"Wake up."
"No, mom, go away."
"Wake up."
James flapped a hand in the general direction of The Voice and rolled over.
"James, if we are late to breakfast, so help me I will kill you."
"Breakfast?" James asked, sitting up. He groped around for his glasses, but the fingertips on his right hand met nothing but empty air. He looked around at his right side, but could see nothing but blurry shapes. "Where'd my glasses run off to?"
Someone roughly shoved his glasses onto his face, and the faces of three boys snapped into view sharply. James jumped. "Who are you?" They roared with laughter, and suddenly James remembered. "Oh! I'm at Hogwarts!" He leapt out of bed and scrambled to get ready.
"Why didn't you guys wake me up?" he whined, hopping down the stairs as he pulled on his shoes.
Remus replied, "We tried."
"You sleep like a rock," Sirius added helpfully. "A very abusive, grumpy rock." James pulled a face at him and shouldered his rucksack, clambering out of the portrait hole. He waved cheerily at the Fat Lady, who smiled sweetly and wiggled her fingers back at him. The four boys made their way down to the Great Hall.
"Where's Frank?" Peter asked. Frank Longbottom was the fifth Gryffindor first year boy. They had made fast friends with him, but his best friend since childhood was a girl, also in Gryffindor, named Alice Prewett. Apparently, they had grown up as next door neighbors in London. Frank was cheerful, eager, and a little clumsy, but he was also extremely smart and quick with his wand. Sirius had learned that the hard way, when he meant to try a jinx on James, but missed. From an incredibly uncomfortable position in which his legs were glued together and he was lying on the floor, Frank managed to hit Sirius with a well placed Bat-Bogey Hex.
Remus replied, "He got up before we did, I expect he's already down there. With Alice," he added with a smirk.
"Why are you smirking, Remie-pie?" Sirius asked.
"Remie-pie?" demanded Remus, pulling a face.
"Yes. Now answer my question."
"Can't you tell?" When the other three boys looked back at him blankly, he sighed. "It's obvious from the way he talked about her that he likes her."
"Don't friends... Usually like each other?" James asked.
"No, I meant-" Remus gave up, throwing his hands in the air. "You three are hopeless." James grinned and shoved Remus playfully.
"Ah, but you love us!" Sirius exclaimed, wrapping Remus in a hug. Remus stiffened and scowled at Sirius, who grinned up at him. James joined in the hug, and Peter did as well. Then they all shuffled off, Remus being their eyes.
"Left-no, Peter, your other left- straight, straight, STAIRS-okay, now turn right, and... Here we are! You can let go now."
"Nope!" Peter replied, popping the p. "Where shall we sit?"
James pulled them towards the table. "Now... How are we going to do this?" He considered his options. "Let's... Okay, legs up... Over... And... Okay we can't do this." They broke apart, Remus with a sigh of relief, and plopped down at the table.
"Owls!" Peter exclaimed, pointing at the ceiling. "Post is here!" James grinned up at the owls, then turned his grin to Sirius. His smile faltered when he saw Sirius, pale and sickened, eyeing one of the owls with distaste. It was a large, brown-black eagle owl; the biggest he'd ever seen. It's golden eyes glittered maliciously, but that wasn't what sent James' stomach swooping. Tied to its leg was a bright red envelope.
The owl settled down in Sirius' eggs and stuck its leg out to him. Sirius untied the letter with shaking fingers. As soon as he finished, the owl swiped one of his pieces of bacon and flew off again.
"Open it, Sirius," Peter implored. "It's worse if you don't..." Sirius slit open the letter, and sound exploded out of it.
-JOINING THE MUDBLOODS AND FILTH, HOW DARE YOU. I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DISGRACE OUR FAMILY, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU TARNISH OUR FAMILY TREE BY ASSOCIATING WITH THE EXACT PEOPLE WE WORK SO HARD AGAINST. SIRIUS ORION BLACK, IF YOU PUT A TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT. HOME. THE MOST NOBLE AND ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK-
James felt sick as he listened to Walburga Black's ringing scream, going on and on about blood traitors and how disgraceful Sirius was. It finished by spitting ink in his face and burning up. The hall was absolutely silent. James was sure he would've hear a quill drop. Sirius was glaring at the remnants of the Howler, bits of smouldering ash in his scrambled eggs. He was shaking with rage. James watched him worriedly.
"You have an owl," Sirius pointed out unexpectedly as the sound in the Great Hall rose to a deafening roar. James jumped. He had been so preoccupied with Sirius' predicament that he had failed to notice the family owl, Sammy, perched on the rim of his goblet with two letters tied to his legs. James untied him quickly, threw him the rest of his strip of bacon, and opened the heavier letter.
"What's this?" he mused, perusing the contents of the letter. "It's filled with questions and things!" he exclaimed.
"Really?" Remus asked, interested. "Read it aloud?"
"Sure! Dear Fangirls and Others
Hello! My name is SiriuslyPsychic, and I'm the author of this story. You may very well be wondering why I'm writing a letter. It is an excellent question, to those who are wondering. To those who aren't, well, I can't make you wonder, now can I?
Or can I?
Anywho, the answer to the question is that I don't believe in authors notes, but I needed a way to get to you guys. So first is an announcement, then I'm responding to some readers.
The announcement: I am completely rewriting this story. If you're new here, then great! Welcome to my world! ...technically, it belongs to JKRowling, but hey, I own plot points! So if there's anything from the old story that you didn't like, or something that you really want me to keep, or even just something you'd like to see, feel free to tell me! I'm open to prank ideas, too, so go ahead and tell me. Or if you just want me to mention you in the next letter, ask. I'll make sure you're in there.
Now, to my faithful readers:
To my very first reviewer from July 2014, TheWritingHeart: I'm so glad you like my story! I totally agree with you about Lily and Hestia at the Potters'; it was actually one of the things that originally prompted me to rewrite the story, and thank you so much for pointing that out, otherwise I might not have ever decided to rewrite.
To MSupernatural: Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and faithfulness while I was writing this back in the summer of 2014. I'm so happy you liked how James got onto the team, and the duel-which, incidentally, I am planning on keeping.
To GinnyPotterHermioneWeasley, Guest#1 (whoever you are), Doctor-Wizardly-Pineapple, not really sane fairy, luzhasswag, and yerawizardelsa: Thank you for your support, it was really nice to know that people actually liked what I wrote. It means so much to me, because you guys are strangers, you don't know who I am, and yet you're still complimenting my work. I wasn't sure that it was actually any good, but you guys pulled through. Thanks!
To Guest#2: Thank you for telling me about the seventies! It was very informative, and I'll make sure to keep that in mind when I reach that point in the story.
To Mrs. Killian Jones pureblood: I'm glad you liked my references; I wasn't sure about them, but my inner fangirl won in the end. I'm so happy that it wasn't out of place or whatever.
And, finally, to TheProductivePurplePrincess: It's great that you like it when I try to be fluffy and cute. I wasn't sure that it would really work for me, since my writing style isn't very serious to star with. It's been a point of endless anguish for my parents and teachers, since I lack the ability to look a writing assignment in the face and take it totally seriously. So I'm glad that it worked out!
I love you guys, I really do. Feel free to ask for something, and I'll do my best to incorporate your advice. To new readers, welcome! To old readers, welcome back! I hope you like my rewritten version more than the old one, and that you'll be just as awesome this time around (4,465 views is a lot more than I thought I would ever get!).
Farewell, my fans-in-arms, farewell!
SiriuslyPsychic" James finished reading. "Okay, so no questions for us, but the writer seemed robe answering some... Maybe if we get another letter like this, there will be some questions for us to answer. It would be fun!"
"I hope they give us some prank ideas," Sirius said eagerly, Howler forgotten. "I can't wait to start pranking!" James grinned at him.
"James, you have another letter," Peter reminded him thickly (he had just taken a bite of toast). James used a marmalade covered knife to slit open the next one and carefully withdrew the letter within.
Jamsie,
How are you? We miss you, but it's certainly very peaceful here. *grins* Try not to get into too much trouble, it's only your first day. We'll see you for Christmas.
Love, Mum and Dad
James smirked at the letter, certain that his father had written the first part. His mother had obviously snatched it away after that, judging by the ink streaks. And the fact that the handwriting abruptly changed from print to cursive. He folded up the letter and stuck it in his pocket, along with the other, and they made their way to their first class: Transfiguration, with the Hufflepuffs.
"Transfiguration is one of the most complex, and dangerous, magics you will learn here at Hogwarts," instructed Professor McGonagall. She was prowling back and forth at the front of the room. "Anyone messing around in my class will leave, and they won't be coming back. You have been warned." James, who had been preparing to shoot a colour-change ink pellet from his wand, hastily took said ink pellet off the tip of his wand and stuffed it back into its container. He had been looking forward to Transfiguration, ever since Ollivander had told him that his wand would be good at it.
Professor McGonagall waved her wand, and POOF, her desk was a pig. "Whoa!" James breathed. He clutched his wand and waited for her to tell them how she did it.
Alas, he was disappointed. "You are all to turn this matchstick into a needle by the end of class," she instructed, handing out matchsticks after they had taken a lot of notes (James' hand was cramping up). James pouted but took the needle and concentrated hard. As he spoke the incantation, he jabbed his wand at the matchstick. Suddenly it was all silver and pointy.
"Remus?"
"I'm trying to concentrate, James." And that he was. His face was slowly turning pink as he stared at his matchstick intently.
"But, Remus, this is important."
Remus sighed and turned to James. "What is it?"
"Is this what a needle looks like?" James held up his silvery pointy matchstick. Remus' eyes widened.
"James, how'd you do that?" he asked, taking the matchstick and examining it. "And, to answer your question, yes, this is what a needle looks like," he added with a smirk, handing it back and then performing the spell himself. James stuck his tongue out at him, but was startled by a yelp from Professor McGonagall.
She rushed over to their table, and James opened his mouth to tell her about his needle, but she ran straight past him, stopping abruptly in front of Sirius and snatching his matchstick from him. A tiny flame danced at the top.
"Mr. Black, can you recall what I told you at the beginning of class?"
"...yes."
"And, what did I say?"
Sirius mumbled something, hiding behind his shaggy black hair.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."
Sirius looked her squarely in the eye and stated, "Anyone who messes around in your class will be asked to leave, and they won't be invited to return."
"Correct. However, since today is your first lesson, I will allow you to stay-" Sirius began to look hopeful, "-if you can demonstrate the spell." Sirius shrugged.
Jabbing his wand at the smouldering matchstick, he clearly pronounced the incantation, and the matchstick morphed into a melted-looking needle. Professor McGonagall held it up to the light. "Well done, Mr. Black. Has anyone else managed the spell?" Both James and Remus raised their hands, then looked around to see if anyone else had. Evans. That was it. Professor McGonagall collected up their needles and examined each one thoroughly before awarding twenty points to Gryffindor.
"That was fun!" James said, his eyes aglow with excitement. "I've never been to a school before, or gotten homework. Remus, what's homework like?" James liked saying it. Homework. It was new and exciting.
"It's just like it sounds," Remus replied, briskly walking up to a second year and asking where the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Coming back, he continued, "It's class work, but outside of class. And it's typically written."
Sirius cautiously asked, "Meaning...?"
"It's not practical. It's in the form of a written assignment," he explained, seeing the confusion written on their faces.
James' eyes widened in excitement. "Cool! I've never gotten a written assignment before!" Remus smirked and opened the door, leading the way to the seats in the very back corner.
Soon, the classroom was filled with Gryffindors and Slytherins; Slytherins keeping to the right side of the room, Gryffindors on the left. James noticed that Evans was seated on the front most desk farthest to the right on their side of the aisle, and Snivellus was seated on the other side of the aisle.
The door creaked open, slowly, tension building as the first years craned their necks to get their first proper look at the wizard teaching probably the most important class they would have. James was disappointed, and he saw his sentiments reflected on every single crest-fallen face in the room.
Professor John Stevenson looked like-and there is no better comparison-a turtle. A very old, very bald, very wrinkly turtle. Professor Stevenson was small and frail-looking, his shoulders hunched over with age. His face was etched with lines deeper than Cheddar Gorge, his lips pulled in over what James was sure were dentures, and large, round bifocals were perched on the bridge of his beaky-looking nose. The entire turtle-y appearance was topped off spectacularly by the swamp-green robes he wore, robes that trailed behind him because they were too long.
Dear Merlin, James thought sadly. He even moves slowly. And that he did; he took short, shuffling steps through the centre aisle towards the front of the room. How is he supposed to teach us to defend ourselves, if he can't even run? James could see his thoughts echoed on Sirius, Remus, and Peter's faces as their eyes followed Professor Stevenson's slow gait.
When he finally reached the teacher's desk at the very front of the room, he turned painstakingly lethargically and peered around at them all through his thick lenses. James took off his own circular glasses for a second, to make sure they weren't as thick as Professor Stevenson's, and pushed them hastily back onto his face.
Professor Stevenson licked his lips, opened his mouth, exposing what James hoped were gums, and began to speak at the same pace as the rest of him; sluggishly. "My name... Is John Stevenson. I am here to... Teach you all... To defend yourselves against... What is out there." James raised his hand eagerly. "Yes, Mr...?"
"Potter, sir. I was just wondering, what exactly is out there? I mean, I got the gist of it, but I want to know exactly what we're up against."
Professor Stevenson studied James through his bifocals carefully before replying, "There are Dark Forces everywhere, Mr. Potter. What is out there today... Is no different than... Any other point in time." James could feel the lie, but he didn't say anything. His mother's written words flashed through his mind, Try not to get into too much trouble, it's only your first day. And Sirius' mother's screams, IF YOU PUT A TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT. HOME. James merely nodded and sat back in his chair. The old man-seriously, how does one even get to live that old?-continued. "Therefore, it is my job... To not only cover certain Dark Creatures... But also to teach you some basic counter-curses, jinxes, hexes, and antidotes... Should you ever... Need them." He glanced at them all drearily, then instructed them to take out their notebooks, quills, and ink.
"Oh, dear Merlin," Sirius groaned in relief as soon as they stepped into the bustling crowds, which were such a stark contrast to the monotonous classroom they had just exited. "I think my brain keeled over and died due to an overload of boring."
"It wasn't that bad," protested Remus steadfastly.
Peter piped up, "Just cause you think all teachers are saints-"
"Do not!"
"Do too!" Peter insisted. "You had this expression on your face, your eyes were all big and shiny and your mouth was half open, it was like you where seeing-" he switched his voice to a dreamy, fluffy falsetto- "-an angel coming down from the clouds, in a white robe, with big fluffy wings-" Peter squeaked and ran as Remus lunged for him, but did so on his tiptoes, his arms extended like a ballerina. James and Sirius roared with laughter.
"I hope the other classes aren't that dull," Sirius sighed, sitting down and piling his dinner plate with everything he could reach. "What about you?"
"I think he was hiding something," James replied firmly. Sirius looked at him quizzically, but said nothing. His cheeks were stuffed with potato, so James was grateful. However, another person sat down across from him.
"You thought so too?" James looked around to find Evans sitting across from him, putting a nice, healthy portion of salad (of all the things she could have had!). She watched him expectantly.
"Yeah." James helped himself to shepherd's pie. "I mean, my dad's an Auror, and my mum's a Healer-"
"A what and a what?" James looked her squarely in the eye. She's got to be pulling my leg... Oh dear, no she's not.
"Like... Um... Law enforcement and medicine?" James looked to Remus for conformation. Remus nodded. James continued, "Anyhow, they bring their work home with them sometimes, so, yeah, I'm pretty sure Stevenson is hiding something." Evans nodded, picked up her plate, and left to join some other girls.