Thanks for all your lovely reviews and beautiful words!
I wasn't sure about a song for this chapter, so I'm just going to give you an awesome song that's stuck in my head right now;Heatwave by The Julian Taylor Band. Go listen to it. I dare you.
Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight, I don't think she'd approve of what I've done to her characters. There's all sort of stuff that kids shouldn't be reading.
. . . . . . . . . .
I moaned, not wanting to let go of the incredible dream I was having. I swear I was still sleeping, I could still feel her soft hands gently trailing down my stomach, across my hip bones, and wrapping around my-
My eyes shot open, staring at the large lump underneath the blankets, and flipping them over to see Bella lying in between my legs, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as she slowly slid her hand up and down my hard shaft. I groaned when her fingers went up to my tip, doing this crazy fucking twisting thing around my head with her gentle touch. I moaned, my head dropping back onto the pillow.
"Bella, what are you doing?" I choked out, not able to actually bring myself to stop her as her magical fucking hands tortured me.
"Just saying good morning," she whispered sweetly, tightening her grip on me. "Am I doing this right?" She asked a little too innocently.
"Fuck, I don't know what the hell you're doing, but please don't stop," I begged. She was doing this voluntarily, I wasn't going to feel guilty, I just wanted to fucking savour it. Besides, I'm still not sure that I was actually awake right now.
Her hands were more curious than anything as they moved around me, trying to figure out what she wanted to do maybe as she explored my cock. She rubbed me up and down with both of her hands, twisted her fingers around my tip while she pumped me, cupped and fondled my balls, and I pulled in a sharp, surprised breath when I felt her hot tongue roll around my tip. "Oh fuck, Bella, you don't have to-" I shut my mouth with a snap as she wrapped hers around me, rolling her tongue around me as she continued to pump me. My hands went down to her hair, and she slapped them away playfully.
"Hands on the pillow, soldier," she said teasingly, making me growl. It was fucking hot though, and I gripped into my hair instead as she pulled me deeper into her mouth, sucking on me tightly while she cupped my balls firmly.
It didn't take her long at all to work me up to the edge of my release. "Fuck, I'm really close," I warned her in a strained voice, but she made no move to pull away from me. I tried to warn her again then-
"Fuck!" My body jerked when her teeth just barely grazed over my head, and I didn't have any time to warn her again before I came hard in her mouth. She coughed slightly around me, pulling away, and my panic warred with the high of my release.
"Fuck, baby, I'm sorry I-"
I stopped, looking up at her. She was sitting up on her knees, smiling down at me nervously as she wiped the back of her hand over her mouth.
Did she fucking swallow?
"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. "What that okay?"
"Are you kidding me? Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?" I asked, a little suspiciously.
"Do what?" she asked, biting her lip nervously. Fuck, she had no fucking idea, did she?
How the fuck did I get so lucky?
"Doesn't matter," I growled, lunging forward and making her squeal as I pulled her over and pinned her underneath me before I kissed her. "My turn," I said in a low, excited voice, making her gasp as my fingers quickly slid through her wet folds.
Fuck.
I stole her gasping breath with my lips as I circled her clit with my thumb, sliding a finger inside of her. I made sure to be gentle, just in case she was sore from last night. She was still so fucking tight, and I worked her for a couple minutes before sliding in a second finger, curling them up inside of her, hitting that spot that made her tremble and moan while I stimulated her clit. I wanted to taste her again, but it was too engrossing, watching her face. I held both of her wrists in one of my hands to keep her still, kissing her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, nibbling on her ear as she moaned underneath me, and cried out my name with a long string of fucks as she came. I couldn't imagine myself ever tiring of doing that to her. She watched me, her eyes going wide, her face flaming red as I brought my two fingers up to my mouth and licked her juices off of them.
"You taste fucking delicious," I purred, and she bit onto her lip.
Unfortunately Zeus would not permit us to stay in her bed all day. I offered to take him up to the roof so Bella could jump in the shower and get dressed, and when I got back I jumped in after her and came out to her cooking us breakfast.
Lunch would have been more appropriate of a term actually, it was almost one in the afternoon. I was still pulling on a t-shirt as I walked over to her, sliding my hands over the dark grey denim on her hips, and fiddling with the hem of her black tank top. Her wet hair was in a thick French braid that hung over her shoulder, making it just too easy to lean in and brush my lips against the back of her neck. She shuddered, a wanting sigh escaping her lips. She melted into my arms as my lips trailed across the spot, grinning when I realized I had found her weak spot. My hands slid firmly up her stomach, palming her breasts and her spatula fell to the floor with a clatter.
"Fuck, Edward!" She hissed, pushing me away with a frustrated, and completely aroused fire in her eyes. I grinned at her, chuckling as I picked the spatula up and handed it to her before going over to the fridge and pouring us each a glass of juice. She set the plate of perfectly burnt sausages on the island with a bowl of cut up fruit, and started pouring pancake batter onto the skillet.
Every moment with this woman was amazing.
She sat down next to me to eat, and her eyes seemed to flicker over to me as much as mine did to hers. I couldn't stop staring at her.
So it didn't take me long to notice that she seemed a bit on edge. No, actually, a bit was putting it mildly. She seemed really tense, nervous almost. She looked like she was trying to say something, but couldn't.
A tight pit formed in my stomach.
"What's wrong?" I asked hesitantly, turning on my stool to face her completely. She didn't try to brush it off, she didn't play mind games like that. She took in a shaky breath, and set down her fork. She didn't look at me.
"I found some information on someone a while back. Someone you know. I… I've wanted to tell you before, but I didn't know if it was something you'd want to hear, or if it was even my place to say anything. Then I thought it would be best to just let it go, but it makes me feel like shit keeping it from you. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." I don't think she actually meant to say that last part out loud, because I knew she was going to tell me if she'd brought it up, but I answered her anyways because it was obvious that she was struggling.
"You could just tell me, and we'll see where it goes from there," I said cautiously.
"I have to, I just hate being the one to hurt you," she said, a tear escaping her eye. "I'm just really sorry that I waited so long to tell you. Please believe that."
"I do," I said gently. If she was this upset over it though, I wasn't really sure I wanted to know.
She was quiet for a long minute. "You know how I did a background check on your manager?"
"Yes," I said cautiously. If this was just Tyler screwing up though, that wasn't too big of a deal. Our contract was almost over, and I had no intention of renewing it. He really was an ass, and after finding out that he was cheating on his wife, well, I just lost whatever respect I had left for him. Although it was going make the tour in January difficult. I was certain Bella would help me with my schedule if I asked her to though.
"Well, I did two. One before the first time I went to LA with you, and a more… in-depth one a while afterwards."
"And what does in-depth consist of?" I asked curiously.
"Breaking into his e-mail, credit card and phone records," she answered easily.
"And what did you find?"
She closed her eyes tightly. "That he had been sleeping with Tanya. The dates matched when you two had still been together and after you broke up. That he took her for the abortion, and that it was his child."
I stared at her incredulously. There was no way that could be true, it just… Tyler was an asshole, but this?
"I'm sorry."
"I need to see it," I said in a voice that I didn't even recognize. She got up without a word, and brought her grey laptop over to the kitchen counter. I didn't see her use this one often, even though I'm pretty sure it was brand new.
She opened up a folder, and slid it in front of me.
I started clicking through the files, screenshots of e-mails, text messages. Phone records. Hotel transactions that matched dates of messages.
It was all right fucking there.
I was so fucking livid that I could barely breathe. I didn't think it would be possible for me to hate her more than I already had, but I'd been really fucking wrong apparently.
"When did you find this out?"
"Two days before we started dating," she said quietly, staring at her hands in her lap.
"You knew this, all this time, and you never said anything?"
"Yes."
"How could you have kept this from me?"
"I didn't think it was my place to say anything. I didn't know if you'd just be happier not knowing. The timing never felt right. Every time I tried other shit got in the way. I have a million useless excuses that I hate giving you, but I really, really didn't mean to. I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't change the fact that you've been fucking keeping this from me!" I shouted, throwing her laptop. It shattered against the cupboard under her sink, the pieces scattering across her kitchen floor, but she didn't even flinch. "What? Now you can't look at me?" I hissed.
She turned quickly, meeting my eyes, and my heart just fucking broke.
She was crying, and it didn't even take a second to see that she had meant every single word. She hadn't wanted to keep this from me, she could have just forgotten about it, but she'd felt too guilty. She had already been beating herself up about this.
And I just fucking screamed at her.
And smashed her fucking laptop.
Fuck.
"Fuck," I repeated aloud, though quietly. She must have seen my mental path change, because she reached for my hand, but quickly stopped herself, and looked down at her hands in her lap again, still silently crying.
She should have punched me, or yelled at me, or pushed me away, but when I pulled her into my arms, right off her fucking chair, she just let me.
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"It's okay, I don't blame you," she said quietly. "But I'm so sor-"
"Shh. It's okay. Just… thank you for telling me."
"You have a really shitty manager," she said with a sniffle. I actually fucking laughed.
"Tell me about it. Thank God his contract is up." I paused, and took a deep breath. "It's probably a good thing you didn't tell me sooner, it would have been a pain in the ass to try and get out of that contract."
"What are you going to do?"
I thought about that for a moment, feeling myself get calmer by the second as I held her. It helped me think rationally, touching her, something that I knew would be impossible right now if I didn't have her next to me.
"Nothing. There's nothing to do. We'll part ways, and I won't work with him again." I sighed. "I just can't believe he would do something like that to me. And all the times he joked about it… fuck, he was just rubbing it in my fucking face," I realized. I felt like an idiot. Bella's arms wrapped around me though, and she held me tightly, her soothing hands moving through my hair.
"I could kill her for what she did to you. Both of them," she said angrily, and in a completely serious voice.
"Honestly… just the thought of her name used to make me want to kill someone, but since I've met you I've barely even thought about her. What we had was nothing to me. I just feel like an idiot."
"For what it's worth, I don't think you're an idiot. I think you just have bad taste in employees," she said lightly, making me laugh again.
"What am I supposed to do? He has all of my scheduling for the tour in January, and I don't think I'm going to be able to talk to him rationally, or without yelling at him. This is going to be a fucking nightmare."
"I think I can help with that," she said with a smile.
It was an interesting morning to say the least. After cleaning up the shattered laptop that I told her I'd quickly replace, (she told me not to bother, that she had gotten that computer just on the possibility that I might break it, but I was going to anyways,) she let me watch her work as she broke into his company's network to get into his computer system, got every single document I wanted or needed, and erased any personal files Tyler had that I didn't want him to from his computers. The last thing I wanted him to have were my credit card numbers and passwords.
She'd even set up for me to leave a message on his computer, that would open up as soon as he tried to open up his file on me. I kept it short and sweet.
You're fired. Say hi to the ex for me.
. . . . . . . . . .
"You know, my mom adores you, she's been sending me texts every day for the last week trying to find out when I'm bringing you over again."
Bella was curled up on my lap, typing away on her laptop doing some sort of online course about encryptions or something. She chewed on her lip uncomfortably, her eyes flickering over to my face propped up on her shoulder a couple of times before she spoke. "Your mom was great Edward, she's an amazing woman, but I'm really not comfortable imposing on your father."
I froze, realizing she had noticed his weird behavior on Christmas. I wasn't going to lie to her, but I had hoped it had gone unnoticed. "I really don't know what his fucking problem is, but I'm sorry about that. You really shouldn't worry about him though, let him be a prick if he wants to, he can be by himself. My mom doesn't put up with that sort of behaviour, and she loves you." She tried to mirror my grin, but it looked forced. "Talk to me," I coaxed, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to me.
"I wasn't very… nice to him. When he fixed my shoulder. No, actually, I was a complete bitch, and he probably thinks I'm crazy." Her tone was completely serious, deadpanned, and I covered my chuckle with a cough.
"What happened exactly?" The thought of her yelling at my dad way pretty entertaining.
"Well, I was pissed that Alice had tricked me into coming over and cornered me. I knew my arm was fucked, but I was going to get it set soon anyways when my guy got back. She was crying and shit though, and they wouldn't let me leave. She guilted me into it and then they wanted me to take off of shirt for it and… fuck." She sighed irritably, shaking. She was livid just talking about it, and I was a little scared for where this story would lead. "Well, I wasn't going to do that, so I just kind of… ripped the sleeve off of my shirt. I told him to be quick, and as soon as he finished I left, only telling Alice that what she did wasn't right. I knew I was a being a bitch, I should have thanked him, but I was too fucking angry." She closed her eyes, rubbing the palms of her hands over them. "There's no way your father wants his only son to be with some crazy bitch that can't even thank someone for saving their fucking arm. I'm surprised he even let me walk into your house."
I pulled her hands away from her face gently. "My dad talked about you at the wedding, before we started dating," I told her with a smile, catching her attention. "He felt guilty that you thought you owed him for fixing your arm. He was worried, because it was obvious that there were some issues there," I told her teasingly, making the corner of her mouth twitch up. "But, the most direct thing he said about you was, 'That woman is tuff-as-nails, she didn't shed a single tear.' He thought you were remarkably strong, and really respected that."
She gave me a sad smile. "That was very sweet of him, but it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't approve. I don't see the need to rub it in his face. But maybe we could see her on a Thursday? For lunch during the day or something?"
I smiled brightly. "That sounds perfect, actually." Even though I didn't want to share our Thursdays, I knew it would probably be the last chance I'd have to get the two of them together for a while…
That realization put a pit in my stomach. Two weeks, then I would be leaving for the tour. Two weeks without seeing my Bella, or touching her… I knew we'd be fine, I had no doubt about that, but the notion was still physically painful for me to think about. My hold on her tightened, and she shuffled into my lap with an adorable smile to get closer to me. I kissed her urgently, using the feeling of her next to me now to block out the fear of not having her later. Her fingers slid down my throat, and she supported herself comfortably against my shoulders as she straddled my lap. Her lips didn't break away from mine once as her hands slid down my chest, and took the hem of my t-shirt before pulling it over my shoulders with an excited grin. I automatically reached for her shirt, but stopped, and dropped my hands into my lap. Fuck.
"What's wrong?" She asked, pulling off her shirt herself and tossing it onto the floor. I shut my eyes, forcing myself to restrain… myself, when I saw that dark blue cotton bra. I fucking loved that colour on her.
"I'm, uh… out of condoms," I said, chastising myself for not stopping at the store before I came over last night. I still hadn't been able to bring myself to have that conversation with her yet, I was too afraid of making her uncomfortable.
"Oh," she said, settling down against my legs comfortably. It was a fucking awesome sight, her sitting on top of me in nothing but those dark jeans and that fucking blue bra. "I… don't have any diseases or anything like that," she said a little shyly.
"I don't either," I told her quickly.
"I figured, I knew you would have told me if you did before," she said with a trusting smile. My hands slid up to her waist, relaxing as I felt her soft skin.
"Are you… on the pill?" I realized after that question came out, I really wouldn't have minded getting Bella pregnant. I already knew I wanted to stay with her for the rest of my life, the past week of intense, mind-blowing sex had just been fucking ice cream on my brownie.
She watched me for a long minute, the fear and trepidation in her eyes making me hold her tighter. She sighed softly, looking resigned as she closed her eyes. "No, but… I can't have children."
It took a minute for me to absorb those words. "What do you mean?"
"I'm not able to get pregnant," she said quietly, and ran her thumb over the covered scar on her hip. "The doctor that did my surgery, when he was rebuilding my pelvis, well… he fucked up. They told me later that the measurement of one of the pins he used was wrong, and he didn't fucking see it, and it ended up doing a lot of damage. It all happened while I was still in that coma, a really bad infection set in and they told me that the fever almost killed me before they went in and had to do another surgery. Long story short, there are eggs in the basket, but they're too damaged to grow into anything." She watched me for a long moment, but I wasn't sure what to say. The fact that I couldn't have a child with her… I wasn't expecting that to hurt so much. But what was worse was my anger. He just kept taking from her. "I'm sorry Edward," she said, the tears streaming down her face now, hitting me right in the gut like a bat. "I know I should have told you sooner, I meant to, I… it was selfish, but I just wasn't ready to lose you yet." She tried to pull away from me, but my arms wound around her waist like a vice, pulling her against me and holding her there tightly.
"No, Bella. Baby, this doesn't change how I feel about you at all," I told her, lifting a hand up to swipe away her tears. Her wide, chocolate eyes looked back up at me disbelievingly. "It's okay. I know how hard something like that must have been for you to talk about. I get that. I'm still not leaving you Bella, ever. And I'm going to keep telling you that until you get it through that pretty head of yours." She gave me a small, hesitant smile, sniffling slightly. "I love you."
"I love you too." She leaned against me gently, watching my face closely. "And I know we really haven't been together very long but… are you sure you're comfortable letting this go further, even knowing we can't have… that?"
"There's no one else in the world for me Bella, there's only you, and it's going to stay that way." I grinned again, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "Besides, when we want kids we could always adopt. But Zeus is a big enough handful as it is." His ears pricked up at the sound of his name, but he looked too tired to lift his head to investigate. That dog went comatose when the fireplace was on.
He was always hogging that rug. I really wanted to fuck Bella on that rug in front of the fire, that would be romantic as hell.
She let out a small laugh, leaning in and kissing me, her hands hot against my chest. I slid my hands up her back, and felt her smile against my lips as I easily unclasped her bra with two fingers, then pulled it off of her.
"That was permission, right?" I asked teasingly between kisses.
"Fuck yes it was," she purred, her hands quickly pulling off her belt. I unsnapped her button, and she stood up to slide off her jeans as I kicked off mine, and pulled her back down into my lap. She stopped herself from colliding into me with her hands against my chest, grinning before she kissed me again, settling herself on my lap. My fingers quickly dipped into her folds, rubbing around her clit while I slid a finger inside of her. A soft, muffled moan escaped her mouth as she gripped onto my shoulder, and reached down to rub her hand along my hardness that was pressing up against the inside of her thigh and whimpered. "Please Edward," she pleaded, rubbing herself up against me while she tried to shift around my lap, my fingers still inside of her, and whined in frustration, making me smile. I loved seeing her get all flustered like this.
"Please what?" I asked in a taunting voice, my hand still tightly holding her hip down so she couldn't move away from my fingers.
She opened her smouldering eyes, biting her lip as she leaned into me, rubbing her breasts against my chest as her fingers slid into my hair. "Stop teasing me and fuck me," she whispered in a low voice, reaching down and pinching my nipple.
"Fuck," I growled, lifting her up and watching her grinning lips as I lowered her down on me.
"Oh god," she said, sinking deeper onto me and digging her fingertips into my shoulders. There was just her, and it was the mostfuckingamazing feeling in the world. She felt so fucking good, and hot, and wet. She pushed herself up on her knees, adjusting her body slightly, before quickly lowering herself onto me with another moan. I held onto her hips, but I wasn't guiding her. Bella wanted to be in charge right now, and I was happy to fucking let her. It freed up my hands to touch her everywhere while she rocked against my body, swerving her hips around mine when I was deeply inside of her. It was the sexiest fucking thing I'd ever seen. She had tried to hold out for me I think, but I didn't let her. She whimpered when I started rubbing her clit as I took one of her hard nipples into my mouth, speeding up her movements, and it took no time at all to push her over the edge of her release.
I wasn't done with her though.
I wasn't afraid of hurting her anymore, because she made it obvious that she loved everything I did to her, so I didn't pause in lifting her up, wrapping her legs around my waist as I turned us so she was leaning against the back of the couch, straddling my knees before I pulled out of her and thrust into her quickly. Her moans overpowered the sound of mine as I kept her pinned, pounding into her while bracing my arms against the back of the couch under her arms. Her small hands were gripping onto my biceps while she held onto me tightly with her thighs, and by the time I finished her whole fucking body was trembling underneath mine while she weakly clung to me with a pleased, lazy grin. She was asleep in minutes, and I just curled up with her there on the couch, pulling her throw blanket over us and falling asleep with her wrapped tightly in my arms.
. . . . . . . . . .
It was a bit of a strange morning I guess. Bella wanted to go to the gym, and I did too, but now that it had become a known spot of mine we couldn't drive over together. I couldn't even approach her when I was inside, and it just felt wrong to be so close to her and not touching her.
And I had so little time left to touch her.
I couldn't stop myself from watching her though. She spent the entire morning beating the shit out of that black sand bag with reckless abandon. No one went anywhere near her, giving her terrified looks with her blaring headphones. She should have passed out from the effort of that alone, but when I left to shower and came back out she was on a bike, the seat for it tossed on the floor while she leaned forward on the handle bars, sweat pouring off of her face while she threatened to break the pedals off the bike. This was going overboard, even for her. I hated that I couldn't just walk up to her as tell her to stop, and quickly took out my phone.
Seriously B, you need to stop now. You're going to hurt yourself. Let's go home.
She looked surprised when her phone went off, like she had forgotten where she was. Very unlike her. She stepped off of the bike slowly, leaning against it as she texted me back.
Sorry, I just lost track of time. I have to check something in the office before I go. Meet you back home in an hour?
I didn't have keys to her apartment. You needed five, not counting the one for the elevator which I did have, but it was because I didn't want them. The idea of losing that set of keys made me sick.
Okay, I'm going to pick us up some burgers, sound good?
Yessss, extra pickles please :)
I laughed, and gave her an inconspicuous nod before heading out.
When I did get back to the apartment with our late lunch, she seemed completely fine, smiling, chatting easily, cuddling up next to me.
But something still felt off. She kept trying to inconspicuously check her phone, Zeus seemed on edge…
And all of her computers were off. The one monitor that scrolled news articles all over the US for her key words and phrases she had built the system to look for was off for the first time. Maybe that's why she was checking her phone? She could have made a fancy new program on it or something, she had been spending a lot of time on her laptop lately, and I never understood what all that script on those black screens meant.
"Your mom has been texting me," she explained, finding me watching her as she picked up her vibrating phone and held it out to me.
Hello sweetie, how's your day going? My daughter had been telling me a lot about your classes, is there any chance you have room to squeeze in one old woman? It sounds like a lot of fun. We could go out to lunch afterwards!
Love, Esme
I chuckled, handing the phone back to her and relaxing slightly. This didn't surprise me, I had warned Bella about giving my mom her phone number. She treated all of her phones like disposable ones though, I got texts from strange numbers with just the word "new" in them almost every other week, her way of letting me know she'd changed numbers again. She said she could handle my mother. Hah.
"Would it be… weird for you if I went out to lunch with her while you were gone?" She asked curiously, watching me closely.
"Not at all, I love that you two get along," I told her seriously, leaning in and kissing her cheek.
"Are you sure? Because I-"
"I'm sure baby. I really don't mind, I like it."
She smiled at me, and sent my mother a text in return, saying she could sit through a class first to see if she's up for it. My mom was in great shape, and she was much tougher than she looked, but Bella seemed haunted by the possibility of my mother getting hurt on her watch.
. . . . . . . . . .
This chapter always feels like a bit of filler to me, but it was necessary. Two big things; Tyler's douchebaggery and Bella's inability to have children. How are you feeling about those things, and Edward's reactions to both of them?