I am not Stephanie Meyer, and therefore do not own Twilight.
Songs!
Kids - MGMT
Electric Feel - MGMT
. . . . . . . . . .
I groaned when I woke up, feeling like I'd been hit in the head with a bat. I squinted my eyes at the bright sunlight pouring over me, and felt the foreign couch that was under me.
This was not my house.
I sat up quickly, scanning the large bright room, the book cases, the wall of glass, the giant bed on the other side of the room…
And Bella, in her kitchen, wearing a pair of pale jeans and a dark violet blouse, her hair in a long braid. Yesterday's events flooded back to me at once, and she looked over at me, giving me a slightly awkward smile.
"Um, hey. I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't, the construction site in my brain did," I moaned, giving her a reassuring smile. She chuckled softly.
"Cover your ears then, because this is going to make it worse." I followed her advice before she turned on the blender. I noticed then the thick blanket that had been draped over me, and the fluffy purple pillow that I had been sleeping on. I couldn't help a sleepy grin from spreading over my face.
"Uh, where's your washroom?" I asked awkwardly, looking around. She pointed to her left, at the end of her kitchen next to the area her bed was in.
Fuck, I'd have to walk right past her, and I was at full mast right now.
Like she read my mind, she focused back on washing her hands very thoroughly. I dashed across the room quickly before going back out and joining her in her kitchen.
"You look like shit today, Hollywood," she said with a teasing grin. I laughed, moaning at the pain it shot through my head.
"I know. Sorry for passing out on your couch."
"Don't worry about it," she said easily, setting a big smoothie and some aspirin down in front of me. "Drink, you'll feel better."
I didn't argue, my mouth felt like sandpaper. I sat and watched her quietly while she puttered around her kitchen, cooking bacon, dicing up peppers and onions, grating cheese, and making a bunch of scrambled eggs. I was practically drooling watching her.
So was Zeus. It seemed like she was shooing him out of the kitchen every other minute, and he just kept coming back.
"What? Do you want some cheese?"
He barked at her.
"You know, I really shouldn't give you any. You're going to get fat. Maybe I should get a cat to keep you busy."
As soon as she said the word cat he let out a growl.
"Calm down, you know I'd never do that to you," she said, rolling her eyes at him. She cut another piece of cheese, and looked at him with a smile. He whined and started spinning around in circles.
"If you want some cheddar, give me a hug," she sang, setting the piece of cheese on top of her head and holding out her arms. The giant dog jumped up, taller than she was while standing on his hind legs, and easily grabbed the cheese off of her head before licking her face. Her pealing laughter filled the room.
The sound seemed to completely dissolve my hangover.
She pushed him away, wiping her face on her sleeve before washing her hands, and started putting the food on plates. She set one in front of me, then sat down on one of the stools next to me.
"Thanks, you didn't need to cook me breakfast."
"The salt and protein is good for the hang over."
"You don't look hung over at all."
She shrugged.
"When did you get up?"
"A few hours ago."
"Seriously? Do you even fucking sleep?"
She shrugged again, not really answering.
"So, what are your plans for the day?"
"I gotta stop by the gym and check in on things in a bit, then head into work around eight. What about you?"
"No plans. Would you like some company?"
She looked at me curiously, then sighed. "You don't need to feel obligated to hang out with me Hollywood."
"I don't feel obligated, I'm asking because I enjoy my time more when it's spent around you compared to anyone else."
"Ugh!"
"What?"
"Do you have some sort a secret cache of pick-up lines in your pocket that you're constantly tapping into? Where do you come up with this stuff?"
I laughed. "No, it's just the influence you have on me, my brain and mouth have difficulty communicating in your presence."
She laughed nervously, standing back up and bringing her plate over to the sink.
"So is that a yes?"
"Sure." She turned around to look at me. "I'll bring you by your place so you can get changed first," she said with a grin. She took my plate when I finished without a word, cleaning it quickly.
"You're a really good cook."
"Thanks. It was either learn, or live off of pizza with Emmett and Charlie. They can't boil water without burning it."
"Charlie?"
"Oh, uh… that was my dad."
"Oh… would it be okay if I asked what happened to him? You said you were seventeen when he passed?"
"Yeah, he was shot."
"What happened to you after? You would have still been in high school still, right?"
"No, after the accident, I didn't go back to school. We lived in a really small town, you know, one of those places where everyone knows everyone else's business? I couldn't deal with all the gossip, so I dropped out. I did correspondence instead, got my GED when I was fifteen. Emmett was older, I stayed with him after Charlie passed." She finished drying the plates, put them away, and then turned to face me. "You good to go?"
"Sure."
She walked over to the door and whistled, and Zeus came bounding over. She held up her hand in a stopping motion, and he sat down expectantly while watching her. She attached a leash to his collar, threw on a black leather coat, some black Harley Davidson boots and a pair of sunglasses, and gestured for me to walk out ahead of her.
I frowned watching her close all of the different locks on her heavy door before walking away.
What would it be like to live like this? She has one stalker, I have thousands, but her one is more dangerous to her than all of mine combined.
We rode the elevator down to a parking garage, which she also used a key to operate, and she held the door to her cabin open for Zeus to hop in. I slid in when she did, and the giant dog crawled onto my lap, pressing his face up against the window and licking the glass.
"Sorry, you're kind of in his spot," she said with a laugh. I scratched his ear and he licked my face before scratching at the window.
"I don't mind at all. What's he doing?"
"He wants you to open the window."
I grinned, and obliged, laughing as he hung his head outside of the truck with a very pleased expression.
"What band is this?" I asked, she was tapping along to the music on her steering wheel.
"MGMT."
"They're pretty good."
"I like them. This CD anyways, I had a second of theirs but I didn't care for it."
"What's your favourite track?"
"Five."
I skipped to that number, and smiled at the familiar beat. "I know this song."
She smiled, and pulled up in front of my building. "Just a heads up, there are two photographers outside of your building."
"Oh… what should I do?"
"Whatever you usually do?" She smirked. "Unless you want me to come in and hold your hand?"
Yes, but just because I want to touch you. "I mean, what if they get a picture of your truck?"
She adjusted her sunglasses. "My license plate isn't traceable to me. Otherwise I never would have gone with you to LA in it. I'm fine, I just feel kind of guilty dropping you off in a winkled suit so early in the day. You know what they'll think."
"I don't care about that."
"Okay, well hurry up then. We don't want to sit in here all day." I grinned, and watched her for a couple more seconds before walking out.
I didn't even hear the questions they shouted at me, I just pushed through while running inside. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, not bothering to shave, and got changed really quickly, putting on some jeans and a sweater, then booked it back downstairs, putting on my own sunglasses before running back to the truck.
"That didn't take long," she mused, pulling back out.
"Didn't want you to sit here all day," I teased. She rolled her eyes, and I leaned back as Zeus crawled back onto my lap and hung his head out the window, snapping at the air.
He was hot, and I managed to shift down the bench, sitting in between him and Bella in the middle. She laughed.
She parked her truck in Emmett's spot, and Zeus and I followed her in close to her heels.
"Ma'am, you can't bring-" The receptionist started, but Bella took off her sunglasses and glared at the older woman.
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry Ma'am, I didn't recognize you. Good morning. Would you like some coffee?"
"No thanks. You?" She looked over her shoulder at me.
I was too jittery already. "No thank you." Bella nodded, and I followed behind her as she took the stairs up to the third floor, nodded to another receptionist, and walked into what I assumed was Emmett's office.
There was an extra-long treadmill in the corner of the room that Zeus ran straight to, then started barking.
"Calm down, give me a second," she mumbled, turning on a computer. When it started lighting up she dashed over and started up the treadmill for him. Fuck, this dog always looked so damn happy. Then again, I would be too if I lived with Bella. I watched her click away at the computer with obvious familiarity, and voiced my curiosity.
"So, what are you doing?"
"Just making sure there aren't any important e-mails, checking some invoices, confirming delivery dates… It's all pretty boring."
"You know how to do all that stuff?"
She laughed. "Yeah."
"How?"
"I built this company, I can do anything that Emmett can here except bench three hundred pounds."
"I thought it was Emmett's company?"
"It is."
"I don't think I follow."
She sighed. "Emmett, he's had to give up a lot because of me, his football career being one of those things. I wanted him to do something he loved, and when we came here… I bought him this gym, and helped him get things started. It's his company, I don't own more than some shares, I just know it really well."
"How do you afford all this shit?" I blurted out. She looked up at me. "Sorry, I guess that's kind of rude. It's just… with your jobs…"
"I have a lot of hobbies that take in some extra cash," she said vaguely.
"Anything illegal?" I asked with a grin.
She bit her lip, and smiled. "I have a different definition of the term 'illegal' than most people," she hedged, getting up and slowing down the treadmill for Zeus. "I feel like I've told you two million things about me in the last day. Let's talk about you."
"What about me?"
"Well, what do you do all day?" I shifted in my seat, and she smiled at me. "Oh, shy now are you?"
"It's just… my life is really boring compared to yours."
"Edward Cullen, big screen movie star, I doubt your life is fucking boring. Come on, tell me." She leaned back in the big chair, propping her feet up on the desk.
"Okay, well… I usually have dinner at my parent's place twice a week. I hang out with Alice about every other day. She's like my best friend, as sad as that is."
"I don't think that's sad."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. Emmett's my best friend, and I wouldn't trade that for anything," she said in complete seriousness. I smiled, relaxing slightly.
"We'll, I've only been back two months. When I was in LA my life was completely different, busy, insanely so, but when I came back here… I kind of just let all of my old friends go. I hang out at home a lot, reading manuscripts, playing piano, watching TV, going to the gym. Keeping to myself a lot I guess, but it's kind of a nice change. I don't miss my old life."
"Why did you let your old friends go?"
"Well… I tried to reconnect with them when I moved back, but it always felt more like a press interview than hanging out with friends. It's like they don't see me as a person anymore, they just want to hear gossip about celebrities."
"Well, that blows."
"Yeah."
"Are you looking forward to starting your next movie?"
"I'm not sure to be honest, everything feels different now. It's an awesome script though."
"Do you like being an actor?"
I opened my mouth to say something, but when no words came out I closed it again. I looked up at her, and she watched me patiently. I felt like she was looking right into my damn soul, like she already knew, and that made it that much easier to finally say what I had been fearing to admit to anyone. This was who I was, if I didn't do it, who would I be then?
"I did, it was my dream for so long, hell I've been doing it for almost a decade now, but… everything is just so fake. It's fun sometimes, but I feel like most of the time, it just makes me feel empty almost. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, it does." She sat up, and leaned over the desk, her head cupped in her hands as her elbows rested on the desk. It puffed up her cheeks a bit, and I grinned, because she just looked fucking adorable. "I know it's none of my business, but if you don't enjoy it, you shouldn't waste your time with it. You can do anything in the world you want to. You only have one life, don't waste it on forcing yourself to do something you don't enjoy."
"I don't know what else I'd do. This had always been it."
"There's never been another profession you were interested in?"
"Apparently when I was four, I wanted to be a fire truck."
She laughed loudly, and Zeus got excited from the sound, jumping up and licking her face. "Hey! Down boy," she laughed, pushing him away and ruffling his fur. She looked at me for another long moment, then took her lap top out of her bag and sat down on the couch that was on the side of the room. "Come sit with me, I want to show you something."
I practically sprinted over, but Zeus wedged himself in between us so I couldn't get as close as I wanted to. She started it up and I watched closely as she went into her book marks menu. She pulled up a site, and handed the laptop to me.
"What's this?"
"It's a tool I use a lot when I have employees looking for another line of work. It's completely anonymous, but you click through and answer a bunch of random questions, and it gives you ideas of careers that might suit you, but more importantly, why they would suit you. You don't have to do it of course, but it might give you some insight as to what else is out there." She nudged me in the arm. "Or you know, you could just retire early and buy a boat. Travel the world. Isn't that what normal celebrities do?"
I laughed, and looked back down at the screen. I started clicking through the questions, and Bella got up, walked back over to the desk and started clicking away on Emmett's computer again.
It took almost two hours to go through the survey, but she told me not to rush and to take my time, so I did. It was actually kind of fun, or entertaining at least. I frowned when my results came up.
"What's wrong?" She caught my expression quickly.
"These results… they're really weird."
"How so?"
"Come look."
She walked back over, sitting down next to me, and I inconspicuously inhaled her strawberry scent as she leaned over to read.
"EMT, Doctor, musician, actor, mechanic, police officer… What did you do? These all seem pretty fucking disjointed. Though I bet your father would enjoy seeing those first two," she joked.
She was right.
"Mind if I check something?"
"Sure," I went to hand the laptop over to her, but she just reached over my lap and started scrolling where it was, her elbow brushing against my stomach.
"You're passion for having meaningful contributions would make the medical profession more spiritually fulfilling, but your desire for freedom and an artistic outlet is what pulls you towards the arts. You have some technical and problem solving qualities that might make you thrive in some sort of mechanical field." She pointed out all of these things on this statistical graph.
"Oh, hmm."
"But none of that matters."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, when I get people to do this, it's usually because I think they already know they want to do something, they just don't know that they know. But when they hear it from someone unbiased, like a computer, the answer is a little easier to see. Did any of these things jump out at you like that?"
"Well... they all do, kind of. There's stuff I like about each of them."
"Then do all of them."
I laughed. "Yeah, right."
"What's so funny about that?"
"No one can do all that."
"You're underestimating the power of human ambition Edward." I couldn't help smiling when she said my name. "You can do anything and everything that you want to; you just have to want it enough."
She was wrong. What I wanted more than anything in the world was to kiss her. But I couldn't. She wasn't ready for that, and I couldn't hurt her.
"You hungry? I could really go for a burger right now," she said, standing back up and stretching. The back of her shirt lifted up, and I could see the edges of her wings disappearing into her jeans.
Fuck, I couldn't move this laptop yet.
"Yeah sure, do you mind if I check something here first?"
"Sure, I'll be right back."
She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her, and I sighed while leaning back on the couch. I willed my body to relax, and closed the lap top, standing up just as she came back in.
"All good?"
"Yup. Let's go."
I followed her back down the stairs and out to her truck, sliding in next to Zeus after he did his business outside. We went through a drive-through, and I forced her to let me pay this time as we got a bunch of cheeseburgers, fries, and a couple milkshakes. We sat out in the grass while we ate, and we took turns tossing pieces of food to Zeus. He had an excellent catch.
I kept thinking about my next movie. I wasn't sure if I was excited or not anymore, but regardless, I had signed a contract and had to see it through. What really bothered me was the idea of going back to LA for filming.
And being away from her.
I didn't even want to leave for the casting party in two weeks, and I would barely be gone two days. How would I deal with four months?
Would it be weird for me to ask her to accompany me again? Would it be safe? I know she said she was good at hiding her face, and I trusted her judgement, but I felt selfish even asking. Fuck, I just really fucking liked hanging out with her though.
"What's on your mind? You look like you're having a pretty heated discussion with yourself," she asked curiously, popping a few fries into her mouth.
Fucking adorable. I couldn't leave without her.
"I have to go to LA again in a couple weeks. I was wondering if it would be weird to ask you to come again, since we're… like, friends now?"
She shrugged. "If it doesn't overlap with any of my other obligations, I don't mind. Someone needs to protect you from the masses," she said easily, and took a long pull from her drink. "Just because you know my name doesn't mean you're getting a discount though," she teased with a wink.
"Rose said you had done this sort of thing before right? With who?"
"Mostly just Rose herself, although I've helped out a few of her friends who were in a jam."
"Yeah, I've seen how protective you are with her. Is she in trouble or something?"
"She's just important to me." Her curt tone was an obvious signal to drop the subject, and I heeded the warning.
"Okay. So, I can bring you the information for the trip the next time I see you?" She nodded, and I dragged my hand through my hair nervously. "When will that be?"
I saw her try to hide her smile. "When would you like it to be?"
"Tomorrow." I didn't hesitate.
Her hand went to the back of her neck. "Sure, okay. I can come over before I head to the club if you want, say around five?"
"Sounds good."
. . . . . . . . . .
"You have to tighten them in a star formation to keep the pressure even," she instructed, leaning in close to me while I screwed the bolts back onto the wheel. After all five were on, I went back with the wrench and tightened them like she said.
"There."
"Now go over them with this wrench."
"Why?"
"It's a torque wrench, it tightens them to a specific weight."
"Neat." I took the giant wrench with a smile, and grinned up at her when I finished. "What else can we do?"
"Well, the other three wheels for starters," she mused.
"This seems to take a long time, how do they do this on racetracks?"
"Practice, Hollywood. You get faster with time."
"Let me see you do one."
"You sure your ego can handle it?" She teased.
"Try me."
She shook her head, rolled the next tire over to the rear one and set up her jack. She grabbed her wrenches, and looked over at me before starting.
She did it differently. She'd set up her wrench, and had to actually hop on it to loosen the bolts. She loosened each, then knelt down to unscrew each nut, shimmied off the tire, lined up her new one, screwed on the bolts, tightened them, then torqued them.
It took her three minutes.
"Shit."
She grinned. "You want to do the other two?"
"Yeah, I obviously need the practice," I mumbled, and she frowned.
"You don't have to do them Hollywood, I thought you wanted to learn this."
"I do, it's just a little embarrassing. I'm twenty-seven, I should have learned how to change a tire a long time ago."
"Well, better later than never," she said easily, taking out the jack and stacking the tires.
She was so damn easy to be around, now that she was letting me be around her. It had been an amazing two weeks. We saw each other almost every other day, and being with her was as easy as breathing. She might tease me a lot, but she never actually made fun of me. She was an excellent teacher.
She had taken it upon herself to teach me little things about the different fields that had interested me in that survey she had gotten me to take, to see if there was anything about them that I might actually enjoy. She had taught me some basic first aid, how to dress and compress wounds properly, how to do CPR and the Heimlich maneuver, and how to splint a broken bone properly.
It was a little weird, because I'd always been the type to get easily frustrated, especially when there was someone else telling me to do something, but not with her. She had a very soothing effect on me.
And I just loved listening to her talk.
We did other things too though. Went running together in central park with Zeus, ate together. I even took one of her spinning classes. I lost three fucking pounds that day and thought I was going to have a heart attack. Three people threw up in that class.
Apparently they kept coming back for more though. Fucking psychos.
I felt like I was living in a bit of a daze. Bella, being with her… I'd never felt as alive, complete, or fulfilled as I did when I was with her. It made the time I spent with her sort of surreal, and the time I spent without her downright boring.
"So what time does their flight get in at?" I asked, as we carried her tires over to her storage locker in the back of the parking garage.
"Ten-thirty. Are you still coming to dinner at their place tomorrow?"
"Of course. Seven, right?"
"We're eating at seven, you can come earlier if you want."
"What time are you heading over at?"
"Around four."
"Want to ride over together?"
She shifted slightly on her feet. This still wasn't easy for her, this friendship that we had. To be honest, it was weird for me too, because I've never had this sort of friendship with a woman before. But it was much harder for her. She still flinched away a lot if I got too close to her, but she was getting better. I was being patient though, even though it was killing me. I wanted so badly to sit with her like I had that night of the wedding, just to fucking touch her, but her feeling comfortable around me was much more important to me than giving into that craving.
"Okay. I'll send you a text before I head over."
We went back up to her apartment, and used her special orange soap and brushes to get all of the grease off of our hands. I was inspecting her book collection while she got changed, and didn't even hear her come up beside me. I jumped when she spoke.
"Find anything that interests you?"
"I don't know, you have your own fucking library," I teased, looking up at the high shelves. "How do you even get to the ones at the top, are they just decoration?"
My mouth popped open as she easily scaled her book shelf, paused at the top, plucked out a book, then climbed halfway back down before jumping off and landing easily on her feet. She grinned, and handed me the book.
"I think you might like that one, you should give it a go," she said, turning around and walking towards her kitchen. I chased after her.
"You could have fallen! You could break your neck from that height, what if the shelf fell over?"
"Calm down Drama Queen. Those shelves are sturdy as hell, Emmett built them himself and they're anchored heavily into the wall. You'd need a wrecking ball to take those things down."
I sighed, and dropped down onto one of her stools, taking the bottle of water that she handed me. She hopped up onto her counter, her legs swinging below her as she drank her water. She looked like she was going to say something, but every time she opened her mouth she closed it again quickly.
"What's up?"
She shook her head. "No, it's nothing," she said, hopping off of the counter and filling Zeus' bowl. He came barreling into the room, sending kibble all over the floor as he shoved his face into the bowl. She shook her head, and looked back up at me.
Yeah, I could see it. Something was bothering her, and she looked… shy almost?
Weird.
"Something's up, just say it Bella."
"No."
"Stop being such a girl," I said, knowing I was treading into dangerous territory. I was kind of hoping to get a bit of a rise out of her though, she talked more when she was pissed off.
It didn't work, she shifted uncomfortably, then opened her fridge and took out a bag of apples. She dropped the bag on the counter, took out a bowl, and started peeling.
"Whatever you're stressing out over, you're probably blowing it out of proportion in your mind," I said knowingly. "You'll feel better if you just say it, and you know I'm not going anywhere, so I don't see why you're being so nervous."
"How many girlfriends have you had?"
Fuck. I wasn't expecting that.
There was no right answer to that question. At that exact moment, I kind of wished I wasn't so... experienced.
But I couldn't take back the last ten years, and I sure as hell wasn't going to lie to her.
"I'm not sure, actually."
"That many?" She said with an amused grin.
Well, she wasn't looking at me in disgust, at least.
"It's just… There was nothing really worth remembering. I never really connected with any of the women I was with, and they never lasted long. Tanya was the longest relationship I had been in."
"How long?"
"Eight months."
She nodded, and handed me a slice of the apple I was eying in her hand.
She made all food look more appealing, just being next to it.
Apples tasted better when she peeled them.
"Does that… bother you?"
"No, not really. I was kind of expecting your answer to be honest. I just have trouble wrapping my mind around it."
I knew she had never dated any one before, and I knew why. She didn't know I knew though, and I knew that it was something she needed to say out loud to me.
"Why is that?"
"I can't see the appeal in being with someone you don't care for. Yeah, I know guys like sex and everything, but can it really be that enjoyable if you're not enjoying who you're doing it with?"
I tried to push away the nauseous pain that filled my stomach. She'd never dated, but she wasn't a virgin. And that wasn't by her choice. Of course she wouldn't have fucking enjoyed it.
I was going to kill that parasite myself for doing that to my woman. My Bella.
Oh, but I could show her just how enjoyable it could be… she didn't know it yet, but I knew if she experienced that, she'd be fucking hooked.
And I knew with her, it would be so different. So much better.
"It can be… empty. But it can be quite enjoyable too. The aspect of release, it's something that has to be experienced to be understood," I purred.
Her face flamed red. Fucking beautiful. It was a rare sight, seeing her blush or be embarrassed, but it was fucking moving.
"So, what are you making?"
She let out a breath I hadn't noticed her holding, relaxing slightly. "Apple crisp."
"What's that?"
"Stick around and you'll find out," she said easily. I grinned. I'd stay in her apartment for the rest of my life if I was given the option.
I had no desire to go home if she wasn't going to be there with me. It was easier to be at her place, there were never any photographers outside of her building. She always wore sunglasses when she came over to my house, well, when she went anywhere actually.
The apple thing was fucking delicious. It was like an apple pie without the crust, and I hated pie crust. There was this buttery, oat crumble baked on top.
I ate half the thing, but she didn't seem to mind. She actually seemed to enjoy feeding me, and I fucking loved it. If only she would wear an apron.
. . . . . . . . . .
"Hey Zeus! Gimme five!" I said, sliding into her truck when she pulled up in front of my building. The dog was a genius, and quickly lifted his paw to smack my hand before licking my face. "How was your day?"
"Amazing. I started up the new self-defence class today," she said with a bright smile. "Alice seemed to have a blast, that woman has some crazy energy."
"You have no idea, you should have seen her as a kid. Sometimes I would have to hide in my closet to take a nap, just to escape her wrath for a little while."
"Well I love it. It's too bad she's not into running, I bet she'd be really good at it."
"Yeah, she doesn't do sneakers though."
She laughed loudly. "Yeah, so I've learned. And she looked personally offended when I told her she had to do my class in socks."
"Why can't they wear shoes?"
"Because I'm trying to teach these woman how to protect themselves, not give each other concussions while learning new moves. It's a hazard I'm not willing to risk. Besides, they would damage the mats."
"Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't think about that."
She grinned, and I started combing through the bags of groceries at my feet.
"You're cooking tonight?" I asked excitedly.
"Yeah, it's been a while since Emmett's had a home cooked meal. Fuck, you're going to laugh when you see how tanned he is, looks like a burnt carrot," she said happily.
"Did you tell him about, you know…"
"About what?" She asked curiously.
Yeah, what was this exactly? I was afraid to say the word 'girlfriend,' because I'd probably never see her again. "That we've been hanging out."
"Um, no. I haven't."
I was a little hurt, but knew I probably shouldn't have been. "Why not?"
"Well, what should I have said?"
Yeah, I didn't quite know how to answer that either. "I don't know."
She nodded and… fuck, was that a frown?
Should I ask her to be my girlfriend? What if I scared her off?
"Are you embarrassed of me?"
"Why would you ask that?" she asked, glaring at me.
"I don't know, Do you not want your brother to know that we're… friends?"
"No, I don't care what Emmett thinks. I like hanging out with you. Em probably already knows that though." She glanced at me, and shifted in her seat while gripping tightly onto her steering wheel. Zeus growled, sensing her tension, and she relaxed when she reached over to scratch his ears. "I didn't say anything to Em, because it sounded weird in my head just randomly saying 'oh, by the way, I've been hanging out with Edward almost every day since you left.' What am I supposed to say? I'm not stupid enough to make any assumptions."
"Assumptions about what?"
"About whatever the fuck this is."
"You know how I feel about you Bella. That hasn't changed." She didn't say anything. "How do you feel about me?"
I held my breath.
"I… I like spending time with you. You're easy to be around. I'm comfortable around you I guess, but... it's still weird for me. I'm sorry." Her voice was tight, slightly panicked, and I quickly tried to backtrack before she freaked out.
This vulnerable side of her was something I hadn't been expecting when we first started spending time together. It was still rare, but came up occasionally when I pushed her a bit too far.
"Nothing to apologize for," I said easily. That was better than I expected, even if it wasn't the answer I hoped for. "I'm making progress at least. A month ago you probably would have just punched me if I did this." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, making her tense slightly. "You're still uncomfortable, I get it, but you're not hiding from me, which means everything. I know how hard this is for you, and I appreciate what we have right now."
She mumbled something along the lines of "Fucking Hallmark Card."
I started to get a little nervous when we pulled up to Emmett's building. I knew that his big brother radar would go off as soon as he saw me.
Sure enough, as soon as we walked in and he saw me carrying the grocery bags he shot me a suspicious glare.
I didn't hold it against him, I knew I'd be the same with Alice if we had gone through what they had.
"Edward, looks like you had good timing, getting here at the exact same time as my sister." Glare.
"I gave him a lift Emmett, stop trying to shoot lasers out of your eyes," she spat, punching him in the arm. He sighed, and followed her into the kitchen. I tiptoed after them, and set the bags on the counter. I felt myself relax slightly when Zeus came and sat beside me, leaning against my leg and putting a paw on my foot.
"Zeus, no," Bella said, shooting him a look. He moved his paw, and looked up at her with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth.
"What's wrong?" I asked, a little hurt.
"When he leans on you like that, it's an act of possessiveness, or dominance." She smiled at me. "He's basically saying you're his. If you let him think he's your Alpha, it will just get worse."
"Oh, uh, sorry."
"You didn't do anything wrong Hollywood," she said gently. "He likes you. That's a good thing. He just needs to know his place. Dog's like having rules, and knowing what their roles are. It makes it easier to feel fulfilled."
"Are you a dog trainer too?"
"No, I just love Cesar Milan."
I laughed loudly, leaning against the counter, and looked up to find Emmett watching us suspiciously. "So, how was the honeymoon?" I asked, trying to shift the attention away from myself. It worked.
"It was amazing! Awesome food, beautiful beaches, we had this little private villa that you could just walk out onto the beach from, but it had its own private pool too. We swam with dolphins!"
"Where's Rose?" Bella asked curiously, taking things out of the bags.
"She went to see her parents for a bit, said she was going to swing by the club for a minute on the way back. She should be back any time now. What are you making?" He asked excitedly.
"Lasagna," she said with a grin. He beamed, lifting her off the ground in a tight hug and kissing her cheek.
My fists clenched in jealousy.
"I missed you so much baby sis."
"I missed you too Em, now put me down. I need to make the dough." He chuckled, and put her back down on her feet.
"So, what did you do to keep busy while I was gone?" He was asking her, but was watching me.
"A lot of back and forth from the club and the gym, and hanging out with Edward and Alice."
"Since when do you call him Edward?" He spat.
She sighed. "Since the wedding. I told him about Victor."
Emmett's fists clenched at the sound of the name, shaking slightly in anger. "Why did you tell him that?"
"Because we're friends, and I wanted him to understand." She shot me an apologetic look, but I smiled at her reassuringly. I was happy that she was telling Emmett about this. I wanted him to know that I understood, and that I still wasn't going anywhere.
I wanted him to approve of me. He was the most important person in her life, so he was important to me too.
"Are you okay?" he asked her, his tone much more gentle as he watched her closely. She smiled at him.
"I'm good Emmett. You have nothing to worry about." He gave her another hug, and when he looked back over at me… I had trouble narrowing down the emotions in his face.
Worry, confusion, happiness and… relief?
He smiled at me, and I couldn't help grinning back.
I think that was him saying we were good.
"Do you need any help with anything?" Emmett asked her.
"Fuck off."
He laughed, and grabbed two beers out of the fridge, handing one to me.
"Darts?"
"Uh, yeah, sure."
We made our way across his large living room, and killed some time with his dart board.
Jasper and Alice arrived shortly after, followed closely by Rose. Jasper joined us in our game while the women sat with Bella in the kitchen and watched her work. I was grinning while listening to my sister tell Rose about the moves she learned the other morning in Bella's class. Rose was showing them pictures from her trip. Bella was just smiling quietly while she worked. She just seemed so… content.
And when I looked around, I realized that her entire life was in this room with her right now. She didn't let many people in, but the people she had chosen… they were all right here.
It put that tight feeling in my chest again. And like she felt my pain, she looked up at me in that exact second, and smiled at me.
The feeling dissolved just like that.
It was really nice, the six of us sitting around the table eating together. Whenever we hung out like this, it was usually at the club, so Bella never sat with us. I sat alone, and watched her from afar. She was right next to me now though, talking to me, smiling. It was amazing.
I thought it was anyways. The four others kept giving us strange looks. They were just going to have to get used to it though, I wasn't going anywhere.
. . . . . . . . . .
Hmm, so what do you think about this nicer side of Bella? She's trying, very hard.
And BTW lovelies, Protector is up if you want to take a look.
The MGMT album they were listening to today was Oracular Spectacular, just in case you were wondering!