CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

A Scatter of Stars

"She's trying to kill me, I swear."

Hanabusa groaned as he laid his head on the desk. He was so tired that he could fall asleep right then and there but he still had one class after his break left that he didn't want to miss as to attract attention from Kaname or Ruka. Next to him in the empty class room sat Akatsuki. They were early to class — Akatsuki had snuck somewhere to sleep for seventy minutes, and Hanabusa had been with Kaede but it was a class they only shared with Rima and Senri so it didn't matter too much that the cousins weren't present. It was only the last class that really mattered.

Ten minutes before, Hanabusa had told his cousin everything. Everything. He was too tense inside and needed to tell someone all his frustrations and he trusted nobody more than Akatsuki. The vampire had listen with agitated sighs and the occasional shake of the head, but Hanabusa knew that he was not compromised. When he finally finished with the recent proclamation of his love in several different languages, and his half-joking attempt to get her in his bed, Akatsuki resigned and slumped down next to him.

"How did this even begin?" he first asked.

"You tell me! You're the one that's suppose to keep me out if trouble — which you failed." He didn't hate the fact that he loved her. Far from it. But he hated the fact that she wouldn't put him out of his misery and fully let herself fell what Hanabusa knew she was feeling. "Failed miserably."

"And you haven't done anything stupid, right?" he asked as his eyes skipped sideways to the blond vampire. Hanabusa gave him a hurt expression.

"Define stupid."

"Against the rules."

"We're doing something stupid right now, aren't we?"

"No, we're not. We're early," he argued half-heartedly. Akatsuki sighed. "Look, Hanabusa, you know that Uncle is going to be...unwelcoming to her. Do whatever you must now, get it over with, so you can move on."

"Do you think what my father —"

"You're the heir to the Aidou family," he reminded with a stern voice. "You know just as I do that you are without certain freedoms, and the wife of your complete choosing is one of them."

Hanabusa sighed. It wasn't as if he thought about marrying Kaede but he wasn't exactly thinking about ending things with her either. We planned to be together just until the end of the school year, and she will leave right after...If he could fly to France and stay there with her, he would. But that wasn't a possibility, not when Kaname was dead-set on staying here with Yuuki. Not for the first time, Hanabusa played with the idea of somehow devising a plan where the poor student can somehow get a scholarship in France that the weird headmaster father of hers would have to let her go thus making Kaname follow as well...

But no. Kaname would find out immediately. He always did when it concerned his precious disciplinary.

"I know," he admitted reluctantly. "What should I do?"

"What you should do, or what you would most likely do?" Akatsuki clarified. He received a withering look from his cousin. "Just let it run its course."

Hanabusa was just slightly hurt by his words, or rather the assumption that came with it. It was as if it was a known fact that Hanabusa would fail at the relationship. He hadn't been in a serious one before; none he was actually closely intimate with. Sure, there had been the physical intimacy, but those weren't serious. The serious ones were the ones forged with an alliance in mind — but those two ended as painstakingly as it began. Tedious months he had spent with them, and in a quarter of that same time frame, he had ended up here now with Kaede so much more emotionally invested than ever before.

"You said your father recognizes her?"

"As Cadence Leroy, not Misane Kaede," Hanabusa explained. He smiled at the memory of it: of Kaede in his city home and lying to his father with that flighty way of hers and going on and on about something she knew little to nothing about. "Well, whatever we decide, can we agree that it should be a secret?"

"From?" Akatsuki asked with a slight raise of his eyebrows.

"Everyone."

xxx

"Quiet boy," I whispered as I kept my hand Akira's giant mouth. He listened and silently padded next to me with his tail high up and wagging incessantly as I led him back to my room. I closed the door just as quietly, and then threw all my stuff on the floor before crawling on top of my bed. Akira waited patiently, still excited, before I patted the bed and he took the invitation happily as he lifted his forelegs and pushed himself on top. Trailing a circle before he curled up next to me, Akira sniffed at the floor as if to acknowledge that there was something different in my room.

Like, you know: my vision.

My eyes were dimming once again and I could only see the hints of the colour of tree trunks in Akira's fur. Brown, it was called. But dark brown, so close to the black that was familiar to me. I learned the names and colours of so many objects when I was still young and eager to learn but it was so different now that I could put the word to an actual image. "I can almost see you, boy," I said as my hands ruffled the mass of fur at his collar. Akira barked — and then he remembered he wasn't supposed to, but I laughed and kissed the side of his mouth. I settled back, using my dog as a pillow, as I stared up at the ceiling that glowed with the stars Hanabusa had put up there.

And painted the ceiling black to make it stand out.

After he bought me a telescope to replace the one that he didn't break.

A telescope we still use. Together. His, technically. But always more mine.

Come with me. To my room.

He had said it so casually and with a hint of a smile and yet when I heard it, a montage of skin on skin and sweat and hands ripping off clothing like in all those shows flashed before my eyes and made me a nervous mess.

I never in my wildest half-asleep in-class daydream imaginations had thought I would know someone like Hanabusa, let alone in a relationship with someone like him. Someone that was exceedingly smart (an understatement) and terribly arrogant and confusing.

And Bruce Wayne rich.

And a vampire.

I sighed. It was as if Akira felt my frustration because he made a soft noise and curled up even more, nuzzling his face against my shoulder.

I could still see Hanabusa in my mind, but the memory was fading: light hair (blond), pale skin, eyes that were bold yet light (blue) and although I had always been able to see him, I was seeing him so much more clear now to the point it was almost too distinct and vivid. And distracting.

I wasn't sure if I loved him, but whatever it was that I was feeling was consuming me. Literally. I couldn't stop thinking about it, I was devoured by this idea of being with Hanabusa. But what could we possibly do? The different species aside, I was leaving in several months. Although I was sure that he had the money to go to France — in fact, I was sure that he had the money to do weekly visits — anything but the immediate future with him seemed so far off. I couldn't see where we would be in a week, in a month, next season. A part of me wanted to spend summer nights with him outside, looking up at the stars and planets when the sky was clear and black. Another couldn't see him in anything outside the white uniform of Cross Academy.

I couldn't sleep; I was restless. Groaning, I got up and Akira's ears perked up and he looked at me but didn't move. "Do you need to go on a walk?" His face stopped, and if he was a human I was sure that he would've pulled his eyebrows together and pursued his lips like an old man. Rejecting me, Akira settled back and nestled down in the bed once again. I sighed.

"Fine, stay here. Don't say I didn't offer." No response. Another sigh.

I got up and didn't so much as change as I did put on socks and a light jacket. Quietly opening the door and scanning the hallway, I slipped out through a tiny opening even though there was no real reason to hide. The prefects didn't monitor the inside of the dorms, mostly just outside and around. Behind me, I heard Akira jumping out of bed and padding softly out behind me. "Come with me after all, hm?" He did not look impressed by my smugness.

I walked down the stairs, hands sliding on the railing as I made the descent. Everything was dark again, falling back into what was called monochrome. Something about it was warm and familiar but the cool tin in my pocket reminded me of the very immediate possibility of being able to see the startling colours all over again. The very confusing colours that blended everything together into something I couldn't make sense of.

I went through the back doors of the dormitory as if I was still the same girl that would go out at night to track down Venus or Orion but everything felt different now. It was as if Hanabusa and his tablets breathed a new life into the world and I wasn't sure what to do about it.

I was so sick of having the contacts just to let me go outside in the day. Sick of having contacts to allow me to see. Sometimes I just wanted to stay inside the dorm and not leave until night but now that this opportunity presented itself...I wasn't sure if I wanted to be out playing in the sunshine as emphasized by so many unaware adults during my childhood.

It wasn't that I didn't know dirt was brown and leaves were green — or orange, or red, or yellow, I would have to guess depending on season and become familiar with the shades of grey — but even as I recited it to my elementary teachers, I never understood the depth of it. Now I did, or had, and...

Where was I going with all these thoughts? I didn't know. Honestly, I didn't. I just knew where I was heading: and that was towards Hanabusa.

xxx

Class was dragging by, as it usually did. Beside Hanabusa, Akatsuki was leaning against the table behind him at a precarious angle. His arms were folded over his stomach, his eyes almost completely shut. The teacher was droning on about something but Hanabusa was only partially sure that it was about Japanese history. There could be people here he who lived through it, Hanabusa thought, sidetracked. His eyes wandered towards the window, and looked at the dark skies — but if he squinted, he could see it: the rising of the sun. There was a thin, thin line of violet over the horizon.

He thought about Kaede. She would, first of all, be unable to even see the line. And secondly, she wouldn't see that it was a deep purple unlike the black skies. But she could now. He didn't see any reason why she couldn't go the rest of her life being able to see colours. That is unless somehow it became less potent and she would need a stronger concentration...or just pureblood, not his slightly diluted blood of an aristocrat.

His fingers tapped against the table, causing Akatsuki to peek out through one eye. Realizing that it was just his cousin deep in frustrating thoughts, Akatsuki resigned back to his nap.

Across from him was Ruka, who was talking to Rima and he caught snippets of it.

"...the Valentine Ball..."

Suddenly he was thrown back to December. She hadn't gone to the winter ball, would she be going to this one? He wouldn't be surprised if she planned otherwise, but he couldn't see why not if she would be going with him.

But thinking about the winter ball reminded him of that night. It began so well. Thinking about the warmth of her room and about sleepy Kaede made him —

"You're smiling."

He looked up at Ruka who looked curious but not frustrated. He ignored her.

Because now he wasn't just thinking about that dark room, but what happened. He had hurt Kaede. He had assaulted and in a way, raped her. He stole her blood. He allowed her memory to be erased so that he could start fresh. He never thought about the incident again, but suddenly it was crashing all on him: his hand, pinning her down. His body on top of her, his legs trapping her so that she wouldn't be able to move. His other hand, shoving her face away to expose her neck as if she was some sort of...of...

The guilt was overwhelming and he could not breathe.

"Hanabusa?"

Her innocent curiosity turned to worry. It was there, just slightly hidden. Akatsuki opened his eyes and said his name but Hanabusa couldn't hear them.

He was overwhelmed with hate. Hatred of himself, disgust with himself, and guilt. Above it all, under it all, was the guilt.

xxx

Hanabusa left. He could not sit there, stifled, with the eyes on him. Slipping out of the class, he was stopped as Akatsuki's hand wrapped around his arm outside the hallway. "What's the matter?" his cousin asked, his eyebrows pulled together. Beneath it, his eyes like melted fire looked worried.

"There's something I have to do," Hanabusa simply said. He tried to sound carefree but he knew that his expression betrayed him. "I'll see you back in the room." He pulled his hand free and could not walk fast enough down that hallway until he stepped out into the courtyard. It was just after three in the morning, the February night was cool and the snow was melted around the school. He breathed deeply.

He heard a sound like a step but it was too fast to be a humans, too soft. A dog.

True to his thought the German Shepherd, the top of the dog's head alarmingly reaching Hanabusa's hand, raced towards him. Unsurprisingly, the dog was growling at him. Hanabusa made a face — Akira never did like him, but he was sure it was more because of the fact that he was a vampire than...well, anything else. "Hey," Hanabusa said awkwardly as he kept a respectful distance. He didn't want to take his eyes off the dog but he wanted even more to find Kaede. He chose the latter.

"Kaede?"

"Who's that?"

Hanabusa's mood dropped. He could recognize that tone anywhere. He knew that if he stepped past the dog to the other side of the courtyard, he was going to be in trouble —

"Hanabusa?"

And there was Kaede and his decision became much easier to make. He walked around the dog — teeth bared, tail up and paws digging on the ground — and the pathway opened up to the silver-haired disciplinary member and Kaede. But the moment he saw the two of them together, he was pulled back into that room and the vampire hunter throwing him off a pale and limp Kaede.

Something flickered in her eyes. Despite the fact that she was pressed against a pillar and glared at beneath lilac eyes, she looked worried. She made to move towards him but one glance from Zero made her stay. "What's wrong?" she asked anyway.

"Get back to class, Aidou," Zero said lowly instead. Akira reappeared and he looked even anger. The brown and black dog snarled and looked like it was ready to rip off Kiryuu's throat.

"Akira," she said in a warning tone. "Down, boy." It didn't change. "Akira, here," she repeated. "Sorry...we'll just be going now."

"I'll escort you," Kiryuu said but not before seeing Hanabusa's reaction. There was a threat of savagery, of being mauled in the way a guttural sound was growled from the dog. Finally looking like she had enough of it, Kaede moved away from Zero and past Hanabusa to her dog. She crouched down and hugged his neck, whispering at him to be quiet until she looked back up at Zero.

"He's just restless, but I promise I'll go back to the dorm once he's calmed down." She looked genuinely nervous. "I don't want to leave him in the kennel like this." Akira barked warningly, still tense, and still on Zero. I guess it hates him more than it hates me, Hanabusa thought. Zero stared at her for a moment as if he did not know what to do but the raw anger from the dog made it easy for him to decide.

"Whatever," he resigned and walked off after giving Hanabusa a warning glance.

The dog calmed down noticeably and rubbed its head against Kaede's shoulder affectionately, ignoring Hanabusa. It didn't whimper as much as it made a soothing, calm, almost a we're safe now tone. "I wonder what's the matter with him," she murmured to herself. She looked back at him. "You know, I was looking for you before he found me," she said as she nodded towards the direction Kiryuu left at.

He blinked. "You were?" he asked, relaxing ever so slightly. It brought him a strange sense of joy to know that she sought him out. And then he realized that this could be a bad thing. "What happened?" he asked as the dark image of Kaede slapping him and calling him a demon flashed before his eyes. Again she made a confused face and he knew that his face betrayed his thoughts.

She looked unsure of herself now as she ran her fingers through Akira's fur. "Nothing...happened exactly," she said slowly. She didn't continue for a moment before sighing. "No, never mind. I'm sorry." She ran her fingers through her dark hair with the slightest red undertones.

"No," he started, "tell me." He took a step closer to her, and Akira's head popped up warningly.

"I didn't know what I was going to say, I was sort of hoping it would just happen," she admitted with a sheepish but genuine smile. "You should get back to class, and I should go to sleep." She moved her hands in a wave but he stopped her and unthinkingly grabbed at it until he was holding her had.

She raised her eyebrow, pulling her hand away not in a disdainful way but in confusion. "Wait," Hanabusa said. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

The confusion grew. "School?" she said slowly as she looked around. It was the same expression she gave him early on in their relationship, when it was still a friendship. An expression that made him feel less than smart.

"The day after. The weekend."

She petted Akira. "A history assignment," she told him.

"So nothing important. Great." He closed the distance between them as he wondered how the strangeness even began until he remembered that it was his guilt that made her careful with him. "Come with me somewhere."

"Where?" she asked with a different sense of bewilderment. An excited one.

"A surprise."

She pursued her lips to the side. "Okay," she decided.

He was caught off guard. "Okay?" he echoed. "That's it? No comments about an alleged attempt to kidnap you and commit unspeakable crimes?"

She laughed at him. "What can I say? I trust you now."

She trusts me.

Hanabusa looked at her: messy hair, bright hazel eyes, languid smile, and pyjama bottoms.

Close enough.

That took a while. And sort of falling down from the climax but the next chapter will be...interesting :) Or so I hope.

Thanks for reading!