dotted at strategic points around the building, she made it to the door of the locker room, only to find it securely shut. She was about to use Lucky Charm to give her a lock pick - or, hopefully, something similar - when she noticed one of the windows onto the hallway was ajar, managing to scramble through it with something resembling her usual grace. Now all she had to do was grope her way to the right locker without tripping in the dark, blindly enter her locker combination, retrieve Alya's glasses, and get out of here. All in a day's work.

Chat Noir brought up blueprints on his staff's flip-out screen, finding an air vent that led directly from the side of the building to the locker room. It was ideal for avoiding the school's surveillance cameras, and gave him an excuse to use his suit's night vision. Finding a grate over the vent's exit into the locker room, he was about to Cataclysm it - Nino's wish might come true after all - when he pushed it and found that it swung open almost noiselessly. Maybe Ivan and Mylene regularly used this space to hide away for make-out sessions? He'd have to ask Nino if he and Alya were the culprits, smirking at the prospect. All in good time; for now, he just had to get to his locker, grab the glasses, and leave the way he'd come. No paw-blem.

When two combination locks clicked simultaneously, they passed it off as a weird echo, or a figment of their overactive nerves. When two locker doors creaked loudly in the otherwise silent room, there could be no denying it; they froze in place, slowly turning towards each other in tandem.

Ladybug could just barely make out a familiar silhouette between her and the light from the windows, a pair of glasses clutched in one clawed hand. But what really arrested her attention was the spot the shadowy figure stood on. She knew that patch of ground, had memorized its location, knew it exactly by heart, practically worshipped it as a floor-level shrine - that was the location of Adrien's locker. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she could see a white set of fencing gear neatly folded on the locker's top shelf, in stark contrast to Chat Noir's dark suit. But what was Chat doing here? How had he opened Adrien's locker? Why had he opened Adrien's locker? And why did he have a pair of glasses that looked just like Nino's? Come to think of it, hadn't Nino lost his glasses around the same time as she had taken Alya's? Ha, it was almost like he could be- no, wait, that wasn't... surely it was impossible, but it was almost like he was...

Even though his night vision didn't allow him to see in any colour besides neon-green, Chat Noir instantly recognized Ladybug's red-suited figure standing opposite him. Besides the sheer unlikeliness of her being here, what amazed him was the open locker behind her. On the top shelf, he could see a spotted case, which he might have passed off as Ladybug-themed, if it weren't for the floral embroidery on it that was Marinette's signature pattern. Sure, he had long suspected that Ladybug and Marinette knew each other (the Evilstrator incident stood out in his mind), but why would she be- wait, were those Alya's glasses in her hand? He'd thought it was a funny coincidence that Alya had lost her glasses at the same time as Nino - convenient for him, definitely - but... it seemed incredible, but did this mean she was...

The pair stood staring at each other, neither of them speaking, moving, so much as blinking. They were too busy trying to process the unthinkable, with brains that were on the verge of crashing at any moment.

They might have remained like that indefinitely, if it weren't for a sound beyond the doorway to the locker room: a pair of footsteps, approaching rapidly.

They both stirred, moving on pure instinct. They were amazed to find themselves suddenly side by side, having automatically moved to cover the other's back, just like they normally would. They gaped at each other dumbfoundedly for a moment, then focused on the unknown presence outside the door. Getting out through the quadrangle was not an option, and scrambling through the air vent would make too much noise - they needed to get out both swiftly and silently.

Somehow, Ladybug managed to find her voice, though it was barely loud enough to be called a whisper. "Can you make us an exit?"

Chat Noir jolted, as if he had been given an electric shock. Turning to look at the opposite wall of the room, he remotely marvelled that not one but two of his classmates had asked him to Cataclysm the school that afternoon. Because Marinette was his classmate, and she was - Ladybug was - they were -

"S-sure." Murmuring as loud as he dared, he uttered "Cataclysm!"

A moment later, he had swiped his hand across the wall, opening a doorway in the brick for them. He watched Ladybug step through it ahead of him, feeling strangely like he was outside of himself. Blinking as his visor abruptly disengaged its night-vision in the bright sunlight, he turned to find the hole in the wall still gaping at him.

"Can you fix-?"

Normally, Ladybug would take exception to Chat Noir questioning her ability; standard procedure would be to deliver a swift put-down, with a bop on his nose for good measure. However, at this moment Marinette was struggling not to hyperventilate over the fact that she had touched Adrien Agreste's nose repeatedly! And thrown him off a rooftop! And clung to him as he carried her! And been hugged by him! And flirted with him! And kissed-

Reasserting her Ladybug self with a huge effort, she tried to focus on the here and now. And right now, Chat Noir - Adrien - Chat - Adrien! - was looking at her expectantly. Oh yeah, he'd asked her to fix the wall he'd just Cataclysmed. They would have a hard time explaining it if the gaping hole was still there on Monday morning!

"I think I can," she murmured, with uncharacteristic doubt. She suddenly felt more like Marinette than Ladybug. Which made sense, since Adrien was next to her, and Adrien always made Marinette feel and act like-

She made a valiant effort to pull herself together. " I hope I can," she managed this time. Taking a deep breath - praying she would manage to not hit herself on the head, or him on the head - how many times had she nearly concussed Adrien! - she hurled her yoyo upward. "Lucky Charm!"

A lint-proof cloth dropped into her hand. "Oh. I... guess that makes sense." Looking at the pair of glasses in her hand as if she had only just remembered their existence, she wiped the lenses with the cloth, being as thorough as haste would allow.

"Here, use this-" She went to hand the cloth to Chat Noir, then froze, remembering that he was Adrien!

Chat Noir gingerly took the cloth, being just as careful to avoid touching her hand as he was not to snag his claws in the cloth. He could recognize Marinette beneath the mask now, those were her mannerisms, and this was... odd. "Will it only work if the Lucky Charm is useful?" he asked, polishing Nino's glasses as quick as he could without scratching them. Was that the sound of the door knob turning...?

"I don't know, but I'm not taking any chances." Having to focus on the task in front of her was a blessing. Ladybug deftly caught the cloth he tossed back to her, threw it in the air, and said: "Miraculous Ladybug!"

The wall was enveloped in a flickering beam of rosy light; when it cleared, it was whole again. Both heroes breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bien joué!"

The motion was entirely habitual; they did it without thinking. It was only after their fists connected that the events of the past few minutes came rushing back to them. They froze for a moment, surveyed each other with wide eyes, then gave startled yelps and hastily pulled their hands away.

Chat Noir was in a state of bewilderment. How else, with everything rushing through his mind, could he focus, of all things, on the fact that Plagg wasn't here to spoil his moment this time? With a shaky grin at the girl beside him, he said: "Uh, I guess the cat is out of the bag...?"

In response, Ladybug made an 'eep' sound that was so like Mariette, there was no room left for any doubt.

Alya and Nino could not stop laughing.

Ladybug and Chat Noir had stood gaping at each other in the alley behind the school, until their beeping Miraculous finally snapped them out of it. Hastily making stammered excuses, they had each dashed back to their respective best friends' place; the first sight that had met Alya's and Nino's eyes after getting their glasses back had been a panicking superhero. Having convinced them to change back to their civilian identity - marveling at the whoosh of magical energy all the while - they had been presented with the impossible task of getting a coherent account. When this inevitably failed, they had been forced to turn to the kwamis for a meaningful explanation. Tikki hemmed and hawed a lot, Plagg a little; but with all the reveals that had already taken place, it was hardly worth keeping up any more attempts at secrecy. After a few minutes of frantically trying to call each other and finding the line busy, Alya and Nino finally managed to get through to each other, drowned each other out in a tirade of incredulous shouts, and finally agreed to drag the shell-shocked superheroes to the park. As soon as they set eyes on each other, the hilarity of it all set in, and they had collapsed on a park bench in fits of giggles, a state in which they had remained ever since.

That had been almost ten minutes ago, and they were still laughing. Though they should be able to see again now that they had their glasses back, they were instead blinded by tears as they lolled helplessly, leaning heavily on each other and gasping for breath between guffaws. Marinette and Adrien stood in front of them, alternately grimacing at their best friends' reactions and avoiding looking at each other, waiting for the laughter to subside. It was a long time coming.

Marinette sighed. "It's really not that fun-" she began to say.

"Yes it is!" Alya howled over the top of her, clutching her aching sides.

Adrien folded his arms, trying to look stern. "You wouldn't think so if y-"

"This could only happen to you two!" Nino declared, nudging Alya's shoulder with his own; she slapped him on the back, and they both started chuckling all over again.

Adrien and Marinette finally managed to look directly at each other, if only to exchange exasperated glances.

"Try to see it from our point of view," Marinette reasoned. "We only just found out th-"

"You're both so oblivious!" Nino chortled.

"It's been quite a shock for us," Adrien said, his protective side coming out as he backed up his Lady. "Can you imagine how-"

"It's almost unbelievable!" Alya all but shrieked.

Suddenly inspired, Nino nudged her again. "It's incredible!'

"Phenomenal!"

"Astounding!"

"Fantastic!"

"Miraculous!" they both shouted, falling all over each other yet again. Marinette and Adrien huffed in unison, only to spy each other struggling to hide half-smiles.

Plagg leaned out of Adrien's pocket. "You've got to admit, it is pretty hysterical."

Tikki peeped out of Marinette's purse. "Not as ridiculous as the first time it happened, but still..."

Plagg chortled happily. "Five thousand years on, and the joke still hasn't gotten old!"

"This happens often?" Nino asked, wiping tears from his eyes. He did a double-take when his gaze passed over Marinette's purse. "Wait, so... you're a kwami too?"

"And you must be Chat- I mean, Adrien's kwami," Alya said, peering at Plagg, who puffed up importantly - only to deflate a moment later. "All this magic stuff is so cute!"

"We really owe you both explanations," Marinette said, channeling Ladybug's purposefulness - faced with the situation, it was about all she could do to deal with it. "In fact, we owe you so much more besides that."

"We couldn't have managed all that we've done without you," Adrien chimed in, taking up her theme. "And we can't thank you enough for covering for us. You really-"

"Can you believe them?" Nino interjected with another laugh, slinging his arm around an ecstatically-beaming Alya. "No clue who she was until a few minutes ago, and now my dude is finishing his lady's sentences like it's nothing."

Both of them blushed; Marinette flushed a brighter shade of red as Alya regarded her with a conniving smile. "Pretty romantic, isn't it? How seamlessly they fit together, as if they were destined to be partners; like they've spent most of their lives pining after their long-lost soul m-"

Adrien and Marinette faced away from each other in mortification, making their so-called 'best friends' cackle even louder.

"Well, with all this madness, I nearly forgot that I have a blog to re-do," Alya said, finally returning to some fit state of composure. "Come on, Nino, I could use your help."

"What are you talking about? You know how to retrieve a deleted blog draft even better than I do, it's easy as- ow!" Nino rubbed the ribs Alya had just jabbed, comprehension dawning on his face. "Oh, yeah, sure! Shall we go now?"

"Yep." Alya gazed at their friends slyly, ignoring Marinette's pleading look. "We'll leave you two to talk among yourselves, you must have quite a lot to discuss. But we're holding you to those explanations later - and I still wanna see a transformation!"

"Play nicely, kids," Nino said, giving his indignant best friend an infuriating wink. "Don't do anything we wouldn't do!" With that, the pair sauntered off together, hand in hand.

Adrien and Marinette simply stood and watched them walk away for several long moments. Then Adrien nervously cleared his throat. "So, uh, I guess they're right, we should, um, probably talk. Do you want to stay here, or...?"

Trying to drown out a mind that was insistently screaming that it couldn't deal with all of this, Marinette took a deep breath. She was relieved to find that when she managed to summon up her voice, it didn't come out as a squeak. In fact, she almost sounded like Ladybug.

"Let's go somewhere away from prying eyes."

Adrien blinked at her in surprise; Marinette was amazed, and strangely comforted, to find that the gesture was instantly familiar to her. Looking across the park after Nino and Alya, who were leaning towards each other and whispering excitedly, he smiled his signature canary-eating grin. "Good plan."

It was then that they knew that they would both be okay, if only to spite - and with the support of - their best friends.

Bonus ending:

They ended up going back to the school. They knew the college was shut up for the weekend and practically deserted; they had a lot to discuss that they didn't want overheard.

Sitting on the front steps, they started off haltingly. Both of them were too shocked, and feeling too shy, to start by saying anything much. Gradually, that began to change. It was a relief to Adrien that his Lady wasn't angry at him for letting Nino find out; likewise, Marinette was amazed that he didn't seem at all disappointed that an ordinary girl like her was his Buginette. Things got easier from there, as they began swapping stories and sharing common experiences. The funny side of it finally started to dawn on them: how oblivious they had both been, while their friends had been so much savvier; how incredible it was that they had had the exact same glasses-thieving idea, with the exact same result; how, in the midst of the previous week's craziness, neither of them had taken the time to actually read the magazine that had caused all this in the first place, thus staving off a reveal of their own for a few extra days.

Soon, they were both reeling about with laughter, much like their friends had done. Then, as Marinette's cheek rested on his shoulder and Adrien's hand brush against hers, that reeling turned into leaning, their faces steadily moving closer, gazing into each other's eyes, their lips a mere breath apart-

"Is there an akuma?"

They jumped apart as this unexpected question came from behind them. They turned to find Ms Mendoleiev standing at the school gate, a bunch of keys in her hand, a stack of graded papers dropped on the ground near her feet.

"I'm sorry," she said; for the first time ever since they had been taught by her, she actually looked a little flustered. "I didn't mean to interrupt, I just stayed back to do some marking, and when I saw the pair of you here on the weekend, I assumed there must be an akuma. If there's no cause for distress, I'm glad - you two have already done more than enough for this city. I've never been so willing to let students out of class than I have been you pair! Of course I've had to report some of your truancies from this past week to admin - it would look suspicious if I didn't - but being as lenient as possible in that department is the least I can do for Paris' favourite heroes."

She paused, looking apologetically at their startled faces over the rims of her glasses. "I'm, uh, sorry for finding out. It was a complete accident; you see, I confiscated a magazine from one of my classes, and there were pictures in it of the pair of you with and without your masks, and I couldn't help but notice..."

Adrien leaned his head back against the wall with a groan. "We should have stolen her glasses as well."

Marinette, who had slumped forward low enough to drop her forehead onto her knees, only whimpered in reply.

Extra bonus ending:

Chat Noir crouched on the rooftop, concealed behind the base of a chimney. He stared across the road at the window of a large mansion, where a man's sharp profile stood out in stark relief. If he kept a careful surveillance, he might spy a chance to-

"Don't do it, Chaton."

Chat Noir looked up to find Ladybug perched atop the chimney, surveying him from her vantage point.

"Don't do what?" he asked, his innocent expression betrayed by his cheeky grin.

She gave him a withering look. "Don't do it," she repeated, "it won't work. Just look at what happened last time you stole a pair of glasses."

Chat grimaced. The incident from almost a week ago was still fresh in his mind; he was still getting used to the fact that Nino, Alya, and Ms Mendoleiev all knew who he was. And Marinette, of course. He couldn't exactly say he was sorry about it - though the situation before him now was entirely different.

"He said he was thinking of revising the perfume ad," he said, fidgeting on the spot; he was itching to leap across the street. "If he looks closely at that magazine-"

"If you take his glasses," Ladybug interjected, "he will just buy a new pair. Or design a whole new range of eye-wear, which would help him out, but not you." She sprung down from her perch, landing lightly beside him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. If he hasn't already noticed, he's not likely to notice something as slight as this."

Chat Noir slumped against the slope of the roof, knowing he was brooding but unable to resist doing it. "Perhaps I just want to believe that he might pay enough attention to me to notice this."

She turned his face towards her with a gentle hand, running her thumb over the edge of his mask and across his cheek. "I know for sure that he loves you in his own way, Adrien; he is your father, after all. He's just... not very demonstrative about it. And you know that Nino, Alya and I are always here, noticing what you do. You have us all watching over you, Minou, and you always make us proud."

He smiled at her words, catching her hand and pressing a kiss to it. "Thanks, Marinette. Would you like to watch me beat you to the Eiffel Tower?" he added, with a return of his trademark smirk.

Ladybug freed her hand; though her face was slightly flushed, it didn't stop her from giving him her customary bop on the nose. "If I recall rightly, last time you were a sight for sore eyes, and in a backward glance at that - you were trailing far behind me!"

He waggled his eyebrows playfully at her. "This time, I'll pass you in the blink of an eye!"

She gave him the competitive look he remembered seeing on Marinette when she had a game controller in her hand. "I'll believe it when I see it!" she scoffed, laughing as she swung off the roof.

He somersaulted after her with an exultant whoop. Win or lose, he knew that his prize would be the best view in all the world: the sight of his stunning Buginette, against the almost-equally-gorgeous backdrop of Paris' glittering skyline.

Gabriel Agreste didn't notice their departure. He didn't so much as glance at the opposite rooftop through the window of his home office. He was too busy gazing raptly at the magazine in front of him. Pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, he stared down at the open spread, turned a page, flipped it back again... and smiled thinly to himself.

He had been so blind. All along, the cat Miraculous had been so close within his grasp; and the ladybug Miraculous wasn't much further away...

Author's note: to be continued (not!) Sorry, a few of people have requested that the 'Book' chapter be expanded into a longer story, but I'd like to keep this as a series of one-shots. Besides, I really don't have anything to add to what I've already got here.

I wanted to play with the whole 'best friends knew all along' scenario. It was tricky, since Alya and Nino couldn't know who they were when they got akumatized, otherwise Papillion might have been able to find out through them. I've been chatting to other writers, and one pointed out that Alya mistook Chloe for Ladybug, despite presumably having already seen Ladybug rescue Chloe from Stoneheart. This was the only explanation I could come up with - to be fair, if I'd just discovered that someone close to me was a super-powered hero, I'd probably have a shock-addled brain-lapse as well!

This is nothing to do with anything, but just because I want to share: I looked up the other work that the French voice actors have previously done, and omigod - Anouck Hautbois voices the French version of Usagi in the new Sailor Moon series! She even says 'transformez moi' the exact same way as when she'd playing Marinette - I so want her to call Luna a 'chat noir' at some point! And Benjamin Bollen is the French voice of Tintin in the movie - there's a bit near the beginning where he says 'pas mal' exactly like Chat Noir does in the Kung Food episode! Wow, my mind was blown!

Also, for the record, Daredevil would have worked out who Ladybug and Chat Noir are, in a literal heartbeat. I'm a huge fan of the Mark Waid comics, couldn't resist putting that reference in!

Updates will be sporadic, as besides having other stories to manage, we recently had family issues, I've got looming deadlines at work, and I just started a second job. Please sit tight until I have the time to write more! ~ W.J.

Edit: sorry, I just accidentally posted Chapter 9 of my other Miraculous story in this one's place. I've fixed it now, apologies for the mistake!