A/N - Hey everyone, sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had a few bouts of sickness in the interim - including one stop to the hospital for suspected appendicitis, that wasn't fun!

A huge thank-you to my Beta Irene (CileSuns92) - she is an amazing editor and sounding board. It is incredibly humbling to have one of your favourite authors loving your work and beta-ing for you. If you haven't read her works you really need to, 'Mare Nostrum,' being her most recent which is amazing.

Secondly, all credit goes to SR for the voice overs, they fit so perfectly for this chapter.

Anyway, onto the chapter, I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Five
Drawing Lines

"It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there's the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn't help to get too familiar to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It's all about lines... drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them."

It was the calm before the storm.

Addison sat down slowly and placed her palms on her knees…waiting, just waiting for an explanation. She looked up at Derek, willing him to explain everything so they would be ok. Because she believed they would be, they were Derek and Addison, after all.

"She was scared…she was in trouble," he began to explain while pacing. "And she needed help. If I hadn't arrived to that party when I did…god…" He could picture Gabe hovering over her again just like last night. He felt himself shudder and the anger from last night began to seethe just barely under the surface.

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked, perplexed.

"That's why she called, she was drugged at a party she was at with Amy," he finished explaining.

Recognition began to take fold in Addison's mind while she processed what Derek had told her.

"Is she ok?" She asked, in mild concern.

He sighed. "She's recovering." He breathed out as if reminding himself again that she is ok and safe.

Addison watched Derek's reaction closely and it left her feeling unsettled again. It was like she was trying to piece together a puzzle and the more she got the pieces to fit, the more she felt unsettled.

"I don't mean to sound callous here, but how is this your problem? She's Amelia's friend, so why wasn't she helping her?" Addison questioned.

Her question floored him and he frowned. "Because she called me…"

"But why you of all people?" She probed further, beginning to get frustrated once more.

"Are we seriously going to debate why who called who?" He snapped. "She was almost raped Addison!" He couldn't understand why she wasn't getting it and why she felt the need to question his motives. "Do you really expect me to get a call like that and just dismiss it?" His voice began to rise as he spoke in exasperation.

"Of course not. But still, she called you." She pointed out.

"Because we're friends!" He defended.

Addison stood up in frustration and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Derek just stood there watching her, as if unable to move. The silence spoke volumes. Addison sipped her water and gathered her thoughts. She mentally put a few more pieces into the puzzle and then it hit her. She tipped the water into the sink and turned back to Derek, her eyes glistening with tears and accusation.

"Are you sleeping with her?" she choked out.

"No, I am not sleeping with her," Derek denied honestly, but he didn't meet her eyes. He stared down at his feet then back up at her. She recognized that expression; it was the kind he always wore when he was guilty of something. Derek opened and closed his mouth a few times, before finally admitting: "But I did almost kiss her yesterday morning."

His admission hit her like a freight train. She was stunned for a moment. Then the denial stepped in.

"But you didn't," she offered, convincing herself it was merely a momentary lapse of judgment.

"No, but I wanted to." Derek admitted, his guilt palpable. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted her. "But that's besides the point," Derek dismissed, because it was true, the problem far exceeded his desire to kiss another woman.

"Really?" She scoffed at Derek's audacity.

"No, because I didn't kiss her. I am not unfaithful – you know this," he reasoned. It was true, Derek was faithful, but if Meredith hadn't pulled away when she did, he liked to think he wouldn't have kissed her.

"So you just want to hurt me?" Her pain laced her features as she sat back down on the sofa. Derek stared at the woman he had shared a life with for almost four years and he knew this was it.

"No Addie. I don't want to hurt you – But I think I will hurt you either way," he admitted.

Addison lifted her head, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. The last few pieces of the puzzle remained, and she could see the picture of doom forming with each final piece.

"You're expecting a ring, commitment, and a lifetime together – but I can't give you any of them." Derek watched as every word he spoke registered on her face. "I have had doubts and not because I don't want the same things, I do. Truth is, I could marry you tomorrow. It would be so easy because everything about you and me is easy, safe, comfortable. But it would also be the cruelest thing I could ever do to you, because I'd be settling. I love you, Addie, I do. I just don't love you enough. You deserve more than to be settled for, you deserve more than this."

Her tears fell down her face in cascades the more he admitted the truth that had been bearing down on him for so long.

"Derek?" she asked, a last desperate and feeble attempt for him to take back everything he had said. It was like she was holding the last piece of the puzzle in her hands and she didn't want to complete the picture. She didn't want it to be over.

"It's over Addie, it has to be." With those final words, it was just that; over. Addison felt like Derek had snatched that last puzzle piece from her grasp and completed the picture of doom just to spite her.

It was over.

She loved him. She wanted to marry him. It was enough for her. She felt invalidated. Addison wasn't ready to accept the truth like Derek was.

Derek didn't know what else to say. It was awkward; he knew he couldn't stay because that would just add more salt to the wound. He picked up his jacket and began to walk to her door.

Addison gazed up at his retreating form and she felt the bitterness rise up from her stomach.

"If you're going to invalidate the last four years of my life, be honest about one thing," she spat out. Derek came to an abrupt halt and turned back around.

"You say that as if I wasn't just honest with you," he murmured.

She ignored his statement.

"Was obligation the only reason you didn't kiss her?" Her voice was cold and detached. This is what she did, when things got tough, she became cold; she learned that from her mother Bizzy.

"Yes," he admitted.

It didn't matter how he told her, the inevitability of hurting her would always be the outcome.

Addison stood up, wiped her tears, and squared her shoulders. She looked up, her eyes still swimming with tears but they were like steel as they sliced right through him.

"Just go Derek." She dismissed him, her voice wavering a little. Derek was rooted to the spot. "GO!" She screamed. The façade snapped as she slid down the couch to the floor, succumbing to her tears.

He didn't enjoy her pain, he didn't relish in destroying her, but what was the alternative? Dismiss all his doubts as cold feet and marry her now only to destroy her later when they both work out they aren't enough for each other?

"I'm so sorry," Derek whispered as he left through the front door.

It was the end of an era.

/ / /

Meredith and Amelia sat on either side of the toilet bowl in Derek's bathroom, their foreheads covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"Urgh, last night was such a good idea," Amelia groaned. Breakfast had not gone down well for the both of them and they had spent a good part of the last hour heaving into the toilet.

"No it's not us or the party…it's them and their stupid boy penises," Meredith moaned as she rested her head on the cool tiles of the wall behind her. She felt the nausea rise again. "Urgh, I am going to throw up again." She groaned kneeling over the toilet bowl. The nausea subsided as quickly as it came. "No, I'm good. False alarm," she declared as she sat back against the wall.

"No, the problem is tequila," Amelia deadpanned.

"Penises, Amelia. Penises," she countered as she sipped some cool water from the bottle they were sharing between them.

"I really have to go home, but I don't think I can move. Maybe I'll just sit here. In my filth. Until I die." Amelia groaned as she lent forward to put her head between her knees, willing the nausea to subside.

"Derek said you had to call your mother so she wouldn't worry, you don't still live with her, do you?" Meredith inquired as she sipped some more water.

"Yeah…I want to move out and get somewhere closer to campus, but I can't afford a place on my own," Amelia replied as she sat back up and rested against the cool tiles of the wall behind her.

"I have a spare room, it's yours if you want it," Meredith offered.

"Really?" Amelia's face brightened at the prospect.

"Yeah, it's fully furnished and I was planning on renting it anyway," Meredith shrugged. "Just don't expect me to cook for you, I burn things," she warned, pointing a finger at her playfully.

"Deal," Amelia agreed, amusement swimming in her eyes. "I'll cook for you instead," she offered.

"I am liking this roommate thing already," Meredith chuckled.

/ / /

Addison felt like her world was crumbling down in pieces around her. Every hope and dream she had envisioned for her life with Derek was gone, like she had blinked, and suddenly everything was different.

She could barely string a coherent sentence together when she had called Naomi, garbling out that she needed her to come over.

She couldn't fathom how somehow this is what had become of her life. Yesterday she was living in blissful ignorance, waiting for the man she loved to propose and then today everything had changed and she had found herself mourning for the last four years of her life.

Naomi would in all likelihood try to food-medicate her – that was her thing, putting a layer of food over her misery.

Addison wiped her tears and got up when she heard knocking on her front door.

"Addison, it's me," Naomi called out.

She made her way over to the door as if in a daze and opened it to reveal the concerned face of her best friend.

"Addie, what happened?" Naomi asked as she took in the distressed state of her friend. Addison's eyes were puffy and red as she let Naomi in and they walked into living room. Addison turned to Naomi and let out a strangled sob.

"Derek left me," she cried.

Naomi sighed and pulled her friend into her arms and let her cry it out. She had seen the warning signs, but she never thought it would actually happen. They were Derek and Addison.

/ / /

Meredith's mind was lingering between sleep and consciousness. Her thoughts flickered between last night, Derek, and their almost kiss. She wanted to kiss him, but she couldn't, because she wasn't that type of girl. Not to mention, she didn't see what Derek could possibly see in her when he had such a gorgeous girlfriend like Addison. Her thoughts then switched back to last night. There were bits and pieces she was remembering. Nothing about how Derek found her, but her dancing with Gabe and then…then the phone call. She could feel the fear as she remembered calling Derek. She had been scared, and all she had wanted was Derek.

The sound of the front door opening jarred Meredith from her memories, but she didn't open her eyes. She heard footsteps walking toward the spot where she was lying on Derek's couch.

She knew it was Derek; it was like her whole body was attuned to him.

"Are you watching me sleep?" Meredith smirked, still not opening her eyes.

Derek brushed away Meredith's hair, which had fallen over her eyes. His action was gentle and his face wore an expression of marvel.

"Maybe," he murmured as he rested the paper bag on the coffee table next to him.

"What are you some kind of weirdo who watches women sleep?" she mocked him, opening her eyes and blinking the sleep away.

"Funny. I was waking you for lunch." He chuckled as he began to unpack two chicken salads and some water out of the paper bag, and set them out on the coffee table. Meredith sat up and quirked an eyebrow as she scrutinized Derek's choice of lunch.

"You mean waking me for the worst hangover cure in the history of hangover cures." She scrunched her nose, wishing it were some burgers and fries.

"You know what's even better, not drinking at all, so you don't get a hangover." Derek poked her in the ribs and Meredith giggled.

"Funny. You're a funny man," she bantered back at him.

"Eat your lunch and be grateful," he joked, scrunching up the brown paper bag and getting up to deposit it into the bin in the kitchen nearby.

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith saluted as she opened the plastic cover of the salad and began to dig in; she was admittedly hungry after throwing up most of her breakfast. "Ok, so admittedly this is really good…you know, as far as salads go," she amended.

"So you're admitting my hangover cure is the best." He grinned as he sat down on the couch beside her and began to eat his own salad.

"No, I am merely just stating that the salad is really good…I admit nothing!" she denied nonchalantly.

"Whatever you say, nurse," Derek mocked. Meredith elbowed Derek in the ribs.

"Have you not learned anything from Sloan?" she teased. Derek smirked and put his hands up in defeat.

"Apologies, Nurse Grey," he murmured, popping a tomato in his mouth.

"Don't let it happen again, Dr. Shepherd," she playfully warned as she continued to eat her salad. They fell into a comfortable silence as they both continued to eat. "You're kind of a health nut, aren't you," Meredith stated, breaking the silence.

"What?" Derek murmured, puzzled at her random question.

"You buy me salad as a hangover cure, you always eat something healthy at the hospital and I'd dare to wager that the muesli you have in the cupboard isn't Mark's because he doesn't look like the kind of guy who enjoys to eat twigs and leaves," Meredith shrugged.

She scrunched up her nose. Now I sound like some kind of a stalker. She groaned inwardly. There were times when Meredith wished she remembered to use a filter instead of saying whatever popped into her head.

"Nothing wrong with being healthy…sides better than the crap you eat," Derek accused. Meredith raised an eyebrow at him in amusement. "Oh yeah, I see what you pack away," he teased. "If you aren't careful you'll have a coronary before you are thirty."

"Please, I'm eighteen, I'm like a fetus… you on the other hand…"

"Are you calling me old?" Derek scoffed in amusement.

"Hey, if the shoe fits." She grinned as she wiped her hands on a napkin.

"Just so you know, I am a little offended…but it's a moot point anyway," Derek replied as he stood up and began to gather their empty salad bowls.

"Moot?" she questioned, playful amusement dancing in her eyes.

"Oh yes," Derek murmured, beginning to walk to the kitchen, but turned and wore a devilish smirk. "Health nut, remember." He pointed to himself playfully before turning back to the kitchen and disposing of their food. Meredith laughed. Derek returned and sat back down beside her.

"Are you feeling better?" Derek asked, his voice serious once again.

"Yeah, much," Meredith murmured as she glanced down at her watch. "Crap, I have to get home, I have to work tomorrow and I have to study for a quiz." Meredith rambled, beginning to panic. She had forgotten all about it, time had ceased to matter since she woke up with Derek this morning.

"Relax, I'll take you home now." Derek grinned at her minor meltdown.

He stood up and grabbed his coat while Meredith busied herself gathering her things. She was supposed to change out of Derek's clothes but she felt so comfortable, and as pathetic as she knew she sounded to herself, she liked feeling this close to him. His clothes smelled like laundry detergent, aftershave and most importantly, they smelled like Derek. She walked back out to the living room and they both walked out of the apartment to Derek's car.

They were comfortably silent once more, the silence only broken as Meredith murmured directions to her apartment. Derek pulled up in front of her apartment complex and exited. Meredith hadn't expected that, but Derek was ever the gentleman he was raised to be and walked her up to her apartment. Meredith moved to open her apartment door, but Derek placed his hand over Meredith's to stop her. She turned around to face him with a frown marring her features.

"About last night-" Derek began to ask.

"Can we not talk about it and pretend it didn't happen?" she sighed, looking down at her feet.

"Like we are going to pretend we didn't almost kiss yesterday morning?" Derek tilted Meredith's chin up so he could see her eyes.

"What kiss? There was no kiss because there could never be a kiss. You have a girlfriend!" Meredith warned him.

"Yesterday I had a girlfriend. Today, however, I don't," Derek murmured, stepping toward Meredith, his hand moving up to cup Meredith's cheek. Meredith stepped back until her back was flush up against her apartment door.

"You broke up with Addison?" she questioned, sounding a little breathless. Derek stroked her cheek.

"Yes," he confirmed. "It's been a long time coming, I should have done it awhile ago so that yesterday, when I wanted to kiss you, I could have kissed you like this-" He captured her stunned lips. She stood frozen for a moment and then she kissed him back. She felt the world stop. All too soon he pulled away. "There would have be no stopping, no guilt for wanting another woman. I just would have kissed you like that."

Meredith was still stunned as she stared into his blue eyes. He wanted her. She didn't understand, why he, of all people, could possibly want her. She felt like she had swallowed an ice cube as it dawned on her again. He just broke up with Addison. Her subconscious warned her.

"Derek, we…you can't possibly…you can't be saying-" she began to stutter.

"I wanted to kiss you like that yesterday, that's all I am saying." He sensed her panic. She was like a deer in the woods and he didn't want to scare her off. He brushed a strand of hair behind her left ear and stepped away from her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He grinned, then he walked back down the hall. Meredith could hear her blood pumping in her ears as she stood there, stunned.

"See you!" Meredith called to his retreating form.

Just like that, she was falling for him. Hard.

/ / /

Meredith slammed her locker shut and stuffed her stethoscope into the pocket of her scrub pants. Her lips were still burning from Derek's kiss yesterday.

She wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath, trying to shake Derek out of her thoughts before heading for the door to start her day. She yanked the door open and collided with something hard. She stepped back to collect herself and as she glanced up she was met with the object of her thoughts. She rolled her eyes at him then side stepped him.

"You're here early," she commented, trying to sound bored. Derek strode after Meredith and fell in step beside her.

"I scrubbed in on a chordotomy early this morning and thought I might buy you breakfast," Derek answered, his voice chipper, too chipper for Meredith's liking.

"I've already eaten," she responded, dryly.

"What'd you have?" he pressed further.

"None of your business," she snapped, but not meaning to. She was just well aware that Addison worked in this very same hospital and she didn't want to have some kind of run in with the redhead.

"Are you a cereal person? Straight out of the box? Or all fruit and fiber-y?" He laughed. "Pancakes? Do you like pancakes?" he continued.

Meredith stopped and turned around to face him. "Fine, leftover grilled cheese. Curiosity satisfied?" she deadpanned.

"That's sad. It's pathetic. A good day starts with a good breakfast," Derek teased her. Meredith sighed and looked around to see Addison, her resident and a group of other interns working on charts at the nurses' station. Panicked, Meredith pushed Derek back around the corner out of their line of view, but not before Addison and her resident saw them.

"Look, I'm not being seen with you in this hospital," Meredith whispered in warning. Derek's jovial expression turned into a frown.

"Why? Because of Addison?"

"Yes, because of Addison!" she growled at him, frustrated at his lack of concern. "I don't need her going all cage-fighter on me!" she spat out.

"I don't think Addie would risk her nail job," Derek joked lightly.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You are impossible, you know that?" she scoffed.

Derek sighed and placed both his hands on either of her shoulders.

"Shepherd!" Addison's resident called from around the corner.

"Oh, look, you're being summoned," Meredith smirked and took her opportunity to escape. Derek sighed, staring after her retreating form.

"Shepherd, get over here!" Dr. Morrison yelled. Derek strode back around the corner to the nurses' station. "Alright, you guys are with me for the length of this shift, Manning is out sick today," she explained, before ushering her eight interns to follow her.

Addison gave Derek a sour look before turning around and following her resident. Sam raised an eyebrow at Derek and Mark smirked catching on to what might be wrong with Addison.

"Don't ask," he warned both of them as they caught up with Dr. Morrison and the rest of the interns. Morrison ushered them into a patient's room. Derek's breath caught as he watched Meredith changing the patient's IV.

"Henry Lamott, age forty-two, is scheduled with Dr. Wiley for a spinal implant…" Addison began to present the case as the patient grabbed the television remote and turned the volume up on the movie he was watching.

"Oh. Mmm. Yeah," sounded from the television followed by the sound of a group of girls giggling. Nobody had noticed the sounds yet as they listened raptly to Addison, who didn't skip a beat.

"…to control the pain of his herniated disc. He's allergic to all pain medication…" she continued.

"Ooh. Mmh."

Everyone finally heard the sounds and glanced around to find the source of the moaning. They all looked up at the television and their eyes widened in shock. Addison's jaw hung open as she realized what was playing on the screen.

"Is that…?" she squinted, a questioning look on her face.

"Porn." Mrs. Lamott answered with nonchalance. She continued knitting, seemingly unbothered by the explicit material her husband was watching. A frown crossed Dr. Morrison's face who hadn't caught on to what was going on just yet.

"Porn?" Morrison questioned as she followed the gazes of her interns. Her eyes widened as she saw three naked women decked only stethoscopes, playfully soaping each other up in a shower. "As in porn?!" She exclaimed loudly.

"Alright. What are we watching?" Mark smirked.

"Sloan! Go stand in the hall." Morrison pointed him out. Mark chuckled as he left the room. "Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Lamott, I'm sure you are really nice people and what you do in the privacy of your own…Look, we can't have porn in here. This is a hospital."

"It's for my pain. My doc says it releases endorphins in the brain and helps keep my pain at a manageable level," Henry explained as he continued to watch the nurses who were starting to go down on one another.

Meredith bit her lip trying not to laugh as she snapped a new set of gloves on and began to clean the top of Henry's hand so she could put a new cannula in. Derek and the rest of the interns were finding the situation as amusing as she was.

"Really?" Dr. Bennett asked, responding to Henry's explanation.

"Bennett! Hall!" Morrison kicked him out as well. Sam walked out a little strangely, trying to use his lab coat to hide his ever-present erection, embarrassed. He was happily married, but he was like any man susceptible to his own desires.

"What is this?" Dr. Natalie Hayes, one of Derek's fellow interns, asked.

Mrs Lamott dropped her knitting in her lap as she watched Meredith insert his new cannula. She listened to the sound of the television for a moment. "Nasty, Naughty Nurses…um…" She answered and glanced back at the television. "Four."

Meredith scrunched her nose up for a moment, feeling a little awkward. Meredith glanced up at the television along with Derek, Addison and Natalie.

"That does not look comfortable," Addison remarked as they watched one of the nurses manoeuvre her entire body into the shape of a 'C,' her back curved perfectly and her arms lying flat for balance. Her partner, adorned only in his stethoscope makes his way into the scene, he parts his legs a little and shuffles over her until his cock is aligned perfectly with her vagina. He positions her right leg in the shape of a backward 'L,' and to improve his own balance he wraps his hand around her left leg which remains extended. He slams into the nurse with one powerful thrust, pulling out until his tip teases her entrance and slams back in.

"Trust me, it's not." Meredith shuddered and cringed, before she connected Henry's IV. Derek, Addison and Natalie just stared at Meredith in shock, their mouths open. Meredith shrugged and left the patient's room. Morrison scowled at her interns.

"Get in the hall!" She ushered them out. "Morgansen and Bennett you are both in the pit. Hopkins and Gregory, clinic. Hayes, Plastics. Montgomery, Dr. Carlsmith has requested you in OB/GYN. Sloan, stick with the Lamotts; I don't want any funny business. Shepherd, help run the ER, any surgical patients feel free to scrub in if the attending requests you," and she left.

Addison lingered a moment longer, wanting to say something to Derek but thought better of it. She gave him a scowl and headed off to find her attending. Derek sighed; he knew the aftermath of their breakup wouldn't be easy. He began to head toward the elevator to go down to the ER. He spotted Meredith waiting in front of it. He smiled as he quietly walked up to her unsuspecting form.

"You've done that before?" Derek's incredulous voice broke through her thoughts and startled her. She put her hand on her heart to feel her racing heartbeat.

"What?" she answered, her back still toward him.

"Oh, you know what," Derek scoffed as he sauntered up right beside her.

"Oh, that!" she exclaimed, pretending to finally catch onto him. "What do you think, because I'm eighteen I'm some kind of holy virgin?" She deadpanned as the ding of the elevator chimed and the doors opened.

Derek grinned as they both stepped onto the elevator. Meredith hit the button for the ground floor and stepped to the back of the elevator. Derek stood in front of her with his back turned.

"I'm not going out with you," she warned him off.

"Did I ask if you would go out with me? Do you want to go out with me?" Derek teased.

"I am not dating you and I am definitely not kissing you again. You just broke up with your girlfriend," she rambled, grasping at straws.

"Exactly, I broke up with my girlfriend."

"You're my friend and I am your sisters friend and my friend is your sister!" she ranted. He loved it when she ranted.

"I'm your mother, I'm your daughter," he countered, mocking her.

"You're sexually harassing me!" she accused.

"I'm riding an elevator." He rolled his eyes.

"Look, I am drawing a line. The line is drawn. There is a big line," she said, her voice becoming breathless.

"So this line…" he drawled, turning around to face her. His eyes almost twinkled as he smirked at her. "Is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker?" he teased, dirty dancing in his eyes.

Meredith felt the final thread of control snap as she dropped her files onto the elevator floor and practically launched herself at Derek. Her lips met his as his back connected with the wall of the elevator. Fighting for dominance, Derek flipped them around so her back was to the wall. The kiss was passionate and frantic. Derek deepened the kiss as he pulled Meredith's head closer to his, while Meredith latched her arms around Derek's neck. She pushed him against the wall once more, never breaking the kiss.

Ding

The sound of the elevator announcing the arrival to the ground floor reverberated through the cab as the doors began to open. Meredith disentangled herself from Derek in a hurry and bent down to gather up her files before swiftly walking out of the elevator.

"So, we'll talk later?" Derek called after her, a sheepish grin on his face as he headed in the direction of the ER.

When Derek pushed the double doors open, he was met with a flurry of activity. Gurneys were being pushed by orderlies in all directions, nurses, residents and doctors hurrying around calling orders to one another.

"Hey, are you the doctor they sent down?"

Derek was jarred from his thoughts and met with the harried expression of a nurse.

"Uh…yeah," Derek stuttered, gathering his wits.

"We've got a rape victim, you'd better get in there." The nurse explained, pointing to the trauma room behind her before returning back into the room herself.

Derek swiftly followed her and took in the horrible sight before him. The woman was bruised all over her body and there were cuts on her face. He could feel his stomach churning as he took in every aspect of her battered body. He could never fathom how anyone could do this to another human being.

Derek shook himself out of his reverie and pulled his penlight out of his front lab coat pocket.

"Call CT and let them know I'm coming and get her on a portable monitor," Derek ordered as he checked the patient's pupils.

Derek's eyes zeroed in on a leopard pair of flat shoes sitting in a plastic sleeve, which obviously belonged to his patient. He had seen Meredith walk in today with those exact same shoes, and in that moment he felt himself realizing this woman could have easily been Meredith, just the night before. He had felt so helpless when he first received her terrified call, like he wouldn't recover if he'd been too late.

Derek snapped his stethoscope into his ears and listened to his patient's heartbeat, as a wave of realization washed upon him: he was in love with her.

It wasn't just strong feelings, it was love. He had fallen for her so hard and so fast it was almost surreal.

/ / /

Meredith stood in front of the nursery watching the babies inside. Some were pulling adorable faces, others grabbing their legs. Meredith found herself enveloped in calm; all her worries washed away every time she would come up here and watch them. To an outsider, one would assume that Meredith was maternal and wanted children, even though Meredith felt like the last person who would have any maternal feelings whatsoever, considering her upbringing. Ellis had been about as nurturing as a steak knife. It wasn't that Meredith vehemently didn't want children, nor was she opposed to them, it was more the fear that, should she ever have a child, she would screw them up. She was afraid that her mother's shortcomings as a parent would ultimately rub off on her and any child of hers would suffer for it.

"Hey," Lauren murmured, placing a hand on Meredith's shoulder and jarring her from her own thoughts. "Figured this would be the last place I would find you, considering Montgomery is on Carlsmith's service." Lauren leaned against the glass wall, raising an eyebrow. Meredith rolled her eyes.

"How has anyone figured that out?" she groaned.

"Are you kidding? Montgomery glaring at Shepherd every chance she gets, coupled with Shepherd's puppy-dog glances in your direction, it wasn't that hard. Hell, we all called it after your second day here. In fact, there's a rather large betting pool on how long it takes the two of you to get together," Lauren teased.

"You're betting on us?" Meredith snapped incredulously.

"Well yeah, how else do you think we keep ourselves entertained?" Lauren winked playfully. Meredith simply shook her head, mildly amused. It was no secret the nurses were always on the front line of the gossip field. If you wanted to know anything about anyone, ask a nurse. "Well, all bets aside, I need to transfer you to the Neuro ICU for the rest of the week. A few of the regular nurses are out sick with this flu that's going around."

"Ok, on my way," Meredith nodded, tossing her coffee into a bin beside her, then strode down the hall, opting to take the stairs.

She dashed up a couple of flights and made her way onto the floor towards the nurses' station. Meredith did a quick round of her patients before coming to her last one. Derek was sitting in a chair inside the patient's cubicle, keeping close vigil. She noticed immediately how tired he looked.

"Hey," Meredith whispered, as she opened the sliding door to the ICU room.

"Hey," he murmured back, a smile gracing his tired features.

"Have you been sitting here all this time?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah. You know, I have four sisters? Very girly, tons of kids. If I was in a coma they'd all be here. I'd want them here. Not having no one, I can't imagine that," Derek mused, shaking his head as he stood up from his chair and stretched his body.

"I can," Meredith murmured, almost inaudibly.

"What are you talking about? What about your mother? She'd be here ordering all the surgeons around. She'd fly these cowboys in from Prague to do these amazing medical procedures," Derek replied as they both walked out of the cubicle and shut the door.

"Yes, but the thing is, I'd be wondering if she was doing it to be Dr. Ellis Grey or because she actually cared," she remarked, looking down at her feet. Derek didn't miss the sadness that lingered at the edges of each word.

"She's your mother, there should be no question there," Derek said, trying to wrap his mind around what Meredith was implying.

"I know, but if you knew what I grew up with, you'd understand why I'd question it," she murmured. Derek simply nodded, his upbringing was clearly so different to hers it saddened him. "So, we're kissing but we're not dating?" He teased her in an effort to lighten the melancholy mood and change the course of their conversation.

"I knew this was going to come up," she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, I like the kissing. I am all for the kissing. More kissing I say!" Derek grinned.

"I have no idea what that was about," she denied, swiftly.

"Is it going to happen again? Let me know next time, I'll bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet." He winked at her playfully.

"Shut up, now," she admonished. Derek simply snickered.

"She has the same shoes as you," he stated, after a moment of silence.

A frown graced Meredith's features. "What?"

"Allison," he nodded to the woman laying in the ICU bed before them. "She was wearing the same leopard print shoes you wore this morning."

"Oh," Meredith responded, not sure what Derek was trying to say. "Should I be appropriately freaked out that you know what shoes I wear or the fact you notice women's shoes altogether?" Meredith mocked him.

"Okay, I don't notice women's shoes…just ignore me I'm just tired," Derek dismissed, almost embarrassed.

"You know, I was up in Paeds and there are all these babies. They're brand new; no one has neglected them or damaged them. How do we get from there to here? She's wearing my shoes and somebody beat the crap out of her," Meredith murmured, before being absorbed by her own thoughts about her mother, Derek, and even Allison.

"Meredith, are you ok?" Derek asked, a concerned frown across his features.

"Yeah," she answered, jerking out of her thoughts. "I just…I have to go," she sighed and began to walk away.

"Meredith!" Derek called to her retreating form. She turned to face him. "I get it, you want to wait to be respectful so I'm going to ask you out and you are going to say no, but then I'm just going to keep asking and I'll warn you, I can be very persistent. So persistent that one day you're going to cave and say yes. So why delay the inevitable? Have breakfast with me tomorrow." He grinned.

Meredith grinned back and shook her head at his ego. He was right however, Meredith knew she would one day say yes, since she would want to say yes every time she'd say no.

"Okay, yes," she agreed with a wide smile, before turning around and walking back to the nurses station.

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular."

A/N - Writing the break up speech was actually the hardest to write with this chapter, I literally obsessed over it at every possible turn. I remember scrapping it about ten times, and writing and re-writing lines. I just really wanted to portray that raw emotion and also be true to Derek's character. I hope I did it justice.

As you can see I infused some vintage GA, I picked my favourite scenes, just couldn't resist and you know we just got to have that elevator kiss scene!

A neat fact about this chapter - Dr. Vivienne Carlsmith is actually one of Addison's teachers, if you watched Private Practice you may remember this from 6.06 - Apron Strings, whereby Vivienne is admitted to St. Ambrose hospital as a patient. I want to try and craft their histories as accurately as possible, so infusing Vivienne into the story felt so right.

Anyway, sound on the comments - tell me your thoughts, your likes, dislikes and your predictions - I hope to reply to each of them.

Mel