Author's Note: Thank you to those who have already followed, reviewed, and favorited! Please don't forget to REVIEW-you don't know how much writers thrive on feedback! ;) (Edited by Chereche!)
UPDATED: 12-31-16
Disclaimer: I don't own Girl Meets World, just the story!
Chapter Eighteen: Talking Doesn't Always Work
Riley stood in front of her father, arms crossed, and legs planted firmly. He looked up from his tater tots with a questioning look.
"Yes?"
"Mom said I had to talk to you," she explained. "She said it was your turn, or something weird like that."
"Rats." Mr. Matthews took a bite of potato, which made him a little happier. "What about?"
"Well, about Maya."
"It's always about her," he smiled, and patted the spot next to him. "So, what is it this time?"
Riley fiddled with her friendship ring, and debated on how much to tell him. She wanted to help Maya, and her friends had agreed to give it time, but she thought that maybe having an adult helping would make it go faster. So, she had approached her mother first hoping she would be able to advise, but obviously she wasn't in the mood for it today. Which was fine, but now here she was and she was just hoping her father wouldn't overreact like he tended to do often.
"Maya's going through some stuff right now...and I'm not exactly sure how to help her."
"You can't fix everything Riley. Sometimes people just need to learn and grow on their own."
"I know that," she sighed, and sat down next to him.
"Then why are you here?" he asked.
"Because I'm afraid," his daughter admitted. "She's scaring me. I see it. She's breaking slowly, and I can't fix it...how do you fix it?"
"Oh, Riley." Mr. Matthews put down his fork, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Dad, she's changing so fast, and it's like every time I see her she's different."
He looked at her solemnly. "I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. I have to watch her make her decisions just as much as you do. But, here's the thing, sweetheart. You can't make the choices for her, and you can't force things on her. Only she can do that."
"Then what can I do? I'm her best friend, and I want to do whatever I can to help her." She was on the verge of tears. "I feel like I'm losing her."
"You're not losing her. And what you can do is be there for her. Be the person she can open up to, be the strong ground she needs to walk on, be the love she wants. Riley, that's all that Maya really wants. I don't know what she's going through, or what's going on in her life, but as long as she has support she'll be just fine."
"You can't guarantee that," she sniffed. "I know that's not optimistic, but I've lost my way in the candy cane forest and I can't get out."
He laughed lightly. "Yah, well we can get you out. And nothing in life is a guarantee, that's true. But, it's also what makes it so exciting, there are lots of twists and turns in your story."
"I don't want bad twists and turns."
"I'm not saying that's what's in store for you, honey. I'm just letting you know that even though the sky looks dark, there may be light just behind the clouds. You just can't see it yet," he said softly.
Riley pondered that for awhile, and snuck a tater tot off of her father's plate. He pouted, and slid it away from her with a glare fixed on his face.
"I believe that, I really do," she chewed on the food. "But, are you saying that there's nothing I can do to speed it along?"
"No, of course not."
"Then, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying don't lose faith. When the time comes you'll know what to do...and like I said, just be there for her, Riley. That's your job as her friend. And do what your heart tells you, honestly. If you feel like you need to talk to her about something, do it, because it might just turn out perfectly."
She sighed. "Okay."
Mr. Matthews plucked his potato from the plate, and popped it into his mouth.
"You know, it's almost hard to be upset when you have a tot in your mouth," he grinned.
Riley looked at her father with a small smile. "Mind sharing that love?"
"You already got one." He narrowed his eyes.
She popped out her bottom lip, and gave him the big, brown doe eyes he always fell for. This time was no exception.
"Can I ask you a question?" he said, handing her the food.
"Sure, daddy."
"Do you know what's going on with Maya?"
She sighed, and twirled a lock of chocolate brown hair around her finger. "Not all of it."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked cautiously.
"I thought you just said—"
"No, what I said was do what your heart tells you. And my heart is telling me it wants to know, so spill sister."
Riley pursed her lips. "Can't do that."
"Why not?"
She hit him with a napkin. "You know why. She's my best friend, and I don't blab about what she tells me."
"But—"
Just then, the front door opened to reveal an annoyed Maya, and her stressed mother. The older blonde walked briskly through, shaking off some snow on her shoulders.
"Hi, Cory. I'm really sorry to just barge in here, but I'm late for my flight and I really can't miss it."
"It's okay, Katy." He gestured for Maya to come in, and she reluctantly trudged in. "Nobody really knocks anyway."
She gave him a hurried smile, then turned to her daughter, giving her a one-sided hug.
"Okay, please be good Baby girl." Ms. Hart pulled apart to look her straight in the face. "I love you, and I'm sorry you don't like this, but I promise it's only for a week."
Maya stared back evenly. "Don't make promises, mom."
She straightened, a wounded expression on her face. "And when we get back home, we're discussing what's going on with you. You and I should be just fine; we were just last month."
"Things change."
"You've changed." Her mother tried for a small smile, then walked back to the open door. "I love you, Maya. I will see you soon. Thank you Cory! I appreciate it!"
"Of course, Maya's always welcome here. Have a safe flight!" he called to her retreating form.
After she left an awkward silence settled in. Mr. Matthews glanced between the two girls, his daughter not looking at her friend at all, and Maya slumped against a wall.
"Oh, this is nice." He raised an alarming brow. "Are you guys fighting? You didn't tell me that, Riley."
She swallowed thickly. "We're not fighting."
"Oh, really?" Maya scoffed from her spot. "What do you call an argument then, Sunshine?"
Riley finally met her gaze, hurt evident in her misty eyes. Maya almost felt guilt...almost.
"Can't we just apologize, Peaches? I hate this. Yes, you hurt my feelings, but I'm willing to talk about it. Because you're my best friend."
The blue haired girl tried to maintain her mask of nonchalance, but her gaze softened a bit anyway.
"Fine. Bay window." She turned without a second glance, and headed for Riley's room.
The brunette gave her father a hug, which he returned with one last message.
"Listen to your heart. Don't try to force things. I know it will be hard, but you can do it if you care enough about it."
"I do."
"Then it should be just fine."
Maya loved this spot, it was the safest place in the world. Right now it was snowing outside, and it created a magical effect as it fell. The shadows filtered through the glass, and created black snowflakes on the walls and floor. Black. Everything was black, really. Even white: it was just hiding behind its own mask of brightness. Masks. They were everywhere too...some people had bigger ones than others, but they were there.
Riley interrupted her musings by slipping into her room, and shutting the door quietly. Crossing over to the bay window, she sat down, and rested her head on the glass.
"I love the snow," she commented softly, tracing a shadow as it fell.
"Yah, me too." Maya didn't look outside though.
"Why?"
She blinked. "Why? I don't know, lots of reasons...Riley, don't beat around the bush."
"Just answer the question."
"No. You're right, we need to talk," Maya insisted, a little irritated.
"I want to talk about snow," Riley said stubbornly.
"And I don't. You opened up to me, and I agreed, so let's fix this whole argument thing."
"You think it can be solved that easily?" The brunette furrowed her brow. "You just think all these feelings are just going to go away?"
"How come you say one thing, and then turn around and tell me the complete opposite?" Maya fumed, crossing her arms. "Out there, you were all like "I'm willing to talk! You're my best friend!" Yah, well how come you won't talk in here, huh?"
"I'm talking," Riley protested. "Just not about our...thing."
"Why can't you admit that it was an argument?" she cried in exasperation.
"Because it wasn't!"
Maya laughed bitterly. "Then please, tell me. What was it?"
"It was you not admitting that you're hiding something." Riley threw thought to the wind. It was just so easy to get caught up in the emotions. But, then wasn't she technically listening to her heart? At least a little?
"Oh, really? I thought it was you nagging on me, and telling me I suck."
"What? I never said that!" The two girls were practically yelling at this point.
Maya raised an eyebrow. "Yah, right."
"If it was anyone, it was you! You're the one that basically insulted me to my face!"
Mrs. Matthews opened the door suddenly, an alarmed look on her face. She glanced from girl to girl, confused as to why they were yelling. They never did, even when it was a really bad argument.
"Is this what happens when I decide to take one day off?" she grimaced, and made her way to the bay window.
"Mom, I don't mind if you take a day off." Riley scooted over for her to sit. "And you still can...Maya and I can handle this by ourselves."
"Oh, yes. That's real evident," she answered sarcastically.
"We're just talking."
"Really loudly."
Maya spoke up. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Matthews. We'll be quieter."
"How can you promise that, sweetheart?" she asked.
"Well, to clarify I don't make promises," she answered, standing up. "And I can say that we'll be quieter because I'm leaving."
"What do you mean you're leaving?!" Riley exclaimed.
"Calm down, Riles." Maya couldn't stop the small bite in her words. "I'm only going to take a walk."
"Honey, it's snowing." Mrs. Matthews reminded, putting a hand on her arm.
"I've lived in New York my whole life...a little snow doesn't bother me." She re-buttoned her plaid coat, and pulled on her gloves and hat.
"It's got to be freezing out there, and besides you can't just walk away from a conversation," the older woman pointed out.
Maya straightened, and said boldly: "Watch me."
She strode out into the living room, grabbed her phone from her bag, and opened the door. The two Matthews' women ran in after her, rushing to her side.
"You stop what you're doing right now, Maya," Mrs. Matthews demanded.
She turned. "You don't have to pretend to be worried about me."
"We're not pretending!" Riley spoke up with concern.
Maya didn't answer that time. She continued her march down the hallway, out the lobby, and into the chilly air of New York.
It was dark now, and she figured they would be freaking out. Or maybe not. Who knew anymore? But, all she knew right now was the numbness from the biting wind, and the sharp pain in her left foot. It was only 33 degrees: not a freezing temperature for her, but definitely a cold one. She was sure glad she had her hat, gloves, and coat on...no skirt or tank top to be found either. As to her foot, she had tripped over a small log, and landed funny on her ankle. She knew it wasn't broken or sprained, but it still hurt like heck.
Maya rubbed her probably red nose, and checked her phone again. Yup, over a hundred missed calls...and those were just the ones just from Riley.
And then were some texts from various people...Lucas, Farkle, Zay, Riley, Mrs. Matthews, Mr. Matthews. The only one she really cared about though was the one from that mystery texter. It was really weird, actually. A couple months ago she would have laughed the messages off, but now they hurt. What had changed?
X: Don't believe them; they're all lying to you...they don't care about you, and they're only pretending because they have to. You're such a burden to everyone, so how could they want you around?
She pocketed the phone, and nestled deeper into her coat. Snow was kind of rare in early December, but that didn't mean it wasn't a possibility...and this year had been especially cold. So, the white snowflakes fell steadily around her, creating layers of ice and powder on every surface. Maya really did like the snow...it was beautiful, and she has tried to paint it so many times, but she could never do it justice.
She couldn't do justice to a lot of things lately. Just another part of her failure to do anything useful. And yes, she believed the text. It was way too accurate, so how could she deny the truth?
Her phone buzzed, and she reluctantly pulled it out again.
Lucas: You answer right now, Maya! Where are you? You've been gone for almost 5 hours!
Was it that late already?
Lucas: We're looking for you right now, so please just tell us where you are!
Not a chance. She needed a break from him and the rest of her so called friends. Her phone vibrated again, and Maya let out a groan of annoyance.
Riley: Peaches! I'm so sorry, please, please, please answer! I didn't mean what I said! Okay, I did, but I want to fix things between us...where are you?
Maya decided to turn her phone off at that point. All the messages just made her feel worse, and she really didn't need that right now.
She directed her attention to a lone tree. Well, it was surrounded by its kind, but it was the only one with leaves left at all. Maya felt like that tree, alone, covered in her mask, hiding from the world. How did she break away from all of this? She didn't want to be broken anymore, but she supposed it was the way life worked-especially for her. So, where do you go when you feel lost? She didn't know where home was, or where to find her safe places...Maya Hart was a wandering soul, lost in the crowd and easy to forget. And maybe it was better for everyone that way.
The bright sunlight made her squint as she groaned and sat up. Her whole body ached from sleeping on a bench, and her brain was still a little fuzzy from waking up. Looking around sleepily she turned on her phone, and narrowed her eyes at the time.
Maya mumbled some choice words under her breath, and shivering, slumped back on the bench. Crap, was she in trouble. It was 9:26 in the morning, and she had slept outside all night long. Some people were giving her strange looks, but it wasn't very many. After all it was New York.
She sighed, and stood up stiffly, walking away from the bench. Maya debated what to do next. She could go back, or she could go somewhere else, or she could just wander around a bit longer. It wasn't like they cared that much, anyway. So, actually some coffee sounded wonderful right now.
Maya robotically headed to the first cafe she could find, and entered the warm shop with relief. The smell of coffee beans and the hot temperature was comforting, and she felt strangely at peace. That didn't happen very often, so she tried to relish whatever scrap she could get of it. She ordered her drink, and found a secluded booth by one of their windows, already sipping on the coffee. Unfortunately for her it didn't stay that way for long.
Surprisingly, a tall girl stalked over to her, and plunked herself down in the seat across from her.
Smirking, the girl gulped her own drink, then nudged Maya to get her attention.
"Hey, Hart. Never seen you here before."
She reluctantly turned to the girl facing her. "Probably because I've never been here before."
"No? Well, what do you think?"
"It's good. It's also coffee, and coffee is coffee."
"Not true." Jazz shook her head. "I have tasted some bad coffee, and trust me you'd know the difference after that."
"Eh', well I don't really care right now," she shrugged, and swallowed the dark liquid.
Jazz smiled, and tapped her fingernails on the table. "So, how's life treating you?"
"You know I just saw you like last week, right? And you don't have to pretend around me...no one else is here."
"Pretend what?"
"Cut the crap, please. I'm really not in the mood," Maya snapped.
"Well, I'm in a good mood, so let's try to be civil, okay?" Jazz said tauntingly, her face triumphant.
"I don't want to be. So, here's a thought, I'll just leave."
Maya finished her coffee, burst out the door, and headed onto the sidewalk. Much to her dismay Jazz trailed behind her, running to catch up.
"Hey, we're cousins. We should hang out outside of work, right? Right." She playfully shoved her. "What do you wanna do?"
"Walk alone."
She laughed. "Okay. Where you walking to?"
Maya slowed her pace.
"I don't know," she admitted.
"Well, I wouldn't suggest anywhere near the police station," Jazz chuckled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously.
"They're on the lookout for you, you know. Technically it hasn't been 24 hours, so they're not searching for you per se, but they can still keep an eye out."
"That's wonderful," the smaller girl muttered. "How do you know about that?"
"I hear things."
"Great, well now I kind of have to go home."
Jazz shrugged. "Not necessarily...either way you're going to have to go back eventually, and get the lecture of your life. So, why not delay it why you can? I'm pretty sure you'll be grounded for a little while, if not the rest of your life."
Maya considered her proposal. "That's true...do you have something in mind?"
"Kind of," Jazz grinned.
"Okay, I'm willing to hang out with you, but two things. One, it's purely selfish, and otherwise I would have nothing to do with you. And two, let's not make this activity dangerous or stupid, because I'm in enough trouble as it is."
"Have some faith, Hart." Her cousin directed her attention to making sure she didn't bump into anyone. "I was just thinking we could go to the movies or something."
"Seriously?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Yah, why not? I don't have anything else to do, and they got that great new action movie out."
"Okay," Maya conceded. "But, I'm not buying you any popcorn."
"Nah, I'll pay...I'm nice that way."
"Really? That's the first I'm hearing about it," she snorted jokingly.
But her statement had more truth in it than teasing.
It was dark again, and Maya was considering her options...she could go back to the Matthews, or she could stay out of their way for another day. They probably appreciated not having to deal with all the extra baggage that came with her, so why not hide for another day or two? Or three? At this point, Maya wasn't even sure she ever wanted to return to her life.
But her decision was made for her when she carelessly stepped into the path of a police officer. He gazed down at her with slight irritation then contemplation, which turned into recognition.
"Hey, you that Hart girl?" he asked gruffly.
"No."
The cop raised an eyebrow and reached for his information. Looking back and forth between two, he squinted once more at Maya, and then nodded. Concluding that he had been right, he grabbed her wrist and forced her to move back to his car. Maya didn't even try to struggle—much—because she knew that in the end she wouldn't be the one winning. Not at this, and certainly not at life.
The door closed, and she stared blankly ahead, trying not to look weak. Because even if she lost life's little game, she was going down fighting-and with every inch of dignity she could muster.
