Chapter 16: The Ugly Truth

Lily suppressed her tears. "I need some air," she said before turning to the door and rushing outside. The cold air enveloped her, as she ran through the yard. She needed to get away from it all; it was all to real. She heard the voices of her friends shouting after her, but she didn't stop, didn't slow down. She knew they would catch up with her eventually but she didn't want to face them right now. She didn't want to face the bitter truth.

She stopped near a tree. Lily slid down the trunk and let the tears wash over her face. She couldn't do it anymore; she couldn't hold them back. The tears didn't stop and sobs racked her body. She closed her eyes willing it all to go away. Suddenly she felt a hand on her knee. "Lily, what's wrong?" It was Karen.

Lily opened her eyes and saw her friend bending down next to her looking concerned. "They're gone," Lily rasped. "They're gone."

"Lily, I don't understand," Karen said. "Who's gone?"

James was now kneeling on the other side of her. "Lily, what happened?" His eyes were full of concern. Sirius was standing at her feet looking very scared. Lily never cried.

"My...my parents...they're gone," she manged to get out.

"No, it can't be," Karen said. "They made a mistake." She grabbed the letter from Lily's hand and scanned over the contents.

Remus came up, panting. "What...what happened?" he asked out of breath.

"Not now, Moony," Sirius whispered.

"Lily...I'm so sorry," Karen said handing her back the letter.

Lily let her head fall back against the tree and closed her eyes. Let the grief consume her. She couldn't do this. They couldn't be gone. Her parents were always supposed to be there. They weren't supposed to die. They were supposed to live to see their grandchildren. They weren't supposed die because of Death Eaters. The Ministry was not supposed to send her a letter stating that her parents were dead. That they were targets of a Death Eater attack. It wasn't supposed to work like that.

Suddenly she felt arms her. "It's going to be ok," James whispered to her. "Shh."

Lily didn't have the strength to push him away. She just let him hold her. She buried her face in his chest because right now he was the only person who understood her. The only person who knew what it was like to loose the people who raised you. She clung tightly to him, wishing it all was a dream and that she could wake up in her house with her parents downstairs making pancakes.

"Come on let's go home," James said quietly into her ear. Lily barely nodded. James pulled her into a standing position before pulling out his wand, lifting her into his arms, and Apparating. They appeared in front of his house and he slowly carried her up the front porch while she sobbed. He carried her into the living room and laid her onto the couch.

"Hey," he said pushing back a piece of her hair. "Calm down. It's ok."

"No...no it's not," Lily said. "I...it's my fault."

"Don't say that," James told her. "It's not your fault. If you want to blame someone blame the Death Eaters."

"If...if...if I hadn't been a witch...this...this wouldn't have happened," she said. "If I had been normal this won't have happened."

"You think, that makes a difference?!" James nearly yelled. "Voldemort would have done it anyway."

Lily sobbed hopelessly. James' arms encircled her again. "Shh, everything is going to be ok," he said.

"How can everything be ok?" she asked. "How can everything be ok when my world is falling apart?"

"You just have to learn how to move on," James said. "You have to because you know it's what they would want you to do. You know that they won't want you to live your life in the past."

"But I can't."

"Yes, you can. You have to." Lily looked down, but James slipped his finger under chin forcing her to look him in the eyes. "You have to live. You have to live for your friends. They need you. Your sister may not need you, but they do. I need you."

Lily searched his eyes to make sure he was telling the truth. James looked at her intently never taking his eyes from hers. She knew he cared about her and that he had moved on, but way he was looking at her right now suggested much more than friendship. It was the way he used to look at her when they were together. Like her loved her, but he couldn't he was with Eliza now.

Just as she was about to reply the door opened. "Lily, I can't believe this happened," Karen said walking over to her. "Maybe they have the wrong Lily Evans."

"Yeah, I'm sure there's another Lily Evans somewhere out there in the wizarding world," Sirius said. Karen turned and glared at him.

"Do you want me to get you something?" Karen asked.

"No, Karen, I don't want anything," Lily said.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Remus said. "Your parents didn't deserve this."

Lily didn't know what to say to them. Here were her loving friends all trying to comfort her and she just wanted to yell at them. To be left alone in her room and cry herself to sleep. But she knew they just wanted to help her and make sure she was ok. That thought made her feel awful. She cried even harder thinking about it.

"Oh, Lily," Karen said, hugging her. "Shh, we're all here for you."

"Yeah, and we're not leaving," Sirius said. "No matter how much you complain, kick, and scream."

Lily have a watery laugh. James rolled his eyes. Lily wiped at her eyes pushing away every bad thought. She took a deep breath and swung her legs over the edge of the couch. "I'm going to bed," she mumbled.

"If you need anything let us know," James said.

"I'll be fine," Lily assured him before walking up the stairs.