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Chapter 4 is up, guys! Enjoy!

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Chapter Twenty-Six: Needing A Vacation

"...so, the answer is obviously y=3x-2/3." Farkle said and scratched the words onto the paper, before he looked up at his friend expectantly.

"That's wonderful, Farkle." Maya groaned, "But I don't understand."

"We learned this last year."

"So? I'm obviously incompetent."

"You're not incompetent, you're just not trying. Maya, I know you can understand this; it's very simple."

"Not for me," she muttered.

"Liar." Farkle turned from the blonde and reaching inside of his backpack, brought out a blue folder. "Look at this, and tell me the same thing."

She pursed her lips. "I'm incompetent."

"Oh my gosh, Maya." Farkle shook his hand, and slapped the folder into her hands. "Look inside."

She rolled her eyes, but opened it, and drew a sheet of paper from its contents. Scanning the page quickly, she looked back up at Farkle.

"Okay. What's this supposed to be?"

"Your homework!" He cried. "Look, you have an A- on this one!"

"How did you even get this?" Maya rifled through the rest of them, a little panicked. "I never even did these assignments, remember? I got detention for it."

"Obviously you did them," Farkle smirked, looking way too pleased with himself. "And you got really good grades, too."

"How did you get these?" she demanded.

"Riley."

The blonde took in a deep breath. "And how did she get them?"

"That information is classified."

"I don't want to hear that crap, Farkle." She was getting angry. "Tell me, now."

"Maya, calm down." He tried not to sound too offended. "I'm your friend, remember?"

"Sorry." She closed her eyes, and focused on slowing her breathing. "Do you have any idea where Riley got these?"

"Not exactly...but, I think she found that one in a recycle bin at her house. She said you guys did some homework thing a while ago, and she was never sure where your work went when you did it at her house...now, she knows. For a couple of them, at least." Farkle admitted.

"Wonderful." Maya muttered, and ran her fingers through her wild hair.

"Why did you do that?" he asked cautiously after a minute of silence.

"Do what?"

"Throw away your work? It's good."

"How did these even get graded?" the blonde asked, finally looking back up at her friend.

"Riley and I did it...we were curious. Look, you say you're not smart, but this just proves that you are. What's going on with you? Why do you do this?"

"I don't know."

"I think you do." The boy got up, and sat down on the couch next to Maya. "Please just tell me."

"Can't I just say I don't know? Maybe I really don't, okay?"

"Not this time."

"How could you possibly know that, Farkle?"

"Because I know you...and I know your mind. You're way more intelligent than you think, and I really want to know why you're denying yourself success."

"I'm not denying myself success," she mocked him with her fingers making air quotes. "I just don't like homework."

"That statement has nothing to do with the topic...whether or not you like homework, you still a, did it, and b, did a good job on it. Why are you throwing it away?"

"Because I know there's no point, okay?" Maya blurted out loudly. "I'm stupid, incapable of anything, too reckless, distracting, a fake, a—"

"Okay, stop right there. Where did you get all that?" Farkle looked surprised, and a little concerned. He had been aware Maya was struggling, but he didn't realize it had to do with self-destructive thoughts too.

"I don't know. My life?" She brought her knees to her chest.

"No, it came from your own mind."

"If you're just going to answer your own questions, why do you even bother asking?" Maya sighed.

"Okay, back on topic please." Farkle redirected.

"Fine, but I don't know what else there is to talk about," Maya conceded, folding her arms.

"Everything! We haven't really discussed anything yet!"

"Yes, we have—"

"Just tell me why you feel this way."

"I can't explain my brain to you, genius," Maya raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not asking for that." Farkle answered, a little impatiently. "What I want is for you to a, realize that you're not stupid, and b, let yourself have good grades! Obviously you can accomplish them, and even though you threw them away, now there's evidence!"

"I just don't want to do it."

"Want to do what?"

"Deal with it all...Farkle, don't you get that even if I did well in school for a while, it would all eventually go downhill, and end up worse than before?"

"Is that what you really think?"

"Yah, that's how my life goes." The blonde shrugged, trying to seem indifferent.

"Maya, that's not what's going to happen."

"How can you say that? How can you just believe that everything's going to turn out great?"

"I don't...I just hope." Farkle looked into her eyes deeply. "Don't be afraid to hope. If what's keeping you from doing well in school is your own fear, than you have no one to blame but yourself. The good news is it's also able to be fixed. If you can just acknowledge that you're holding yourself back, you've already made amazing progress towards getting better."

"Well, what if I don't want to be fixed? Because the Maya Hart I remember didn't deserve anyone, and she certainly needed to be careful with how close she got to everyone or else she might just hurt them too."

"Wait a minute." The skinny boy held up a hand. "Is that why you won't admit your feelings for Lucas?"

"Haven't we already had this conversation?" Maya squinted.

"Apparently there's more to the story," he reminded her. "So, is that the other reason you won't tell me you like him? Because you're afraid you don't deserve him?"

"I don't know, Farkle. You tell me; you're the genius." She rubbed her forehead.

"Like you pointed out earlier, I can't exactly read your brain."

"I don't like talking about this."

"Too bad...I'm telling you to open up, and you're going to do it."

"Says who?" The small girl cocked her head warningly.

"Says your friend who's tired of you hiding all of the time. It's so frustrating because we want to help you, but we can't because you won't let us."

"Maybe because I don't need it."

"Maybe you do and you're just incredibly stubborn."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes, and gave up. "If that was the reason for staying away from Lucas—which it's not—it would make sense wouldn't it?"

"No. I think you do like Lucas, but it's like Harper was talking about last year. Sense and sensibility...what you think you feel versus what you feel. You're tricking yourself, Maya. You are your own worst enemy."

"What do you mean I think something different than what I feel? That makes no sense." Maya unfolded her legs, and set her feet on the low coffee table.

"You're telling yourself that you need to stay away from Lucas, and it's for the better...that you need to stop him from getting through your defenses. And then on the other hand, your heart knows what it wants, and it's not letting your mind take over."

"I'm not going to tell you you're right," she said stubbornly. "And how do you think that you can just know everything about me?"

"I don't...but I observe, and I know your character. So, yes I'm making a hypothesis, but it's a logical and plausible one," Farkle answered. "Look I get you're not going to tell me anything else, so I'll try to wrap this up...if you can take anything away from this conversation, I hope it's that you need to learn to hope. Don't be afraid to feel, and don't push people away because you're scared...if you can't do it for yourself, do it for your friends. We want you to be happy, Maya."

"Okay, Farkle. I'll try."

"Good...now, I'll let you go back to math; but someday we will discuss this homework thing again."

"Great."

Maya picked up her paper and pencil, and tried to focus on graphing lines, but she couldn't. Because it was in that moment that Farkle had said "do it for your friends", that she realized that was exactly what she had and would do. These last couple of weeks, she had been so much better, right? But, in who's opinion? Her friends; not hers. All of this, she was doing for them; that was the brain part of it, and she was sure her mind was making a concerted effort to be better...

Except her heart was true to herself. Because it knew that she wasn't happy, and no matter how much her physical and mental appearance changed; it was just another layer to heap onto her mask. The hurt, the brokenness, the anger, the fear; it was all lurking deep in her heart far away from prying eyes, and far away from friend's judgments and hurt. Maya wasn't going to be the one responsible for their hurt; just her own. She had plenty of practice in that department anyway, and only one of them needed to be broken, so she was going to be that one...no one else knew, but that was okay. Maya Hart was a silent, broken, loyal girl hiding behind a thick, tough, wild mask.

And that was the cold, hard truth hiding behind a fake, tricky lie.

"Maya!"

"Hey, Hope." She bent down, and gave the younger girl a hug. "How's your princess kingdom?"

She contemplated the question for a minute, before looking up and beaming at her.

"Sparkly!"

Maya laughed. "Good answer."

"Hey, honey." Joy came up, drying her hands on a towel.

"Hi." She smiled up at her.

"Why don't you come on in?" The older woman gestured to the door. "We have dinner ready."

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were cooking dinner...I'll come back some other time."

"Don't be ridiculous." She shook her head. "We'd be happy to have you."

"Yeah!" Hope added. "We're having spaghetti, and princesses love that!"

The blonde complied, and they made their way to the dining room, where Kermit waited. He was sitting in front of some papers, his hand rubbing his forehead and a sigh escaping his lips. At the sound of them entering though, he looked up, and put a forced smile on his face.

"Hey, Maya."

"Hi," she said, surprised at the friendlier greeting.

"Staying for dinner?"

"I guess so." Maya glanced over at his family. "Is that okay?"

"Of course," he nodded, then made a mark on one of the papers.

She awkwardly sat down—at the opposite end of the table—and waited with Hope for dinner to be served. It could have been worse; the little girl was chatting up a storm, mostly about castles and dresses. Her mother finally appeared with a pot and set it down with a big smile on her round face.

"Ready to eat?"

"Yes!" Hope cried, immediately reaching for her plate, and handing it expectantly to her mother. "I've been waiting for a thousand years!"

"That's a very long time," Maya smirked.

"Yup! That's how long princesses sleep and wait for things in the stories."

"I thought it was a hundred years."

"Oh." She leaned back as her mother dished her up some spaghetti. "Well, I'm a special princess!"

"You sure are."

Joy smiled at Maya, and gestured for her to hand her the plate she had.

"You're getting really good with her."

"Thanks," the blonde chuckled. "It's definitely easier now."

Kermit discreetly watched his daughters and wife as they chatted and laughed among themselves. They really seemed to get along well, and he was glad his presence wasn't too much of a wet blanket. That was the last thing he wanted, especially for Maya, whom he was getting dangerously interested in. That wasn't to say he shouldn't be involved in her life; after all he was her father, but he didn't want to hurt her again. That was a mistake he could never take back, and he regretted it although not too much because he had met his wife and now had a wonderful daughter with her. That was why they had named her Hope; for Joy it was a pregnancy that hadn't ended in miscarriage, and for Kermit it was a chance to do better.

So, if he had any opportunity to make up for his loss with Maya, he would take it. Regretfully, he hadn't been very open to her the first time she had come over, but after a lot of thought and discussion, he had tried his best to be friendly. And it had worked...both him and Maya were on agreeable terms currently, even though she still kept her distance from him which was understandable. It was also why they had decided to involve her even more; to get closer and let her know they wanted to get to know her. It was a really risky idea though.

"So..." Joy glanced over at Kermit. "We have a proposition for you, Maya."

"What is it?" she asked curiously, handing Hope a much needed napkin.

"Well, we are going on vacation next month, around the first week in February," he spoke up, chewing his last mouthful of noodle. "And were wondering if you'd like to go with us."

"What?" She didn't even try to hide her shock.

"You definitely don't have to, sweetie...but we thought we'd include you, and we'd love to have you join us." Joy reassured, trying to be gentle.

"Where are you going?" was all she could get out.

"We're going all the way down to California." Joy answered, encouraged by the response. "We have some family down there, and well their beaches are way better than ours."

"That's really far," Maya said, a little surprised. "I don't think I could afford that even if I decided to go."

"Oh, don't worry about that, honey...we'd pay for your ticket."

"I couldn't let you do that." Maya was a little relieved that she had an excuse not to go.

"It would be no trouble," Kermit added, an unreadable expression on his face. "We'd really like you to come with us, and you're part of the family."

"M-hmm!" Hope chimed in her agreement. "We could go swimming, and build sand castles, and collect seashells—"

"We're not going to be spending our whole time on the beach," Joy laughed, and stroked her daughter's hair.

"Okay, well I still want to do that," her daughter shrugged happily, and slurped up a noodle.

"Look," Maya sighed. "You guys are really nice to think of me and all, but I don't really think it's the best idea."

"Sweetheart, we really do consider you part of this family, and it's no trouble."

"I'm not talking about the plane ticket," the small girl answered awkwardly, playing with her meal.

"I know." The husband and wife exchanged looks. "And we understand the hesitations, but I hope you'll at least consider it. Again, we don't want to force you, but it would be nice to spend some time with you."

"Okay," Maya said quietly.

"I want you to know that I've really enjoyed these last couple of weeks, and am glad you ran into Joy and Hope." Kermit leaned forward. "I know I can't erase the past, but I'm hoping we can make the future a little better...just don't be afraid to give it a chance."

Maya met the eyes of her father, and tried not to let her guard down. Was this actually sincere, or was he going to hurt her in the end? Yes, he was right; the time they had spent together had been nice, but she had learned long ago that motives weren't always pure and truthful...and she had already been damaged by him in the past, so she wasn't exactly eager to let history repeat itself. And how did he expect her to just go along with this without any hesitation? He had messed up so badly...and Maya didn't easily forgive and forget. It honestly scared her; the thought of opening herself up to him, and letting him into her life again. That was a very dangerous decision, and one she rarely made. Take Lucas for example; she had unwillingly let him in, and now she was conflicted and confused. She didn't need any more of that, so if she decided to go on this trip and get attached, she'd have to be extremely careful with how far she went. How much she let them see, and how deep she let her own emotions go. Maya would have to safeguard her heart and mind; and that seemed like an extra hassle she didn't need right now.

What she really could use was a talk, which was unusual for her, but she wouldn't let it happen so it didn't matter anyway. Whether or not she admitted it, Maya could use outside input and observations about herself. So, the real question wasn't if she'd let this family in, it was whether or not she'd open herself up. It was also about how sneaky her head was, because right now it had a completely different mind-set than her heart, and it could easily sway her physical decisions. And currently, her heart was winning...there was no way her father was going to hurt her again, and her thick defenses were being put up at that exact moment...but all of the decisions were balancing on a very thin wire, and any push from either side could sway her choices. So, overall? The question was which side was going to win first.