I spent two months living with Andreas in his villa in Cappadocia, time in which I grew accustomed to him spoiling me whenever he had the chance. He had confessed his love to me, but sadly I couldn't return his feelings, much to my dismay. He was a great person, and I felt really deflated about the fact that I couldn't love that wonderful man. Every day, we would go for a walk in the city or in his hot air balloon and he would tell me how much he loved me and how dear I was to him. I told him he was very dear to me too, but I didn't love him. He seemed depressed by that, but he still treated me as if I was the most special person in his life.
During our nights of passionate lovemaking, in which he would penetrate me carefully, as if I would break in half, I began to wonder if it was my incapacity to feel love for other man rather than something else. I didn't think it could be possible for me to have had so many partners and yet never felt anything more than deep fondness for any of them, even if they were the most wonderful people like Andreas or Sadiq. But for the moment, I let myself enjoy the pleasure that this wonderful man could bring me.
"I love you, Menekşe"
He whispered against my lips, one night, after he had released inside of me and I had done the same over both of our chests. I kissed his lips and caressed the side of his smooth face with my soft hand, with a fond smile on my lips. He looked down and smiled sadly, knowing that I could never, at least for the time being, tell him the same.
I still cherished that dream of becoming famous in Paris and one day, following a light breakfast under the gazebo at the garden, and when the servants were far away from us, in the kitchen inside the house, I decided to tell Andreas about my desire. I was fidgeting with the tea spoon in my hands and looking down at my warm tea, as I knew he would not take it lightly, but I couldn't keep it from him any longer. He seemed to notice what was going on through my head and put his hand over mine, looking into my eyes with worry written all over his face.
"Is something bothering you?"
"I want to go to Paris"
I decided to spill it out directly, with a blank look on my face. I didn't want to show much emotion at that moment. He pulled his hand back and sipped his tea and put the cup back on the saucer slowly. He cleared his throat, wiped his mouth with the napkin that rested on his lap and looked at me with a small smile on his face.
"I knew this day would come"
I could tell that he was sad, for the tone of his voice, and I felt terribly guilty for making me feel that way. I continued to fidget with the spoon, looking down at my hands. By then, my tea had cooled. He caressed my hand softly.
"If it makes you happy, then I'll be happy. I will support you in any way"
He said with a sincere smile on his face and I hugged him, still feeling a little guilty, but happy nonetheless, because I would have my dream of becoming a professional dancer, come true. He hugged me weakly.
"Thank you so much, Andreas... I'm sorry"
He pushed me away slightly and looked into my eyes. I felt mesmerized by the beauty of his bronze eyes, as I always had. His eyes were the most beautiful I had ever seen, they could not compare to the General's bright blue eyes or Sadiq's warm brown ones.
"Don't be. You are pursuing your dream and I will help in every step of the way"
A couple days later, we were saying goodbye at the train stati0n in Muşkara, and when no one was looking, Andreas stole a kiss from me and grabbed both of my hands, looking up into my eyes.
"Promise me you will write me everyday"
"I promise"
I hugged him and he helped me board the train with my suitcase. I blew him a kiss and went to look for my cabin. He had given me a thousand liras and I had already booked a room in the same hotel in Istanbul, where I arrived after two days of travelling. It was a little chilly outside, as it was late autumn. I was wearing the expensive black suit and cape Andreas had bought me as part of my wardrobe renewal.
"Room 321, please"
I was taken to my room, which was the same I had when I fist stayed at that hotel. I sat on the desk and began writing to my sister Ekaterina to ask how things were going back in Russia and for a wire transfer to buy my ticket to Paris. I had previously told her everything about my plans and she had had practically the same reaction as Andreas. She had told me that as long I was happy, she would not object, and she had also told me that Natasha had been feeling really depressed since I left, but had most recently found admiration in another boy she had met at the market one day and was slowly beginning to forget about me as a love interest. I had felt relieved about that.
There was a knock on the door and I left the half-written letter behind as I opened it, surprised when the Ambassador appeared in front of me. I pinched the bridge of the nose, already knowing where this was heading, but before he had time to speak, I spoke first.
"What are you doing here? How do you even know where I'm staying?!"
"I asked at the front desk to let me know if you ever came back to this hotel. I needed to explain everything to you"
"Couldn't you just write a letter?"
The Ambassador came in without me even motioning him to and sat down on the sofa, crossing his legs and looking up at me. I sighed and closed the door before sitting down on the bed, crossing my ankles.
"Look, what happened months ago was old siblings' rivalry, you just happened to be in the middle and I am sorry for that"
"I accept your apology"
I said simply, taking off my gloves and leaving them over one of the bedside tables. The Ambassador cleared his throat and seemed a little uncomfortable before inching forward, holding himself on his elbows.
"I am planning on having a ball at the Embassy and was hoping that you would consider being the entertainment"
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I hated to be called "entertainment", even if I were so.
"First of all, I would be glad to be part of the entertainment, as I'm not the entertainment of your ball"
"Ok, I'm sorry. You must bring an evening dress for the party and your dance outfit for the performance"
I nodded and escorted him out of my room once we were done talking. I finished writing the letter and sent it through the lobby staff.
The wire transfer arrived just when I had spent the last lira in booking another day for the hotel room and the night of the Embassy ball. I got dressed into the evening dress Andreas had bought for me and took a carriage to the Ambassador's Residence carrying my dance outfit in a black suit bag an hour before the party properly started and the guests started filling in, so I would have time to prepare for the performance.
When all the guests had arrived and were chattering and drinking in the ballroom and the orchestra was playing the "Valse Septembre", I had already applied my makeup and glitter and was changed into my purple dance outfit, which had been given to me by Sadiq, a fond memory I kept from him. When the orchestra finished playing, the couples who were dancing applauded.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present a talent which is no stranger to the dance halls of Istanbul, on his last performance in this magnificent city: Menekşe!"
The musicians began playing a slow Arabic song and I began to dance, I danced like I had never danced before because I wanted to give the people of Istanbul a good last impression of me. My dance was widely appreciated by the crowd, who cheered loudly when I was done and got down on my knees and held my veil in front of my face with my arms in three o'clock position.
After my performance ended, the party continued and I got to one of the guest bedrooms to change into my evening dress when someone came knocking on the door.
"Come in"
Angus came in and closed the door behind him. I was surprised to see him in the bedroom.
"What are you doing here?"
Angus cupped the back of my neck and pulled me down for a passionate kiss, which surprised me even more. I gasped and he took advantage of it to slip his tongue inside my mouth. When we finally parted, I was gasping for breath and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
"What was that for?"
"I missed you, Menekşe"
He tried to kiss me one more, but I pushed him away. It was not because I didn't want it, because I did, but because I was already leaving one lover behind to pursue my dream of triumphing in Paris, I didn't want to leave two.
"Allow me to show you my appreciation in the only way I know"
He laid me gently on the bed and began to kiss me slowly. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he continued to peck my lips and I his' until I felt his tongue caressing my closed rosy lips. I opened my mouth for him and he slid his tongue inside me. We began to tangle our tongues together. I felt a little flustered when he pressed down against me and I could feel his hard member on my thigh. When we broke the kiss, I gasped and pecked his lips once again before getting up. Angus got up from the bed and straightened his military uniform. We stood in awkward silence for a moment as I got changed into my evening dress behind the folding screen.
"You know, it's real lucky that winter is coming because I can't stand wearing my uniform in this heat"
He said, shifting his feet and looking down, smoothing the wrinkles of his kilt. I went over to the mirror to check my appearance and I was delighted.
"Certainly"
I said and held the door open for him, before he left, he put his hand on mine and looked up at me.
"Menekşe, I don't want you to forget me"
I smiled and caressed his hand.
"Don't worry, I won't"
I said and we both left the room. I enjoyed the party that night as if there was no tomorrow, I danced with a couple ladies they thought I was cute and drank champagne because I wanted to give the city that had seen me grow so much, a good farewell.