Chapter Sixteen:
CPOV:
It's been almost a week since I last saw Ana, I needed to get back to work which meant working all day and well into the night, it's never been a problem before, my job was always my number one priority but now that Ana is in my life, I'm finding it difficult to compromise. I won't even deny that I'm missing her, I'm missing her terribly. We've spoke everyday but it just wasn't the same, I needed to see her which is why I've flown down to Portland and now I am sat waiting for her to arrive in a nearby coffee shop from where she lives, she insisted I didn't need to pick her up, we would just meet each other here, she also told me she had a surprise for me but because she's almost twenty minutes late and it was beginning to rain quite hard, I was beginning to worry about her and if something had happened to her. Just as I am about to stand up and go in search for her myself she walks in, hair a little bit of a mess and slightly wet but she still looked beautiful to me. She looks around the coffee shop obviously looking for me, once she does spot me, her face splits into a grin as she starts walking towards me.
"I'm so sorry I'm late Christian, I had a few things to take care of first" she apologies to me, I'm just glad she got here in one piece.
"Is everything okay?" I ask her as we sit down.
"Yes, everything is great, I have some news" she says excitedly.
"Is this my surprise?" I ask intrigued.
"Well kind of…" she grins, I wait for her to continue.
"We've found a place to live in Seattle!" she says grinning at me, my face too splits into a grin. It's about time, I want her closer to me.
"That's great! Where? When?" I ask. When she told me her and Kate were looking for a place to live in Seattle, I immediately told her I would pay and find them an apartment so they could move quicker but Ana being Ana refused to take any money from me, in fact it ended up us both having another argument, I just couldn't stand Ana being so far away from me.
"We found it yesterday but I thought I'd wait to tell you today and surprise you" she smiles at me.
"Thank you Ana, I know we've had a disagreements about this, but I just want you safe and closer to me. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you, you know that. So when are you moving?"
"I know Christian, moving to Seattle was our plan all along and I know you just wanted to help me and I appreciate it, I really do but I don't need your money, I just want you in my life…that's all"
"You have me Ana" if only she knew just how much she has me.
"I have more news…"
"Go on…"
"I have a job interview, well actually I have two" she says excitedly.
"Ana, congratulations! Are you going to tell me where?" I ask, she just shakes her head.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want you to use the power you have to get me a job, I want to do this on my own, please Christian?"
"I would never interfere when it comes to your career, not unless you ask me too" I tell her, even if it is a slight lie, I'll find out where she has job interviews and make sure they are safe places to work.
"So are you going to quit working in that nightclub?"
"No, I can't quit my job until I definitely know I have another one"
"Ana, you can't be serious? Once you move to Seattle, you can't keep driving back to Portland, it's not practical" and it's definitely not safe.
"I have no choice Christian"
"Yes you do, you can take up my offer and come and work for me"
"No Christian I can't, I need to start my own career, and I need to build my life here"
"But travelling back to Portland is not practical Ana" I argue.
"I know, which is why I won't be, instead I'm getting transferred over, and I've already spoke to my boss, there's a couple of bars that want to meet me to discuss hours and pay etc…"
"Ana you shouldn't be working at all in that type of environment"
"It's only until I get a job in publishing…" she argues with me, we are always going to disagree on this.
"Ana…" I start.
"No Christian, please, this is my choice. I have to work, if I am not successful in these interviews then I will be out of a job, I can't let that happen. Please try and understand, I won't change my mind about this, you just have to trust me…"
"I trust you completely Ana, you know that"
"Good, now can we please change the subject, how's GEH?" she asks and just like that the subject is changed but certainly not forgotten, I won't let her continue working in bars without protection anymore and she argue with me about that all she wants it won't matter, my decision is final. We soon get talking about GEH, I tell her that I'll be heading to New York soon on a business trip hoping that she would ask to come with me because I know she has never been before. But no, her holiday to Barbados with Kate is very much going ahead much to my disapproval.
"Ana, I need to know you'll be okay in Barbados with Kate, anything could happen to you and the thought of it…I don't want Kate to leave you or wonder off without you when she meets some guy…"
"Christian, what happened with Kate and Elliot is just as much his fault as it is hers. They both made a mistake, Kate wants to be with him but if he's still going to get married next week then Kate doesn't want to be around for that and as I am her best friend, I am standing by her side...if she meets some guy then she meets some guy…"
"But what about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"If she meets some guy, where does that leave you? You'll be on your own…are you going to go off and meet someone?" Why am I asking her this? Because you are jealous of every guy that talks or breathes the same air as her you just won't tell her that.
"Christian, I am not interested in meeting someone on holiday in Barbados, I'll be perfectly fine, me and Kate both need this, I'll only be gone a week and then I'll be back here to start my life in Seattle, I promise you, I won't do anything remotely stupid" I don't believe her.
"How do you know? What if your drink is spiked again and I am not there this time? What if nobody is and…."
"You have to stop thinking about the what if's Christian, trust me please and know that I'll be okay, I'll call you every hour if that helps" she jokes but I don't find it funny at all.
"That's not funny Ana"
"Christian I am not trying to be funny, I'm trying to make you understand where I'm coming from…I promise you, I'll always keep in contact with you, I'll be careful, if I do drink, I won't leave it unattended, I'll never do that again and as for meeting someone, how could I?!"
"What do you mean?"
"It doesn't matter"
"No please Ana, tell me the truth…"
"No Christian I can't tell you"
"Yes you can, you can tell me anything"
"Not this I can't…"
"Why not?"
"Because it would ruin our friendship" What does she mean by that?
"Ana, I don't understand…" she cuts me off.
"Isn't it obvious to you, the real reason as to why I'm going on holiday, I need time to think…"
"Think about what?"
"You…ever since we met, I…Christian, I don't want to talk about this"
"Ana…"
"Christian please, I understand, I completely do…your my best friend, I can talk to you about anything, if something happens either good or bad you're the first person I think to tell, I haven't told Kate about my job interviews yet because I wanted you to be the first to know. You make me feel safe, I've been running my whole life, I've been on my own my whole life but now I'm not, thanks to you…I understand the life you live, I accept it because it's you, I'd do anything for you and you know that even though I know you'd never ask me because you would be trying to protect me. But the more time I spent with you, the more I realised it's not just friendship I want with you, for the first time in my life I want more but I know you don't, you've said yourself I am your only friend, I don't want to be, if I could do anything for you it would be to set you free, Elliot loves you Christian, you're his brother and his best friend and if you gave him a chance you'd realise that too. I'm not saying I don't want you in my life because I do, the reason I'm telling you this is because I do want you always in my life but I need to forget about whatever feelings I may have towards you…
"Ana I…why haven't you told me this before now?" I can't believe what I'm hearing, I badly want to tell her what I feel but I can't say it, I haven't even admitted anything fully to myself yet.
"Because I was hoping I'd go to Barbados, come back and I'll be fine and I would never have to tell you"
"And that's what you want?"…please say no Ana! She sighs and takes a deep breath.
"Yes it is" she mumbles quietly.
"Ana"
"All I am asking for is some time away, let me think about this…you are my best friend and nothing is going to change that, I'll always be here"
"Then why does it now feel completely different? Like you are somehow telling me goodbye?"
"I'm not saying goodbye Christian, I'd never do that to you"
"I don't want you to go Ana, I don't want you be disappear for a week to then come back and want nothing to do with me, because that's what's going to happen isn't it?"
"No it's not Christian…"
"Ana, it will, you should have told me"
"And then what? We'd still be having this same conversation, I'm telling you how I feel but I know you just see me as your friend and I get that"
"I don't think you do Ana, you've got no idea just how much you mean to me. I can't lose you"
"And you won't, look I'm going to go, I didn't want us having this conversation Christian, you mean the world to me and nothing will change that. I think it's best if we both keep our distance, at least until I come back from Barbados and you come back from New York…" Stop her Grey, before she walks out of your life for good!
"Please don't do this Ana…" I beg her as she stands up, I get up too, and straight away she hugs me tightly.
"I'll be back before you know Christian, I promise" she whispers as she lets go of me and before I can even respond, she walks away from me, it's a good job there's a seat next to me because I practically collapse onto it. Now what do I do? I know I've lost her, I know she'll come back and yes we may be alright at first but then she'll eventually meet someone and I'll be pushed out of her life for good and once again I'll be on my own. She's so close into stealing the heart she breathed life into and now she's killed it again by walking away. All I can now feel is darkness, the light has gone, the happiness has gone, she's gone and I know I'll never have her back. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone buzzing in my pocket, a text message, from Ana:
I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did, I promised you long ago that I'd never leave you and I'll stick to that promise. Just give me some time, which is all I'm asking from you. You mean the absolute world to me Christian Grey, remember that. I'll see you soon. Ana x
I know why she's sent me this, she's trying to reassure me but it's not working, if anything its making me feel worse, why do I feel like this? This girl has completely changed my life, changed it in ways she could never understand, I don't think I even understand. I need to figure out what I want, I need to give her the space she needs no matter how painful or impossible it will be. I'm still putting protection on her, I don't care what she says, I want to know she's safe at all times. I quickly text Taylor telling him to sort out security for Ana as quickly as possible, the sooner the better in my eyes. I don't know what to reply to Ana so I don't, I stand up from where I'm sitting and leave the coffee shop. Now she's left, I don't know what do with myself, I thought we would spend the weekend together but I obviously can't do that now so I have no choice but to head back to Seattle.
Flying always helps me clear my mind whether I'm in my faithful Charlie Tango or I'm gliding, I know Ana would love gliding, I plan on taking her one day if she'll let me, I shake my head at the thought. I slowly make my way back to my helicopter and once I climb aboard, I quickly do safety checks and depart, my heart staying behind in Portland with a beautiful girl who no longer wants to be in my life.
ANON POV:
Who does he think he is? Talking to my girl, being so close to her? I've been following her ever since the day I met her, I have to make her mine, I just need to get her beloved Christian Grey out of the picture and that's exactly what I've done. I met Grey a long time ago, not that he remembers but I sure do, he ruined my life and I'm about to take his. I've been following Miss Steele so much without her realising and I know she was meeting him today and I know he was flying over in his helicopter and this gave me an opportunity I couldn't pass up, I watched him from a distance land his helicopter and I watched him leave to meet up with Anastasia with a smile on his face, that smile won't be on your face for much longer Grey! I quickly get to work with what I needed to do and before anyone notices. Once it's done, I head off to where Grey is meeting up with her and then watch as my plans unfold.