Chapter 18: Advice

Lily stirred in her sleep. She felt an arm tighten around her waist and a hard chest against her back. She sighed and turned over snuggling into it sleepily. Then she shot straight out of bed. "What's wrong?" James asked sleepily. He sat up slowly.

Lily was thankful she had put on one of James' shirts on last night. "What's wrong?! How can you say something like that?!" Lily shouted.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Don't play dumb," she replied. "You know what happened last night."

"Yeah, so?" he asked.

"James, you have a girlfriend!" Lily seethed.

"I would dump her for you," he said, reaching out to touch her cheek.

"Don't say stuff like that," Lily said, turning away from him.

"Why?"

"Because it's not right," Lily said. "I am not going to be the reason you break that girl's heart."

"I was going to break up with her anyway," James said, rolling his eyes. He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. Lily sighed in relief. Now all she had to do was get her clothes and get out. Maybe Dumbledore had another mission for her to go on. That was it. All she had to do was get away from James for a while and this feeling would go away.

She pulled the blankets off of her and got out of bed. Gathering up her clothes, she headed for the door. "Where do you think you're going?"

Lily turned around to see James leaning in the bathroom doorway in nothing, but his boxers. "Weren't thinking of running off, were you?" he asked.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, sighing.

"I wanna talk about this," he said.

"There's nothing to say," she replied.

"Yes, there is," James said walking toward her. He pressed her up against the door and kissed her roughly. Lily moaned into his lips. She couldn't help it. James always had that effect on her. No matter what she did she couldn't fight it. He was her drug and she was hooked on him.

She pushed herself up against him and licked his lips begging entrance. He parted his lips slightly. Just then a voice came from the other side of the door. "Prongs? Are you up?" Sirius.

"What?" James snapped, pulling away from Lily.

"You ok, mate?" Sirius asked. "You seemed a little upset last night."

"I'm fine," James growled, as he kissed down Lily's neck.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Positive."

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"No," James said, while Lily tried to catch her breath.

"Why?" Sirius asked confused.

"Because I'm. . . . .not in the mood for talking," James said.

"Right," he said. "I'll see you later, mate."

Lily pushed James away from her. "Please, let's just forget this ever happened," she begged.

"Lily, I can't forget," James said. "You don't how many times I've tried, but. . . .something always draws me back to you. Every time I try to move on and find a different girl I keep comparing her to you. It doesn't matter who she is or what she looks like. She'll never be you. She'll never be that stubborn redheaded Prefect who always called me toe-rag when we were in school. She'll never be the girl I fell for when I was 11. She'll never be enough."

"James. . . . .I-I need sometime to think this out," she said.

"Take all the time you need," James said. He put on a brave front, but Lily knew he was hurt. She slipped out of the door and hurried down the hall to her room. She quickly changed and went to the bathroom to shower.

As she was showering, she thought about what James said. Was he still in love with her? After all this time, it couldn't be, could it? She knew she still had feelings for him,but did they run that deep? She didn't want to believe James. She couldn't make herself believe that he wasn't in love with him, no matter how hard she tried. The kiss he gave he earlier still lingered on her lips. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't erase the memory. She couldn't make it leave her mind for 5 seconds.

Slowly she wrapped a towel around herself and walked out of the bathroom. Searching through her drawers, she pulled out a white shirt and a pair of jeans. As she pulled on her jeans, Lily looked up, expecting, hoping to see James, but it was Karen.

"Hey," she said. "How are you? You just took off yesterday."

"Yeah, I had a lot on my mind," Lily told her. "It was nothing."

"James was pretty mad," Karen said. "Did it have anything to do with him?"

"We had a little fight, that's all," Lily replied airily.

"In my experience, when you and James go at it, it's never a 'little' fight," Karen said.

"Some guy was, as James called it 'undressing me with his eyes' and we got mad at each other," she told her.

"That's it?" she asked.

"Yep," Lily said.

"Well if that. . . .What's this?" Karen asked, picking up James' shirt that Lily had laid down earlier.

"Nothing," Lily said, grabbing the shirt.

"Either more happened with James than you're telling me or you're sleeping with Sirius, which I highly doubt," Karen said.

Lily sighed and flopped down on the bed. "Tell me," Karen insisted.

"I couldn't sleep last night and went to the kitchen," Lily told her. "James was there, too. We started talking and I kissed him. He kissed me back and one thing lead to another."

"Basicly clothes came off," Karen said.

"Yeah," Lily said. "I can't do this anymore Karen! I can't pretend I feel nothing at all. I need to be near him. He's like a drug and I'm addicted to him. I can't get enough once I've started. What am I going to do?"

"You better make your move," Karen said, "and make it fast, before he really does move on to someone else and leaves you in the dust. You can't do this, Lily, you made it clear you wanted to be friends with him. You can't get back together with him then change your mind."

"I know," Lily said, now she was sure of what she wanted.

"Sirius?" James asked, walking into the living room.

"What's up, mate?" Sirius asked.

"It's Lily," James said. "I. . .well we. . . . .we slept together."

"Ok, I'm not seeing the problem," Sirius said.

"I think. . . .I think I still love her," James said.

"James, you gave Lily a chance," Sirius said. "It didn't work out; it's time to move on. All she has brought you is heartache. You can't dwell on the past. You have to move on. You have a perfectly good girl, right now. Don't let her go."

"You're probably right," James said.

A/N: Tell me what you think!