Chapter Twenty-One:

Christian didn't call me last night, I laid awake for hours waiting for him to call but he never did. I just wish he would talk to me and tell me what it is he's feeling. I know exactly what it is that I'm feeling, I thought about it over and over last night whilst in bed. He may seriously piss me off with his attitude and his need for control sometimes but I don't think I would have it any other way, I know I need him, I need him more than anyone else in my life, its cliché to say but I would be lost without him in my life. In the end, my mind got it down to one word…Love. I love him, I'm in love with him, once I realised that everything just clicked together and I managed to fall asleep for a few hours.

I woke up soon after and set myself down in front of the TV, I know I should go and see Christian myself and sort all of this out, I don't want to leave for Barbados with him mad at me, that's the last thing I want, especially now I've admitted to myself that I love him. But again, this is one thing he is going to have to understand, I am going on holiday with my best friend, now more than ever I need time away, to clear my head. My thoughts are interrupted as Kate and Elliot come stumbling into the room.

"Morning!" they both say to me, I can't help but smile at them, especially Kate, she looks happy. Why can't I have that? I should be waking up like that with Christian.

"Go and see him Ana!" I turn to look at Elliot.

"He hasn't called"

"And he probably won't, look I know my brother, he's as stubborn as they get, especially when it comes to you. I have never seen him like this, I'm not sticking up for the way he acted, he acted like a prick to you but them man is head over heels for you, that I can see…so please go and do me a favour and go and see him"

"I…but what if he doesn't want to see me?"

"Are you stupid, of course he does, I told you, he's stubborn and from what Kate tells me, so are you! You belong together, trust me" I look at Kate and she nods her head at me.

"He may be an arrogant arse at times but he makes you happy, I can see that, it radiates off of you in waves when he's around. Just go and see him and then come back so we can start packing" I nod at her as I stand up, they are both right, I just need to go and talk it out with him.

Now though as I drive towards Christian's penthouse, I need to think about what it is that I am going to say to him. I can't just tell him I love him, it would probably freak him out in fact I know it will so for now I will keep that thought to myself.

Once I arrive at Escala, I'm let up straight away, as I stand in the elevator as it rises I take a few deep breaths, I have to let him explain yesterday and not interrupt him. Once the elevator reaches his penthouse I step out and to my surprise he's standing there waiting for me. Without a word he pulls me to him and his lips seeking out mine. Something is different about this kiss, it's urgent, it's powerful. I soon give into it though and I wrap my arms around his neck and run my hands through his hair. His tongue gently strokes my bottle lip seeking access, I automatically let him, straight away our tongues battle it out against each other, without warning he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks us through his penthouse and into his kitchen. He sits me down and pulls himself away from me.

"Hi" I manage to say whilst trying to catch my breath.

"Hi" he says back to me, we continue to stare at each other without saying a word. He has to be the one to start talking, eventually he does;

"We need to talk about yesterday, I apologise for not calling you after I said I would, I just needed some time to cool off, I thought that if I rang you, I would say something I would regret. I did nothing but think about us last night" he pauses.

"Did you reach any conclusions?" I ask quietly, I doubt he reached the same conclusions as I did.

"Yes, two, the first being you are the most stubborn and infuriating woman I have ever met in my life" I can't argue with that.

"And…the second?" he smiles and walks over to me and grasps my face between both of his hands and kisses me softly.

"I'm in love with you" he whispers in my ear and I think my heart just stopped. What? I pull away from so I can properly see his face.

"What?"

"It's the only logical explanation I have for the way I am feeling, I thought about it non-stop last night and it just made sense, I love you Anastasia Steele, you beautiful, stubborn, infurati…" I don't let him finish his sentence, I just launch myself at him instead and I almost send us flying, luckily he's strong enough to hold us both up on our feet, tears begin to spill over my eyes as my lips seek out his desperately.

"I love you too" I say holding him tightly against me. He pulls away and stares at me wide eyed.

"You do?" he asks.

"Of course I do, I couldn't sleep last night either and I pretty much reached the same conclusion as you, I don't want to end up losing you just because I'm being a pain in the ass which I know I am. I'm sorry for that, I understand now your need to protect me, I have to face up to the fact that he's out there somewhere, I don't want anything to happen to you, I couldn't bare it but I know that it goes both ways, I assume anyway I'm still getting security but I just ask one thing…you have security too, I know you have Taylor but I want you safe, you are known all across the US, and if I'm seen with you and he sees, you'll become a target and…"

"Ana stop, for now let's forget all about that and instead think about us, and we might want to start packing…" he says as he wonders off out of his kitchen, straight away I'm following him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well after yesterday, I felt terrible, we didn't even go on our first date so I called Elliot and we are coming with you and Kate to Barbados, I've made all the arrangements and we are leaving on my private jet, tonight actually…"

"TONIGHT?!" I shout at him and he just laughs at me.

"Yes baby, so…"

"You could have told me Grey, I have to go and pack!"

"Baby, calm down, I have it all taken care off"

"You are unbelievable, do you know that?"

"I take it that's a good thing?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" and once I again I launch myself at him.