Happy Easter everyone :)
Michael knows what it is, before Raphael even has the chance to give him a report. Frozen in shock the oldest of the archangels tries to calm himself down by praying fervently, while triumph about being right, joy about Gabriel being alive somehow, fear at the thought of actually having to face his youngest brother now and sudden doubt if all of this isn´t just him going mad after all, battle each other inside him in an absolute mess.
What irks him maybe most, is how easily he would have missed it, if he hadn´t been on high alert for days, paying special attention to the archangel bond and alerting Raphael to pay attention as well. It wasn´t much of a signal or a call, just a tug, almost certainly involuntarily from Gabriel´s side, little contacts that just happen and that you learn to ignore fairly quickly, when you are permanently linked to your siblings.
Hadn´t his thoughts been continuously on Gabriel the past days, he would have just thought it a little slip up by Raphael, not worth mentioning. After all who else could it be? The younger angels feel way different, he hasn´t felt Lucifer since… his betrayal and Gabriel was dead, so he has started thinking of the archangel bond as a two person bond long ago.
He doesn´t even dare think about how many times he has put a subconscious contact with Gabriel down on it being Raphael and how many times Raphael probably has thought it to be him. If he thinks about that, he will really go crazy. Gabriel was there, all this time, still part of the bond and he didn´t notice! Michael is supposed to be the leader, the oldest, taking care of everyone and he didn´t notice his little brother still being alive! It´s just impossible to dwell on it.
He prays harder, for guidance, for Gabriel, for something. For anything.
When Raphael comes to report that he and some of the younger angels felt archangel power, that was neither from Raphael nor Michael, Michael can barely hold to himself. "So I was right and you were wrong"
It´s gloating, power play, unworthy of him, really, but he can´t stop himself. Gabriel is alive somewhere, he saw him, felt him, twice now and this time he wasn´t the only one, it just has to be, his sweet, little brother has to be alive. It´s not overimagination, it´s not! Michael feels like he is bristling with energy. Like Gabriel always did. Oh, Father, it´s so good to finally be able to think about Gabriel again, not always having to push him away, because it just hurts to much.
Raphael is destroying the mood once again. If Michael was furious at him not caring about Gabriel before, he is livid now. Raphael felt their younger brother himself, yet he still doesn´t seem to care, all Michael can detect is doubt, too strong to be fully concealed. "What is it?". He snaps at Raphael. "I know you want to say something, say it! No, no excuses, say it! And stop shuffling for Fathers sake!"
Raphael is more than reluctant, but his fear of disobeying a direct command from Michael, is more direct and therefore stronger than his fear of upsetting Michael with something he says, as Michael is very much aware of. "Well", he begins carefully, weary of Michaels gaze on him. "Say Gabriel was alive..." "He IS alive", Michael almost shouts, feeling ready to hit Raphael, yet happy to be able to speak of Gabriel in the present. Is alive, is alive, is alive!
"Gabriel is alive", Raphael corrects emotionless, like it doesn´t matter anyway. "So why didn´t he try to contact us since Lucifers betrayal?"
Michael is unable to do anything but stare at him in response. Raphael didn´t mean it as an attack, he is certain of that, he is certain that Raphael would never dare attack him, but yet it feels like being hit in the stomach with holy fire. The question burns through him without mercy, bringing back feelings he thought he would be finally able to get over now.
It felt like this when Lucifer betrayed him.
It felt like this when Father didn´t answer anymore.
It felt like this when he held Gabriels still body, blade still sticking in his chest, wingmarks in the grass, the garden, their garden, their home. Little, innocent Gabriel dead in his arms, Gabriel…
No.
It´s over. He won´t need to suffer that memory ever again. Gabriel is alive and well and Michael will bring his brother home, like he should as an oldest brother. Take care of your siblings. There will be an explanation for the body that felt so real, he can still feel it sometimes, there will be an explanation why Gabriel went missing all the time after that. A solid, simple explanation, that won´t hurt anyone.
Please, Father, please.
"Maybe he couldn´t", he tries to defend Gabriel and protect himself from unwanted truths. "Maybe he wanted to contact but..." He stops when he realizes where that thought is bound to lead. Raphael doesn´t have the decency to restrict himself like Michael does.
"You mean someone captured him" Raphael looks more or less openly skeptic now, something he hasn´t dared to do for years. "Michael, you know that if someone captured him and held him that long, there won´t be much left to safe"
The casual way he says that, makes the statement even worse. Michael tries to answer, put him in his place, but he can´t seem to find the words for it, or any words at all. The pictures that assault his mind are the absolute horror, Gabriel going slowly mad in a cell somehow being the kindest of it. Michael has learned way to much about torture since he last saw Gabriel and he knows he will never be able to get the vivid images his mind produces out of his head again.
Holy fire.
Please, Father, whatever happened to Gabriel, don´t let it have anything to do with holy fire!
He sees Gabriel in shackles, Gabriel getting tortured with angel blades and holy fire, his little brother, the one wanted to keep safe at all costs, the one he made to precious for this world, Gabriel with broken wings, Gabriel to injured and tired to even scream, Gabriel managing now and then to activate the archangel bond, just a bit, just a tug, and getting ignored over and over again.
It takes all of Michael´s carefully assembled self-control to calm himself down again. The bond between Raphael and him must have gone crazy in the last minute and he can´t help but wonder if Gabriel felt it too.
Gabriel, who definitely wasn´t kidnapped all this time, because there is just no reason for it. Besides there is no way someone or something would know when to grab Gabriel, because the escalation with Lucifer happened way too sudden, or that something would be able to fake Gabriel death like that and leave no trace in heaven. Besides what would be the point of it all?
Information? There was no attack on heaven with specific inside information, that by now would have been outdated anyway.
Hostage taking? Unlikely without demands.
Just revenge or simple cruelty? What monster would do that to a young angel?
Well, the voice in his head, that always sounds way too much like Lucifer, answers. You would.
Remember Gadreel? Remember Abner? Remember…
"Maybe he went with Lucifer", Raphael interrupts his thoughts and everything inside Michael begins to roar.
From the way Raphael cowers and looks at him, he must have slapped his brother, but he doesn´t remember. It was an automatic reaction, fueled by built up pain, fear and anger, launched onto the easiest target.
"He didn´t", he tells Raphael sternly, because there is no other refuge left for him and he has just too many memories of Lucifer teaching Gabriel tricks, the two of them stealing off to earth together or establishing another of their secret hiding places, that Michael and Raphael only ever got to see, after they weren´t in use anymore. "Gabriel isn´t a traitor, he didn´t go with Lucifer and you will never say that again, or this is the least punishment you will get. Gabriel is alive. He didn´t go with Lucifer. And you follow my orders and don´t talk when you are not asked. Do you understand me?"
Raphael manages a "Yes, of course" and Michael feels like he himself is swaying at the brink of madness, just waiting to crash down.
That´s something else he has learned since he last saw Gabriel. That angels can fall in more ways than just one.
"Good", he continues. "I will go down to earth and look at the source of the archangel power. I need five from the garrison, take Balthazar, choose the rest yourself" Gabriel loved that kid and Balthazar never really gave up on him. Not like Michael did. "You stay here, take care of everything. Do you understand me?"
A quick nod, a pressed out "yes" and Raphael is off. Michael sinks back in his chair, trying to think neither of the past nor the future and just pray.
Michael hates having to get a vessel and although he would never admit it to anyone, he has never gotten comfortable on earth. The first time Father told him about the place, he got kind of excited, but more about the concept of it all, than about the possibility of actually seeing it. While Lucifer, Gabriel and even Raphael couldn´t wait to see Fathers creation and didn´t seem to know another topic anymore, Michael spent days asking himself what was wrong with the garden, so that it should be replaced and what was wrong with himself, because he wasn´t eager to leave the garden at all, afraid even, though he would never admit that to his brothers.
So he prayed for answers and it was a time when Father didn´t come by often, but sometimes he actually did and answered the archangels questions. "You are not a coward", he told his eldest son, as they sat together in the garden, listening to Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel playing in the distance and Michael didn´t know how much he would grow to miss that voice in the future, that feeling of not always being the one responsible, of just being able to lean back and relax, because even if something were to happen to his younger siblings now, Father would go and fix it and he could just stay back, without being a bad brother.
"You are my oldest, the one with the strongest relation to the garden, it is natural that you don´t want to leave" "But I want to leave", Michael protested. "I just..." He hung his head shamefully, even then afraid of disappointing his father, but God just laughed. "You are afraid", he said, without any reproach in his words. "But that is alright. You are created to be a leader, Michael, the leader of heaven and I am glad that you like heaven so much. Just...just give earth a try, would you?" And Michael promised, because he never wanted to disappoint his father. Not in all of eternity.
He almost stayed in the garden anyway, when the first time they were allowed to visit earth came. It wasn´t like he didn´t want to, more like he couldn´t do it, like the garden was alive and holding him back. He went to earth in the end, because he couldn´t destroy his brothers happiness and because he couldn´t ever disappoint his father. But he never understood the fascination his brothers held for earth, the eagerness with which Gabriel would go there over and over again, the way Lucifer never stopped being fascinated by the planet, even as he grew to despise humans, how Raphael never minded taking a vessel and how this was one of the few aspects of him that never changed despite everything.
It´s something he will never understand about his brothers and he hates not being able to understand his siblings.
Michael looks about the market of Kolkata, the place to which they traced the archangel power and tries to calm down, but even praying doesn´t seem to work anymore. He feels anxious in his vessel, like he is being suffocated, a discomfort that pushes even his thoughts about Gabriel back more than he thought possible. Of course he hasn´t got his true vessel, which makes the situation even worse, because he constantly has to consciously hold the body together, but it´s unwise to use his true vessel before it has been through hell, which will be very soon and anyway at least this one didn´t need much convincing.
He doesn´t like the market either, too many humans, too many smells, too much noise, too less control. Balthazar seems delighted, although he tries to not let it show and Esther and Purah don´t seem too distressed either. He is glad that at least Nathaniel and Josiah obviously share his discomfort.
At least the market definitely wasn´t a wrong lead. Here the remains of a battle between demons and an archangel are so strong, Michael wonders how this could result in just a tug of the archangel bond. The way Gabriel seems to be able to shield his power is like nothing he has ever seen before.
He quickly dismisses the nagging thoughts about Gabriel not wanting to be found. It´s impossible! Of course Gabriel wants to be found, he wouldn´t hide on purpose and let them suffer all this time.
"There must have been at least fifty demons" Esther sounds impressed, even though she is trying to hide it. "To defeat them all in such a way..." "Well, that´s Gabriel", Balthazar gives back, proud as if he had defeated them all by himself. He was one of Gabriel´s favorites back in the days, one who claimed that Gabriel was alive years before Michael saw him on that street in Wyoming and got into trouble for it. Michael now regrets never listening to him, but right now he feels too anxious and annoyed to merit it and Balthazar makes him aware that even if they find Gabriel, he will never have his little brother to himself, like he somehow imagined it over the last days.
"You didn´t even know him", he snaps at Balthazar. "You were a fledgling back then. Now focus and stop talking" Balthazar obeys immediately, as if he is afraid of being sent back to heaven if he doesn´t. Which he better should, Michael thinks.
Something is strange about this battle side though. There is something he can´t quite place, something that almost mends into the atmosphere of the market, because it seems so much at home, but he can´t say what it is and it´s driving him crazy. Was it for Gabriel or against him? Is it futile to search here, when his little brother could be on the other side of the planet by now? Is it better to return to heaven?
No, he restricts himself. Just going back to heaven won´t be right this time. This is for Gabriel and he can spent some time on earth for Gabriel, even if he doesn´t like it and his vessel isn´t the best of choices. He owes it to Gabriel.
"We will search the city", he commands, even though he doesn´t know if that will help at all. "Purah with Nathaniel, Esther with Josiah, Balthazar with me. Go!"
He knows that if a human were to watch them, it would look like mere seconds of just starring at the walls of the market, but there is much more to it. It´s like leaving only so much of yourself in your vessel, that you can reenter without problems and spreading out the rest of you over a part of a city, becoming the city. It feels like ages, searching the part he has chosen for himself, afraid of not finding Gabriel and afraid of finding him simultaneously, always Balthazar by his side, who doesn´t seem to be in conflict at all, bristling with excitement.
The moment Purah and Nathaniel push into the angel frequency, he knows that they have found him and there is nothing holding him back anymore. Without turning for Balthazar, he returns to his vessel in a blink and almost yanks it to the place from where the two of them are calling.
He can´t hold back his surprise. A Hindu temple of all places? This is where he is finally going to meet his brother again? It´s so unlike anything he has imagined in the short time he has been sure of Gabriel being alive, that it throws him completely of balance for a moment, but at least that explains the other presence in the market.
What in Fathers name is Gabriel doing with the Hindus?
"Let´s go", he announces to the now assembled angels and with a fervent prayer pushes open the temple doors.