It takes a sweet while for the Norse to process the holy fire failure, but the moment the realization hits Frigga looses it, starting to scream incoherently and curse Kali, while Hoder just lets his mother´s rant wash over himself with the air of someone having to put up with this all the time, concentrating instead on pressing the blade on Gabriel´s throat just hard enough to break the skin, but not so hard as to cause real damage. It doesn´t work too well, because Gabriel is still moving much more than advisable someone in his situation and his movements are incredibly hard to predict for the blind God.
Gabriel doesn´t do that intentionally of course, no one would be that much of an idiot, but somehow he still can´t stop laughing from pure relief that he is not going to be burned to a crisp and that Balthazar has escaped. He is feels way too lightheaded, almost stoned, which would at least explain why he laughs even harder, when he realizes the oil is still burning and the fire is slightly tickling his wings.
Just seconds ago he was absolutely terrified that he was going to being burned alive and now he is laughing about fire burning less than half an inch above his wings tickling him. Of course it´s fire that can´t hurt him, but it still plays into his new "I-got-stoned-with-Balthazar-on-the-divans,-the-rest-never-happened" theory.
That theory would at least offer an explanation concerning why Michael and the other angels didn´t react to his agony and apologies at all. Not that he can really ask anything of his brother anymore, after selfishly causing him such agony- he thinks of Balthazar´s lying motionless in the rubble again and his breath hitches painfully-, but still… It would have been nice to have his brothers still care about him a bit at least. Just...nice.
He abruptly stops laughing at these thoughts, almost exactly when Frigga yells at Hoder to shut him up, thereby giving her unintentionally a sense of achievement. Well, he´ll correct her about that one later, when his heart stops feeling like he got in contact with holy fire after all.
He forces himself to think about something positive. Like Balthazar escaping. Yes, that´s a good one. His little brother got away and he can´t help but grin at the thought. No matter what Frigga and Hoder will do to him now, they have lost their leverage against him and he has the best kind of positive thought to cling to. Which means they have already lost.
His thoughts must have been a tiny bit obvious, because Frigga slaps him across the face threatening that they will get Balthazar back and let him suffer twice as much for running away, but the threats are so unrealistic and obviously for show, that Gabriel barely listens. Balthazar is out of reach. He knows it. Frigga knows it. She would probably have slapped him anyway for one thing or another. So best just wait for an opportunity and don´t tempt the Norse too much to use the two angel blades, they have taken from him and Balthazar, because while the thought of being cut by angel blades doesn´t invoke the same uncontrollable panic as holy fire does, that stuff can still kill him.
As if he had read his thoughts, Hoder decides he can speak once more today, without getting struck by lightening, or whatever the blind God is afraid will happen to him, if he dares say more than Baldur does. "We should kill him now"
There it is, plain and simple, the reason why Hoder is way more scary and dangerous than Frigga and Baldur. The two of them are drama queens, who like far too much to make a big show and hear themselves talk, thereby easy to turn into a villain-talks,-while-hero-escapes cliche.
Hoder barely talks at all and if he wants to kill someone, he simply does it right there and then, without making a show of it or allowing for some kind of last chance. The only reason why he hasn´t killed Gabriel immediately is, as Gabriel realizes now, that he is desperate for attention and approval from his mother, who only ever looks at Baldur, taking her other son for granted, or even seeing him as a constant risk. The holy fire plan, definitely wasn´t from Hoder, but he would have done it, even if Frigga hadn´t showed up again, just to please her.
And isn´t that the shittiest and most relatable thing in the world, trying to please a parent at all cost, because no matter how silent and creepy Hoder is, burring every emotion inside, he still is a person in need of someone to look at him and say "Well done" once in a while.
Gabriel wonders how Michael would behave, if their Father were constantly with them, but only giving His attention to one of them, Michael not being the chosen one.
He wonders how he himself would behave.
Frigga doesn´t react at all to her son´s objection at first and when she finally does, she smiles at him and says: "We can wait till Baldur has recovered enough to do it. At least like that it can be your brother´s kill, it should have always been his, don´t you think?"
No, Gabriel thinks angrily, not even sure why he reacts so violently to Frigga´s reasoning, as if she were neglecting him. He should be on Frigga´s side, since waiting for Baldur will stall more time and with Hodor in control, he would have been dead the moment he pulled Balthazar out of the rubble, allowing the blind god to sneak up on him. It´s just a stupid story, but if you take it for face value, I shouldn´t be Baldur´s to kill. Yes, Baldur is the one who ends up dead, but he isn´t the victim, not really.
Because there is a second lesson he learned that horrible moment when he thought Balthazar was dead.
Death is nothing against the crippling guilt that comes with accidentally killing someone you love.
But Hoder doesn´t say anything against his mother, just hauling Gabriel up to his feet and throwing him against Frigga. "Then I´ll get him now" he announces, ignoring his mother´s protest about how he should give his wounded brother some time alone and vanishing presumably to Asgard.
"Your little bird is leaving the nest?", Gabriel taunts, when he is alone with Frigga. "About time too. You try so hard to keep them under your wing, I´ll not be surprised, if he shots you in the back one day, just to be free. And frankly, he´ll be right about tha...OW!"
He has hoped that getting Frigga angry would offer him an opening to escape, but she seems to be more careful after Balthazar, instead making a deep cut into his right arm with the angel blade.
"You are my son´s to kill", Frigga says infuriatingly calm "but that doesn´t mean I can´t get my revenge too"
…
When Balthazar surfaces again, the pain is gone and his grace feels intact, but the corridor is empty, expect for Castiel, who is still kneeling next to him. "What happened? Where is Raphael? Where is Kali? Where is everyone?", he gasps out, just to find Castiel´s palm pressed against his forehead and an artificial calm running through him, drowning out his sudden fear.
Castiel doesn´t comment on the almost panic attack, just looks questioningly at his brother and when the other Balthazar nods to confirm that he is fine and that it won´t happen again, the younger angel takes his hand away and says: "Raphael got called by Michael, together with some of the others, the rest are back on duty. I think Kali broke, but I didn´t really see what happened. I don´t know if I want to"
"You definitely don´t want to", Balthazar says decisively, his thoughts already racing. So either Kali didn´t break and Michael got so radical, he didn´t want everyone to see it, or did something like bringing in Naomi, that would basically amount to the same thing, or Kali broke and the others are already off searching for Gabriel.
Which means he has to get himself together quickly, because he definitely wants to be there at Gabriel´s rescue. Not just to see to Gabriel being alright – although he absolutely needs to do that too obviously– but also to tell his brother that the presence of the other angels is okay and that he doesn´t need to go back to heaven if he doesn´t want to, to prevent Gabriel from panicking and blindly running again. He just hopes he is right about Gabriel´s going back to heaven being a choice.
"Do you know where Michael went?", he asks Castiel. "The garden", the younger angel answers, without hesitating. Balthazar doubts that someone officially told that to him, but then, the archangels aren´t exactly hard to find over the bond and the younger one often trace them over it, even though Michael usually gets upset, when someone uses it to follow him.
"Thank you. Now just stay here and I´ll look into this", he tells Castiel, only to be met by a frown. "You want to find Gabriel", his brother states. "I understand that, but Raphael told me, to take care of you till this is over and I say you were gravely injured and should rest for a while" "Well, if you want to take care of me, guess you´ll have to follow me", Balthazar grins, fearing for one second that he has gone to far, when he sees Castiel´s expression. Little Cassie would have followed him everywhere without a second thought, but little Cassie got killed by being brainwashed way too many times and while he has had some indications that there are still traces of the old Castiel left, the controlled part should still be stronger and could kick his ass right now.
He can barely believe his luck, or marvel appropriately at Castiel´s continuous resistance against reeducation, when his little brother joins him, after only a few seconds of hesitation. "I barely remember Gabriel", Castiel confesses, while they make their way to the garden "but what I remember is good" Balthazar clenches his fists without being aware of it, because Castiel should really have those memories and it is a miracle that he still has any left with how he has been treated, but he manages a little smile nonetheless. "Don´t you worry", he tells his brother. "You´ll get to make enough memories of him, after we´ve rescued him"
Balthazar´s memories of the garden are fuzzy to say the least. There is one of him being very young and rolling in the grass all day, gasping with laughter, because Gabriel thought it a great idea to start a tickle war. There is one of a race with a few angels of his age, but since two of them died in Lucifer´s rebellion and one joined Lucifer, that memory always comes with mixed feelings. His most treasured one, involves him, Gabriel, a waterfall and a very soaked Michael and that one is really great, but there isn´t much more than those three memories and that´s kind of depressing.
Actually there is a fourth one, of The Day, when Gabriel went missing after the Michael-Lucifer prize fight and Balthazar searched for his brother for hours, desperate and afraid, only to have his last hopes crushed and fall into total devastation for a few days. He refused to believe that Gabriel was dead, no matter what anyone told him and ignoring that there was a body, the archangels were sure was legit, but he still missed his brother enormously.
He is strangely angry at Naomi, for not taking that fourth memory from him. He could have done without that one.
Stepping into the garden again after what seems like eternity and without permission is frightening and exciting at the same time. He doesn´t remember enough to make good comparisons about how the garden has or might have changed, but he recognizes that old feeling of peace and safety almost immediately, wrapping itself around him like a security blanket.
Home.
He had forgotten he actually has a home.
He looks at Castiel, who is silently taking in his surroundings, a smile slowly forming on his face and his eyes visibly brightening. It´s far from the unbound joy he radiated as a fledgling seeing earth for the first time, this is far more silent and serene, but the joy is there nonetheless, hidden in layers and layers of reeducation induced solemnity, but still there and that´s what really matters.
"Last one on the hill is a demon", Balthazar suddenly shouts, feeling like his body belongs to someone else, someone younger, someone without worries and the next moment they are chasing each other like they used to do as fledglings, the whole world forgotten for one blessed moment, which ends rather quickly, when someone out of nowhere grabs Balthazar´s collar and yanking him back violently.
"What in Father´s name do you think you are doing?", Michael hisses to his ear and it takes Balthazar one very surreal moment to realize that this isn´t the same Michael, who could be swayed by puppy eyes and that he is being held by a very pissed off archangel, who was just torturing a Hindu goddess.
The situation goes from funny to terrifying very quickly and he feels like violently crashing after getting high.
The worst thing is that Michael is right. Gabriel is still a prisoner of two or three psychopaths. He is probably suffering right now, he could get tortured, he could be dead and Balthazar is casually playing tag with Castiel. What the hell was he thinking?
A wave of nausea hits him suddenly and with so much force, that for one moment he is seriously concerned about accidentally vomiting on Michael´s feet and creating the most ridiculous reason ever to be sent to reeducation in the process.
"I...We...I wanted to help save Gabriel", he gasps out, shooting a quick glance to Castiel, who seems to be frozen in shock, not even sure what he is trying to communicate to his brother. Running would probably do more harm than good, since Michael is well aware of both of them being there.
"By behaving like fledglings?", Michael´s voice is freezing the air and Balthazar feels like he is going to burst into chips of ice on spot. "You go back to your garrison now, or..."
"Michael", Raphael suddenly interrupts, giving Balthazar his second serious shock within thirty seconds, because A) he totally didn´t see the other archangel there and B) Raphael is interrupting Michael, and seriously now, what on earth happened between the archangels?
"It´s not their fault that they lost control, that reaction to the garden is quite common for younger angels, especially if they aren´t used to it. You feel the effects too, even if it´s not that strong, don´t you?", Raphael continues to defend them and amaze Balthazar
"They still sneaked in!", Michael bursts out, a fire burning in his eyes. "I can´t allow that, I never allowed that!"
"We don´t have time now" Raphael is urging Michael, desperate to change the topic. "As soon as we get the location of the beach out of Kali, we are going, you said so yourself"
"Why do you want to go to the beach?", Balthazar blurts out. "You seriously think they are still there, even after I got away to tell about it?"
"It appears so", Raphael explains, clearly ignoring Michael, who is probably shouting over the archangel bond at him, demanding an explanation why he even explains this to the lesser angels. "Kali told us she used that place multiple times as a hideout and heavily protected the whole beach, cutting it off the rest of the island in a way that even interrupts telepathic connections between gods. That seems to be the reason why we couldn´t hear you or Gabriel and since we still can´t hear him, even though he is probably in distress, we think they are still there"
"Oh", Balthazar manages, feeling incredibly stupid and like he just wasted way too much time. Why did no one check out the beach just to be sure? They just assumed the Norse wouldn´t by stupid enough to stay, but if no one thought of that possibility, it wasn´t that stupid after all.
"Then I think, I´m the one, who knows the way. Let´s go!"
…
Gabriel finds himself praying that Hoder will come back with Baldur soon and that isn´t a good sign. Not at all.
Even more so since Baldur´s return will probably mean his death, but at the moment he doesn´t even care about that very much anymore.
Frigga is just mental, he decides, hanging panting in her grip, while she is happily experimenting on how deep she can cut him with an angel blade without actually killing him. And he always used to wonder about Odin drinking so much… With that kind of wife at home, who could blame him? The great and mighty Odin probably never got a say in anything behind closed doors.
Really, the only positive thing he can find about the situation is, that he somehow managed to tuck his wings in again. And Frigga can do with him whatever she wants, he won´t ever show them again. She has no leverage anymore and that means his first priority is to protect his wings. Oh, and his grace of course.
"Careful with the blue stuff", he slurs out, because he just keep his mouth shut, no matter the consequences. "If you don´t want to kill me, that has to stay inside, you hear me?"
Actually he could probably survive without his grace, but he really hopes Frigga doesn´t know that, because he has no intention of going human, at least definitely not with her nearby. Also he isn´t even sure how turning human works with archangels and he has never heard of it working with the grace being cut out bit by bit, so, who knows, maybe he is even telling the truth.
Frigga snorts in response. "I expected a bit more of you, Loki", she musses loudly. "Always unearthing everyone´s dirty little secrets, swaggering around like you were better than us, when actually it´s so easy to take you down. But I guess that was to be expected, with you not even being a god"
I am an archangel Gabriel thinks, his head swirling, as he stares at a spot of grace that has dropped on the sand right in front of him, strangely having an almost hypnotic effect. That´s almost the same concerning our powers, but it´s not like you are ever gonna get that, so why am I even bothering?
On another day, with other circumstances, he would have at least been equal to her, but that uncontrolled blast from earlier has taken a lot out of him and every cut she gives him, that he can´t heal immediately, lessens the chance of him ever getting out of this hell. He won´t give her the triumph of breaking him though.
He thinks of Lucifer in the cage, of Raphael, of Balthazar, of Castiel, of all the angels who were pushed through reeducation again and again, but are still there in some way. If they can manage that, he can push through this easy peasy, right?
He is praying for this to be over, but he can´t get himself to pray to anyone in particular. His father never answered, so why should he now? Michael didn´t answer, so why should he now? No, better pray to the universe in general, to have a better chance that someone is listening.
"Well, I expected more of you too, Frigga" Damn, he really can´t get his mouth under control. "I mean, how exactly did I miss your career turn to maniac? What exactly are you going to tell Odin when you get home? Not like your marriage isn´t already ruined, but I doubt he is going to be pleased, with how you are behaving here"
She stabs him in the leg and doesn´t pull the blade out again.
"He should be pleased, if he cares for his children at all! I have looked for ways to protect Baldur since he was born, but that oaf of a husband always held me back from the only real safety, saying that you were one of us, when you weren´t! But I don´t expect you to understand that, that´s another problem with you monotheists. You never have a mother, your father barely behaves like it, so how should you know what it is like to be loved as a child and to love a child. How should you know that kind of bond?"
He is in the garden, crawling into Michael´s arms, after a long day of running around, his brother´s arms the safest place in the world.
He is training with Lucifer, his brother never loosing patience with him and impulsively pulling him into a hug, when he finally gets a difficult move.
He is sitting next to Raphael, chattering away about this and that and Raphael just listens to him smiling, no matter how often he repeats the same topic over and over again, more than ready to let Gabriel feel like the center of the universe.
He is holding little Balthazar for the first time and the fledgling is starring up at him with impossible huge eyes, needing only one moment to teach Gabriel, a whole new kind of love and devotion.
Gabriel stares up to her, mouth dry. "Actually", he says very slowly. "I might know that better than you"
She twists the blade and he doesn´t scream.
Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Balthazar.
Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Balthazar.
Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Balthazar.
This is some kind of prayer too. One that stopped working a long time ago, but then again, most prayers are just wishes. Wishes and the hope that there is someone left who still cares.
But apparently there is no one left, or maybe Father just has the worst humor in the universe, because that is when Hoder returns, dragging a slightly dazzled Baldur and shoving the second angel blade into his brother´s hand, an obvious: "There! Now, just end this shit!" even though Hoder doesn´t say a word as per usual.
Gabriel absentmindedly wonders what Hoder thinks of his own family and if Frigga even sees what is really going on between her sons.
He sees Frigga fuzzing about Baldur and totally ignoring Hoder once again, telling Baldur how he´ll be safe in a few seconds and they both have turned their backs to Hoder now, as if he isn´t there, as if this wouldn´t be an important moment for him too. Baldur is right in front of Gabriel, raising the angel blade, but Hoder is raising something too and all of the sudden Gabriel just knows howthat story is inevitably going to end and it´s freaking poetic and cruel and absolutely ironic, something that the Trickster would come up with in one of those long lonely nights, that just wouldn´t end.
No, it´s even better than those two-o´-clock-in-the-morning thoughts, the only problem being that Hoder will wait to act till Gabriel is dead and no there is just no way he is missing Frigga´s expression, when she will finally have to look at her other son and face what she made of him.
Good thing that Hoder is the blind god and that Baldur is wielding that blade at snails pace for effect.
Gabriel pushes away all pride and screams in his true voice, before the blade even touches his skin.
"What the…?", Baldur curses, halting the blade just for one moment and that is all it takes for Hoder, who now thinks Gabriel dead and using the scream as orientation for where Baldur must be, to go through with what he probably dreamed about since Frigga ignored him for Baldur´s sake for the first time and shot his brother in the back.
Baldur falls to his knees gasping and Gabriel rips the angel blade out of his hands the moment Hoder shots again, contemplating for a moment to turn around and stab Frigga, but really, that would mean rescuing her, if her absolutely white face is anything to go by.
"I got punished for that crime all my life", Hoder says, over the sobs of his dying brother and his voice sounds neither triumphant nor shocked, just hollow, like he has reached the end of his road and there is just nothing left to break of him. "Mother, you have no idea how hard you made me wish, that I at least actually committed it"
…
Michael has been torturing himself with horrible images, since the moment he heard Gabriel was captured and in danger, definitely not made better by Death´s voice echoing over and over in his mind.
Tell me Michael, what did YOU do to him?
I pushed him away all those years ago, seeing him only as someone I needed to recruit, not as my brother anymore and that sent him running. I ruined heaven in a way, that made him loose the home he could have returned to. I took his brothers -our brothers- and turned them into mindless soldiers, or at least destroyed parts of their spirit. I demanded explanations from him, when we saw each other again and never intended to explain myself. I wanted him to still be that cute little fledgling, even though I was one of the reasons why he had to grow up so rapidly. I never apologized. I couldn´t bring him home. I couldn´t keep him safe. I am a monster that made him desperate enough to fake his death not once but twice to get away from me.
And I might loose him the third time in a week, if I don´t get to him in time and I couldn´t survive loosing him again.
These are the thoughts, that push him when he tortures Kali. He knows, it´s idiotic to turn into the monster again to save Gabriel, when Gabriel made more than clear, he would rather run forever, than have him like that, but he doesn´t know how else to save his little brother.
He is burning out. Loosing his grip.
In his mind he is sure he´ll be too late. He´ll always be too late and this could be the one time he´s too late for good.
He has horrible thoughts about Gabriel dying just before he can save him, without any chance to make anything right again. He imagines Gabriel looking up at him with glassy eyes and the last thing his little brother sees in his life is a monster.
And he would be right, Michael thinks, swallowing hard, while Kali screams, her blood flowing over his hands. But how do you stop being a monster, if there is a fire burning in you that is consuming you bit by bit if you don´t let it out in some way? A fire burning higher and hotter every second Gabriel remains in danger.
He is so scared of loosing Gabriel now that he is finally sure he has the right intentions and he knows that he´ll loose Gabriel anyway, because that´s just how the world is. He has lost all faith in a good world, in a just God, in himself.
He hasn´t prayed at all since his encounter with Death.
So Michael steels himself to find the absolute worst, sure that it will shatter what is left of him anyway, but if by some miracle Gabriel should still be alive, he owes it to his brother to be strong.
He doesn´t dare think too much about the future, too afraid that there won´t be a future for Gabriel. He has hoped to often in these past days, only to crash again, every time more painfully.
So he expected hell on that beach, his sweet little brother dead or dying, the Norse doing Father-knows-what to him. For Father´s sake, they wanted to burn his baby´s wings!
What he definitely didn´t expect was arriving and finding a Norse goddess madly attacking one of the gods with an angel blade, screaming at him something like "You are not my son!", with her son or not-son fending off the blows stoically, another Norse lying dead on the ground and Gabriel sitting next to the corpse, knees pulled up tightly to his chest, looking bloody and beaten and lost, but free to move and even holding an angel blade.
Michael just freezes, unable to come up with an explanation on how the situation could possibly escalated from what Balthazar described to result in this, but not everyone shares that hesitation.
"Gabriel!", Balthazar shouts and the youngest archangel lifts his head at the younger angel´s voice, battered face visibly lightening up and the next moment the two angels are tangled into a tight hug, in which it is impossible to tell who is trying to comfort whom.
"What should we do with the Norse?", Raphael asks, catching Michael completely off guard, the oldest archangel just realizing, that he didn´t fully believe that Gabriel could actually be alive until now, the memory of his little brother dying right in front of his eyes in the thrice-damned alley being just too strong, stronger than even Death´s word.
"Just...keep them away from us for now", he manages. "It would be stupid to interrupt that fight. Let´s just see who survives, then deal with it"
He can´t look away from Gabriel, but he doesn´t dare come closer either. Balthazar seems to have absolutely no problem with that, carefully checking over Gabriel´s injuries, talking to him all the time and coaxing tired responses out of the battered archangel and suddenly Michael is jealous of the younger angel, who manages to behave so natural around Gabriel and do what his little brother needs, while he himself is frozen to the ground in fear of rejection or Gabriel suddenly vanishing into thin air or dropping dead.
He is the leader of the heavenly host, God´s oldest, responsible of all his siblings and he is scared out of his mind at the thought of facing his wounded little brother.
"Just go", Raphael says, only daring to say it out loud in front of the other angels, because the bonds don´t work on this damned beach. "You both need it"
And Michael just blinks at Raphael, thinking about how much he missed that brother, too.
"Should I go?", Balthazar asks immediately, when Michael finally gets to Gabriel, receiving an unmistakable nod from Michael and a gesture that could mean anything from Gabriel.
Then the two archangels are alone, starring at each other in a way not so different from that chance meeting on the road, that seems a lifetime away now.
Michael still has no idea what to do, fumbling for a way to tell his brother how sorry he is and also trying to get close enough to Gabriel to heal his wounds, because while they don´t seem immediately lethal, they are still excessive and, inflicted by an angel blade, shouldn´t be taken lightly.
"I think Ragnarök just got started", Gabriel blurts out, apparently unable to take the tension anymore. "Also, we might not be the most dysfunctional family in the universe"
"Really?", Michael asks, still standing a few feet away from his brother awkwardly, "I started war with the Hindu pantheon"
"I blew up a fancy summer house and almost killed Balthazar"
"I spoke with Death about you"
"I had a fight for a TV remote with… Wait, you did what? What did he tell you?"
"Why?", Michael asks, a grin slowly spreading over his face. "What did you do?"
"Miiiiiiichael!", Gabriel whines, in the same tone he used as a fledgling, when Michael told him he was too young for something.
"Gabriel, you are behaving childish and you know it", Michael gives back the standard response and suddenly all the tension between them is gone and somehow he finds himself with his arms wrapped around Gabriel´s body, his little brother curling into him just as he did as a fledgling, when everything was still fine.
"I´m sorry", Michael whispers. "I´m so sorry, but I tried better, Raphael is on the right way I think and I… I couldn´t stand loosing you one more time. I´m turning into a monster without you. Gabriel, please, could you just try and stay for a bit? I won´t hurt you, I promise"
Gabriel´s eyes are huge and full of tears, as he looks up to his older brother. "Everything hurts", the youngest archangel whispers, his strength and bravado finally spent, burying his face in Michael´s chest once again and Michael could slap himself, for doing that speech now, which sure is important some time, but Gabriel is still seriously injured, loosing blood and grace all over himself and Michael. Balthazar tried to fix as much as he could in the short time he had with Gabriel, but these are injuries are one level or two above the younger angels.
"I know", Michael whispers into Gabriel´s hair, tears threatening to fall, as he coaxes his brother to lay down in a way, that offers him a better view on his wounds and remembering just in time that sand and open wounds are a horrible combination, he is forced to pull his brother up again, flinching at the barely suppressed scream. "I know it hurts, but just try to relax. I´ll fix it, I promise. I´ll fix everything"