PART THREE

Chapter 5

Pam was not often at a loss for words but as she took in the utter carnage before her, she really couldn't care less for the dead winos. They were bad for business and they stank to high heaven and certainly were eyesores. But the fact that they were torn asunder every which way and her maker was clearly in some kind of emotional hot mess, she had to do something before someone of actual worth was hurt. "Look, I know you're upset and you know you don't have to take this on on your own. I understand you feeling…..well, I don't even know just how you're feeling but I assume you and her had a fight."

He said nothing as he stared at the unwarranted carnage he had caused. Killing innocent, albeit vile and nasty smelling, looking people was not something he was wont to do. Normally. But he had to let loose of his frustration somehow and harming those who he cared about was not something he wanted to see happen. "is Ginger ok? He asked quietly, wiping his face of the blood soaking it. Never before had she seen him this bloody, animalistic. And it frightened even her. "I didn't intend-"

"I know…she's fine…but we had better clean this up before this is on the news. I've got the cleaners on speed dial and they will be here and done within the hour. Gotta love a vamp cleaning crew what doesn't ask any questions other than how much work the job will be." Pam replied, pulling her phone out and within ten minutes, the crew was there and she and her maker retreated back to the bar.

"She went home." Pam said as she saw he was clearly trying to look for the oft frightened Ginger. "I made her leave….for her own good."

Flopping down in a upholstered booth, he sighed. "I'll make it up to her." then a troubling through came over her. "She felt it. Everything back there, she knew something was wrong and-"

"I think you both need to slow things down, and I don't care you didn't ask my opinion. After everything that she's gone through the past few weeks and you yourself have gone through, to throw some wedding and then you told me about what her grandfather is offering…I can see how she may need her space. Time." she paused. "Patience has never been your best feature and though with your loved ones, its clear you try…but this time you failed."

"Spectacularly so….I left without letting her say anything and I saw her face….its burned into my brain….I think I've really done it this time and that she didn't see any of what happened back there-"

"She didn't but she knew something was off…..but I…..I saw everything." a voice chimed in and helping himself to a drink behind the bar stood Niall. Rounding the bar, he sat down on a stool and sighed. "I wanted to go to her first, to reassure her that this is what I want but I didn't think….nor did you, this hits close to home. You were aware, of course, how your rival turned friend Bill went out of this world once and for all?"

Pam frowned. "I heard he offed himself. He was always the sentimental type and wanted to be with his family or something like that….it's never really come up in conversations."

Niall frowned more deeply. "He asked her to finish him. As a kindness, out of mercy and yes, he did want to be with his family and yes, he has found them in the afterlife. Being what I am, I am privy to some of the greatest secrets in the universe and the afterlife, it does exist. The good one and the bad. " he was quick to point out. "She didn't want to do it but she knew he wanted to be with the loves ones he was so cruelly torn from when he was turned and forced into a live he never really wanted. The guilt he carried from the innocents he killed, from the terrible things he did to those he cared about in this lifetime-Sookie, you two….I could go on. But he was absolved enough to go onward to his final resting place and is at peace. But she has lived with what she did and I know there is a guilt there. Though she knows he would have ended his own existence anyway, she also knows that he wanted to go out with her being the last thing he saw, that he wanted her to do it for him as a kindness, not out of malice, anger, or whatever….." Niall sighed. Even three years later, his passing haunts her and I suppose that with me wanting to end things, its drawn a painful parallel for her."

The two vamps looked at one another, having not had the full picture of how their ally, their friend had met the true death. Knowing what he did now, it seemed to further stoke the frustrations within the Viking. Getting up, he went to face Niall. "I appreciate that she had had a rough past….I think I may have had it a little rough as well. " his voice was laced with a bitterness that Pam felt a pang of sadness for, knowing that he indeed had had a tough life. He was the consummate survivor though in every sense of the word and yet, with the waitress, it seemed he was losing, in a way. This struggle, was going to be unlike any that had come before him

Chapter 6

"Yes, you have had a tough life. And so has she and millions of other people. That is a common thing among not just humans but your kind as well. And you take lessons from those hardships and press on. Like you have. Like she has. And I know as upset as the both of you are right now, nothing has changed between you. That connection, its unlike any I have ever seen between two people before. You may think it a grim situation now, but I implore you, go back to her. Talk this out." Niall said. "I will go to her first though. Stay here and….clean yourself up a bit. I doubt seeing you in a bloodied state would help matters right now."

Managing something of a sheepish smirk, a weary Eric went to the back where a private shower and luxurious locker room like area been put in for purely his and his staff's use-the staff being family only….and ginger. But he was glad that Willa hadn't bee on tonight, he didn't want her drawn into this mess….not until things were resolved, between him and Sookie. Then he would explain things to her, though he suspected Pam would beat him to the punch and spill everything.

The black marble room was accessible only by a fingerprint scanner, he had wanted it that private, unsullied by drunken patrons of the bar. The room was as large as the office and was replete with a shower, tub and several sleep lockers with spare clothes for him and his own. After a ten minute interlude of peace and quiet, he was washed and had fresh clothes on. Niall, he saw, had gone and he was left to wait his turn, for his audience with his troubled barmaid. "That is a definite improvement, I am all for a good fight and all but when it comes to making a good impression, being coated in blood is not too endearing to ones special…whatever." Pam sneered jokingly. But seeing the concerned look on his face, she sighed. "Look, you know I have trouble being all….sentimental and soft…..but if there was anything I could do to make you feel better, you know I would do it without question." she paused. "You want to cancel tomorrow?"

He looked at her and she saw that determination there she knew and loved about him. "Of course not. I am going to get things put right…..no small feat, I don't think but when her grandfather returns here, I am off to see her myself. So keep things as you planned." that swagger, confidence was returning, albeit in a more subdued, slightly fragile way.

Pam smirked back. "That's better…I was hoping it wouldn't come down to my literally trying to slap sense into you because I know you are no quitter. I saw that side of you once before and I didn't like it at al. and don't ever want to see it again."

Chapter 7

Niall had made her a cup of cocoa and sat down next to her on the couch, Gunnar was still asleep and she had taken the temporary peace and quiet to do the dishes, to toss some laundry in the wash. He had been a somewhat bittersweet surprise to her when he had knocked on the door rather than simply pop in. and though she was glad to see him, knowing that which he wanted to do for her, for her family, it certainly left a bitter taste in her mouth, one she badly wanted to rid herself of. "I know what you are thinking, what you feel, that this is like when you…." he didn't want to mention the past and she knew full well who he referred to. "This is my choice, what I wish for you is happiness and my own. I understand your decision that you are making, to reject my sacrifice. What I cam here tonight was to try to get you to understand where he is coming from. No doubt, you felt that surge of anger, bitterness of a little while ago." she nodded, blinking back a few tears.

"It was bad, wasn't it? I felt it….but I don't know what happened."

Gently, her grandfather revealed the men killed in the alley, the violence unleashed. "I have no doubt that that was a long time coming, the pain he has endured, I can't imagine how he has manage to carry such burdens all these years and I know hoe sacred you are to him. How sacred his family is to him. And I believe you didn't mean to upset him by making him think perhaps you were merely a object to him. Replaceable."

"I said things out of worry and…..anger." she interjected. "I just feel…..he is this amazing, impressive, legendary….and then there is me. Just little waitress me." she paused. "Even with all the power I have now, I still think of myself as ordinary. Nothing special."

"And that humbleness is what is part of that charm he loves about you…he would care for you even without your power. He loves you for that fire inside you, for that spirit of yours….that you've done so much for him, it is something he felt he can never quite repay."

She softened further. "He really has repaid it…ten fold and I….I think I got really lucky. I really didn't mean to-"

"He wants to go through with this tomorrow night and though I respect your wishes, the gift I am going to give you is the one you don't want me to give. I care for you and yours that much…..please respect my wishes and allow me to do what I will tomorrow evening. I promise, you will neither feel sadness nor guilt when all is said and done." Niall kissed her forehead. Both noted that they weren't alone any longer, there was someone outside. "Looks like he wasn't patient enough to wait for me to return to give him the all clear to come…..I should be going and as much as you may doubt it now, I plan to see the both of you tomorrow evening. And deep in your heart, I believe you have all the intentions to follow through as well."

Before she could say anything, her grandfather went to the front door and opened the door, letting Eric into the house. With a nod exchanged between them, Niall vanished, leaving the two to try to undo the painful damage done to them both. "Look, I…I wasn't thinking about what I was saying…after everything I was…..I just….." she stammered as he watched her intently, no trace of any warmth on his face and she could even feel there was a chill there in their bond. A chill he quickly got warm again as he made two long strides to her and embraced her, she doing the same to him. "I am so…..so…..sooo…..I never should have thought, said that you would be tired or bored with me. After everything you've done for me." she was sobbing into his chest and muffled as her voice was, he understood her perfectly. "I definitely have some adequacy issues….." she tried to make light of the situation and finally looked up at him,

"I sometimes feel I don't deserve you…I've done terrible things…" he looked almost ashamed. ."No doubt you felt something earlier….."

"I know about the winos…..what you did to them…and I haven't been a saint either, I've done terrible things-"

"To the extend I have…." he laughed coldly. "I may love a good fight but I don't go out of my way to start one and tonight, I lost it. Trash or not, those people didn't deserve what I did to them just because I was having a bad night. And you still want-"

"I am partly to blame for that outburst. I know the heart you have and know you…..there's so much inside you that is good and we both have out burdens to carry. The darkness that we fight….which is why I want to go through with this tomorrow night. I want to help you heal like you've helped me to." she said as she touched his face gently, kissing his cheek so tenderly. There was no fear of him, that was long gone. "Someone has to keep you out of trouble other than Pam. I feel like she needs help in that department."

Laughing, he smirked at her. "I am in trouble deep with all these women in my life….you, Pam, Willa….and heaven help me, Ginger." his smile faded. "Your grandfather told me something tonight that made me think. Think about something I honestly haven't thought much about save for when we….well, when we were given the gift that allowed us to have the little one upstairs. I was never one for religious or believing in what you do."

"Yeah, you're not exactly a good catholic boy, are you? She teased.

"Not exactly….." he grinned, that look turning more thoughtful as he took her by the hand and led her to the couch. Sitting down, her hands in his he closed his eyes. "Back in the day we had beliefs in the Norse Gods and that we would, if we loved honorably, we would go to Valhalla when we met our demise. I thought that perhaps I was to be forsaken when I was on my pure, right before Godric turned me. I was always a good fighter but as far as other things went-" hr stopped for a moment. "I didn't know if there would be a place for me there with my ancestors. I never felt quite…worthy. Especially after my parents were killed that one night. Knowing how I didn't listen to my father, how I took things for granted, I didn't embrace my position as his heir…..it was many things that made be feel that I would be forsaken….damned….."

She had never heard him speak so frankly about anything dealing with faith before and she let him continue, not before offering him encouragement. "Go on."

"I was hesitant to believe in anything divine, even after the miracle that was Godric brought me back. I only ever believed in myself. I was and still can be, selfish. Stubborn. Violent. And now that I know what your father has said that there is an afterlife, I can't help but wonder which way I can, will go. I never thought I would have a hope, desire for anything after this life I lead but…this isn't the talk I planned to have but do you….do you think that there is anything for me when the time comes? Not that I plan on leaving anytime soon, not with the promise of you before me…" he gave her a saucy look up and down and she was moved by the honesty of his words.

"I think that you've proven your worth ten times over and should the day come when you….. " she didn't want to speak the words. "Expire…I think you will have seat with your long lost loved ones, with Godric…..I told you once I didn't think you were evil and I still feel that way. As much as I don't want to think about I, I do think when the time comes you will be at peace."

He gave her a grateful look. "I don't know how I got sidetracked to talk faith and the beyond with you but here we are…" he paused. "I feel…better having had this talk. And I hope you do too."

"How you forgive me over and over, I think that gives you extra credit for the afterlife. " she grinned. "Keep being nice to me and maybe you will be at the head of the table there."

"Define nice." he said as he saucily cupped her around the read and gave her butt a pinch. "So…we still on for tomorrow….." he asked with hesitation.

The smile on her face said all he needed to know.

TO BE CONTINUED