Author's Note: Thank you to those who have already followed, reviewed, and followed! Please don't forget to REVIEW, and enjoy! (Edited by Chereche!)

I can't believe we're on Chapter 20! It's so weird, and I honestly never thought I'd get this far! FUN FACT: This story was originally a one shot I had dreamed up in my head that I had the sudden impulse to write down...I'm sure glad I did! ;) (And I never imagined I'd actually publish this!)

UPDATED: 1-4-17

Disclaimer: I don't own Girl Meets World, just the story!

Chapter Twenty: Can't Find Sleep or Peace

What time was it now? Maya glanced over at the small alarm clock by her bed and groaned inwardly. It was almost 2:30 and she still couldn't fall asleep. What was up with that? For the last couple weeks, she couldn't go to sleep and it was beyond frustrating. To begin with, she still had school and it left her tired and drained for the whole day...and then, the rest of time she just moved sluggishly through it.

Groping for her phone in the dark, she found it by her head and braced herself for the brightness. She pushed the power button and squinted at the light, unlocking her phone in the process. Maya stared at the home page for awhile, before making her decision. There was no way he would respond, but she was bored, so why not? Opening her message app, she clicked on his contact and typed a quick message.

Maya: Hey, Huckleberry! Whatcha' doing?

Resting the phone on her chest, she stared up at the ceiling for a total of 3 minutes before her device surprisingly buzzed.

Lucas: Sleeping...

Maya: Obviously not.

Lucas: Yes, a certain Clutterbucket woke me up ;) What's up?

Maya: Couldn't sleep.

There was a minute of quiet before her phone vibrated again.

Lucas: How come?

Maya: You know as much as I do, Ranger Rick.

Lucas: Maya, how often does this happen?

She hesitated.

Maya: Every night...

Lucas: How long?

Maya: A couple of weeks...it's not a big deal.

Lucas: It kind of is.

Maya: Only if you make it.

Lucas: What do you usually do?

Maya: Stare at the extremely fascinating ceiling...

Lucas: So, why did you decide to text me tonight? Or morning...

Maya: ...I don't know.

She sighed, and rubbed her tired brow. Maya really hated this whole thing: she was so tired of not knowing the whys of anything. Or how she was feeling, or how to fix anything. Her life was so exhausting.

Lucas: What do you want to do?

Maya: Can we just talk?

Lucas: Sure...what's going on?

Maya: Nothing, really...I'm just bored.

Lucas: I can tell when something's going on, Maya.

Maya: You can't even see me!

Lucas: I don't need to.

Maya: That's creepy...

Lucas: Seriously, Maya. What's going on?

Maya: My stepsister and her mother showed up today.

There was a good 10 minutes of silence this time.

Lucas: Oh, gosh...

Maya: That's all you have to say?

Lucas: What do you want me to say?

Maya: I don't know! I don't know anything, Huckleberry...I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. Or what I'm supposed to feel, or what I'm supposed to do.

Lucas: There is no supposed to there. Just feel whatever you want to feel...

Maya: I can't...I just—can't.

Lucas: Why?

Maya: I DON'T KNOW!

On her side of the conversation, she threw the phone on the floor and bit her lip to keep from crying. She was not weak. So, she would get over herself and just live with what life had given her. That's how it functioned, didn't it? Life gave you crap and you just lived with it...story of her life.

From the floor, the phone kept buzzing and Maya slid out of bed to reach it. Picking it up, she slid her finger across the screen and held it up to her ear.

"Yes?"

"Okay, Maya. Let's hear it." Lucas's voice was heavy with sleep.

"I'm not sure what you're shooting for, Sundance," Maya sighed and leaned against her bed on the floor.

"What do you think about it? Just say what you want to."

Maya ran her fingers over her soft sweatpants.

"She gave me her number so I could call them...there's this little girl and she wants to see me. That little girl is my stepsister."

Lucas stayed silent.

"And I knew he had another family and I had accepted it, but this is a whole different thing. Lucas, what am I supposed to do?" Maya's voice rose.

"Do you really want someone to help you right now, or just listen?" He asked softly.

"I don't know." She bit her mouth hard and drew a satisfying drop of blood.

"Okay, then here's what I'm going to say: don't be afraid to do what you feel like. This situation has no obligation to it, so don't worry about it."

She snorted. "Easier said then done."

"Why do you feel like you don't know what you think, anymore? Honestly, think it through."

Maya sat there, frozen in her spot. How did she answer that, when she didn't even know herself? Big shock there.

"Okay, Sundance. I'm going to say it again: I don't know...but, maybe it's because everyone keeps bugging me about everything, huh?"

"Is that really what you think, Maya?"

"Of course it's not!" She rolled her eyes.

Lucas paused and cautiously continued the conversation. "Thank you for telling me about your stepsister, I'm glad you can tell me some things...what did Riley say about it?"

"I didn't tell her."

"You didn't tell her?" His voice was full of surprise.

"No."

"...and you told me?"

Maya pursed her lips.

"I guess so, Huckleberry."

He paused. "Okay, get some sleep, Shortstack."

"That's it?" She raised her eyebrows. "You aren't going to force me to talk about everything?"

"Not right now." He yawned. "It's 3 a.m., and we have school later today."

"Sorry I woke you up."

"I'm glad you did, Clutterbucket...I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Maya sighed. "You know I won't get any sleep right? I'm going to fall asleep in class again."

"Tell you what: I'll buy you coffee tomorrow if you really try to sleep."

She smiled. "Deal...I'll hold you to it, Ranger Rick."

"I know. Good night for real, now." Lucas said, his voice thick with sleep.

"Good night, Sundance."

Maya opened her locker and reached for her history textbook in the far back of her locker, having to stand on her tip-toes even though she was in high heels. She finally managed to grab the edge of it, but slipped on a piece of paper on the ground and started to fall. A hand steadied her and she turned around to find Lucas's grin staring down at her.

"Good morning, Shortstack."

"Ugh, it's a morning, all right," she sighed and lifted herself off of him.

"How long did it take you to fall asleep?" Lucas handed her a cup of coffee, which she practically snatched out of his hands.

"Uh, try 5:30," Maya groaned and took a sip of her drink.

"Seriously?" He raised a concerned eyebrow. "Don't you usually get up at 7?"

"Yah, just about."

"You're telling me you only got 2 hours of sleep?"

Maya rummaged through her littered bag, looking for a lone pencil in the mess.

"1 and a half, Huckleberry." She corrected.

"I don't know how you manage to stay awake." Lucas shook his head. "Gosh, how often do you only get 1 hour of sleep? How much do you usually get?"

"Um, about 3 hours...maybe four." Maya replied absentmindedly, as she picked up an unfamiliar envelope and began inspecting it discreetly.

"How are you supposed to pay attention in class?" He was gaining some attention from other students, but they both ignored them.

She opened the flap and pulled out a slip of paper.

"Not my fault, Sundance...I want to sleep, just as much as you want me to."

"I know, but have you liked tried anything? Why do you think you're not sleeping in the first place?" Lucas sighed.

"Uh—" Maya stared at the photo attached to the paper. "—um, not really...and I don't know."

"I would suggest trying something and I'm sure you have some idea why," he said, watching her hair shift, as she stood in the doorway of her locker. "What are you doing, Maya?"

"Nothing." She stuffed the photo deep into her pocket and slammed the locker shut.

"That was extremely convincing. Bravo," Lucas responded sarcastically.

"Thank you," she bowed mockingly and headed down the hallway.

He ran after her and once he caught up, slowed his pace to match hers.

"Okay, about last night."

"M-hmm?"

"What are you going to do?"

She ran a hand through her blue hair. "I'm not sure, yet."

"Can I suggest something?" he asked cautiously.

Maya scoffed and smirked up at the tall boy. "You can try, Huckleberry."

Lucas took a deep breath. "Why don't you give them a chance? I know it's probably going to be really hard and I don't blame you, but I think you should give it a shot. After all, you're Maya Hart and I know her to be one fierce girl."

"I don't want to." She shook her head. "I want nothing to do with him."

"So, you do know how you feel." He pointed out.

"Kind of."

"Well, that's better...now, we just need to get you to decide logically which is a challenge in it of itself."

"I can think logically," Maya protested. "And my head is telling me it hates my father."

"I don't think you hate your father."

"You can't tell me that," she shot back.

Lucas shifted his collection of books from his left arm to his right.

"I get it; you've been through a lot. Your father doesn't have the best track record. But, when you told me about that memory where you were dancing in the rain, you didn't say it with hate. That memory was important to you and so is your father...whether or not you choose to believe it."

"Whatever." Maya clicked faster down the linoleum floor. "I don't care if I have some idea of how I feel, it doesn't change the fact that I don't like him."

"Yes, but you're not doing this for him, remember?"

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

"That little girl wanted to see you and she didn't care that you were her stepsister...so, it would be for her and not for your father if you chose to reach out to them. And I think it would benefit you and her."

"You know there's something off about her," Maya mused, sliding into another topic easily.

He rolled his eyes. "Please don't try to change the subject again. This is serious."

"I'm not," she insisted. "Look, that little girl said she'd seen me in a picture before and that she recognized me."

"So?"

"So, the last time my dad would have had a picture of me would have been when I was like 7! Don't you think that's weird? How could she have recognized me?"

"I don't know, Maya. Some people look a lot like their baby pictures—or kid pictures..." Lucas sighed exasperatedly. "Can you just promise me you'll go visit them once?"

"I'll think about it." She strode briskly into the classroom, no longer looking at him.

"That's a start," Lucas sighed.

Maya regretted her decision as soon as she knocked on the door, but it was too late at that point. Mrs. Matthews opened the door in surprise, but let her in.

"Hi, honey." She closed it behind the small girl. "What happened to the window?"

"It's temporarily broken." Maya shifted her weight awkwardly.

The older woman pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips.

"Riley's in her spot."

She nodded and started to head into the bedroom, when Mrs. Matthews stopped her with a gentle hand.

"Do you want to take off your coat, first?"

"I have a feeling this isn't going to be a long visit, but thanks." Maya shook her head.

She felt her gaze on her back, as she walked down the hallway and into Riley's bedroom. Crossing immediately to the bay window, she plopped herself down with a sigh and met her best friend's gaze.

"Okay, let's do this." Maya crossed her legs.

Riley tore her gaze away from the tree outside and turned to face the smaller girl beside her.

"I hate this," the brunette began, not daring to beat around the bush this time. "I hate not being able to talk to you and know that you're angry at me...I miss you, Peaches."

"I miss you too, Riles," Maya sighed and fiddled with a strand of bright blue hair. "I just don't even know where to start."

"We could start by apologizing, " she answered.

The other girl nodded in agreement and then waited, with Riley doing the same thing. They both stared at each other and then in unison, their faces darkened.

"Go ahead." Maya cocked her head.

"Me? You're the one who hurt me!" Her jaw dropped. "You should be the one apologizing!"

"Ha! You're the one who was nagging me and telling me how you want me to live my life...which in case you didn't catch, was whatever you thought was best!"

"I'm just trying to help!" Riley's eyes misted over.

"How, huh? By forcing me to do things? Pushing me to my limits and cracking me open like an egg: trying to figure out all of my secrets? Well, no thank you. If that's the kind of friend you're going to be, I want nothing to do with you." Maya stood up, her whole being tingling with anger.

"Don't say that." She shook her head. "I know you don't mean that."

"Who are you to say that?" The girl demanded. "You don't know how I feel."

"But, I know you, Maya...and this isn't what you would think."

The aforementioned girl scoffed and started to open the closed window, bracing herself for the cold blast of air.

"Good bye, Riley."

"Don't leave!" she cried, clutching the smaller girl's foot. "I'm angry at you, but I don't want to lose you as my best friend!"

"Should've thought of that when you did what you did."

"I didn't do anything!"

Maya smirked. "Okay, you think whatever you want to."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it. You're just too caught up in Rileytown to realize other people have their own thoughts and opinions. If you were in charge, no one would get a say in anything and you'd just rule them like a selfish and tyrannical queen."

"Why are we fighting like this?" Riley's voice quivered. "We never do."

Maya turned and lifted her head arrogantly. "You tell me."

And with that, she slipped out the window, leaving behind a crying Riley and any hope she had of reconciliation.

"Honey?" Ms. Hart crept into the room silently.

Maya looked up from her math homework. Boy, was this stuff boring! How did Farkle like it and why did he relish every moment of it? He certainly was a strange little robot—ahem, boy.

"Yah?"

"Are you in the mood for talking?" She asked, sitting next to her and resting her hands in her lap.

"Not really." Maya picked up her pencil again and filled in the bubble next to "B". That seemed right.

"Then, would you be so kind as to oblige me?" Ms. Hart sighed heavily.

"I'm a little busy, mom." She pointed to her paper.

"I think you can spare me a couple of minutes, Maya."

"Fine." She groaned and braced herself for the dreaded conversation ahead.

Ms. Hart tapped her fingers on the bed and tried to decide where to start.

"Okay, honey. I told you we would talk after I got back and it's time now...look, I don't know what's going on with you but I really hope you know you can tell me anything."

Maya propped herself up on one elbow.

"I do."

"Then, can you please tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, mom."

"I'm not blind, Maya," her mother protested. "You're my daughter and I can tell when something's not right."

"Ugh, why can't people just leave me alone?" she muttered.

"Because we care about you."

"Do you? Or are you just pretending?" the smaller girl spat.

Ms. Hart's face was full of puzzlement and concern.

"Of course we're not pretending! Maya, everyone you know loves you. How could you ever think otherwise?"

"Words are just words, right?" She made sure her face resembled nonchalance. "But, actions they speak louder than words...and I'm only judging actions right now."

"You can't just judge actions, Baby girl. I get it, because I've been through lots of things, but words from people you care about don't just come out for nothing. When they love you, they won't just say things because it's the right thing to say, they'll tell you things because they mean it."

"Then how come dad told you he loved you, huh?" Maya's eyes grew bright. "I see how that worked out."

Her mother's face turned sad and hurt.

"Because he didn't love me, sweetheart."

"You said he did...and he must have at some point, otherwise he wouldn't have married you. The point is, you can't trust people and I'm not going to be a sucker in life. Life is going to hand me crap and I'm going to take it with dignity. No matter what."

"Honey, don't think like that." Ms. Hart grabbed her hand. "Yes, life can suck and it's hard, but the real trial is how we deal with what it gives us. How we handle it, is what makes us the person we are...if you give up, or you just plow through your hardships, you aren't going to be the best person you can be. And I want that for you, Maya. Don't just think of life as a thing to get through: it's a gift and even though it can be the hardest thing ever to do, you have to see your troubles as a gift too...because everything happens for a reason and even though you can't see it right now, you'll probably never trade those hard times for anything. In the long run, it can benefit us in ways we'd never expect and if we hadn't had them, things would be so different. And probably not in a good way."

"See, that's the difference between you and me, mom," Maya stared directly into her eyes. "You're still falling for the illusion and I've realized the truth."

"What illusion?"

"That there's still hope in the world...that's there's still hope for you and me. It's not there and I don't ever expect it to be. Yes, good things may come my way once in a while, but it's just the calm before the storm and I'm not going to crash my ship."

"Maya, there's always hope." She sounded so sad and wistful.

"No, mom. There's not. And the sooner I realize it, the better off I'll be."