"Mr. Wayne, welcome…" said Lucius Fox, whose warm expression dropped noticeably into shock as he saw what Bruce Wayne was wearing.
"How ya doing, pally?" chuckled Joker, clapping him on the back. "How's the family? All still alive and kicking, I hope? Most families in Gotham aren't so lucky, y'know, especially the Police Commissioner's, what with that handsome psychopath the Joker on the loose!"
"Um…yes…Mr. Wayne, are you feeling all right?" asked Lucius, slowly.
"Never felt better in my life, sport!" laughed Joker. "I'm feeling like a new man, with a lotta fresh, new ideas to pitch to the board! It's time we used my fortune to do some real good for this city, y'know, like Mom and Pop would've wanted."
"I'm sure your parents would be proud of the outstanding work you've already done, Mr. Wayne, in terms of rebuilding the poorer areas of Gotham, and your investment in projects for its future…" began Lucius.
"No, see, that's boring, small-thinking stuff!" interrupted Joker, waving his hand. "We're gonna think big from now on, pal! Real, real big! Supersize, like those fast food meals! Speaking of which, why doncha you go pick up some of those for me and rest of the board, huh?" he asked, reaching into his pocket and handing Lucius a wad of cash. "Think we could all use a happy meal, judging by those serious faces in there!" he giggled, entering the board room.
The board members murmured their greetings to Bruce, exchanging apprehensive looks with each other. "Did you just get back from a trip to the tropics, Mr. Wayne?" asked one.
"Nope, but I'm declaring it casual Friday!" chuckled Joker, leaning back in his chair and propping his legs up on the table. "Or, y'know, casual Wednesday. So what's new here?"
"Well, accounting has reported that profits have increased by 2.6 percent, adjusting for inflation, which resulted in a gross quarterly yield of…"
"Blah, blah, blah!" interrupted Joker, waving his hand. "I didn't come here to listen to a buncha boring numbers and figures! I came here to give some orders! This is my company, and I want us to start on a new project pronto!"
"Of course, Mr. Wayne, whatever you want," said one of the members, and the others murmured their agreement.
"Great! Then here's my vision," said Joker, leaning forward. "Giant, solid gold Joker statue," he said, spreading his hands at each word.
The board members were silent, staring at him in horror. "And when I say giant, I mean giant!" continued Joker. "I want it taller than the highest skyscraper in this town, towering over everything, something you can see from space!"
"Mr. Wayne…the Joker is a psychotic murderer who has caused widespread terror in this city for years," said one member, slowly. "Why would we want to build a statue to him?"
"Because think about what you just said – it's a great joke!" chuckled Joker. "And because the guy deserves some public recognition for all his hard work and effort over the years. You think all those crazy schemes and mass murder was easy? Fun yes, easy no."
"Sir, this is going to be a hugely unpopular idea," said another member.
"I don't have to be popular – I'm rich!" retorted Joker.
"You won't be rich for long if you go ahead with this," continued the board member. "Nobody is going to want to deal with a company that would build a monument to a known terrorist!"
"Hey, he ain't a terrorist!" snapped Joker. "Terrorists are no fun! He's a comical genius, with a wicked sense of humor that not everyone is smart enough to appreciate! But we at Wayne Enterprises have taste, and we ain't gonna let the opinions of a buncha boring sad sacks influence it!"
"We're going to go bankrupt," said the same member.
"Look, it's not gonna cost all my billions to build one statue," retorted Joker. "Even a solid gold one. And as for afterwards, don't worry! I'm gonna arrange a little surprise for the unveiling that'll make sure everything goes off with a bang!" he giggled. "So somebody get in touch with an architect, and we'd better start importing some melted gold, huh? Unless we got any in the vaults we can just melt ourselves – might as well save money where we can!" he chuckled.
"Mr. Wayne, I would have thought after your personal experience with the criminals of this city that you'd be the last person to do something like this," said one of the board members, quietly. "You of all people know what a huge problem crime is in Gotham, and we should be trying to lessen it, not celebrate it."
"Oh, lighten up, moron!" snapped Joker. "Crime is hilarious, especially the Joker's crimes! I'm sorry you can't see the funny side!"
"But sir, your parents…" reminded the board member.
"They died like what, thirty years ago?" demanded Joker. "Time to get over it and move on, huh? Geez, why would anybody spend their whole life brooding over something that happened ages ago! Even the worms who ate their corpses have forgotten about them by now! A family tragedy is like a bad breakup – have a few drinks and a little cry if you gotta, and then get yourself back out on the market and find a new family! But I certainly ain't gonna let something that happened that long ago control the rest of my life – what kinda pathetic person does that?"
"Sir, I've got the fast food, as requested," said Lucius, returning with a tray of brown paper sacks.
"Great, thanks – I'll take mine to go," said Joker, standing up and grabbing one. "I've got better things to do with my time than listen to a bunch of gloomy naysayers. Just get to work on the new project – I want it done as quickly as possible. I don't know how long I'll be here like this, and I wanna make sure I'll see the fruits of my labor before I go, including the unveiling surprise. Well, toodles!" he chuckled, heading for the door and munching on the burger.
The door closed, and the board just stared at each other in horrified silence. "What did I miss?" asked Lucius.