Chapter 42: Next time, I'll send a car round

For disclaimer and author notes please see chapter 1. (Exception: some names in this chapter were not generated using the method described in that AN!)

1989-07-31 17:00 UTC, Kithurst Close

It had taken surprisingly little time for Hobby to calm down, once he was reminded that there were three little kids watching TV elsewhere in the house. Besides, this was Harry's birthday, and there was no way Hobby would rain on that parade.

By unspoken but unanimous consent, therefore, the topic of Dumbledore having potentially murdered Pandora in the old timeline, was left alone till they could revisit it with less emotional heads. Besides, as Nick reminded them, it may have been coincidence; there was no proof that he had murdered her. After all, other than the timing - and that too Hobby couldn't be absolutely sure of the date - there really was nothing else. Sure it was very convenient but that's all it was for now.

And so they had cleaned themselves up as needed, put on their party faces, and proceeded to have fun. Or rather, make sure the kids would have fun, because by about ten minutes past four, all the kids who had been invited had made it, and in most cases with an adult accompanying them.

Molly Weasley was the first one through the floo, at 4pm sharp. She was followed by her four youngest children, in various degrees of excitement.

Molly Weasley had bluntly told her husband she would be going, not he. Arthur had been very disappointed, but he dared not make a big fuss. It's not that he feared the infamous "living room couch" - after seven kids, that was perhaps even a good idea once in a while, as someone at work had joked with him during lunch one day. No, it was more psychological than that. She basically just terrified him. (To be honest, there had been moments when Arthur Weasley would be hard pressed to remember when or how he had got up the courage to propose to Molly. But that's a tale for another time!)

Molly's stated reason was simple. "I do not want you going berserk over the muggle equipment in their house. You'll just make a fool of yourself, and you may even end up unintentionally insulting Lord Black". Her real reason was of course much more crass, though she would never articulate it to anyone, least of all her husband.

In any case, the four children joined Harry, Hermione, and Luna. Hobby watched them for a bit, looking for Ginny's reaction to Harry, but it was very different from his timeline, possibly thanks to the books about Harry Potter being discontinued shortly after Sirius got custody. There was still a little of that, which was probably unavoidable. I think the butter dishes are probably safe, though, he thought.

The only downside was that Molly had decided to stay in the kids room. She was always nice to children, but Hobby still thought the kids should be left completely to themselves, at least until they got to know each other a bit. Fortunately, Hermione's mum was also there (her dad having volunteered to pull double duty at their clinic), and she was more than equal to the task of handling Molly, since Hobby had already primed her.

Cyrus Greengrass stepped out of his car, impeccably dressed for a casual evening in the muggle world, in tan jeans and a deep maroon shirt. Anyone who only saw him in the wizarding world would have been absolutely shocked, not just for the clothes, but also the car and the chauffeur. Sirius's jaw dropped a foot when he answered the door, causing the Lord Greengrass to laugh out loud. Sirius quickly composed himself, and taking advantage of the fact that he too was dressed in muggle clothes (as he always was, of course, when in his home), he decided to take a chance.

"Welcome to my home, Cyrus! I hope you don't mind if we drop the overly formal phrases we were taught from childhood?", he grinned and held out a hand to shake. His misgivings about Harry's trust in this man's neutrality were completely laid to rest - no one who was even remotely a blood purist would arrive in muggle transport.

Cyrus shook his hand with a firm grip, saying "well, ritual or not, the welcome is what matters. Thanks for having us over, Sirius!"

Sirius looked down at the girl standing slightly behind Cyrus, giving her a warm smile. He bent a little to offer her his hand to shake. "Hello Daphne! It's good to have you here. Would you like to join the other kids?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yes thank you Lord Black".

Cyrus and Daphne followed Sirius to the kids' room. He caught Harry's eye, and beckoned him over.

"Harry, this is Daphne. Would you introduce her to the others? We're still waiting for Neville and Susan, but they should be along shortly".

Harry smiled at Daphne. As he and Hermione, who was right behind him, spoke to Daphne, Cyrus and Sirius left. The adults had another room where they could relax for a while, though they'd come back when it came time for the party games. If they felt like it, of course.

Contrary to what she had told Sirius, Madam Longbottom did accompany Neville. As she gracefully stepped out of the floo, she looked at Sirius with a hint of apology.

Sirius quickly bade her welcome. "I'm so glad you were able to come after all, Augusta!", he exclaimed.

"Thank you Sirius! I hope my unexpected change of plan is not an inconvenience?"

"Not at all", said Sirius. "Let me show you to the drawing room, and then I will take Neville to the kids' play room, where the other kids are".

He stopped for a few minutes enjoying Madam Longbottom's expression when she saw Cyrus, and Cyrus's expression in return. Chuckling to himself quietly, he took Neville to the play room, and came back quickly. Neville knew Harry anyway, and Harry would take care of the rest.

The room they were all sitting in, had a large bay window looking out into the front garden. Toward the left was the front gate, usually left open for Remus, in case he decided to drive here - it was rare, but not unheard of.

To Madam Longbottom's immense surprise, two cars drove up. The first one, looking a little beaten up, drove in and parked in the drive way. The other one, which looked like it was pretty new - not that Madam Longbottom would know car models, but at least it shone brilliantly - stopped just outside.

Almost in synchrony, three doors opened. From the older car's driver's side door, a young man about Sirius's age stepped out. From the other car, Martha Bones, the minister's sister-in-law, stepped out of the driver's side door, and simultaneously, young Susan opened the passenger door.

She stared goggle-eyed. She had never imagined that two of the oldest pureblood families had such close muggle connections. She had always prided herself on her family being "light", and therefore tolerant of muggles, half-bloods, etc., unlike those cowardly fools who had ruined the lives of her son and his wife.

Sirius could almost read her mind. "Surprised, Augusta? You did not know that Martha runs an agency that works in both our worlds?"

"No I did not. Nor did I know that Lord Greengrass was so comfortable in the muggle world, or at least with muggle clothing", she said.

It wasn't clear how to take this comment. While Sirius and Cyrus were trying to figure out how to respond, she decided to lighten it up.

"I am so glad I decided to leave my hat at home", she said.

A hastily muffled snicker came from somewhere behind Sirius's chair. Sirius quickly covered it up by coughing and pretending it was him.

By 5pm, the kids were making as much noise as though they'd known each other for years - which is quite easy with kids. Since there were no statute issues, Kreacher had been moved from his station at the floo, to take charge of helping the kids in any way they needed, or if not, just to keep watch and make sure there were no accidents or whatever. Mrs. Granger could only do so much, and Hobby did not really trust Mrs Weasley.

1989-07-31 17:00 UTC, Ministry of Magic, Floo Regulation Office

The floo system was an interesting invention. Much like the internet that we know now, it was designed and the network was built during a time when the idea that security was required had never crossed anyone's mind - not the inventors (Galofalo Purplebanger and Cherubicus Fingergoop), and certainly not the adoring public, who finally had a way for their doddering oldies to get from point K to point Q without fear of splinching.

As such, it was well into the beginning of the century before people realised that a rash of petty burglaries in homes that were too poor to afford wards were due to the insecure floo network, and efforts began to be made to add a password feature to the system.

Anyway, the mechanism to set a password was complicated and time-taking, and the ministry deemed it to be too much of an effort for temporary connections.

(Many (many!) years later, Hermione would - more as an entertaining diversion from her main work rather than out of any long-term interest - write a short treatise on the problems of the password system, winning her accolades from various people - mainly because until she wrote about it, many people did not realise that, although it was hard to setup a password mechanism, it was trivially easy for the owner to change the password, without even notifying the floo office or needing their help. The fact that she based the bulk of her work on her experiences, in the early 2000s, with passwords on the internet, and the phenomenon of phishing and social engineering, was glossed over - no one understood the section in which she acknowledged her source of inspiration, so they just ignored it! Only Harry knew she had once been hacked, although even he did not truly understand all the details of how she had gotten her revenge on the muggle government agency that was behind the attack!)

Even having a password would not protect against the floo authority personnel themselves being nosy bastards, of course, so as far as the temporary connection in Sirius's muggle home was concerned, a password would not have prevented the currently on-duty employee of the floo office from watching who was visiting, listening in on the activity, and monitoring for a prolonged period of quiet.

"Typical bloody foolish blood-traitor behaviour", she muttered to herself. "Not having the forethought to install a permanent floo when he first moved there and set a password on it".

There was no one else there at that time so she may as well have spoken clearly and loudly, but long hours spent alone had given her a Gollum-like mode of communicating with herself, and speaking to herself. (Fortunately, she had not developed any other symptoms that turned Smeagol into Gollum - the bent-over posture, the shuffling gait, etc.)

"I will take my revenge for my darling Antonin's death", she growled. She had long had a major crush on the death-eater, solely on the basis of him being moderately good looking, combined with having bestowed on her a warm smile one day when he had come in to have his floo connected or something.

After that he had visited her a few times, with what appeared, to her, to be merely excuses, so she was certain he also felt something for her.

Never mind that she at least had been married for a year by the time she had first met him. Such was the lonely life of Arabietta Edgecombe of the Floo Regulation Office.

1989-07-31 17:30 UTC, Kithurst Close

Arabietta Edgecombe, now finally off-duty, stepped into her own floo. But instead of shouting out her home address, she shouted out the temporary address Sirius had chosen ("Kitty Close" - he had shortened Kithurst because speaking clearly was very important in the floo network, and he didn't want to risk any of his visitors accidentally fumbling on that word).

She stepped out of it into an elegant parlour, and listened for a minute. From the far end of a longish passage, she could hear the squeals of children. Was this a kid's party? Of course, she smacked her head with her palm. It was the Potter boy's birthday, wasn't it?

Could she dare? Would she succeed? She had come in with no clear plan in her mind, only a vague notion of inflicting some damage. Preferably to the Phantom (such was her arrogance - she was well and truly on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger curve), but since he was unlikely to be here, then to Black himself, for being his unofficial champion and/or spokesperson.

Could she turn her target to the Potter boy? What would she do? Was she capable of murdering a child? Absolutely NOT, she shuddered. Then what?

Unable to decide what she could do to the kids that would allow her to look her own daughter in the face later (and thus redeeming herself somewhat in the eyes of any supposed "providence"), she turned to the other room whence came a more subdued, certainly adult, conversation.

She knew that Madam Longbottom had come in, and also that dumpy Weasley woman (oh what a shrill, grating voice she had!). And that was it. Two blood traitors, one of whom was too old to put up a fight anyway. (She had missed Pandora, somehow, but even if she had seen her, she would not have been too worried - two blood traitors and one crackpot, would have been her assessment).

As she got closer, she slowed down and walked a bit more quietly, holding her wand out, with a spell on her lips ready to go. As soon as she saw someone, she pointed at the person - Sirius Black, who was facing the door, and shouted out an explosion curse.

Kreacher heard the floo activate, despite his current job of making sure the kids were having fun, and helping as needed. He was sure Sirius had not invited someone else, but did not want to leave his assigned post. Instead, he raised an eye at Dobby, who was standing off to one side, enjoying (vicariously?) Harry's joyous enjoyment of his first birthday party, and asked, "is Master Sirius expecting anyone else?"

Dobby thought for a moment. There was no one he could think of. He almost shrugged it off, then his danger sense went into overdrive. Not only were they not expecting anyone else, it should not even be possible for anyone to know of this floo connection.

He popped straight over to the floo room. There was no one there, but he heard footsteps leading away, and the back of some woman just turning the corner toward the drawing room. He would be too late to simply run after her; she was already lifting her wand hand, so he did the only thing he could: he transformed into the Phantom and popped in front of her, reaching her just as she started shouting a spell.

Before she could complete it, he had wrenched the wand from her grasp and broken it.

Wandlore was an arcane subject that, in this day and age, possibly only Ollivander had any depth of knowledge in. How does a wand work? What does it actually do? No one really knew. Or rather, no one really cared to know.

The result of this incident would fuel idle, but only theoretical, speculation for years. Why only theoretical? Because, while the incident did serve as the trigger for an intellectual "hmm, I wonder...", it also didn't indicate any safe avenues for research.

What happened was simple: Edgecombe's wand arm exploded from just above the elbow on down.

The Phantom took the brunt of the mess - he was standing so close to her that his body effectively shielded most of the rest of the room from the blood and bits of bone. Some of it escaped from the side, and made an interesting pattern on the floor and the walls.

The Phantom cleaned himself up with a quick motion of his wand. Another swipe cauterised the stump, and a third cleaned up the floor and the walls.

Edgecombe fainted and fell down in a heap.

1989-07-31 18:00 UTC, Kithurst Close

It was a testament to the type of friends that Sirius - knowingly or not - was cultivating that all the adults in the room were calm - not even Martha Bones, who - due to her occupation of "real estate agent" - might have been expected to be far from danger in her day-to-day life, screamed or went into hysterics. She did look a bit shaken, but that was all.

Madam Longbottom was completely unfazed. And Cyrus Greengrass looked just as impassive.

"Krea-", started Sirius, but Kreacher had heard the curse and was already there. He took one look at the woman and looked to Sirius for orders.

"Call the DMLE, Kreacher, and then stay near the floo for the rest of the evening. Did any of the kids hear the curse?"

"No master Sirius. They've stopped playing games and are watching a movie, and the TV is too loud".

Sirius nodded, and Kreacher left to call the "cops", so to speak.

Madam Longbottom wondered what a TV was. Martha Bones looked a bit surprised, but then realised she shouldn't have been. Cyrus laughed quietly, earning a questioning glance from Sirius.

"Nothing. TV... your mother must be rolling in her grave!"

Sirius grinned, but did not reply. Now was not the time.

Martha coughed gently. "Do you have a phone I can use? Amy has one at home, and by now she should be home. I'd like her here if at all possible".

Sirius pointed to the hall. "Excellent idea; I agree completely - if she is not too busy, it'd be nice to have her here. First door on your right is a small study; you'll find a phone on the desk."

Within a few minutes, Amelia had flooed in, and Kreacher had guided her to the drawing room, before going back to his place by the floo.

"Does she need a healer?" asked Amelia.

"I doubt it. She'll have some trauma from her hand exploding, but the pain should have gone as soon as I cauterised it", said the Phantom.

"Aah, you're here. Why am I not surprised?", said Amelia in a dry tone. But she was smiling, and the Phantom grinned back at her.

"We were lucky. I was late to the party, and had just popped in when I saw this woman raising her wand to Sirius."

"So you blasted her hand?"

"Certainly not. I snatched the wand away before she could finish the word 'reducto'. Her hand then exploded in a huge mess of blood and bone fragments."

"And you cleaned it all up?"

"Amy", interjected her sister-in-law. "It was unsightly and unsettling. I'm glad he did, although he seems to have forgotten the ceiling". She pointed up.

"Ouch!", said the Phantom, and cleaned that up too.

Amelia sighed. Normally she would have wanted samples of the blood to analyse, but with Madam Longbottom, Lord Greengrass, Lord Black (to use their formal names), and her own sister-in-law present, it was clear she did not need to verify that the blood was Edgecombe's.

But she was not the DMLE head now; so technically this was not her call. That was Shacklebolt's job.

Kingsley Shacklebolt walked in just then. Normally, the director of the DMLE would not respond to calls - this was way below his pay grade. But this particular residence, housing the boy-who-lived and his powerful godfather, was one of the "VIP flagged" locations in the DMLE's internal list, so he got wind of it. By complete chance, Amelia had also casually mentioned while they were winding up a meeting that morning, that her niece would be here for Harry Potter's birthday party.

It took Amelia a very short time to brief him, while two of the aurors enervated Edgecombe, and escorted her to their holding cells.

Amelia turned to Sirius. "We'll find out what happened - I think, considering who all are in this room, no one will object to veritaserum being used. We'll get everyone who is involved in this, directly or indirectly", she said.

Sirius was nothing if not a gracious host. "Amelia, I'm sure that can wait. Why don't you join us for a few drinks and some conversation? Your niece is back there watching TV; once their movie finishes we'll get to the food. Stay?"

Before she could answer, he turned to Shacklebolt and said "that offer is open to you too, Mr Shacklebolt", he said. Hobby had told him how, in his past life, Shacklebolt was in charge of the "hunt" for Sirius Black, and how he had handled that responsibility. Although it had not happened here, he had some vague feeling of gratitude to the man. Besides, he was just being a good host.

Kingsley demurred. "Thank you for the invitation, Lord Black, but I need to be going. My wife and I have plans for later in the evening", he said. "Minister, I'll have the boys prep her for questioning tomorrow; she won't be going anywhere".

"One moment, Mr Shacklebolt", said the Phantom. "When you question her tomorrow, could you also ask her the following question: what are the names of all the people you know in the ministry who were sympathetic to Voldemort's cause, but did not take the mark or do anything overtly yet".

Amelia sighed again. Their world had had a couple of years of peace and quiet, but apparently it was not to last. She had long given up any hopes of bringing this wizard up on any charges, mainly because her own sympathies had betrayed her sense of duty.

"What are you suspecting, Mr Phantom?"

"Please Minister, just call me... 'James' will do, I guess. I may have told you already, that 'Phantom' was a title I took on as a joke, and then it just stuck. But to your question, I will tell you there are many such people in the ministry. Umbridge was the most odious and most visible of them, but she was by no means the only one. If Voldemort ever comes back, these are the people he will try to recruit."

"And if they do, you will simply take the law into your own hands again?", she asked.

"Not while you are the Minister. Dolohov was an exception, an outlier".

Amelia nodded. She had to take what she was being offered, and to be honest the Phantom had always respected her; she had no complaints.

Turning to Sirius, she said, "I'll stay for some time Sirius, thank you for the invite." She then nodded to Kingsley, who was leaving, and made herself comfortable in the group here.

"Sirius, I need to go ask Ollivander some questions; I'll be back by the time you guys start eating but if I'm not, please don't wait for me". With that, the Phantom bowed to everyone in the room, and disappeared.

Additional ANs: (1) This chapter ran away with itself; this was not what I had originally planned at all. Oh well. (2) Please don't get used to the 1-week update that happened here; I will try to maintain it but am not sure I can! (3) The Dunning-Kruger effect is real; look it up on wikipedia or elsewhere :)