Chapter 23: Werewolf

Remus paced the floor of his bedroom. How could he be so stupid?! He couldn't be with Dorcas. He could never put her in that danger, but he was a coward. He didn't have the courage to tell her that they couldn't be together because he was a monster. He didn't want to see her scream and run away from him like everyone else would if they knew what he was. He sighed and sunk down on the bed. He couldn't do this. He liked Dorcas more than he should. He didn't deserve to be with her and she deserved better than a werewolf. Running his fingers through his hair, he moved over to the door. He had to tell her sooner or later.

He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Dorcas was already there with James and Karen. When he opened the door, Dorcas looked up and smiled at him. "Oh, hey, Remus." James said. "We where just talking about were Lily is."

"They found her?!" Remus asked, temporarily distracted from his mission.

"No, we were talking about places she might be," Karen replied.

"I thought you weren't going after her," Remus said.

"We aren't," Karen said. "We were going to tell Dumbledore so he could send people to look for her."

"Yeah," Dorcas said. "We know they wouldn't risk keeping her in their own houses so it would have to be at a Death Eater camp. Any ideas where one might be?"

"Not off the top of my head, but I'm sure there's a few I could think of," he replied, sitting down.

"I'm sure there's on in the Albanian Forest," Dorcas said. "Dark, creepy place like that."

"Yeah, probably," James said. "What about the Forbidden Forest?"

"No, to close to Dumbledore," Karen said.

After a while of talking about places Death Eaters might keep Lily, Karen stood up. "I'm going to talk to Sirius," she said. "I'll see you later."

"More like tomorrow," James said. "Oh, and use a Silencing Charm, would ya?"

Karen just glared at him and walked out. "I'm going out to the garden," James said. "You guys wanna come?"

"No, thanks," Dorcas said.

"Maybe some other time," Remus said. James just shrugged.

After James left, Remus spoke, "We need to talk."

"What about?" Dorcas asked.

Remus blew out a breath. "Yesterday."

A smile slid across Dorcas' face. "What about it?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but we can't be together," he said quickly.

"How should I take that exactly?" she asked.

"Look, it's not you, it's me," he explained. "I. . . .I just can't be in a relationship right now."

"Is this because of the war?" she asked. "War shouldn't be a problem. Why don't know how much time we have left, so we might as well use what we have."

"It's not. . . . .it's not because of the war," he said quietly.

"What is it about then?" she asked.

"It's complicated," Remus said, standing up. "Besides you'd hate me."

"I could never hate you," Dorcas said, standing as well. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true alright?!" he snapped.

"Remus Lupin, if you don't tell me, I'll find out myself!" she shouted. "One way or another!"

Then she marched out of the kitchen.

Remus slowly walked up to Sirius' room. He looked around before knocking on the door. There was the thud of feet inside before the door opened revealing a shirtless Sirius. "Oh, it's just you," he said. "Did you want to come in?"

"Not if Karen's in there," Remus replied.

"I heard that," Karen said. She appeared next to Sirius in his shirt. "You boys can have the room, I'm going to the loo."

"Now do you want to come in?" Sirius asked as Karen walked down the hall.

"Alright," Remus said, stepping into the room. Sirius walked over to the bed and sat down.

"So what's up?" he asked.

"I. . . . .well I. . . . .I um. . .IkissedDorcas," he said quickly.

"You what?" Sirius asked. "Slow down, mate."

"I kissed Dorcas," Remus replied.

"Way to go, Moony!" Sirius yelled.

"No, it's not good, Sirius," Remus replied.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because it's just not," he answered. "I can't be with her. She's. . . .she's wonderful and I'm a werewolf."

"Don't think like that," he replied. "That girl is crazy about you. You could be 30 with ugly boils all over your face and she would still like you."

"No, she won't, Padfoot," he said. "I don't know what to do."

"Look, mate, if you want my advice, just tell her the truth," Sirius said. "She'll understand. Trust me."

"Alright, chat's over," Karen said, walking back into the room and climbing behind Sirius, wrapping her arms around him. "He's mine now."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You can keep him. He caused James and I enough trouble for one lifetime."

"Hey!" Sirius protested.

"Good luck," Remus said, walking out of the room.

Karen walked down the hall shutting the door behind her so Remus and Sirius could have some privacy. She walked down the hall intending to go to the loo, but was pulled into another room. "What in Merlin's name?!"she shouted, almost falling over.

"Sorry," Dorcas said. "I wanted to talk to you."

"You couldn't have asked me like a normal person?" Karen asked.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "I. . . .Remus kissed me."

"He did?!" Karen asked. "Oh, Doe, that's great!"

"Yeah, but he also said that he didn't want to be with me," Dorcas said.

"Oh, you know Remus, he's stubborn," she said. "You have to convince him."

Dorcas nodded. "But how?"

"I don't know exactly, but you have to talk to him," she said. "Get him to understand that you're not some fragile flower. That you can take care of yourself."

"You're right," Dorcas said. "Thanks, Karen."

The girls hugged before Karen continued her trip to the loo.

Remus took a deep breath and knocked on Dorcas' flat door. It opened immediately. "Remus," Dorcas said. "Come in."

He stepped into the room and she closed the door. "Is something wrong? Is-"

"I'm a werewolf," he blurted out.

"Beg pardon?" she said.

"I'm a werewolf," replied.

"Is this a joke?" she asked. "Sirius this is not funny." Dorcas opened the door and poked her head out.

"It's not a joke," Remus told her. "I'm a werewolf."

She shut the door. "Ok."

"That's it?" he asked. "Ok? You're not going to freak out? You're not going to scream?"

"I'm not a child," Dorcas said. "I can take care of myself. Besides, that's not who you really are. You're a sweet kind person who would do anything for his friends."

"But I'm a monster," Remus said, as she moved over to the couch and sat down.

"Remus Lupin, you're anything, but a monster!" she exclaimed.

Remus just sat there staring at her. She hadn't screamed. She hadn't run away. She hadn't judged him because of what he was. "Is that why you said we shouldn't be together?" she asked. "Because you're a werewolf?"

"Yes," Remus said. "That's no life for a girl like you."

"You know, if I wanted a normal life I wouldn't have volunteered for so many Order missions," she said. "I've dealt with some of the worst Death Eaters, a werewolf isn't going to be a problem. So you have to go and transform once a month, at least you wouldn't be cheating on me. How did James, Sirius, and Peter handle this, by the way?"

"They turned themselves into Animagi every month to help me through the transformation," he said. "James is a stag, Sirius is a dog, and Peter is a rat." Remus couldn't believe he was telling all of this to her, but he couldn't stop himself. The truth spilled out of him like water out of an overturned bucket.

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," Dorcas said. "You've got guts, I'll give you that. Do you want some tea?"

"Yeah," Remus said. "Thanks. . . . .for understanding."

Sirius waited until Karen's breathing had slowed down. He slowly rose from the bed and pulled on his boxers and pants. When he was fully dressed, he slipped out of the room quietly. James was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. "Remind me how you figured this out again?" Sirius asked.

"Because if Bellatrix did get Lily, then she would hide her the last place anyone would like," James told him. "At one of the manors. She wouldn't hide her at the Black Manor, to risky, but she would hide her at Malfoy's."

"And how exactly do you intend to get in there?" Sirius asked. "You can't just walk up and knock on the front door."

"I'll figure that out later," James replied.

"You haven't planned this out?" he asked.

"Slipped my mind."

"I must be mental."

"But you're my best friend."

"So I'm going with you to make sure you don't get killed."

"Good," James said.

They walked out to the front door and were about to Apparate when a voice called to them, "What are you two prats doing?!"

They both turned around to see an angry Karen storming towards them. "Have you gone insane?!"

"Karen. . . . .I know you told us to wait for the Aurors to find her, but I can't," James said. "Not anymore."

Karen sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm coming with you," she said.

Sirius smiled. "I thought you'd see it our way."

"Shut up, before I change my mind," Karen said, grabbing their hands. They Apparated.