Hopefully you dont hate me after this chapter. I don't own Matchbox 20 or AA. REVIEW! PLEASE
I had calmed down, finally.
Lara was kind and supportive, exactly what I needed. She sat across from me in one of the old chairs my mom had picked out so many years ago. She had made me some earl grey tea and got me tissues.
"I'm going to level with you, you cheated. It happened. I have no place to tell you, you shouldn't. I did it in the past and we learn that we make mistakes. Give Austin some time, he will come around as for right now. You need a drink, so let's go somewhere with style," she said, her composure made me relaxed. She seemed so sure that it was going to work out for me.
I really needed that from someone.
We went to the country club, but not before we stopped by my house and I got changed. It helped, she wouldn't let me wear anything that was too flashy or heels that were too high. We finally agreed on a high-necked white dress that stopped mid thigh and a grey over coat with nude heels. She did my hair in a classy bun and fixed my makeup.
She interlocked arms with me as we walked in, waving casually to some of her friends that I recognized from the wedding but she didn't stop to say hi. We made it to the desk, she gave a quick order to the desk guy, "Private table on the oceanfront, please."
"Yes Mrs. Dawson."
We strolled out to the table and ordered two dry martinis, "No use in getting wasted. Only works when he broke your heart."
Somehow she seemed to dispel what I thought of her in the past. She was pretty cool, she ordered me drinks and cut it short and sweet. She gave me the truth.
"So tell me about your band," the conversation had moved here after I told her about hooking up with James.
"Well we have been getting more popular, it happened after Austin basically stopped caring about the team and all. And I had all these songs I wrote after he left so I talked to my friend Delilah. She set me up with the guys and we started making music. We have a gig tonight-shit."
"Language," she scolded, a smile playing at her lips. She took a sip of her drink, "What's the matter?"
"I forgot to go to the meeting, do you have a phone? I kind of threw mine into a field," she calmly pulled out her and handed it to me.
I dialed Delilah and waited for her to pick up. It went to voicemail, I bit back the swear word I was urged to say. Instead I dialed James, that didn't work either. I blew out a frustrated breath. Lara pointed at my martini, I finished it off then dialed Tim, he answered. I sighed in relief.
"Tim, its Ally," I said.
"Hey Als, where are you?"
"Look I've had a rough day but I'll be there tonight. We are doing the new song so tell the guys and have Delilah or James fill in for me."
We said our goodbyes and Lara smiled at me, "That'a girl."
We finished up there around four, we didn't get drunk a bit tipsy but the conversation drifted back and forth from one thing to another. But we had made a plan. That would start tonight.
She drove me back to my apartment and I changed again. This time she wouldn't settle until I was every mans' wet dream. Her own words, mind you. We picked out an distressed oversized denim jacket with patches, a floral strapless top, high waisted denim shorts, and black ankle boot heels with spikes.
We re-did my hair so it was pulled back on the sides so the curls at the top looked like a Mohawk. She did my makeup with dark black cat eyes and red lipstick.
"Kind of heroin glam but more long of the lines as bad bitch," she mumbled while she finished up my makeup.
"Language Mrs. Dawson," I joked nudging her with my shoulder.
"Give me a break I'm fifty something years old Mrs. Fowl-Mouth," she nudged me back and steps back to look at her work.
"Well we better get a move on," she says as she walks out of the bathroom. I follow her lead and head off to grab my purse.
We reached the slightly less dingy bar on the other side of town later than I'd hope. We were going to be on in ten minutes. I already knew the band would be pissed. We went in through the back, getting a few odd glances. Mostly because Lara hadn't changed from the country club and I was decked out in black grudgie clothes. We walked through the back room to side stage where the guys were waiting with Delilah.
"Where in fucks name have you been Dawson?" Michael whispered yelled at me when i finally reached them.
Lara sighed and rubbed my back, "I think I'm going to go get a drink."
She walked off leaving me with four pairs of angry eyes.
"Sorry, I've had a hard couple of days," I explain, Delilah sighed and offered me a sympathetic smile.
"Well we are on in ten minutes, I'll let you go over it with James," Delilah sighed pulled Michael and Tim to the side.
"James, I'm so sorry I left this all up to you," I apologized, he shook his had and shrugged.
"It's all good Als, you should know the song. Also, all we need from you today is to sing with everything you got. We never know whose listening," he smirked and winked. He walked over to the others while I took a moment to gather my thoughts. With all my heart, I didn't know how well I could do that.
My ten minutes were short lived, I hadn't been nervous about going on stage in a very long time. For some reason the song felt a lot more personal. Past the blinding lights I saw that the bar was filled with people, I spotted Lara sitting with Delilah. They gave me a thumbs up and i regained my shake breathing. While my breath was even I walked over to the mike.
"Hey guys, thanks for coming out tonight. We are Nameless and this is Long Day," I said evenly then turned and nodded to James.
"It's sitting by the overcoat, the second shelf, the note you wrote. That I can't bring myself to throw away."
Like clockwork, the song went as it should. After they began to play behind me, the song took over. It was one of the songs I had written a year ago and I thought I'd hear it live. I kept my singing level for the beginning and as the song grew and became more chaotic so did my singing. I didn't lose control I just sang my heart out. The audience saw this because we got a standing ovation.
After our set we went back stage and began, "Holy shit Ally! We didn't know you sang like that."
It was Tim, he had wide smile that lit up his face. James, Michael, and Tim drew me into a group hug.
"i want to do this every night," I giggled, still reeling from the adrenaline.
We pulled away when Delilah came rushing over to us with a man in a clean cut suit.
"Ally baby!"
"A clean cut smile to go with a clean cut suit! Well look at you Mr. Captin Sir," I joked turning to face my boss.
"Um Want to introduce us?" Michael asked from behind me.
"This is Andy Captin, a.e. my boss, and owner of all the Sailors Clubs in the U.S." I explained, my boss chuckled.
"Oh Ally you speak so highly of me. She's my best employee. Nice to meet you all," he shook their hands individually.
"Ally I wanted to ask you and this wonderful band something," he smiled, always so business like.
"And?" I asked smirking at him, "We don't have all night."
Delilah gave me a horrified expression, but my boss threw head back and laughed.
"Ms. Dawson if you don't watch your mouth, I will fire you," there was humor in his eyes and i rolled my eyes.
"Okay Mr. Boss man, but what will you do when I leave," I bit my lip.
He shook his head, "If I had it my way. You'd be CEO."
"Well I came back here because I wanted to know if Nameless wanted to play in a gathering of bands. Its potential talented bands that are going to play one song and there will be reps from record companies. So you will have a chance to be signed."
I was speechless, it was so overwhelming.
"Wow, thank you so much Mr. Captin," It was James, disbelief etched on his face.
"Don't thank me, thank you for the music," he smiled at James, who looked like he was about to pass out.
"I'll see you tomorrow night Sweet Ally. We have that other part of the evaluation," he winked and stride away from us.
"Holy shit!" Tim yelled, he picked me up and swung me around.
"Lets do it!" Michael and James urged, they knew I'd be the last on board.
"Give me time to think, but I will practice some new songs for it. BUT I don't know yet," i really wanted to but there was way too much was going on.
I left with Lara, well I drove her home. When we got back to the house, my dad was shocked that we had spent the day together. I tucked her into bed then wrote a long thank you card.I just wanted to be in my own bed in my shitty apartment. There were boxes that I needed to move into storage agian, now that I had found all my song books. I nudged them out of my way and peeled of my clothes as I went. I found an old high school sweatshirt then snuggled into my bed.
It was requested to me at three o'clock that we wear all black to the Evaluation at Work today. It was simple enough but I spent most of the day writing songs and hiding in a blanket. Eventually at four I called Margy and she cam over. We grabbed coffee with Seth and got ready.
Work started at eight and we are in the V.I.P. room as usual. I saw Andy and nodded, he nodded in return.
It went smoothly as always and it came time for final evaluation.
Seth, perfect drinks and pay raise.
Margy, sexy and perfect and pay raise.
"Allison," he smiled and took my hand. he brought to his lips, before dropping in and folding his arms behind his back.
"You will always be my favorite employee but sadly I am firing you because you need to do something and it's not this.
"Marge you are promoted to manager, and Ally please contact me soon for your benefits."
Seth and Marge were surprised but i was completely calm. I was already planning to quit, he just made it easier. With that he walked out of the room without saying another word. We walked in silence to the back room, I unlocked my office and gathered my few belongings and put them in my bag. There was a knock, Marge was standing just outside the door.
"You don't have to knock this is your office Miss Manager," I smiled. We didn't say too much she just pulled me into a hug.
"What are we going to do without you?" she asked, pulling away and looked at me.
I shrugged, "Well I haven't been working as much as I used to so technically you already know."
She rolled her eyes, "Im going to miss you."
"I'm just down the street Marge," i said, but we both knew it was an end of an era and I wouldn't be in here a lot.
There was another knock, Seth smiled awkwardly for disturbing us. I walked over to him and pulled him in for a hug.
"Dennys?" I suggested, we all smiled and gathered our things.
We were locking up when Marge pointed out the silver Jaguar.
"Fuck," I mumbled under my breath. Austin was leaning against looking like roman statue.
"Give me a second," I half heartedly mumbled towards Seth and Marge.
i kept my head up when I approached him but avoided his gaze.
"Hi," I signed.
"Hey I guess I should keep this short," he said, I looked up to him. He seemed frazzled from this distance, like something was off.
"Shoot," i deadpanned.
"I think we need to talk," he said, "I'm thinking tomorrow night."
"Sounds good, what do you have going on?" I asked, curiosity. Please don't be a meeting with a record company.
"I have to plan wedding stuff with Dez," he explained.
I nodded, "Sounds good."
"So my place lets say seven."
I nodded avian, "Sounds good."
We said good bye then I met back with Marge and Seth who were looking a little shocked.
They dragged me to Dennys then made me spill the beans. It was easier this time because I already opened up to Lara.
"You should go to his house early and cook him dinner!" Marge offered, giddy with her idea.
"I think I'll do that," I smiled. I'd cook him his favorite dinner then we could talk.
[BREAK]
We met at the loft the next morning, the guys and Delilah were anticipating the songs I had put together.
Three songs later we were all already fed up. I shuffled through my pile of songs and looked over to the band. They were all sprawled out on the floor. James held his guitar to his chest, Tim and thrown aside his drum sticks and Michael laid down next to his base. I rose they watched me carefully as I walked to the piano. There was one song i wanted to try but it wasn't exactly happy or upbeat.
I down and put the sheet music. I played the original piano version I had written, my voice was quiet and nervous but slowly one my one the guys and Delilah sat up and listened intently. I finished the song and wiped away the few tears that had fallen onto my cheeks.
James looked down at his guitar then back at me, "That's the song."
I sniffled and laughed, "Back story, I wrote that, I think, six months after Austin left and I started to change drastically. I kinda wrote like I was talking to the old me then transitioning into me as the speaker. It's lame."
"No it's beautiful," Michael insisted. I nodded, the guys surrounded the piano and i showed the other version where it picked up just little and it was covered by guitar and not piano.
They picked up the song quickly and soon they memorized it. We cleaned up and I sent them home with a copy of the song.
I pulled Delilah over and told her the plan for tonight, she broke into a smile and handed me her keys.
"Go get him Ally Cat," she kissed my check and sent me off. I stopped by the grocery store and picked up the outfit I laid out before heading down to his house. I wasn't a great cook but I managed to make a pretty snazzy dinner.
I made salmon and rice with asparagus and lime. And pancakes for desert. i went upstairs and applied some makeup and curled my hair and pulled on a little blackness black dress and Austin's favorite heels.
It was almost seven and I set out some red wine and waited.
and waited.
and waited.
and waited.
Eight o'clock I got a phone call, no Austin got a phone call. I picked up his office phone.
"Hello?" I answered sweetly.
"Hello Austin? It's Jimmy."
"Austin isn't here right now. May I take a message?"
"Tell Austin he needs to tell the team about his deal."
"Jimmy?"
"He confirmed today at four."
"Confirmed what?"
"The deal Ally."
Nine o'clock I had opened the bottle of red wine and poured my self a sizable glass.
Ten o'clock I had eaten my plate and polished off a bottle of wine, and then drank a shit ton of water.
Eleven o'fucking'clock I'm sober again when a very drunk, very loud, Austin comes falling into the front door. At least thats what I hear. I'm in the dining room off of the Kitchen. He stumbles into there and sees me.
"Hey Baby!" he slurs.
I dont say a word, I silently gather my shoes which I had taken off earlier and walked passed him to walk up the stairs.
"Ally?" he questioned, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
i ignored him but he followed me, I was mad but holding back. I got the rest of my belongings in the guest bedroom, he stood in the door way with a puzzled expression.
"Baby what's the matter?" he whispered.
Hot tears slid down my cheeks, "Don't call me baby. I'm not your baby."
He looked shock from my out burst, I ignored it and pushed past him.
"Ally wait!" I hurried down the stairs but he caught my arm.
"Please stay," he whispered. His eyes searched mine for any crack in exterior. I almost flattered but I could smell the alcohol on him.
"Give me one good reason I should stay," I whispered. He frowned and pushed my hair from my face to hold it.
"Because I love you," he whispered leaning his forehead against mine.
My heart jumped but I couldn't stop hearing Jimmy, "You're drunk."
I yanked myself from his grip and walked out the door. I was too upset to be sad. I kept my back to the door but once I got into my car I saw him standing in the door way. I pushed down the overwhelming dread and pulled out of his driveway.
I drove down the country road, I turned off the music and just listened to myself breathe. I hated driving this late.
I got back to my building and asked the front desk for a phone. I called Delilah firstly, she answered on the fifth ring.
"Hey, it's Ally. I'm all in, tell the guys and see you tomorrow at the loft."
"Fuck yah! Night babe."
"Goodnight."
[Break]
Second day in a row we met at the loft and practiced the song. I didn't sing, I wanted to hold in my emotions until tonight and to protect my voice. It was a fairly quick day, the nerves were jumping around by four and by then we all decided to get dressed then meet up at the loft, load the van, and head to the higher end of Miami.
I decided to wear the backless dress from last night and my heels, I did more dramatic makeup and curled my hair into loose curls that I left down. When we meet up it was all the same thing, we had dressed nicer than we had for any other gig.
Everyone who was anything in music was there, producers, musicians, writers, and of course reps that wore name tags as guides to whom worked for what. Likewise, the members of our band wore name tags, and after four minutes arguing on what we called ourselves we decided on Nameless. Andy was the first to greet us and walked us around, apparently the biggest club owners were there too. We were a good group, no alcohol before the show only water, we watched two other bands order drink after drink at the open bar. The reps wrote this down too, I felt like I was in high school again.
Around nine everyone was shuffled to the main stage area and sat down at table, an announcer would call up a group, introduce the members and the band. We were fourth. We listened to three bands, all whom were great and finally it was our turn.
My heart was in my throat. We stood in front of the audience as they introduced us, and while they were introducing our name my heart stopped. A familiar mop of blonde hair and hazel eyes walked in the door. My breath flattered immediately. I reached for James and Tim's hands, we all interlinked hands and gave a reassuring squeeze before going to our respective instruments.
He watched me carefully from the back of the room, disbelief and anger etched on his face. It felt like an eternity before I got the nod from James.
I took a shaky breath, "This song is Push."
"She said "I don't know if I've ever been good enough.
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in.
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me, and I feel like something's gonna give.
And I'm a little bit angry"
Tears stung my eyes but I held back and closed them so I wouldn't have to see him.
Well, this ain't over.
No not here, not while I still need you around.
You don't owe me, we might change.
Yeah we just might feel good
I wanna push you around
Well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down
Well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, well I will
She said "I don't know why you ever would lie to me,
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya.
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me,
You couldn't stand to be near me when my face don't seem to want to shine
'Cause it's a little bit dirty"
Well, don't just stand there
Say nice things to me,
'Cause I've been cheated, I've been wronged.
And you, you don't know me
I can't change, I won't do anything at all.
I wanna push you around
Well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down
Well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, well I will
Oh, but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute, well I kinda fell apart
Things get so crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby
Don't rush this baby, baby, baby
I wanna push you around
Well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down
Well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you, take you
Yeah, well I will, I will, I will, I will, yeah
Well I will, I will, I will, yeah
Push you around
I wanna push you around
Well I willi, I finished.
The room erupted with applause, I couldn't help but smile. The rest of the band joined me at the front and we walked off together. Andy handed me three business cards with record companies printed on them.
"This was after the first part of your performance," he beamed. I showed the guys and silently air fisted. We went to our table, I was till feeling light headed so I excused myself and headed towards the bathroom.
I was walking down the hall from the banquet room when someone grabbed my arm. I whirled around to see Austin.
"The fuck was that Ally," he sneered, tightening his grip.
"Singing," i yanked my arm back and took a step away from him.
"You've been lying to us," he spat.
I laughed, "I've been lying. Me? Are you drunk again Austin. You've been lying to all of us for god knows how long!"
"Yes but this is serious, someone may want to sign. What about Trish and Dez? Team Austin and Ally?" he lowered his voice, but every ounce of anger was still in it.
"You selfish son of a bitch. So signing a contract yesterday, that wasn't serious?" I started.
"How'd you know about …." he trailed off before I interrupted his thoughts.
"Jimmy called me. Jimmy and I don't even get along but he had enough decency to tell me. And what about Trish and Dez, when do you plan on telling them about you're whole deal. Trish still thinks she's your manger. And what Team Austin and Ally? You mean Team Austin?" I called him on everyone of his bluffs, he opened his mouth to speak.
"I'll tell Trish and Dez about you're so called band."
I snorted, "Oh no! What are you? Five? Go ahead tell on me."
He laughed, like he thought he was winning, "You've been lying."
"You forgot something very important Austin. Would they be mad about you lying to us? Or madder at me for not talking about something, you guys never asked about?"
"What are you saying Ally?" he took a step away from me.
"You tell them about this, and I tell them about your deal."
Love Mimi.
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