Chapter Eleven
Rick's POV
It had only been a couple of days since I had last seen Daryl, and my mind was already spinning with thoughts about him.
Our time together had surprised me.
He had surprised me.
There had been so much longing in those beautiful eyes of his, his every look having begged me to keep going, to give him more...that he would let me do whatever I wanted.
Days later, and I am still drowning with memories about those eyes.
He had trusted me completely and I honestly could not remember the last time I had felt something so profound as Daryl Dixon's fingers clutching my forearms a little tighter, telling me without words that he loved it.
I had felt inebriated when I had forced myself out of that bathroom, the bigger part of me knowing that Daryl probably needed some time to collect himself and accept what had just happened between us.
Just the same, throughout the entire time he and I had been together, wrapped in a veil of doing something so intimate and drinking each other in, I had never wanted a person as much as I had wanted him in that moment.
And now...
It was all I could think about.
Our relationship had changed forever, there was no questioning that.
Now I just needed to make sure he was okay with that...
X
Daryl's POV
I licked the roof of my mouth as I sat on the warm pavement, cleaning Merle's motorcycle the best I could, anything to keep my hands busy.
The sun shone brightly, nearly blinding me if I looked up too much, but I loved that white light that drowned away any kind of darkness from being around me.
I adjusted how I sat cross-legged on the ground, scooting closer to the bike and continued to wipe clean the smaller parts that had gotten caked with mud.
I was happy.
I felt settled, peaceful, and more at ease than I had for a long time.
I knew it was not just the fact that Rick had physically gotten me off a couple of days ago.
It was more than that; it was everything else he had done for me.
I couldn't get that man or the things he could do out of my mind.
Even Carol had said that I seemed to be smiling more these passed few days.
I took a deep, relaxing breath and let it out slowly, my eyes leaving the black bike in front of me again and sweeping over untainted green grass that stretched far out to the trees below.
I felt like I could fall asleep to that view.
"Hey uh Daryl...? You out here?" I could hear Glenn call out followed by a gated door tapping shut behind him as he came outside.
I cleared my throat and stood up, jamming the red rag into my back pocket.
"Hey...what's goin' on?" I asked him, seeing him seek me out and then walk the short distance over to me, his hands smoothing down over his jeans.
"...hey...Beth wanted me to let everyone know that food's ready, so come on in when you want to eat," Glenn spoke a bit nervously, I noticed, not really looking me in the eye.
"Thanks..." I replied before deciding that I needed to add, "...listen uh...sorry about the other day...about giving you and everybody shit about nothin'..."
Glenn immediately seemed to perk up upon hearing my apology I had admittedly just thrown together.
But I knew it was something I needed to own up to.
I had acted like a total jackass.
"No, no...it's...you don't need to apologize...it's alright, really," Glenn sort of struggled to say something coherent, like too many starts to thoughts were going around inside his head and he didn't know which one he should say first.
I nodded in understanding, glad that I had patched everything up with him.
The two of us walked back inside together, Glenn already talking my ear off about one of Maggie's ideas for the prison and what Carl had did the other day.
I didn't mind.
While part of me listened to the kid, the other part of me was quickly coming to realize that Rick would probably be inside with the others.
How would I react?
What was I supposed to do here?
Interestingly enough, a silent answer easily flashed across the forefront of my mind, having an uncomplicated end to all my questions...and I felt okay with it.
I opened the gated door and Glenn opened the subsequent door that lead down the corridor after that, still talking away.
"Of course, there is still the matter of who will go on our next run tomorrow," he went on, this time catching my attention as he navigated out of the corridor and into the main area, already hearing some people chatter and the clinks of eating utensils hitting the bottoms of bowls, "...this one might be kind of tricky, since we need..."
"I'll go," I answered him, interrupting before he could go into the details, not that they mattered to me one way or another.
Whatever the group needed, I would provide or die trying.
Glenn broke out into a bright smile, something I had to look away from and make sure none of the others were looking at me the same way he was.
Rick.
Rick was there, watching me slyly as he spoke with his son.
"Really?! That would be so awesome! Thanks, Daryl!" Glenn exclaimed a little too loudly for my comfort and my eyes snapped back over to Rick.
He was watching me intently now and a small smile curved his lips. There was something behind those too-blue eyes of his, like he was devouring me right where I stood.
Fuck.
I patted Glenn on the shoulder once, telling him in my own way that it was no trouble, and then I made my way further into the room.
"There you are...I thought we'd never find you. My cooking's not that bad, is it?" Carol teased as she handed me a bowl of steaming hot soup, smirking as she did do.
"...thanks," I muttered quietly, starting to feel a little embarrassed as I turned around after receiving my food and then walked to the one person around whom I would feel most comfortable.
"Food smells delicious, Carol, thanks," Rick smiled politely at the woman as she set down a bowl for him, the former cop already settling in at one of the bench seats, eyes watching me patiently as I approached his same table, possibly for the first time ever.
"No problem. I like to see my boys eat a good meal every once in a while," Carol commented and nodded at Beth who was helping her serve everyone and then store the leftovers.
Rick smiled and looked down at his food as I squeezed in next to him, ignoring the tightening in my stomach and the slight shake I could feel in my fingers.
Once I sat down and relaxed my weight a bit, I immediately felt better.
Our shoulders and knees were touching but we did not look at each other while we ate.
"So...when can I start going out on runs? I want to contribute too, dad. Everyone here knows I'm old enough..." Carl spoke up from across the table, directing his question towards Rick who barely looked up from his food, as if he had known his son was going to bring up such a topic.
"Well, I don't know..." Rick began, finally licking his lips and cocking his head to a side, "...maybe the next one...after me and Daryl go tomorrow."
I almost dropped my spoon.
"You're goin'?" I asked the group leader, casting him a sideways glance and watching as he caught every second of it for himself, him seeming to have known that I would look at him that way.
"Yeah. We got a lot of things we still need, so I'm going with you tomorrow and make sure we get everything we can," Rick answered as if I should have known already as much.
I could only nod in agreement to his statement, feeling tongue-tied, and I could not help it when I shifted a little in my seat, causing our sides to brush and our shoulders to bump.
I was hyper-aware of all where we were touching, those places of my body feeling positively on fire in this moment as we continued to eat in relative silence.
Inside, I was going crazy...needing something and not knowing how to ask for it.
I swallowed another mouthful of soup and slowly lifted my gaze up Rick's form to seek out his profile, my long brown bangs hanging in my vision but I didn't care.
Blue.
So bright and warm and...just the look of his wise, beautiful blue eyes on me was already calming me down and setting me on edge at the same time.
And he was so close.
The last time he and I had been this close, we had been...
Suddenly, Rick winked.
He winked at me!
My eyebrows shot up in shock and I quickly faced forward like I had just been electrocuted.
Maybe I really had been.
X
The next morning...
I leaned against the side of the car, waiting for Rick and also taking some time to be by myself.
I had barely slept for more than a few hours at a time the night before and I had risen with the birds this morning due to sheer nervousness.
After dinner had ended last night, everyone had gone their separate ways, tending to their own tasks and chores.
I had resorted to avoiding Rick altogether again, and it had not taken long for me to regret it.
Since the beginning, he had been nothing but extraordinarily good-natured and straight-forward with me...so didn't he deserve the same from me?
I felt like shit, and once again, I could feel an apology burning on my tongue to say to him.
I huffed a sigh, crossing my covered arms over my chest as I continued to breathe in the early morning air, letting its chilly crispness cool my lungs.
I could really go for a cigarette right now.
"...no wonder I couldn't find you inside...you're already out here," Rick Grimes suddenly called out to me, his steady southern drawl pulling me pleasantly out of my own thoughts as I dropped my arms to my sides and pushed off of the car to face him.
"...couldn't sleep," I offered half of an explanation at best as to why I was ready to go so early, as I watched him approach.
His gait was strong and confident, like he could take on any problem, face any challenge, and he would always come out on top.
So far, he had seldom let those expectations down, and for that reason, I felt it necessary to look him in the eye when he or I spoke.
"Yeah, I slept pretty terrible myself..." Rick admitted conversationally, casting a look passed the prison gates towards the slowly trudging walkers and the miles of trees thereafter, "...I must have had something on my mind."
I blushed hotly and dropped my gaze.
I was not even sure if he had meant what he had said in such a way for me to feel suddenly embarrassed, but I did nonetheless.
Something about his tone, the smoke that was underneath his voice to me...
"So uh..." I began but cleared my throat, having to gain his eye contact back after a few attempts on my part, "...where're we goin'? Glenn said this run was gon' be important."
Rick smirked, one hand settled on a hip while the other rested comfortably along his gun at his side.
"It is...and I'm driving," Rick informed me with a quirk of an eyebrow that told me not to argue as he navigated to one side of the car, leaving me to have to go to the passenger side to get in.
I craned my neck as I took off the crossbow from hanging down my back, knowing that I needed to have it within arms' length once inside the car.
The damned car was a little cramped for my liking, but I tried not to mind as I lowered my crossbow to rest on the floor board in between my legs, me having to shift my weight a little bit.
Suddenly overly conscious of the tight space, I glanced over to Rick who was watching me with amusement in his eyes, a small smirk curving his lips.
"You ready?" Rick asked and I could practically feel those sky-blue eyes touching me, warming me.
"Mm-hmm," I murmured in agreement, trying not to act so affected by his gaze alone as I faced forward.
I could already feel a thousand questions roar to life inside my mind along with the engine of the vehicle, having to physical clench my jaws together so none of them would not escape my mouth to him.
"We're going to this strip mall on the edge of town. It's about forty minutes away. Glenn found it for us on one of his maps," Rick began explaining our task to me, him being totally focused on the road while I could barely remember two things he just said due to my overworking mind, "...we need to try to find all the baby supplies we can."
"Baby supplies, huh..." I decided to speak up, "...shouldn't you have taken one of the girls with you, then? Maggie? Carol?"
Rick shook his head before answering, making a left turn onto the main road.
"I knew I needed you because we have to get the heavy stuff first," Rick said, casting his gaze over to me to gauge my reaction.
That made sense to me, but I already knew that Rick was just as aware as I was that that would mean more liability for us on this run.
We would not be able to move as fast carrying heavier supplies and that would make us more susceptible to being attacked.
But I also knew that that kind of thing was understood between Rick and myself. He could ask me to do these types of things, things that the rest of the group would not do, and I would always agree.
I would risk my life if Rick asked me to.
It was okay.
I remained silent for the drive to our destination, chancing one more look towards the former cop beside me, knowing that whatever we were about to face when we arrived, we would face it together.