Let The Bet Commence
"Yes, Arthur?" Martin muttered, rubbing his eyes as the intercom chirped in a very Arthury way, Martin swore that the noise sounded different when Carolyn called him.
"It's that woman again skip! She's reading your book!" Arthur said excitedly over the phone. Martin cast an eye over the book he had abandoned mere moments ago to pick up the phone. He snorted self righteously.
"Arthur... I sincerely doubt that a passenger on an MJN flight would be reading War and Peace even one going on a trip to a place as cultured as Italy." Martin snapped, switching his headset of leaving Arthur sighing sadly behind him. Martin rubbed his face, pinching the skin between his brown and groaning. Douglas regarded him from the Captain's seat from the corner of his eye.
"Problem Martin?" he asked his voice sincere but his motives obviously not.
"Yes Douglas... I have had no sleep in the last 3 days because my neurotic sister left her even more neurotic daughter around my house, I quote so she could have a rest. She failed to mention the kid climbs into your bed at night and snuggles up against you, without warning... I spent 3 nights on the sofa watching re-runs of Top Gear and Mock The Week on Dave" he moaned, his face still in his hands."
"And now Arthur's harpering on about some girl he's met on the plane, who apparently is reading Tolstoy in the Cabin." He snapped. Douglas snorted, pressing a button on the side of the plane.
"Yes like that would happen... Hello Paris, Golf-Tango-India requesting the weather for arrival in Rome.. Over" he said into his headset. The two men sat in wait, fingers crossed as the waited for the radio operator to radio back.
"Golf-Tango-India this is Paris. Skies are clear in Rome, the sun is shining, I hope you packed your sun cream... Over" The reply came back from a woman with a heavy French accent, giggling at her poor joke. The two men punched the air joyfully.
"Golf-Tango-India to Paris. Thank you my dear you are clearly an angel of good news to bring us this in the light of our 4 days off. I only wish that you were here with us for the day of St. Valentines... Over." Douglas chatted, receiving a giggle from the other end.
"Paris to Golf-Tango-India. I would like that... it's raining most terribly here, it seems you English have sent us your weather. Over and out." She laughed signing off the signal. Douglas smiled to himself aware of the stare that Martin was giving him. He let it linger for a few moments before mock pretending to notice he was there.
"How do you do it Douglas?" Martin said mesmerised. The chirping of Arthur began again. Both men ignored it.
"How do I *chirp* do what *chirp* Martin?" Douglas said smoothly. Martin gestured to the radio.
"That! *chirp* The French woman, I could never *chirp* speak to a woman *chirp* like that and so *chirp* coolly. Will you shut up!" he said shouting at the phone that was making the offending noise. It practically stared at him for a moment before giving yet another resounding chirp. Martin groaned, causing Douglas to chuckle beside him.
"I'm not *chirp* answering it. No I mean *chirp* you have this *chirp* way with women *chirp* I could never *chirp* get them." He muttered, giving the phone a stony look daring it to make another noise.
"I don't know Martin. I've just always had a way with women since I was a young man... animal attraction and all that, me being the alpha male. It's all the same to women, they either go for one type of man or another, theirs me *chirp* the alpha male that women *chirp* simply fall over backwards for *chirp* some reason and then *chirp* there's the lovable idiot *chirp* that they can laugh at *chirp* and spend time with *chirp* as a friend before realising *chirp* they love them... one of them is currently chirping at us. You unfortunately do not fall into either category." He said simply.
Martin gaped a frown appearing on his brown.
"I- I could be *chirp* an alpha male!" he protested sticking his muscular chest out. Douglas regarded him.
"You have *chirp* the build certainly but *chirp* looks and personality *chirp* wise... no chance *chirp* I'm afraid. You're more *chirp* likely to fit into *chirp*that bumbling idiot type *chirp* that women *chirp* seem to avoid like *chirp* the plague. Shame mate" Douglas said clapping his colleague on the back. Martin stared at the colleague, riled at his shameless attack on him. Taking all his anger out on the headset, he flung it over his head and clicked the button upwards. A breath came through the phone, but Martin cut over it.
"WHAT NOW ARTHUR! LET ME QUESS THE WOMAN HAS DECIDED THAT SHE HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE CUTE IDIOT THAT WOMEN LIKE NOT THE BUMBLING IDIOT LIKE ME! OR HAS SHE DECIDED TO RECITE THE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE? OR IS SHE DOING A CAN-CAN DOWN THE AISLE OF THE PLANE TO CELEBRATE LEAVING PARIS BECAUSE SHORT OF THOSE EVENTS HAPPENING I REALLY COULDN'T CARE LESS!" he breathed heavily, listening to the shocked silence on the other end. The speaker crackled as the person cleared their throat.
"I thought it would be polite of me to solve this problem that you and Arthur have been having the last hour or so. I was planning on doing this over the phone but now I would quite like to sort this out in person." Said a definite female voice, slamming the phone down almost as harshly as he had picked it up.
Martin stayed with the phone in his hand for a moment, registering what had just happened.
"That went well then..." Douglas laughed. Martin turned on him his face stony, but with an evil gleam in his eye, seeing the matching headset that Douglas had placed over his head. He had heard the whole thing.
"I have a proposition... a bet." He tested. Douglas raised his eyebrows and turned to face Martin head on.
"You... want to... bet... with me?" he said confused. Martin nodded, a smile filtering across his face.
"I've just made that woman very angry... You reckon the alpha male can charm her when she comes in here in a minute?" he asked, tilting his head teasingly. Douglas scowled holding out his hand.
"Wait we haven't said terms... what do you want- oh no" Douglas interjected, shaking his head. "This is a matter of pride"
"So you reckon you can charm her? Even if she's as strange the ones Arthur normally gets infatuated with? You can get her number before I can? You're on..." They clasped hands as there was a loud knock on the tin door. Martin smirked, envisioning the girl. Douglas paled as he obviously did the same thing.
"Hang on its locked!" Martin shouted springing from his seat. He flung open the door facing Arthur and his companion head on. The smile melted from his face, appearing on Douglas's now smug one.