CHAPTER TWENTY

Hidden Behind Clouds

I love warm blankets.

That was the exact thought I had as I finally snuggled under the duvet after a shower. It had been an hour since I left Hanabusa earlier but it felt like a lifetime ago since I had been outside. Looking out the window right now, it was pitch black - even by my standards - but I could have swore everything felt all glow-like and light when I had been talking with him.

I ducked my head beneath the blankets and curled up into a ball. The moment my eyelids grew heavy I heard a sound against a window and I was ready to assume it was a branch until I remembered there were no trees around. Still, I decided to pretend it was a branch so that I could -

And the sound came again, but this time, it came in three distinct knocks. Knocks.

Of course I knew who it was. With a groan, I sit up. I wrapped the blanket around me and over my head as I threw my legs over the bed and walked towards the window. There he was. I was not surprised. Instead, I braced for a you look like the Virgin Mary comment as I pushed the window open, fighting against the wind. "Do I even need to ask what you want?" I asked tiredly as he slipped one leg in after another. He landed in my room silently and closed the window for me as I observed him beneath tired eyelids, both my hands keeping my blanket in place to cover my head and ears and neck and shoulders tightly.

"Did I wake you up?" he asked instead with that very same satisfied-looking grin.

"I was just about to sleep," I said. I went back to my bed and crawled to the corner, tucking my legs close to my body and draping the blanket once again completely over myself. "I just saw you, Hanabusa. Shouldn't you be in class?"

His nose wrinkled. "It was boring. There was just someone here with another experiment."

I didn't ask what experiment. Quite frankly I was too tired and tempted by sleep to care. "What can I do for you tonight?"

"Well there are plenty of things you could do to me."

"Oh my God," I said and let my face fall towards my knees. "Get out."

He laughed but my head shot up and I shushed him quickly. "Did you forget that the entire student body – human, anyway – is right next to us?"

He stared at me...and then nodded. "Right. Forgot."

"Hm," I simply said. He unbuttoned his vest but left it off, and there was something oddly fascinating about watching the way his hands moved so deftly as he loosened his tie. "So, what are you doing here? And don't say you are doing me or I swear I will never talk to you again."

He laughed at that, but quieter this time. "I'm not a pig," he said but his devilish smile said otherwise. "And note number one about relationships – things like this happen."

"Oh really now," I said unconvinced. I stared at him, waiting for him to continue and talk more about these notes of being in a relationship because I had no idea what I should be worried for. A lot of television did not quite prepare me on how to handle a somewhat bipolar, erratic but genius vampire.

Vampire.

Why wouldn't it sink in? Maybe I would have some sort of delayed reaction. Or perhaps I was as normal about it as Hanabusa argued. My mind went in circles, imagining all the possible ways people could have reacted as Hanabusa went on about something. Screaming hysterically and running away? It didn't seem like me. Fainting? No. Avoiding him? Maybe. But at this point, I think it was too late.

He was talking and his face betrayed arrogance k and all I could wonder about was that this sort of person was in my room - and I didn't mean vampire. I was referring to this talkative, arrogant, smug, condescending boy who loved the sound of his voice.

But he was also thoughtful, and curious, and smart and passionate. Maybe passionate wasn't the right word; volatile was more like it. And he was still talking. "...not that bad, and I'm sure I can get access to some of the equipment since I'm sure you'll be less taken to implanting clinical-trial viruses…"

This caught my attention. "What?"

"Well before all of this," he explained as he waved his arm around the room and my eyes followed his gesture up towards the star-lit ceilings, "don't you remember I told you I can work on the achromatopsia situation?"

I began feeling uncomfortable. "It's not a situation," I said, "it's...a life circumstance. It won't go away."

He frowned. Somehow he had ended up lying across my bed with his hands beneath his head. His eyes flickered up to me. "Well that's not an optimistic thing to say."

I sighed. It was hard to describe something you've always lived with - something that was the only way you can live. It wasn't like poverty, where you can imagine what it would be like to be well off. I can't research life with colour because no matter what, I would not be able to experience it.

Except that one time - that one time where something was vibrant and bright and so entirely different that it shook me. But it was hard to grab onto that memory and it was a faint image but I did remember how it felt, and what it was.

Hanabusa's eyes. "Well there was that one time," I said, not sure if I had ever told him before. With everything that was going on with the dramatic life of Aidou Hanabusa, I wouldn't be surprised if my little sight had been brought up. "I thought I saw something different when you were tutoring me."

He shot up and leaned close towards me. His eyes were bright but they were a lighter shade and nothing out of the ordinary. "What - why haven't you told me before?" he asked quickly as a grin spread across his face. He looked eager and excited, a reminiscent of a puppy.

I was taken back by his excitement. "Well, um," I said, trying to remember what had happened that day. "Well, it was when I still didn't quite know your name."

He narrowed at his eyes. "There was a time...when you didn't know my name?"

Seeing his strange, oddly disappointed reaction pulled up another sharp memory. I snapped. "Right! It was when my telescope was destroyed."

He stared at me, studying me for a moment. "I'll try to see what else had happened that day," he murmured to himself. He looked distracted and I simply stared at him because he was a whole other person when he was deep in thought. It was another face entirely, different than the face he had when he was talking earlier. "Ah, this may sound odd but do you remember what colour it was?"

"It was your eyes," I said and something about how cheesy that sounded made me cringe.

A smile tugged at his lips. "My eyes, hm?" He looked even more amused as if he one upped on me. "So blue."

"Blue," I echoed. "So I saw blue." For the first time ever in my life, I had seen something that was not a shade - a real colour. And it was blue. And I could not even remember it.

xx-x-xx

I left Akira in the dorms the next morning as I walked to school. I skipped on the red lenses more out of laziness than anything but kept the sunglasses on. I was tired after amusing Hanabusa's questions for an hour that had gone by faster than I had realized. I had fallen asleep quickly and soundly, but I did not want to wake up this morning. Tired eyes were not good surfaces for contacts. Face lowered into my scarf, my eyes barely opened, the whiteness of it all was still blinding. Everything was faded and blended into white, as it usually did during sunny winters. Still something felt off. Things felt empty. Blank. I stopped by the dining hall to grab a cup of coffee as I usually did – only to see it nearly empty.

Now it made sense. No wonder it was so quiet and sparse on the way to school: I was late. I couldn't quite remember when I woke up, or even when I went to sleep as a matter of fact. I sighed but could not be too bothered. I still took my time filling up my travel mug. Then I laboured up stairs into my homeroom class. I neither took out the thick, warm cardigan I was wearing nor had I removed my sunglasses as I made my way to my usual seat near on the fringes of one of the back rows.

People were staring at me.

And not because I was several minutes late – the teacher was still not here yet – but just...because. I pretended not to notice and kept my eyes away from curious ones as I took my seat. Setting the coffee down, I took off my cardigan and then placed my books on the table but there were still several eyes on me. "Yes?" I said to no one in particular. All eyes reverted but there was still that strange lingering feeling.

I tried to find a reason for the suspicion, but could come up with nothing. Maybe for the past couple days since the new semester started, I wasn't recognized and people didn't realize I was in their class? That was the only conclusion I could come up with.

Now that functions was behind me, and the new semester starting with some of my better courses - Japanese, English, physics and history.

I knew it was a bit of a cheat to take a course on a language I already knew but with my poor marks from the semester prior needed to be evened out. And it made sense. And it all had been going well for the first week and I thought that I may even enjoy my last several months here. I sat somewhere near the middle corner, dozing off and not paying any attention at all to the grammar lesson. But eventually, second period was over and all that was accomplished in that class and yet another book to borrow from the library to study from.

I had no qualms about spending my lunch hour in the expansive, quiet library where coffee awaited me. But...another odd thing happened.

It wasn't quiet. In fact, it was filled with students. Most of them usually went to the empty class rooms or the study hall if they wanted to work, the library was scarcely used as a meeting spot. I couldn't even find a seat - there were girls everywhere.

Odd.

There were only girls. And they weren't even there with books. They were talking. Several eyes glanced my way once again but I was already walking across the library to the English literature shelf to get my books.

I sighed. It wasn't there. I turned around to where the librarian's counter was directly behind me - and lo and behold, more girls lounging against the walls, some even by the other entrance next to the counter. Why was everyone crowding up - and what was so interesting about me today? I looked down at myself quickly. Shoes, check. Stockings, check. Skirt, check. Cardigan...well, not uniform but it was nothing to be stared at. Tugging the sleeves over my hand and balling up my fingers, I turned back to the shelf away from inquisitive eyes.

Just get the book, and leave, Kaede. Now or never. Keeping my eyes straight ahead I walk to the reception three steps away but felt like half a mile because of yet another pair of curious eyes. I expected to see the usual librarian, Okuizumi Eizaburo - your usual old, avid reader grandmotherly lady - but she wasn't there. Instead there was a younger woman, maybe middle-aged and with a stern frown on her face. She was clicking away at the computer, the lights reflected off her glasses. "Um," I say, trying to get her attention. She didn't look up. I stand there and wait.

After what felt like too long after wandering eyes and tapping fingers, she finally leaned back into her chair and looked at me. "Can I help you?" she said.

"I'm looking for a book," I told her as I handed her a slip of paper with the ISBN code. She frowned.

"It's on that shelf, second row from the top," she said as she pointed towards the one I had been earlier. It was actually helpful advice, a lot better than the usual shelf 12B which would make me count down each shelf. "The glossy blue book, with black print on the spine." She went back to her computer.

And I stared at her.

And somehow I forgot I was still standing there absorbing the fact that she told me it was the glossy blue book with black print until I remember that not only was this clear instruction, it was completely useless to me. I blink back to it and go to the bookshelf that was right in front of her.

I look at the second row. I squinted, trying to match the number with the tag on the spines but they were nothing more to me than lines. Whose idea was it to print out something so small? There were some books with distinguishable titles on the spine, but I could not for the life of me find the book.

Blue with black, she said. Black was dark. I needed to find a dark book, with one that…

I felt my the blood at my cheeks run warm. I felt like an idiot. This feeling did not happen often, but the accumulation of odd looks, unwanted attention, and constant intrusiveness of my colourblindness was getting to me.

"It's right there!" the library called out. Damn it, why was I in her direct line of sight? Why couldn't she just return to her computer and ignore me? I knew that she thought she was being helpful but please just stop.

More eyes turned my way. Whispers. Giggles.

Fantastic.

I didn't turn around but I felt my face heat up as people waited, watching me look for the goddamn poetry anthology book. "The blue one," the woman said again. "Navy."

I wanted to burn down the library, or maybe I just wanted to burn down myself. I was a well-adjusted teenager but someone constantly calling -

"To your left! Blue - navy, whichever - with the black text!"

I tried to calm down, slow my thoughts. Second row. Second row was right above my head. A glossy book -

"Can you not see it?" she asked much too loudly. A giggle became more grave, turning blatantly to laughter. I heard metal squeaking as she got up to help me and I was just about to snap when -

An arm was reaching past me, over me and taking out the book. I stay still.

"Can't reach it?"

And it was Hanabusa.

I was distinctly aware of the uproar of now girlish giggles and cries of Idol-sama! but I was even more aware of the sudden feeling of relief that washed over me. Not like a wave. More like a tsunami. I was finally able to breathe again, and my ears felt like it was not torched up. I closed my eyes and turned around to face him. "Thank you," I breathe.

He smiled, a smile without any ounce of his arrogance but a genuine one. A kind one. "A little bit short there," he said again as his thumb swept across my surely flushed cheeks. Shivers went down my spine and whether it had something to do with the end of the horrible incident or from his touch, I did not know. But I knew that I loved him. Or at least I loved that he pretended my height was the problem. I wanted to put that whole awkward, it's blue, it's blue! incident miles and miles behind me.

I reached out for the book but then he dropped his arm back down to his side and cocked his head towards the exit behind the librarian that had been shaking her head at me but now telling the girls to settle down.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to sound normal. "And why are you awake?"

His smile dropped and he touched his hair in a habit I knew meant that he didn't quite know how to respond. "Dorm president wanted me to collect some feedback for this experiment the Night Class was involved in."

I suddenly realized I was trapped between the bookshelf and he seemed to notice as well. He took a step back and sighed, his hand moving up to his neck and resting behind it as he looked away from me. Thin muscles around his jaw tensed as his eyes swept over the library. The girls were whispering to each other, clinging to each other but respect the space. His eyelids lowered slightly, and he looked almost apologetic. "Ah, sorry. I know that you don't like being stared at. I should leave."

"You should," I agreed quietly. I didn't particularly like being over analyzed, and the fading embarrassment still needed some time to be wiped clean from my memories.

He turned back to me, his eyes scanning my face like everyone else that were still there, watching. His mouth twitched and then he leaned in close, his mouth by my ear and he only had a chance to whisper six words because a crowd of girls snapped out of it and rushed towards him.

Meet me here at eight tomorrow.

This is late, but I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and a fantastic new years! To start off 2014, here is another chapter :) I am in the process of finishing up and editing the next chapter too so if I could finish before school starts, that would be mean update next week! If not...then a month...because exams are around the corner..sigh...

Thanks for reading!

Whoops - PS Forgot to mention, I'm going to go back and change this to Canadian school year schedule just because I realize there's a lot I want to include in the story that won't fit in two months. And I've screwed up dates with exams. Plus, the two-term school year starting in September and ending in late June works a lot better :) Hopefully that isn't a problem.