This chap is about 3,000 words. Thank you all reviewers, those that fav and follows. I hope this chap does not feel too rushed, but I really had to get another chap out now. It might be a little depressing, but it will brighten up again, and it is a bit necessary.

R&R! Enjoy!

Chapter 11:

Calithilel was unsure of how to feel in the new reality of hers. She was a lost queen. A queen! She really could not get used to the thought. Returning to the Greenwood and Thranduil's realm had been so strange. She had been riding beside the king on his insistence, yet barely any words had been exchanged on the way. Safely behind the walls of the realm she had dismounted and an unfamiliar elf had led her horse away and out again – probably to some stable, or so she assumed. Another elf made sure to lead her away somewhere else at once and she looked behind herself, lost, directly at Thranduil. He simply kept her gaze and then turned his head away from her.

What was that about? She briefly wondered.

Halfway Taenil met her and relieved she embraced the elleth. Startled the female stiffened and when she pulled away Taenil offered a small smile. "Let me lead you to your room," she said.

"Where am I to stay?" Calithilel wondered.

"In the royal chambers. You will be separated from the king as of now. However… Pardon me… There has been some rumors that he will marry you. After that you will stay with him once more."

She had no words. How did those words spread so far and fast? After all, there had not been a promise of marriage. Thranduil had said nothing and she was certainly not ready. Another small part of her was also angered that she was not to share his room, considering the last time he forced her to, would he not stay with her now?

Understanding. She understood that the situation had changed. They needed to get to know each other again, the kingdom had to learn the truth about her, and a new ceremony had to be, eventually.

Once in her quarters she took to exploring. She found Thranduil's rooms easily, including his study, or so she guessed with all the papers and the shelves, even the desk in the middle of the room. She also found what she guessed to be Legolas' room and she sat down on his bed, breathing in the familiar scent in the room. Silently scolding herself, she arose and went back to her bedroom. It was plain. A large bed in the middle of the room. A dresser against the wall and a closet for dresses. One door also connected the bathing room. She fell back on the bed, closed her eyes, then sighed loudly.

"I did not know you were this bored already."

He really knew how to startle her.

"I thought I would not see you for a while?" It was too big a question in her head and she briefly wondered if it was too bold.

"I had to take care of some matters. As for now I have open ears."

The hint of a smile. She smiled back at him softly. She had to admit that he had his charms. Faults and all. However, the smile faltered and she took to wondering what to make of them. They were truly a pair were they not?

"What are we going to do from here, Thranduil? What will become of me?" she asked and bit her lip.

He turned his head away and she was not able to read his expression, and if that was not enough, he was able to block her from him.

A little too angered maybe she started to speak once more, and with more of an annoyed tone she said, "Fine, ignore me. Close yourself up, it seems like it is what you do best!" The words came too fast and she closed her lips in horror. Her eyes widened and she regretted opening her mouth in the first place.

The familiar anger that shone in his eyes were not strange, but the hurt there… That was the worst of it. "We barely do know each other," he said calmly. "However, it seems that angering each other is quite easy, I suggest we start to try to understand one another." With that he left her.

Tears welled in her eyes and angrily she wiped them away. What a fool! She was such a fool. How could she ruin their newfound peace so easily? Obviously it did not take much. And as silver pearls adorned the floor she arose. She knew one thing she could do. Until Thranduil's forces were strengthened again, someone had to keep healing the forest and help the trees. She could do that. She just had to stop herself before it became too much of a strain on her. She had to focus and help. She had to contribute.

So the day after, she was dressed easily and made her way through the gates. She entered the healthy forest and started walking. She knew very well that it was a lot of ground to cover, but she would continue where she left off.

The days would continue like that. Nevertheless, wherever she went rumors followed her. It seemed that Thranduil had announced her coming back from the dead without her presence, and he was now busy with his advisors. Eventually she did not even catch a glimpse of him as she exited the gates to the realm. Her long strides took her farther into the forest and she started to miss more and more of Legolas. At least it felt like he understood her.

It started to become better and better and eventually she started meeting elves who dared venture some into the forest after she had been there. She greeted villagers and told stories to children after healing another part – truly getting acquainted with the people. She liked them, well, at least most of them. She started to enjoy her outings as the months passed and winter came. Soon snow would start falling and it would be no use healing the forest. Sometimes she took to practice with the guard on her skills. Mostly with her sword, but occasionally she would practice her archery as well. She had tucked her daggers safely away, knowing that skill would never fail her.

Missing Thranduil did not change, and the choice to keep their distance of each other was not really helping, neither did they talk, like she had truly hoped would happen. Days passed fast now that temporarily peace was there. In the end she took to visit Erebor. She told Thranduil's advisors she would stay with the dwarves until the snow started to melt and then she would be back again. Not knowing that her leaving could mean fatal consequences.

Meeting the dwarves had brought her so much joy, especially seeing Kíli and Tauriel together. It seemed that she had not been easy to accept, but many dwarves had started to accept Tauriel as Kíli's one and true mate. Calithilel did truly love seeing her friends again. Friends she could share her worries with. She stayed in a quiet part of the mountain. The mountain itself had been cleared out and was now up and functioning again. The city of Dale was once more, and it could truly feel like they were in for peace.

How wrong could they be. Orcs still existed, and several had been passing through the sick parts of Greenwood, managing to get to the town. At least the dwarves were kind enough to send some warriors. Kíli still saw it as honor to defend and with Tauriel by his side, they made the perfect killing team.

Calithilel too helped, and sometimes she wished, she just wished, that the war was over and done with. She knew that one day, yes, peace would find place, but for how long? If the elves truly tried to leave Middle-Earth… She shook her head, she still felt she had a lot to do and a lot of work ahead of her. Her place now, was in Greenwood, and it was time she proved that.

When the snow started melting, she was true to her words and left Erebor. Saying goodbye to Fíli and Kíli was especially hard this time, she had to endure, and so she did. Hugging Tauriel she wished her further luck. And this time, turning her back to the mountain she started walking with confidence towards Greenwood.

It did not take long before doubt filled her while she walked alongside the river. Healing this part of the forest as she went – the missing parts. She had taken an extra long way just to make some use of herself. Thoughts started filling her. Would Thranduil be furious with her? Would he be happy? Of course he won't be happy, she thought after. Did he hate her for leaving? Glad he was rid of her? She shook her head. Such thoughts did no good.

The gates opened in front of her and she expected at least some sort of welcome, however, the welcome she received was not what she had expected. She recognized some few of Thranduil's advisors. Two guards came forward and took one arm each. In reaction she started struggling. Anger filled her, hot and burning through her veins.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

Thranduil's voice was relief to her ears and she sought out his familiar figure and his clear eyes. His rage was nothing compared to hers.

One of the advisors took one step towards his king. "My lord Thranduil, this elleth is not welcome in this kingdom before we deem her the true queen of the Greenwood."

"What nonsense are you-"

Another one dared interrupt him. "She has to prove herself as a true queen. Of course it would also help if she had memories of her previous life by your side. The people are in doubt. While some has met this mystery queen in the forest, others have not seen her at all. She is but a ghost."

"Excuse me!" Calithilel yelled. "How dare you speak that way to your king?! I could care less how you see me, my past is my past indeed, but you all know that the Lady of the Light has adopted me as her daughter! You dare insult me? My mother? In front of your own king? Do not forget that he chooses whom he has to advise him. Over half the village can say they have met me, and I have never been cruel. Most of the guards have seen me training or I have sparred against one of them. The fact that I even have to protect myself from the likes of you, it is despicable." She was seething. Thranduil looked rather impressed and surprised. The guards faltered in their grip on her and she shook herself free from their grasps.

"As you can see, the lady speaks truly and I will not hesitate to find some new advisors. You are dismissed from your positions and may return to the village with your families."

Calithilel did not have time to hear or see what came next for what she felt lastly was a sword being pushed through her back. Then everything went black.

Once again she was in the healing wing. Though the wound had not been fatal, the damage was almost unrepairable. The chance that she would be able to carry children in the future was very slight and it had a greater impact on her than she dared to admit. Her tears simply would not stop falling after she awoke. She knew one of the healers had run out to find Thranduil and tell him the news, but also the bad news along with them. How could fate be so cruel? She had not seen it coming at all. A third advisor had stayed hidden in the shadows and when Thranduil had dismissed the two others, it seemed to have been the last drop. Nevertheless, such darkness in that elf had been a mystery in its own.

It proved in the end that the elf had been under very dark influence for a long time, tainting him so badly that he was on the verge to turn into an orc. It did not excuse him. His damage was done. He tried to prevent more happiness to come.

Thranduil came when her tears had dried out and only sobs wracked her. He sat down beside her and held her while she cried her despair. She felt like she was losing even if she was winning, and as the days went, it was clear that the fading process was awfully near. Only the king could save her.

Thranduil was not sure where to start. His anger over the accident so fresh and clear in his mind. His own despair mixed up with his one love. If that was not enough, he also had his regret. His regrets over how he had been treating her, especially after everything they had already been through, and that in such a short time. He tried to make light on the first time he saw her in the throne room, getting a small smile through her teary face. However, it soon faltered and she went back to staring straight ahead, not seeming to hear him. He tried to tell her about Legolas and when he had been younger. He thought it would help, but it only seemed to make it worse. Grimacing to himself he stood from her bed a month later. Knowing something had to be done. So he called on Lady Galadriel, hoping she would come for her daughter.

But the Lady of Light never came, though the calling had not been in vain, Celeborn came. Worry deep in his features and he went straight for his daughter. He could simply not let her fade.

So Thranduil watched as Celeborn dragged Calithilel out of bed. As he forced her to the training field. As he forced her to pick up a sword. He watched while Celeborn poked her with a wooden sword, waiting for a reaction. He spoke to her, scolded her, tried to comfort her.

Thranduil watched from afar; worry clear as he could not feel his mate. Their bond had been strong, but somehow she had managed to shut him out completely.

"Is this how you want Legolas to see you?!" Celeborn barked one morning. "Do you want him to lose another mother? Do you not think he has been through enough pain?" he taunted.

Shattered. That is how she seemed. "That's enough!" Thranduil yelled and stepped in between Celeborn and Calithilel. "It's already been another month. This is not any good. It is only damaging her further. Do you want to lose her this badly?"

Celeborn looked away. "I cannot bear to lose another daughter. Not so soon."

"You won't."

The frail voice was almost alien and the two males turned towards the purple haired female.

She started to collapse and Thranduil rushed forward to catch her in his arms. "I've been so stupid," she whispered.

"Shh, do not say such words. You had every natural reaction as an elleth who never carried. Some pulls through while others…"

"While others fade," she finished for him. He nodded against her hair. "Oh I'm so truly sorry! Of course I do not wish to leave any of you." Tears trailed down her cheeks again.

"Stop the tears, daughter. You may be at peace," Celeborn said from behind Thranduil, looking directly at her.

"It's so hard," she gritted out.

"Your mother told me before I left, that you will pull through, and had you watched in the mirror you might have seen a bit of your daughter yourself."

Calithilel and Thranduil gaped.

"Why hold it for so long?" Thranduil asked, almost more angered than before.

"To prove she could stay strong, but also that we cope differently."

"I-I w-wi-will have a daughter?" she stammered.

Celeborn nodded. "In time."

"Truly?" she breathed.

"You might feel damaged, and part of you is, but it is not impossible for you to carry a child."

It was hard for her to grasp such a truth, but also so relieving, nevertheless, it did not stop her pain over her actions and how she had treated everyone. After all, her father had come for her. Thranduil had been there for her, and she had been ignorant and stupid. Oh such guilt! Would it never stop?

"Stop beating yourself up over this," Thranduil whispered. "Be glad over happy news. It is proof that we somehow will work things out and start a life together."

Celeborn nodded with a smile.

That day the three of them shared the evening meal, and laughter was not far away. Calithilel kept looking at Thranduil as he seemed more relaxed and almost happy, and she understood then that she truly wanted to see more of that side of him. She wanted to be open with him, to share her worries. Even her love that kept blossoming. For when the flowers started to sprout and spring had come, Celeborn was leaving, but with a promise that he soon hoped for their wedding, and then, both him and Galadriel would attend.

The light air around them seemed to fade as the gates closed. She looked at Thranduil's grim expression and wanted to reach out to him. She was too uncertain. Noticing her feelings and what she wanted he fully turned towards her and held her hands. Elves passed them, staring curiously, most remembered to curtsy or bow as they went past, however, many gaped, forgetting themselves.

"We have a lot to sort out in this realm. A strange darkness is spreading and my forces are still not as they used to be, it can take years," he said, meeting her eyes.

"I will stay," she promised.

He smiled and a hand went to caress her cheek. "I know you will. Even so, I want to start building up our trust. I want to know the true you, as I am sure you want to know me, though I must admit it is hard to open up after so many years. Nevertheless, you are my love."

She leaned into him. "And you are mine," she whispered.

Tell me what you think ;)

- Moonlight Starlove