Chapter Nine

Rick's POV

A few months later...

My wife was several months along in her pregnancy...and I felt like we barely knew each other anymore.

Our group was constantly on the road, moving from place to place so nothing and no one could ever catch up to us, but it had taken a drastic toll on everyone.

I could not help but realize that I was pulling away from Lori most of all.

I couldn't trust her anymore and I hated the way she looked at me with guilt and fear in her eyes.

Herschel Greene, on the other hand, had become a blessing of sorts.

Whenever I second-guessed myself and could not choose one option from the other, he was there, offering a few, wise words that he knew I needed to hear.

It put my mind at ease that while I knew my marriage with Lori was failing, he would be there to help with the baby when the time came.

On a completely different note, I had never seen Daryl so forlorn. While he had never been much of a talker to begin with, now he barely spoke at all to anyone.

He would hunt on his own, not telling anyone where he was going or how long he was going for, come back in silence, and then prepare his kill in silence unless someone gathered enough courage to talk to him.

Something was wrong with him, something was keeping him angry and detached from the rest us.

If I could put my finger on it, I would say he had been acting this way ever since...Shane died.

He had looked beyond angry and frustrated when that news had surfaced, and he had not snapped out of it yet.

I had tried on a few occasions to sit and talk with him, hoping to gain a little more of his trust if I asked him his opinion where our next move should be and things like that, but neither time had ended well.

Each time he had given me the most hateful glare I had ever seen before quickly standing to his feet, muttered something about how everyone just needed to leave him the fuck alone, and then stormed off.

I had never seen Daryl lash out like that to anyone from the group before...especially me.

I had to figure out what was wrong.

He was our best hunter, only tracker, and had become a great friend I could easily rely on over these last months with all of us together.

We survived because we stuck together.

We survived because of people like him willing to fight for our group.

I just didn't know what I should say to him.

X

Everyone was currently taking a much-needed breather, sitting around the living room of an abandoned house we had come across off the highway.

Food was scarce and talk amongst each other was even farther between, as we were all hungry and tired and sometimes silence was just the easiest thing for us all to agree on.

Daryl was chewing on his thumbnail, looking at nothing, until he suddenly sighed through his nose and then stood up from his spot on the floor.

He did not say what he was doing, but I already knew the answer.

I quickly got up to follow him, casting Lori a knowing look as I knew there would be questions to me in her eyes.

The area outside the house was lush with greenery and tall trees that offered camouflage and shade, and I knew that Daryl had noticed that this would make for ideal grounds to hunt small game.

"Daryl...hey wait up for a second, would ya?" I called as loudly as I dared which was not very, but it was enough as I watched as the hunter scuffed his boots as he halted his gait.

"What do ya want, Grimes?" Daryl asked coldly as he turned around to face me.

His beautiful eyes still held that impenetrable steel, but I knew that I just needed one more chance to break through.

I just had to.

"I wanted to come with you...help you hunt us up some food," I answered truthfully enough, not revealing all of my motives to spend time with him as I approached his side, never taking my eyes off of his.

I watched as steel chipped.

"You...help me...with huntin'?" he asked with mild amusement in his voice and I decided to run with it.

"Yeah...it's probably about time I learned a few things and carried my weight around here, don't you think?" I smirked at the stoic hunter, watching as he lowered his eyes to perhaps cover the small smile that touched his lips...finally.

I breathed easier when he nodded his head and brought up a hand to move some of his longer locks of brown hair out of his eyes.

"I reckon we won't be here for long, so there ain't no sense in setting us up some snares...we gon' just have to wait 'til we can track somethin' down," Daryl explained our game plan to me as he and I both walked slowly through the thick trees, minding our path.

I watched as Daryl took note of the sun's position in the sky, where we had entered in the treeline in regards to the road, the softness of the mud below, and probably countless other things I had yet to pick up on from being out here like this.

He really was impressive, his skills being second to none, and I decided that it was now or never to try to understand this important person in my group a little better.

"You're probably right...I figure we can maybe stay the night here...just long enough for everyone to get some food and then we got to hit the road...keep going," I commented a little tiredly as I trekked after the focused hunter, noticing how he flexed his fingers that gripped his crossbow tightly as he astutely looked from left to right.

Daryl remained silent, so I kept speaking.

"Look uh..." I found the words I needed to say being the most difficult to voice aloud and any kind of way around them being non-existent, "...you want to tell me what's been going on with you? Now I'm not trying to pick a fight here...I just really want to understand if there's something wrong."

Daryl turned around at once, his mouth open and the task of hunting totally forgotten as he looked at me while I stammered with my words now, able to practically feel those iron-clad walls of his shoot back up.

"Just what in the hell do you know?!" Daryl snapped at me, taking a step forward, his actions and tone not unlike a feral growl from a wild animal telling someone else to back off.

I could not just let the issue drop, however.

I would not.

"Oh come on, man..." I tried to reason with him, needing him to come clean, needing for him to understand that my approaching him right now was coming from a place of worry, "...your attitude lately has been putting us all on edge, me most of all...and if I'd known better, I'd say this all started around the time that Shane..."

"Don't you fuckin'..." the younger Dixon brother had begun to voice heatedly to me, taking another admittedly frightening step closer before he lowered his gaze and I could almost see the very root of the problem silently cross over his features, "...this is your doin'...I don't see why you needed to kill Shane!"

I gave my head a little shake, not believing my ears at first.

This was what had been bothering him?

I had not even known that they had been close...?

I swallowed down the pang of white-hot jealously that threatened to overtake me so I could continue our conversation.

"He tried to kill me first, Daryl. I had to do what I had to do. Don't you think it was hard for me, don't you think that all that fucking killed me too...he was my best friend!" I had yelled that last word, but I was not prepared for Daryl's reaction.

"I needed him!" Daryl roared before it was like he suddenly realized what he had just said and turned back in on himself, taking a step away from me and not letting me see his eyes.

Now I was really confused.

"What do you mean...you needed him..." I asked, my voice low and gentle upon seeing just how troubled the hunter seemed to be over this matter, taking a small step towards his unmoving form, "...what does that mean...?"

Daryl sighed through his nose, his head down, so I took another step towards him.

"He used to..." Daryl scrunched his eyebrows together for a moment, either unknowing or uncaring of how close I was to him now, "...help me...with somethin'...but what does that matter now, he's gone and now I got no one to..."

I grabbed his arm, cutting off his words and gaining those brilliant blue orbs to lock with mine, shining with their surprise and maybe even something else as I physically and mentally stopped his lamenting.

"Let me help you...whatever it is you need...I want to be the one to help, Daryl," I offered plainly, leaving no room for argument, even though I was not totally sure of what it was that I was trying to persuade the redneck.

I just needed him to know that I cared about him and when he was troubled, I was troubled. Naturally, I would want to help him out so he would not suffer any more, and our group would be stronger for it.

I had meant it – whatever he needed.

Daryl's mouth was slightly open, as if in shock, like he could not believe my words at all and the sincerity behind them.

"Oh...here, you got a little cut right above your eye...just there," I sort of murmured absentmindedly, freeing my hand from his arm and slowly bringing my fingers up to his messy brown tresses that hung down in his eyes.

I carefully pushed back Daryl's long bangs to get a better look at a small but bloody gash just over his left eye, the hunter not moving a muscle while I touched him...but I knew I had heard his breath catch.

"...looks pretty shallow...I don't think it'll be anything to worry about, but we can have someone clean it for you, if you'd like," I tilted my head, directing my own ice-blue gaze from the wound straight into Daryl's features so close to my own, my hand unknowingly stilling with his soft brown hair still woven in between my fingers.

Daryl looked more relaxed than I had seen him in a long time, the hunter welcoming my touches and softly spoken words as he slowly blinked his eyes that no longer held any harshness within them whatsoever.

He looked as if he might just fall asleep right where he stood, his very aura finally telling of a certain serenity coming over him, and I could not help but notice that the hunter was not fighting what I was doing at all.

It was quite the opposite, actually.

It almost appeared as if...he was desperate to feel what I was doing, as simple as it was.

My heart thudded a little too hard inside my chest upon realizing this information, and it was with more boldness fueling me that I let my fingertips briefly touch his cheek before taking hold of his chin in between my thumb and fore finger.

"Come to me, Daryl...about anything..." I provided smoothly and sternly, thanking whatever spell I seemed to have over him in this moment, as his gorgeous eyes glazed over from my direct ministrations with him, "...if something's bothering you, I'll do whatever you need me to so it'll go away. Let me be the one to help you."

Daryl's eyes lowered even though I continued to hold his strong chin in my hand, his pink tongue briefly sliding over his bottom lip to moisten it, instantly catching my avid attention and I forced myself to keep perfectly still.

Such a minute act on his part, but I could not deny that it made me want to kiss those lips of his badly. He looked like he would not push me away if I were to go through with it...

Having him like this here with me now was...

"Come on, let's...finish up here an' get back to the house...'fore the others think we're walker lunch," the hunter's voice was nervous, showing of his uncertainty of if he even believed his own words he was saying to me, as he swallowed hard and then slowly backed away from my touches.

Intoxicating.

I smirked at his attempt to change the color of the mood between us.

"You lead, I'll follow," I said, having to shove down my spiking urge to claim his lips after all, just to see what he would do at this point, as his insecurity towards me was maddening, something that I needed to poke and prod to see just what kind of limits I was facing with him.

He had already shown me loyalty.

I had already long accepted that I thought he was intriguing and handsome.

Perhaps I had meant a lot more by those last words to him after all.