Chapter 47: Amends
Lily was horrified. She and James had gotten into a fight and now he was being dragged in unconscious by Sirius and Benjy Fenwick into the living room. She felt horrible; those might have been the last words she ever spoke to him.
Sirius and Benjy laid him down on the couch as Lily made her way quickly over to them. Kneeling down next to him, she shakily started to unbutton James' shirt so she could inspect the wound. Sirius moved her hands after she barely manged to get the first button undone.
"I'll do this," he told her. "You get the potion to fix it."
Lily nodded. She went back into the kitchen. She had a whole stock of potions put up in the kitchen. Before she was pregnant, whenever she was off from St. Mungo's or wasn't on a mission, Lily would heal the wounded. Quickly she grabbed a Blood Replenishing potion and Dittany. She made her way back into the living room and knelt down next to James.
Now that Sirius had removed his shirt, Lily could see his wound more clearly. Three jagged lines ran down his chest and blood was dripping everywhere. There was a large gash on his forehead she hadn't noticed before. Sirius had somehow manged to keep the blood out of James' hair for the most part.
As Lily uncorked the bottle of Dittany, tears slipped down her cheeks silently and onto James' chest. Her shoulders didn't shake, sobs didn't rack her body, she just let the tears roll down her cheeks as she let the Dittany drip over her husband's wounds. When she was almost done with the first gash a voice spoke.
"I knew a redhead who once said crying never helped anything."
Lily's teary eyes snapped up to look at James'. He was trying to smile through his pain, but it looked more like a grimace. His eyes were barely open, but Lily could see the hazel underneath the lid. She had never been more happy in her life.
"She did, didn't she?" Lily replied, biting back tears. "This is going to hurt now that you're awake."
James nodded as Lily nodded at Sirius, who grabbed James' shoulders to make sure he stayed down. Lily returned to her job with a few less tears in her eyes. As she applied a few drops to the last of the first wound, James' back lifted off the couch as his hands fisted in pain. Lily tried to hurry so he wouldn't be in so much pain. The second slash took a little longer now that James was awake. After she finished the third one, she turned her attention to his head. It only took a few drops until that was healed. She unsealed the Blood Replenishing potion and made James drink all of it.
Lily turned back to James and ran her fingers through his messy hair. He smiled slightly at her.
"What happened?" Lily asked.
"We were staking out a supposed Death Eater house," Sirius explained. "We were supposed to watch the comings and goings for a week, but somehow they found out we were there. James was battling with three of them at once. That's how that happened."
"Oh, James," Lily sighed as she ran her fingers down the side of his face.
"Someone had to do it," James muttered.
"I'll be right back," Lily told him. "I'm going to get something to wipe up all the blood with."
James merely nodded as she got up. Lily knew she could use magic, but she preferred to clean the blood off herself. It was a way of coping for her; if she could clean the blood up, she could make sure that whoever it was, was ok. In this case, it was James.
Lily faintly heard Sirius tell Benjy that he could go home and they had it under control as she made her way into the kitchen. The tears were falling faster as she picked up the towel. She fingered it for a moment thinking about the horrible things she had said to James before he left. This was all her fault.
Suddenly she was spun around and pulled into a warm embrace.
"It's alright, Lily," Sirius whispered to her. "He's going to be ok. If I know you, which I do, you're blaming yourself right now. It's not your fault. I told him from the beginning that he shouldn't have gone. He made his choice, and now he has to pay the consequences. This is not in any way your fault."
"Oh, Sirius, the last things I said to him were dreadful!" Lily sobbed. "I-I-I-"
"Listen to me," Sirius demanded shaking her slightly. "I understand. You were mad. You didn't say those things because you meant them. You said them because you were angry. I don't know what you said, but it doesn't matter. Whatever you did say really got to him though. He was fingering his wedding band the whole time we were there. I think you should apologize, but this isn't in any way your fault. Do you understand me?"
Lily nodded numbly. She had to be strong right now. For James. Quietly she made her way back into the living room where James was trying to sit up. Lily ran over to him and tenderly pushed him back down into a lying position.
"The couch," James mumbled.
"The last thing I'm worried about is the couch right now," Lily told him smiling. "Sirius, can you get me a bucket of water?"
"'Course," he replied before making his way into the kitchen. Promptly he came back with a pail full of water.
Lily started to rub the towel across James' chest gently. When it filled up with blood she stuck it in the water and rang it out.
"If you don't need anything, I'm going to head out," Sirius said. "I think he's in good hands."
"Thanks, Sirius, I've got it," Lily assured him, smiling shakily. Sirius nodded before bending down to kiss her forehead. He smiled before taking his leave of the Potters.
"James?" Lily questioned tenderly.
James opened his eyes. "That feels nice."
Lily smiled faintly. "I love you."
"I love you too, Lily," James smiled as he reached up and pushed a strand of hair from her face. "Always have, always will."
"I'm so sorry," Lily cried quietly. "I'm so sorry for everything I said. I-I was just mad and I didn't mean any of it."
"Lily, it's fine," James consoled her. "You were right anyways, weren't you?"
"No, I was wrong," Lily shook her head as she spoke. "James, I shouldn't have said those mean things to you. I-I didn't mean to hurt you. I was angry at. . . .at how unfair this all is. Oh, am I making any sense?"
"No, but I get what you're saying," James told her. "You're mad at how terribly unfair it is to discriminate against someone because of their blood. You're mad because this bloody war shouldn't even be going on in the first place. You're mad because children are growing up in a world where they have to look over their shoulders to make sure no one's following them. You're mad because teenagers have to go out and act like adults when they're really only children themselves. And all because some old bugger has some complex about 'blood purity'. I understand why you're mad, Lily, I do."
"James, I love you so much," Lily told him genuinely. "I'm sorry for everything I said. I just. . . .I don't know. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I hope you can forgive me for what I said."
"Lily, it's fine," James repeated. "I'm fine. Well, not completely, but I'm going to be fine soon. Very soon actually."
Lily nodded. "I just love you so much and I don't ever want to lose you. I. . . .I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
"You've never have to worry about that, Lily," James told her. "I will always find a way to come back to you. No matter what."
Lily smiled at him and brushed some of his hair out of his face. She returned to getting the blood of off him and accomplished this rather quickly. After stripping James of his blood soaked shirt and cleaning the couch, she carried the pale of water, the cloth, and the bloody shirt into the wash room. Grabbing a blanket on her way back, she headed back to the living room. James was still laying on the clean couch, staring up at the ceiling. Quietly Lily slipped in besides him and covered them both with the blanket. She snuggled into her husband's side and instantly fell into a peaceful sleep.
A/N: Hey guys! So if you couldn't already tell we're nearing the end of our story. I think there's going to be about 5 to 10 chapters left. That's just an estimation. It could be more. I think it will probably take at least five to finish it. I'll try to update as soon as possible! Reviews inspire me so the more the merrier!