Chapter 17: I Keep Coming Back to You

Lily stood looking into the mirror. She knew she looked pitiful. Her eyes were red and puffy; you could tell she had been crying for hours on end. Her hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions. She washed her face and took a quick shower. Afterward she brushed her hair out. Pulling it back in a ponytail, she did a simple charm on it to make sure it stayed in place. Her eyes were still red, but they didn't look as bad as before. She grabbed her knee-length black dress and slipped it on over her head. The sweetheart neckline barely showed any cleavage.

Today was the day of her parents' funeral. Her friends and family had been told that her parents were strangled to death by an intruder. Only Petunia, Vernon, and her wizarding friends knew what really happened. Lily dreaded seeing Petunia and Vernon. She knew Petunia would blame her and Vernon would give her dirty looks. Vernon's family would probably be there, too. They were awful people; just as awful as Vernon and Petunia. His parents at least didn't throw her dirty looks behind her back. His sister Marge, on the other hand, wasn't as discreet. She openly told everyone who would listen what she thought of Lily. She often said that Lily was a tramp, slut, or a bimbo.

Lily walked down the stairs and saw James, Karen, Sirius, and Remus were sitting in the living room waiting for her; Peter couldn't make it for some odd reason. "You ready to go?" James asked.

"As ready as I'll be," Lily said, forcing a smile.

"Remember, we'll all here for you," Karen said. "If you want me to punch your uptight sister for you, I understand."

Lily rolled her eyes. "So how are we getting there?" Sirius asked.

"We're going to Apparate a few blocks away into an alley then walk from there," Lily said.

"Sounds like a plan," he said.

"Alright, let's go," Karen said. They Apparated.

As they walked up the street toward the funeral home, Lily's mind was somewhere else. In a time when live was simple for her. When she didn't have to worry about war and death. Back when she and her sister were friends. It seemed like only yesterday, she had been drawing beside Petunia or playing with her at the park. Life had been so simple back then; how could it be so complicated now?

They stopped outside a white building with beautiful flowers in the front yard. Lily pushed the door open and walked inside. She was immediately enveloped in a hug. Lily hugged her sister tightly. Petunia was sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder. She patted Petunia's back while crying herself. Lily didn't care if her sister blamed her, right now, she needed her.

Karen pulled the others away to give Lily some time with her sister. "I miss them," Lily said.

"I know," Petunia replied. "I can't believe they're gone."

"Neither can I," Lily said. "It's like a dream."

"Yes, well, I should go talk to Vernon," Petunia said, back to her old self.

Lily nodded and walked over to friends. She sat down and waited as the serve started. "We are here to remember Elizabeth and Rupert Evans," the pastor said. "They were two wonderful people who had two lovely daughters. Elizabeth was a caring person and a loving mother. She could light the whole world with her smile. She was did her best to help those around her. Always giving to charities.

"Rupert was an amazing person and just as amazing father. He had a sense of humor, but knew just what to say when you were feeling down. He was just as giving as his wife. We will never forget the fond memories of Rupert and Elizabeth that we all share. They were a some of the most fun people to be around. They were able to effortlessly make everyone else have a good time. We offer our condolences to the daughters, other family members, and friends of the deceased. We will never forget them."

Lily stood in daze as they made their way of the church. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real. She felt a hand on her arm. "Lily, come on," Karen said quietly. "You can't stand in the middle of the aisle."

Lily nodded and followed Karen. Is this what James felt like when he lost his parents? It was awful! She couldn't take it. It seemed as if the whole room was pushing in on her. She couldn't breath. She couldn't do it. This couldn't be happening.

Lily ran quickly from the building. She didn't look back until an arm grabbed her wrist spinning her around. Strong arms wrapped themselves around her. "Shh, let it out, let it out," James whispered to her.

"Lily, we can go home if you want," Karen said. "If you don't feel-"

"No, I'm fine," Lily interrupted her. "I'm fine." She pushed away from James and took a deep breath then let it out.

"Let's go," she said. Karen nodded. They walked down the road to the alley they had been in and Apparated again.

Lily sat inside her old house. Her parent's home. It seemed wrong to be here when they were gone. She didn't know if she could keep her tea down. Everything tasted like dust to her. She felt the couch sink in as someone sat down next to her. "Hard to believe isn't it?" asked a male voice.

Lily turned her head. There next to her sat one of her childhood friends, Alec Smith. His deep blue eyes pierced into her green ones. His blonde hair sat perfectly on top of his head. "Alec?" Lily asked, not believing her eyes.

"I haven't you in forever, Lily," Alec replied. "I'm sorry it had to be a tragedy that brought us back together."

"I would rather not talk about that," Lily mumbled, looking at her feet.

"I understand," Alec said. "So how have you been?"

"Ok, I guess," Lily said

"Stupid question," Alec said. "So what do you do now?"

"You mean where do I work?" Lily said panicking. "Well...I'm free lancing right now. I don't really now what I want to do."

"I see," Alec said.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing interesting," he told her. "I'm a surgeon. At least, that's what I'm going to school to be."

"That's awesome," Lily said. "Where do you go to school?"

"In London," he replied.

"Ahem," someone said from behind them.

Lily swiveled around to see James standing behind them, glaring at Alec. "Evans, you wanna get some air?" he asked.

"Yeah, this room is pretty stuffy," Lily said standing up. "I'll see you later, Alec."

"Hopefully," he said standing as well. He pulled her into a hug. Lily hugged him briefly before letting go. As soon as she did, James grabbed her hand. Lily looked oddly for a moment before being pulled away. She found herself outside in the fresh air before she knew it. As soon as they were outside, James let go of her head.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lily said. "What was that about back there?"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about," James replied.

"James Potter, you know very well what I'm talking about!" Lily said indignantly.

James mumbled something under his breath. "What? Didn't catch that," Lily said.

"He was undressing you with his eyes!" James suddenly burst out.

"He was not!" she protested.

"Yes, he was," he replied.

"Whatever you say, Potter," she said. "It's not like you don't do it all the time."

"Yeah, well, I really don't need to," James said. "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

Lily glared at him before turning and storming down the block. She didn't care that they were in the middle of a muggle neighborhood. She didn't care that she could expose magic. She didn't care that someone might see her. She Apparated.

Lily tossed and turned in her bed that night. Sleep evaded her. She couldn't wrap her mind around why James had acted the way he had earlier. She couldn't take it anymore. She swung her legs over her bed and walked down the stairs. Quietly she entered the kitchen.

There, sitting at the end of the table, was what started this whole mess. James looked at her surprised. Lily sighed knowing she would have to face this sooner or later. "About earlier," Lily started.

"I'm sorry," James said. "I shouldn't have said anything, it wasn't my place."

"It's ok," Lily said. "You were right. Alec has always sort of had a crush on me."

"So we're good?" James asked.

"Yeah," Lily said.

"Why are you up so late?" he asked.

"I just came down to get something to eat," Lily said. "I couldn't get to sleep."

"I don't think food is going to help," James said.

"Probably not," she said, sitting down next to him. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Just thinking," James said.

"Hmm." Lily sat there in her own thoughts for a moment. She barely noticed James getting up and moving behind her chair until she felt hands on her shoulders. Lily jumped.

"You're tense," James told her. "You need to relax."

Lily sighed as James messaged her shoulders. All the knots seemed to melt away under his hands. "Why are you really up?" she asked.

James sighed. "My room is right next to Sirius'," he told her. "Karen and Sirius aren't very good at Silencing Charms so it can get pretty loud."

"Oh," Lily said blushing.

"Yeah," James replied nodding. He let go of her shoulders and moved to the counter. He started looking through the cabinets. Lily came up behind him and messaged his shoulders like he had done for her. After a while she let her hands fall and James turned around.

Lily stared into his eyes for a moment then kissed him. She pressed him up against the counter. Before she knew it, she was the one pressed against the counter. James grabbed her legs and sat her down on the counter. Lily let her tongue run through James' mouth. He pulled her as close as he could get her, like if her let her go she would vanish into thin air.

Lily let her hands slip under his shirt, before pulling it off. She held it in her hand as he kissed down her neck. "Not here," she manged to get out.

"Where?" he mumbled.

"Your room," she breathed.

James slipped his hands under her thighs and picked her up. Lily couldn't think about anything else as he carried her to his room. She didn't want to think about what she was doing. She didn't want to think about what would happen in the morning. She pushed it all to the back of her mind. All she cared about was right now. All her fears, all her worries disappeared when the door to James' room closed.

A/N: So what did you guys think? Let me know!