It struck me the wrong way. What did we need to talk about? I knew, but I didn't want to admit it I didn't want to talk I wanted all the problems to disappear. But they wouldn't I knew that there will always be something wrong. What happened to when I didn't give a rat's ass and I was still the girl that was a bad ass, with tattoos, and bleach blonde hair? Even my hair was changing back to the brown hair that was the innocent little girl, who had great friends, and a whole family.

"Um Ally, do you want to sit?" Jay asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I didn't say anything I just sat.

"Ally there's no easy way to say this, but I have to. And I'm just- just going to rip the band aid off," he rambled, I smiled because it reminded me of myself. I almost didn't hear the next thing he said, "Ally I'm . . . I'm a drug addict."

I didn't say anything, I should of. I should have said something, but instead I rested m head in my hands and rocked slowly. Drugs, what drugs? He wouldn't use them. He was just a good, happy person that always seems to . . . float on cloud nine. Then the pieces fell together. How when we would go out on dates his eyes were always glossy and he was always focusing on empty space. I called it too, I thought about it on our first date. Why did I doubt myself? Why does this shit always happen to me? I felt like curling up in a ball. We could fix this though. We could go back to how it was. I finally looked up to meet his gaze.

"How long?" I whispered.

"Since December," he responds. I rest my head back in my hands, its May now. May! Six months, god who am I even dating?

"If you want to know its cocaine," he informs, my head shoots up.

"Cocaine?" I ask.

"Yes."

"This couldn't get much worse."

"It could."

I look up at him and give him a very pissed off and confused look. He cringed and I saw a few tears slip down his cheeks.

"What Jay? What could it possibly be?"

"I'm cheating on you-"

"What?!" I yell, standing up. I could feel my blood boiling, "With whom?"

"With Kimberley."

"Who the fuck is-," then I remembered the slut at the parlor last month. The one that was all touchy- feely with him.

I let out a shaky breath, "Oh," I was shaking, "Kimberly."

His eyes widen and he backed up, "What are you scared? Are you scared that I'm not screaming? It's always quiet before a storm. So let get this straight Jay. Not only have you been a druggie the whole time we have been dating and you've also been cheating on me for what a month?"

He didn't say anything, this pissed me off. I felt my hand close around something on the coffee table and I threw it as hard as I could at his head. He ducked, and the object hit my wall causing yet another hole, I clenched my fists, "Why don't you answer me? You no good, lying piece of shit! Are you scared? Good, cause you fucked with the wrong girl!"

"I'm so sorry Ally please forgive me," he pleaded in a shaky voice, but we both knew that I was far gone from forgiving.

"Maybe its best if you forgive and forget then you will be happy," he pleaded.

I shot death glares at him; those very words are what he used when I was debating whether or not to forgive Austin. Now he uses it for this, these two completely different situations.

"Get. Out. Now," I whisper.

He doesn't say anything, he gets out quickly. He was smart not to stay longer then he did. I stood rigid in place for a long time, or what felt like a long time. I walked into my kitchen on shaky legs and tore through cabinets looking for any sort of alcohol. I found a bottle of vodka and drained two glasses worth. I could walk better but as good as a drunk could walk. I made my way to my bedroom, I went to the bedside table and pulled the drawer out and dumped the contents out. I spread the out and pulled the pack of cigarettes out and lit one with a match I found in the contents of my drawer. The cigarette numbed down the biting feeling that was making its way up to my throat. I swung back the vodka and swallowed as much I could before the burning became too much.

I slid down to the floor, I shook violently, but no tears would come. That's when the anxiety attack struck. I couldn't breathe, my stomach was ripping apart, and my mind was going blank. With some of the strength I had left, I placed the still burning cigarette on the ash tray that I shoved under my bed when I quit.

The bottle long was forgotten, was probably spilling all over the floor. I didn't have the strength to pull myself up to the bed. So I just curled into a ball on the floor and hyperventilated. Eventually, I passed out, but my pain didn't end there. Nightmare after nightmare, from being alone in a dark room covered with figure filled mirrors, to screaming people in a burning building.

I woke up in cold sweat, my arms and legs covered in goose bumps. My head was pounding, I couldn't recall the night. But it came rushing back in a tidal wave. My stomach flipped and I scurried to the bathroom, I just made it to the toilet just as my stomach spilled everything I ate the night before. It torturous, I hate throwing up. But I felt sick to my stomach, when it was finally over. I wiped my mouth and just cried. I don't know how long I cried for, it was a long time. I got up eventually, and took a shower. I cried in the shower too, fucking Kimberley. I wanted to ring her neck but I rather just wanted to cry.

I got out and pulled on a pair of leggings and an oversized pull over. I slipped on some converse and made some coffee and took a painkiller, I didn't bother to look at the brand. I searched the room for my phone, which I found on the floor, smashed. Apparently that's what I threw at the wall. I sighed, I check if it turns on, it turns on, I sigh then put it in a plastic bag. I got my bag and headed to the payphone at the end of the hall. I put a quarter in and it fell through and landed in the change back slot, I sighed with frustration. I turned around; there was a middle aged man behind me looking at me with a pitiful look.

"Can I help you?" he asks.

"Do you know if this payphone works?"

"No, they turned it off last night."

I clenched the phone in my hand and beat it against the dial pad. It fell through and I dropped it before I broke something else.

"Do you need to borrow a phone?" the man asks, with a shocked expression. I don't trust myself to speak so I just nod and he hands me his phone.

I dial Austin's number and wait for three rings before he picks up.

"Hello?"

"It's Ally."

"Hey, what's up?" He knew something was wrong.

"My house in twenty minutes, I don't care if you get a speeding ticket, get here in twenty minutes. Oh and bring a phone. I'm D-12"

"Ok sure."

I hang up and hand the guy his phone. He stares at me, with a weird look that rubs me the wrong way.

"What? Take a picture it will last longer."

He just keeps staring and I flip him off and storm back to my apartment, before I go in, I realize that I have twenty minutes, I go down the stairs and head over to the coffee shop and get some breakfast and then go back to the apartment with five minutes to spare. I go back to my room and clean up my bed and wipe up the vodka off the hardwood. I had a full length mirror in the corner of my room so when I passed by it, I stopped in my tracks. I looked like shit, my eyes were sunken in dark bags were under them. My skin looked worst, I was pasty and pale. I felt as bad as I looked. The door bell pulled me from my thoughts. I sighed and dropped the bottle into the trash can then made my way to the front door. Austin stood there looking around; it took me a few seconds to realize that this was the first time he has ever been to my apartment. He looked at me wide eyed, "Ally, are you okay?"

"Ya, I'm fine. Come in, don't expect anything amazing," I sighed and pulled the door and he walked in.

He looked around nodding, better than he expected. It was true; my apartment was nicer than the apartments in the building. He looked over at the kitchen and saw the pancakes that I got and the coffee. He squealed and ran over and admittedly started consuming them. I laughed then joined him, I started eating my bagel. I may have been super sad and mad, but I was still starving. I finished, and wiped my mouth. I excused myself and wet to the bathroom and cleaned up. I did my hair in a bun, and did my make-up, it didn't take me long. I walked back out and resumed my place behind the counter, I sipped my coffee. He watched me.

"Did you bring the phone?"

He nodded and pulled out a phone. I laughed and took it from him.

"I remember this phone. You still have this," I turned it over and looked at Austin's phone; he used it for so long. He never wanted to get a new one and finally got him to buy a new one. I knew he secretly kept it but not this long. The old beat up phone still had the stickers and the yellow case. I didn't know the exact name but it was very old, but it would work.

"Can I ask what happened to your phone?"

I chuckled and opened the drawer that I had put the broken phone in. I placed it between us. An amused smile showed on his face when he picked it up, he turned it over the back and saw how badly broken the screen was.

"What happened?"

I didn't say anything, I pointed to the wall behind where I had thrown it. He followed my hand and saw the hole. His expression became serious.

"What happened last night?" he asked.

I shook my head and slide down to the floor and leaned against the cabinets. He got up and walked around the counter to sit with me. He sat as close as possible, he was warm. He was always warm, he was safe. I let my mind wander to how perfectly we fit together. How his hair was always perfect. Today he had it slightly hidden under a ball cap, he had it on backwards. He wore a simple white v-neck and a pair of faded blue jeans and converse.

"Its Jay," I said simply, but he looked at me. I knew he had ideas, one of them was probably right.

"What about Jay?"

I told him everything, about when I saw him at the parlor with that girl, and how he had been cheating on me for a month and he is a drug addict, I saw how mad he got, and he looked like he was ready to kill Jay.

"-and then he gives this advice that he used when I was debating whether or no to forgive you! And he still . . . he still has my fucking key!"

A wicked grin formed on Austin's face, he leaned over.

"That's means we have to get it."

I understood what he meant, I wasn't going to say no. he was the first to get up, he offered me his hand.

"My lady," he smirked.

I took his hand and stood. He let go of it and then headed for the door, I tucked the phone into my jacket pocket and followed behind him. We walked side by side to the parlor. Jay had the door closed, Austin threw it open and we walked into together. Jay's head snapped up, he was sitting at the counter, reading the paper. His eyes fell on me first then at the buff, six foot three inch next to me. He stood up and stood five feet from me and Austin. Jay swallowed, shifted from one foot to another.

"Why are you here? Want to tell me you were screwing Austin while we were together? I'm lucky and you're a slut." he asked like he was so soupier. I clenched my fist from not walking over there are punching him, but I'm not Austin. In a split second, Austin is across the room and has Jay's shirt clenched in his fists, and shoved him against the wall. I could see the pure horror on Jay's face; I am positive that I'm smirking. I walk across the room, I stand on the side of Austin and Jay.

"Where's Ally's fucking key you piece of shit?" Austin growls.

"It's in the the –the," he starts stuttering.

Austin clearly pissed off takes a few steps back, then slams him into the wall.

"Where?"

"In the office, top right drawer," Jay gasps.

I make quick eye contact with Austin, he nods and I head to the back. The office door is open, I see Kimberley lounging in Jay's chair. My fist was still clenched, she looks up and laughs.

"Who let you in?" she asks, standing up she got in my face yet again. Her mistake.

I pushed her then punched her square in the nose, I heard her cry out and I walked past her.

I open the top right drawer and there lays my key along with a small bag of cocaine. I grab both of them and the picture of use on the desk. I put my key in my pocket, then grab a stack of files labeled important, payment orders. I drop the picture frame, the cocaine and the files in the trash can. There's a box of matches lying in the top right drawer as well, I light a match and drop in the trash. It instantly ignites; I give her a smug smile. She's clutching her very bloody and broken nose.

"Who's the slut now?" I walk out, smirking.

Austin is cussing out Jay when I walk back in, Jay is trembling. Austin sees me and drops him and we start to walk to the door when he had to pipe up.

"You're sure a lot of talk and not a lot of action," Austin turns rigid; he looks at me for permission. I shrug and we both turn, Jay is leaning up against the wall, breathing heavily. Austin stalks toward him and punches him, hard. Jay crumbles to the floor, crying and clutching his face.

"Oh Jay, you might want to go put out the fire in your office before the alarm goes off," and like on cue it goes off, I shrug, "Too late."

We walk out laughing and nudging each other with our shoulders, the sidewalk is somewhat empty. We quickly make our way down the street, we lean against an ally wall. Austin gazes at my hand and sees my spilt knuckles.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who punched someone," he states then takes my hand, his gaze burns into mine. He lifts my hand and kisses each spilt knuckle. I blush, I don't dare break his gaze. He lowers my hand, I raise his hand and do exactly what he did. His eyes setting me ablaze.

I lower his hand, but I don't pull it away.

"Can you go to my father's wedding with me?" I ask suddenly.

"Ya okay," I sigh in relief.

"Can you come to Sonic Boom with me?"

"Let's go."

I don't let go of his hand, we walk to his car which is parked in the parking lot behind my house. We get in and Austin hands me a bottle of water and a first aid kit, I open the door and pour the water over my knuckles and wrapped a bandage around each one. He does the same, then he starts the car and head to the strip mall.

It's busy as always, the crowds flowing through. It's almost like the club. I lead Austin though the crowd and make it to the Sonic Boom. I don't get my hopes up that he will be there, but I have to try. I walk in and a bell chimes, signaling my arrival. A middle aged woman is at the counter. My stomach drop, and I know who she is.

"Hello, how may I help you?" she asks with a cheery smile, bitch.

"Is Lester here?" Austin asks he could tell I wouldn't be able to talk.

"Why yes he is, can I ask why you would need to see him?"

"No, you can't, he knows us, thank you," Austin's say and leads me upstairs.

Sure enough, Lester is in the office off of the practice room. He looks up and gazes at us through his glasses.

"Ally? Austin?"

I nod and he stands but doesn't move.

"Ally, what happened to your hair?"

"Stuff, I'm here to confirm my invitation to the wedding."

"Oh, honey you could have just called. It was really unnecessary to come down here, I have to work."

Pain was the first thing I felt, and then it was anger. Blood boiling anger.

"Aren't you happy to see me, Lester? What it been three years, I would think you would be happy to see me."

He looked surprised, "Of course I did, and it's just that-"

"Whatever I'm done here," I storm out, I hear Austin say 'nice one' before following me out.

"Oh, how'd it go? I'm Lara by the way," my future mother in law says. I roll my eyes at her.

"Go fuck yourself, Lara," I say and storm out.

We get back to the car and lean back.

"If I may say, today, overall, was a pretty good day," Austin says.

I laugh and nod, he checks the time.

"Well it's eleven, and we have a beautiful day do you want to do something fun?"

I raise my eyebrows at him and he smirks back, I shrug, "Why not?"

He smirks and starts the car.

Let me just start off by saying this was really fun to write and all those who guessed drugs or cheating, it was both. Sorry, it had to be.

Please Please Please Please review. I love hearing all your thoughts.

THANK YOU!