Authors Note:
I hope you enjoy this chapter! I've recently changed my username, so I hope you don't get confused, it's still the same me writing this story. I've also realised I haven't said much about myself or said a proper hello. So Hi everyone! My name is Michelle, I'm 24 years old and I live in the UK, if you want to know more about me then please just ask, I don't mind or if you want to see more about me then you can follow my Instagram: MBATESONX. Also, I hope you've all been enjoying reading 'Grey', I know I have, I've finished it already, which is a good job really because the Fifty Shades DVD arrived on my doorstep this morning. Anyway, thank you once again for reading!
Chapter Eighteen:
I wake up to a pair of strong arms wrapped around me tightly, I shift only slightly and see Christian fast asleep next to me, I shift slightly again to try and get up but Christian pulls me back to him and then sighs when he can feel me next to him. I reach up slightly and gently run my hand through his hair and he smiles in his sleep. I lay back down fully again and keep running my hand through his hair as I think back to everything that happened last night and smile at this beautiful man next to me:
"No, please don't cry Ana, I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am that all this has happened…" he holds my face in both of his hands and wipes my tears away, he looks into my eyes like he's searching for something, and I think I know what because I want it too, I want to be with him, I want us to be together, I don't want him as just my best friend anymore. Before I can think about anything else or tell him how I feel, he kisses me.
My thoughts are scattered as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him towards me, I don't want to let him go, not now. I've hidden my feelings for him for far too long, if he walked away now telling me he still only wants to be friends then I don't think I could do it, I would have to walk away from him for good, I wouldn't come running back to him. Realising this is I pull away from him, we stare at each other for what feels like hours, neither of us saying or doing anything we are just looking at each other. I'm the first to break the silence, I know we need to talk.
"Christian, why did you…what, I don't understand…" I can't seem to string a simple sentence together, I just want to be in his arms again.
"Ana, I don't know what to say, I mean I know what I want to say but I'm afraid to say it…"
"Just tell me the truth Christian, I've known all along about I feel about you, I've just been hiding it or trying not to admit it to myself. But I can't anymore and I won't, for the first time in my life I've found somewhere where I want to be, where I want to stay, I've been avoiding every emotion within me since I was 13 years old but I can't do it anymore…" I pause and take a deep breath.
"…I want to be with you Christian Grey, I want more, I want to be more than friends, and even though the thought of ruining our friendship terrifies me I'm willing to take the chance, I've said all I've wanted to say probably since the day I met you now it's down to you…" I stop talking and stare at him, waiting for some kind of response from him, after what probably only was a few seconds, he starts talking.
"We are the same Ana in so many ways…I met you and you flipped my controlled, dull world upside down. Before you I was alone, you've said it yourself so many times about just how isolated I was from everyone, including my family. But then now, since meeting you, spending time with you, you've made me more of a man, I told you everything there is to know about my past, the lifestyle I used to live by and you stood by me even though you should have walked away from me. I didn't want to do anything that could possibly make you want to leave and walk away so I just convinced myself that we are friends, nothing more because that's what I thought you wanted. It drives me crazy when I see another man talking to you or just looking at you, or I hear Kate trying to set you up with someone, I can't stand it, I'm beyond jealous because I want to be that guy. When you told me how you really felt I was shocked, that's why I didn't say anything. I definitely don't want you to go to Barbados with Kate, the thought of it fills me with panic, panic that you might meet someone, someone who deserves you or something happens to you, I want you to be safe at all times and I want to be the one that makes you feel that way…"
"You do make me feel that way Christian, I feel safe, and the safest I have ever been in my life…" I whisper to him as he reaches for my hands and then kisses each one of my knuckles in turn.
"…I want to be with you Ana and I want you to be with me. I don't ever want to think about my life without you in it, I can't do it. We will probably have to guide each other because I have no clue on how to be in a relationship, I don't even know where to start…"
"We'll start together and learn together…"
"When I crashed, all I could think about was you, they say your life flashes before your eyes in situations like that and it did, every thought, and every memory was of you, I thought of nothing else. That why I knew I had to come back and tell you how I felt. I don't know how I did it but I managed to land, I was flying too low realistically. For a few seconds I thought I'd never see your face again or looking into those eyes that have captivated me since the day we met. When I eventually made it home, I wanted you here, I wanted to hold you in my arms and then never let you go ever again. My Mom told me you was in my apartment, somehow she could see all I wanted in that moment was you, I said I would explain everything that had happened when we were all together so I only had to do it once, my Mom told me how you were when you all thought I was dead, I wouldn't dare leave you like that Ana…"
"They must be think I'm a terrible person, I didn't even try and make conversation with anyone, I just sat there staring into space, into my own little world thinking of you, if you was hurt, if you needed me…your sister Mia, I can see why you adore her Christian, I didn't even meet your father, I just came in here and curled up into a ball hoping it was all a dream…"
"My family understood completely, my Mom especially, she adores you Ana…I told them I just wanted to sleep and then all meet tomorrow, that includes you. We can do proper introductions tomorrow, I promise you, and they don't think you are a terrible person, quite the opposite actually…" he pulls me back over to him and I snuggle back into his arms, where I know I belong, he tilts my chin up so I can look at him in the eyes.
"You have my heart Anastasia Steele, a heart that I didn't know existed until you stumbled into my life…" he whispers softly before leaning down and brushing his lips against my own softly.
"Ana?" I'd been so busy thinking about last night that I hadn't even noticed Christian waking up and was now watching me. I look at him and smile, he grins back.
"How are you feeling?" I ask him, he was exhausted before we curled up together and eventually fell asleep.
"I couldn't be happier…" I roll my eyes at him, again he glares at for me doing so.
"Ok, take me out of the equation for a second, how are you actually feeling?" he sighs.
"I ache a little and I'm still a little tired but I don't care…"
"Well I do, you stay here and I am going to get us some breakfast…"
"Ana, Gail can do that, it's what she's here for…"
"That maybe the case but you are still staying here, I will bring you something…"
"Ana" he groans at me.
"No arguments Christian, please for me stay here" this time, it's him that rolls his eyes at me.
"Fine, I'll stay here but hurry back"
"You won't even get the chance to miss me…" I joke with him, as I stand up he reaches for me and pulls me back down and then rolls us over so he's half on top of me.
"I always miss you Miss Steele" I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck, my hands getting lost in his hair and pull him towards me, his lips seeking out mine. This kiss feels different from last night, last night I think we were both still a little uncertain about what we were to each other but now I know we are both feeling the same. Eventually though, Christian pulls away from me but keeps on smirking at me.
"You better go and get us breakfast before I decide on keeping you here..." he says before rolling off me and letting me get up. I lean over and give him one more kiss before heading out to find us some breakfast. Gail was already in the kitchen when I got there, she spots me walking towards her and smiles.
"Good morning Ana, how are you this morning?"
"I'm good thank you Gail, I'm better than good actually, I was about to make Christian some breakfast…"
"How is Mr. Grey this morning? Don't worry about breakfast, I'll make it for you both, what would you like?"
"Omelettes please Gail if that's okay?"
"Of course it is, you sit down and I'll make breakfast for you both. Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Please Gail, thank you" I say, she smiles and then smiles at something behind her and I know exactly what that something is when he wraps his arms around me.
"I missed you…" he whispers in my ear out of earshot of Gail, I place my hands over his.
"I knew you wouldn't be able to stay in bed" I say quietly.
"I couldn't..."
"You didn't even try Christian…"
"I did, I think I waited an entire five minutes before getting up actually Miss Steele, anyway I have an important question to ask you? He says as he moves from behind me and sits next to me.
"And what is that question Mr. Grey?" I ask, before he answers Gail comes over and sets tea and coffee down in front us aswell as setting our plates, we both say thank you to her and I turn my attention back to Christian who's already looking right at me.
"As you was saying Mr. Grey?" I smile at him.
"For once I am going to get this right…so Miss Steele, I'd like to take you out to dinner…" my smile gets better.
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
"I am, our first official date. I want to do this right, I want to impress you, I want to pick you up at your apartment, I want to do it all, so what do you say Miss Steele?" I stand and he moves so I can stand in between his legs, I weave my hands through his hair and smile.
"It's a date Christian, I'd love to go on a date with you, our first official date" I grin at him. He wraps his arms around me tightly, we are only interrupted by Gail who's finished making our breakfast. I move out of his arms reluctantly and sit back down beside him.
"Tonight, I want to take you out tonight…" Christian begins.
"Christian, if you want to do this right then we are going to do this right and not jump in straight away…first we are going to go over to your parents so we can go through everything that happened yesterday…"
"Ana…"
"You promised your family Christian, and I'd like to know too. After that, I am going to go home…"
"No, please stay here with me"
"Christian, a date is exactly that, a date, we don't stay, come and go from the same apartment, you said you wanted to impress me well I'm giving you a chance to impress me Mr. Grey…"
"And…what's wrong with tonight?"
"Because I want to impress you too, so I'd like more time…"
"Ana, you don't need to impress me"
"Yes I do and I want too, so pick another night?"
"Ana, you seriously don't. I'm leaving for New York on Tuesday until Friday morning…" Oh…
"So Friday night it is"
"Ana, that's too far away…"
"No it's not, I'll be with you all day today before heading home, I'll come and see you before you leave for New York and Friday night will be here before you know it".
"It's impossible to argue with you"
"We aren't arguing, we are negotiating" I grin at him before standing up again and heading back towards his bedroom to get ready.