At midnight, when my sisters were asleep and the household was in complete silence and darkness, I decided to go with Sadiq to the train station in St. Petersburg and say goodbye to him in person. During the coach ride to the city, we exchanged a few looks and our fingers intertwined over the seat, but we never said a word until we arrived at the station. There weren't as many people as they would be during the day or earlier in the night, but there were still a few passengers wandering in the terminal. I helped Sadiq with his luggage, when we were far away from the coachman and the people in the terminal, I approached Sadiq and whispered in his ear.

"I'm never going to forget what you did tonight"

And it seemed like I wouldn't be able to forget it for a long time since the pain in my backside hadn't subsided yet. He smirked at me and pecked my cheek sweetly, making me blush a hundred shades of red. I covered my blushing face with my ever-present scarf so the people wouldn't see or imagine what had made me blush so hard.

Soon, Sadiq's train departing for Istanbul was announced and I accompanied him to the platform. A couple people were boarding the huge train slowly. I was in awe. I had never seen a train from up close up until then, and this train was gigantic, like those ships that it was said that crossed the Atlantic Ocean to America. I was always awed at big things and Sadiq noticed it. He looked at me fondly and caressed my arm discretely, so no one would see.

"Have you never seen a train up close?"

I shook my head, still unable to tear my gaze off the train in front of me. Sadiq turned me around so I was facing him and put each hand on my arms, his gaze was firm and yet gentle.

"I probably won't see you for a long time, Vanya. I don't want you to forget me"

I was surprised by that statement and shook my head again, putting my hands over Sadiq's arms, which were still stretched towards me.

"I will never forget you, Sadiq"

He hugged me tightly and when the train whistled, he had already left the platform and me behind. The train left and I could see Sadiq's yellow scarf around his neck and his caramel skin through the foggy windows of the train. I could feel a tear running down my cheek, blushed by the cold. I turned around and entered the terminal building just when the train left my range of sight.

I returned to the house with the coachman at around one in the morning and sat on my bed for at least another hour as I though back of Sadiq and what I felt for him. I felt like I had written this more than one million times, but you have to understand, whoever is reading this in the future, that my mind was, at that moment, complete chaos. There was this really handsome man that had told me he loved me and there was also the weight of the General's suicide on my shoulders. Everything revolved around my head and I couldn't stop thinking after I finally fell asleep without even having realised that I had laid down on the bed, still dressed in the same clothes and covered with a thin blanket.

The morning after I awoke with the chirping of the birds, my head tilted to one side, looking out the window at the garden below. It was a beautiful sight, but there was something I was feeling that I couldn't quite understand. My mind kept repeating the time when Sadiq and I made love and I was feeling quite aroused. I closed my eyes and pictured Sadiq in front of me, looking down with those warm brown sparkling eyes that I was so infatuated with, caressing my soft cheek with his dark tan hand and putting two fingers on my mouth, telling me to suck them, to get them nice and wet for him. I teased my plump lips with the tip of my slender fingers and put them on my mouth, licking and sucking them the life out of them. I hummed at the taste of my own skin as I continued to put my fingers in and out of my mouth, coating them with saliva and thinking of the face Sadiq would be making, looking down at me with lust filled eyes as I sucked on his big fingers.

He would tell me whenever it was enough and I would remove them from my mouth while, with my other hand, underneath the soft blanket, lowered my pants enough to fully expose my backside. The tips of my wet fingers would circle my entrance as I hummed in pleasure for what was about to come and slid one of my slender fingers inside of me, arching my back a little at the invasive sensation. I pictured Sadiq, smirking as he entered me with his fingers, slowly at first and them pumping in and out relentlessly until he was stopped by something.

Coughing.

I slowly turned around and saw my sister Ekaterina, asleep in an individual sofa next to the bed and practically jumped and covered myself with the blanket, blushing scarlet as she shifted a little in her sleep. I pulled my pants up and buckled my belt making as little sounds as I could. Finally, the sun shining in her face awakened her. She rubbed her eyes and I felt a little droplet of sweat running down my forehead.

"G-Good morning, Katyusha"

She smiled at me and straightened up in the sofa, grasping each armrest.

"Good morning, Vanya"

She answered, still a little sleepy and with a warm voice.

"W-What are you doing here, in my bedroom?"

I decided to ask a little hesitant, I was almost going to ask her if she had seen or heard anything of the noises I had made while fingering myself shamelessly thinking of Sadiq in front of her, unknowingly.

"I didn't see you last night, so I didn't know how you were after you... said goodbye to Sadiq"

She looked a little uncomfortable, as she was looking from side to side and anywhere besides my face, which was tilted to the side, wondering what she meant by that short silence that had cut her sentence. I decided to let it go and sat straight on the bed, facing at her.

"I'm a little sad, but I'll be fine"

Ekaterina was about to speak again, surely to lecture me about my choices and how they would hurt me in this conservative society, but we were interrupted when my door opened loudly and Natasha appeared, with her hair dishevelled and still in her night clothes.

"Big brother! You are home! Come here"

She said in an awfully creepy tone before jumping towards me and trying to hug me. I screamed, got up from the bed and started to run, leaving Ekaterina to sigh and roll her eyes.