Many thanks to Aublanc, my beta for this story.

Title: Couch Psychology

Prompt: "Ending Line: I clicked off the safety, swearing that if she showed her face here today, my room would be the last one she ever entered."

Warnings: Post Captain America: Winter Soldier

Tony popped another strawberry into his mouth and rapidly finished the command inputs for the next trial run, pushing himself away from the desk with a satisfied air. The first trials for the camouflaging panels had been pretty buggy, even by his standards.

Sure, the material was effective in breaking up the outline of the suit and its mirrored surface reduced the chance of anyone spotting him, but the power requirements were unsustainable. Besides, the panels themselves reacted poorly to tensile stresses, showing a much lower threshold than the other alloys that made up the suits.

Tony ran a hand through his hair and checked the parameters of Trial 2 again. He thought that the next alloy he was testing, a silver-heavy variation of electrum, might solve some of the power issues and result in greater ductility, but it would be several hours before all the tests he'd ordered would be completed. Tony yawned and stretched, only now realizing how late it actually was.

"Pepper's gonna kill me; I was supposed to head up hours ago. JARVIS, buddy, go ahead and start the tests. I'm gonna catch some shut-eye, but I think we're on to something with this batch."

"As you wish, Sir."

Tony shuffled into the elevator and punched the button for his floor. Although, he thought with a smirk, he couldn't really call it his floor anymore; most of the Avengers tended to gravitate there during their free time. Something about having a better entertainment setup than the other floors. Still, he was surprised to see Capsicle's sidekick sitting quietly at the bar with a mug of what had to be some sort of tea since someone had convinced JARVIS to limit everyone's access to caffeine and alcohol except during emergencies. (Tony still couldn't figure out how because when he asked JARVIS about it he'd started spouting off some hokey health protocol that Tony swore he'd never even heard of, much less installed in his butler. He suspected Bruce had something to do with it since he'd been especially unsympathetic, but he hadn't found any proof…yet.)

"Hey. What are you still doing up?"

Barnes shrugged and took a sip from his mug, the circles under his eyes not quite as bad as they had been but still noticeable.

"Couldn't sleep."

Tony grunted and leaned against a counter.

"Wouldn't have anything to do with that arm, would it?"

Barnes' expression closed and he didn't answer, choosing to take another gulp of what smelled like chamomile tea with milk and honey. Tony shrugged and busied himself with making a tall glass of milk.

"Y'know…back when I first got my reactor installed, I had trouble sleeping all the time. Still do, actually. And I know for a fact that Spangles and everyone else on the team may seem like they have their crap together, but it's just an act. There's no shame in it; it is what it is. So do yourself a favor and—this is gonna sound crazy, but trust me on this—do yourself a favor and go talk to Bruce tomorrow. That big leather couch in the lounge on his floor is the best in the building. You just sit there and look pitiful and he'll come out tomorrow morning and he'll say something and you just start talking and don't stop."

Barnes looked torn between intrigue and confusion.

"I was told never to surprise Dr. Banner. And why would I want to speak with him about…that?"

Tony grinned and clapped the other man on the shoulder.

"He won't mind. I do it all the time. It's called therapy Bucky-boy and it works wonders, I swear. Besides, Bruce is an awesome listener—he never shares a secret that's not his and he's way too polite to just leave."

Tony shuffled towards his bedroom backwards, still talking as he went, glass of milk in hand.

"Just, uh, don't worry about it if he sort of closes his eyes for a while or starts snoring or something. That's, uh, that's how he shows that he's really listening, y'know? Good luck, Buck!"

And with a wink and a chuckle, Tony ducked into his room for the night.

The next morning found Tony in his workshop, sniggering to himself as he waited for the show to begin. Sure enough, Bruce stumbled into the lounge right on schedule and just stopped when he noticed Barnes perched on the edge of The Couch. Tony turned up the volume on the feed and did his best to stifle his giggles as Bruce started looking around the room, as if he thought the rest of the team would be hiding behind the armchairs.

"Uh… it's James, right? Can I help you?"

And that was all the invitation Barnes needed to launch into a play by play of absolutely everything he'd remembered about his years as the Winter Soldier. Tony paused the feed just as Bruce's expression morphed from confusion to pop-eyed surprise and howled with mirth. Eventually he managed to regain control of himself, sighing and still grinning wide enough that his cheeks ached.

"My G-d that felt good. Alright, JARVIS, let's get back to work. Start playing the feed live, but keep the volume at minimum. I just want to keep an eye on 'em, make sure nothing goes wrong."

"As you wish, Sir. Might I interest you in last night's trial results?"

"Sure, baby. Lay it on me."

An hour passed and Tony was elbow deep installing the panels on his newest suit when JARVIS cut in.

"Sir, you have received a text from Dr. Banner."

"Read it out."

"I was running time-sensitive trials in the labs today."

Tony smirked.

"JARVIS respond: 'I'll make it up to you. Besides, it's time you got more involved with the newbies. P.S. I'm reprogramming JARVIS just in case you get any more funny ideas about my caffeine intake.' End response."

"Message sent."

Tony set back to work, tunelessly humming to himself as he waited for Bruce's reply.

"Dr. Banner's response has arrived."

"Go for it, J."

"You'd better. And nice try, but Ms. Potts likes me more than you and she has the override. Check and mate."

Tony swore loudly, already trying to figure out how to reprogram JARVIS and lock Pepper out of the program without her knowing about it and/or killing him. Upstairs, Bruce flipped his phone shut and returned his full attention to the Ex Winter Soldier.

"…Then I clicked off the safety, swearing that if she showed her face here today, my room would be the last one she ever entered and…"