Professor Tolfdir was still talking about Jyrik Gauldurson, and as fastening as Saarthal's history was, Lili wished she was back at Saarthal studying the orb with the Arch-Mage and other professors. It wasn't as if she was a child. She and the other students had been sent back to the college with Tolfdir when the extraction team—led by Savos Aren himself—arrived. It'd been two whole days, two whole days, she'd been robbed of researching and learning about the giant orb's power. It was the first exciting thing to happen since she'd been sent off to this cold wasteland and she was being kept in the dark. But she wasn't the only one.
When they arrived at the college, her and the other students had been corralled into Tolfdir's classroom and questioned thoroughly about what they had seen. Lili had been exhausted after the events of that day and travelling back through the ever raging mountain storm, so an interrogation was the last thing she wanted. And, to make matters worse, she and the other adepts had been sworn to secrecy or risk expulsion. Not that she wanted to share their discovery with the lower classes or minor staff, but she did not enjoy pretending the entire expedition never occurred.
So she'd subjugated herself to listening to Tolfdir, because at least with him she was allowed to acknowledge the existence of the orb and, most importantly, get word on the Arch-Mage's discoveries. But it seemed like Tolfdir was just as in the dark as her.
"Jyrik Gauldurson was connected to our college!" Tolfdir exclaimed for the tenth time that morning, simultaneously reading and pacing. He was half-way through the newest book from the large, duty stack they'd raided from the Arcanaeum. Books of all colors, authors, and lengths laid scattered about the room, most of which were placed on the table before her, books she was supposed to be reading. She'd helped him search the libary, hoping to find something about the orb or Saarthal to give her a head start on her research. Urag, the college's resident historian and librarian, insisted that whatever they'd discovered in Saarthal wouldn't be found in his books. Unwilling to hold stock in an Orc's ability to rememeber, let alone read, every document housed in the college, Lili did not heed his word.
But just as Urag insisted, they had found nothing, and Tolfdir was too preoccupied reading about with Gauldurson to placate her frustration. Part of her believed he was stalling their research until the arch-mage dictated they could speak freely about the matter again.
"We know that." Rennis seethed from behind a stack of books on a table near hers. The Breton was more visibly upset about their situation. He was the one who suggested researching with Tolfdir in the first place, and every time Lili bowed out for sleep, food, or fresh air, the Breton had declined. She wasn't sure if he'd left the room since they'd gotten back from the Arcanaeum. Glaring disapprovingly at his unkempt state, she turned back to her notes and tried to tune the angry man out. If she hadn't already decided he was insane before, she'd have reason to believe he was now. Spending two whole days with Tolfdir would crack anyone.
"He was the eldest son of Arch-Mage Gauldur," Tolfdir continued, evidently not hearing the angry Breton, "I knew I'd heard the name before." As Toldir continued to rave about the Gauldur family's bloodlust that led them to become trapped in the Saarthal tombs, Lili scribbled more notes about the expedition and the college's concealment of the subject. She planned on revising them after she got more information, and then promptly sending them back home to her family in the Summerset Isles. She was here for diplomatic and knowledge sharing purposes after all; not being allowed to inform her family about her progress and work would breach the already strained alliance. But that didn't mean she needed to tell the college, and she'd already broken the "lips-sealed" rule once during her private meeting with Uncle Arcano.
"Jyrik—ha! I can't believe this!—was pursued to the ruins of Saarthal and finally after a long battle, killed by Arch-Mage Geirmund's battlemages. His body was then locked within the tombs with Writs of Sealing." Tolfdir continued with growing animation, attempting to drown out Rennis's groans, "The wards I sent you to look at were his bindings! We were unintentionally freeing him the entire time!"
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT SAARTHAL OR GAULDURS OR WRITS OF SEALINGS!" Rennis bellowed, causing Tolfdir to drop his heavy book and Lili to spill her inkwell.
"Dammit Rennis!" she cursed, spitting venom as she frantically tried to save her notes from the pooling black liquid. "Control yourself!" It was no use; the notes were destroyed.
Rennis slammed his thin hands on the table, eyes flashing between her and Tolfdir, white hair sticking up in all directions. "I need to know about the orb! Why won't you talk about the orb, professor!"
"Rennis!" Lili hissed, warning in her voice. Though she didn't agree with the subject being taboo, she was civil enough to follow orders. Or at least not yell about it at the top of her lungs. Tolfdir ignored the Breton's question, instead stooping down to pick up the fallen book. When he rose Lili swore she saw rage in his normally cheery eyes. Seeing he was getting nowhere with the old Nord, Rennis turned his attack onto Lili.
"Lili, you know what we saw," Rennis begged, almost hysterically, "You felt it's raw power too, I know you did. Just imagine what we could do with it if we were given the chance!"
"Rennis you need to go to bed." Lili ordered, pointing an ink stained hand at the door. "There's research, then their madness. And if you keep treating your research—yourself—like this, you're going to cross that border."
"Divines!" He fumed, running his hands through his greasy hair. "The only ones I can talk to are unwilling to help. Secrets, classes, qualifications. I'm so sick of these restraints!"
"Rennis!" Tolfdir barked, angry for the second time since Lili had known him. And once again that anger was directed toward their whitehaired companion
"Proffessor," he pleaded crawling onto the table, hands shaking as he reached them out in offering, "I have the ability, the strength, the nerve to be part of this research team. I'm seven and twenty, I have experience outside this school, and my own experiments—!"
"Are too dangerous." Tolfdir replied, finality in his voice. "The college cannot afford to have another student killed." Lili almost rolled her eyes at Tolfdir's hypocrisy. After all, he'd been the one to lead them all to Saarthal in the first place. But the nord had a point, and he was trying to follow school protocol.
"I'm not concerned about losing my life!" Rennis argued, throwing his hands up in frustration, like Tolfdir was the one being unreasonable. "You're robbing me of a great discovery, of finally pursuing something unknown!"
"You will have your time, adept." Tolfdir responded sympathetically. "Now please, I think it's best if the both of you stepped away from all this. You don't want to fall behind in your other courses." He looked pointedly at Lili, for she was one of his alteration students.
"Yes, professor." Lili answered somewhat bitterly, mad Rennis's outburst got her banished as well. But maybe backing away from the orb was best. For now. After all, there was nothing she could do about it but stew in madness like Rennis. She gathered her things quickly, not walk out with the hot-headed Breton. He hadn't even moved off the table as she headed out the door.
"Lili?"
Lili's fast pace came to a halt, surprised to hear her name, and turned to the source. Another high elf was down the hall a ways, lingering by the still swinging door to the alteration room.
"Yes, Nirya?" Lili asked, unable to hide her impatience.
Out of character, the slender elf timidly jogged up to Lili, her brow creased with worry. Just as she opened her mouth, Lili cut her off.
"Look, I'm tired and heading back to my room. If it's important you're going to have to follow me there."
Nirya dropped her head, somewhat embarrassed and let out a sigh, which quickly materialized into a cloud in the frigid, airy halls. "Alright." She conceded, eyes downcast. Lili didn't wait to resume, and Nirya nearly had to jump to catch up to her pace. "I'm worried about Rennis."
"Hmm?"
"He was in the room with you, yes?"
"Yes." Lili affirmed heatedly. "He's been there the past two days."
"Yes, I know…" Nirya muttered, clutching her books to her chest.
"Then why are you asking me about it?" Lili demanded, but upon Nirya's crestfallen look, amended, "I'm sorry. That was cruel of me. I'm just upset with him at the moment."
"He's done this before." Nirya continued, reinvigorated by her friend's apology. "He becomes so obsessed with research that he stops eating, sleeping, socializing! I'm worried about him."
"Well, he did just say he cared more about you-know-what than his life."
"Divines!" Nirya cried in horror, dropping her tomes. They hissed with power as they clattered to the frosty cobbles below. Embarrassed, the tall girl hastily bent to pick them up, and after a moment Lili sighed and stooped down to help. She was surprised to find the book she picked up was a higher level restoration spell book.
"Circle of Protection?" Lili asked, pulling the book away from Nirya's grasping hand. "That an expert level restoration spell. What are you doing with it?"
"It's not against the rules to learn other magick!" Nirya snapped, snatching the now open book from Lili's hands.
"That's a dense read." Lili stated, standing up and brushing away loose ice particles from her dark Thalmor robes. The cold, clingy stuff was everywhere. "Not exactly extra spell learning."
"Well, maybe you're not the only one interested in mastering two schools!" Nirya huffed, tucking the in question tome under her arm. "And maybe you're just jealous because you don't know any good restoration spells."
"A good mage shouldn't have to heal their self, and it's suicidal to waste magicka on healing. You'll run out and be left defenseless."
"That's a dumb strategy!" Nirya retorted, feeling condescended. "Everyone needs to heal."
"Well, yes, of course." Lili argued, resuming her walk. "But that's why we craft potions. Healing spells should be our last resort—,"
"I'm not learning them to save myself!"
Lili stopped, brows rising in surprise. She'd made Nirya quite upset with her playful debating, and now the girl was revealing more than Lili cared to know. Gritting her teeth, she tried to listen empathetically to Nirya's drama.
"I'm doing it to protect him." Nirya sniffed angrily. "You saw firsthand how he acted in those forsaken ruins. He might not give a damn about his own life, but I do. I used to be so ambitious and competitive, but now all can think about, all I care about, is keepimg him safe."
"Well, it won't take a spell to get him cleaned up and fed." Lili sighed, trying to give friendly advice. But then again, she thought, maybe it would. "From the looks of it I believe he's still arguing with Tolfdir." She nodded down the hall, indicating Nirya to leave and go do something about her problems for once rather than just gossiping and complaining. She groaned inwardly at her thoughts, catching herself being vile once again. Did she really want to drive her only friend away? Suddenly Onmund popped into her head, his short stocky stature, unkempt robes, constant sneer and 'you're-all-privileged-the-world-is-against-me' attitude—somewhere along the way had she begun to consider him a friend?
She shook the manifestation from her head with a huffy laugh. He wasn't her friend, but he wasn't her enemy either. Perhaps a rival? She smiled at that notion, an expression she rarely allowed to grace her features. Now that she thought of him, she realized she hadn't seen him around since they'd gotten back from Saarthal two days ago…
"Hey, Lili?"
"Yes?" Lili asked a little too loudly, snapping back to attention.
"You'll do that for me, won't you?" Nirya begged. "You'll keep an eye on him? Tell me if he starts acting weird?"
"Uh, yes. I will." Lili stammered, feeling abnormally confused. It wasn't until Nirya gave her a big smile and ran back towards Tolfdir's class to collect a certain Breton that she realized she volunteered to babysit Rennis.
XXX
Still perusing the useless books as she lied on her stiff bed, Lili was surprised to hear a knock on her door at such a late hour. Slowly and somewhat anxiously, she walked to the door, body stiff from her poor posture, and cracked it open a few inches. A very out of breath Nord proceeded to force his way in.
"Onmund." Lili hissed, attempting to block him from entering. "Stop it. What do you want?" She failed and the man stumbled in, throwing a pile of dirty books on top of the ones neatly arranged on her bed.
"Take a look at these." He replied, plopping into the uncomfortable chair the college had issued her. His robes were dirtier than ever and he smelled awful, a mixture of burnt hair and sweat.
"Me?" Lili reiterated, concealing her honest surprise. "You found something and came seeking my expertise? I don't believe it."
"I went to Tolfdir first, but he's gone." Onmund answered with a smirk. "Apparently the arch-mage needed him right away concerning you-know-what."
"That I can believe." She sat down, and picked up the books. "Fragment: On Artaeum, Night of Tears, The Last King of the Ayleids…these look incredibly old…and dirty. Where did you get these?"
"Doesn't matter." He huffed dismissively, finally catching his breath. She arched an eyebrow, refusing to crack near ruined books opened. "Okay, maybe J'zargo and Bre and I followed a lead Urag gave us about some stolen books to some crazy dungeon with a bunch of twisted summoners."
"Stolen? From Winterhold's library? Wait, are these about the orb?" she interrogated, suddenly furious. "Why didn't Urag tell me this when I asked him?"
"Uh, maybe because you're a Thalmor related to Arcano?" He raised his hands in self-defense as she shot him a death glare. "Hey, none of us like or trust the guy, sorry those feelings extend to his family as well."
Forcing herself to extinguish the boiling anger, she greedily opened the first book and began absorbing the information like the soil after a drought. "Psijics, the Elder Way…you spoke with them" she murmured jealousy, casting the first book aside and reaching for the second. "This Elder Way, ability to control nature, do you think that could be the orb's power? But the Pijics wouldn't let us simply take that…" Onmund shrugged but his countenance looked enthusiastic. Lili sniffed haughtily, then nearly gagged as whatever stench was clinging to Onmund re-assaulted her nose. "If Brelyna and J'zargo went with you, where are they?" she wheezed. "And, Divines, why do you smell like burnt hair?"
"Burnt fur, actually." Onmund laughed at his inside joke, giving himself a sniff. "Guess that answers where Bre and the cat-man are."
"Is he okay?" Lili asked, slightly concerned.
"Yeah," Onmund answered with an eye roll. "After we hit a dead end with Tolfdir, they went to the healing wing to clean up…and shave. I came to find you."
"Maybe you should've joined them," Lili jibed, wrinkling her nose as she as she began reading the next book.
"That can wait." Onmund replied. "This is more important."
Face tinted rose gold as a small blush escaped, she dove headfirst into The Night of Tears, skimming until a trigger word caught her eye. "Saarthal!" she exclaimed, eagerly devouring the promising passages on the page as she read aloud, "Nords found something when they built their city, buried deep in the ground…attempted to keep it buried, but elves learned and coveted it… assaulted Saarthal to secure the power for themselves…Ysgramor knew something of what the elves would find under Saarthal, and rallied together his people to keep the elves from gaining it. When Nords once again controlled Skyrim, this power was buried deep below the earth and sealed away."
She skimmed more, oblivious to Onmund's amused stares, but found nothing more of interest, just additional mysterious and riddles about a great power fought for between elves and Nords. There was no doubt this was the orb, and though the book shed light on its possibly dangerous power, it still didn't answer her questions. If only she could've stayed at the excavation site…
Casting the book aside and trying to ignore the fact there were currently a Nord and elf in this very room, she picked up the last one about the Ayleids, an ancient race of mer and ancestors of the High Elves. Worry gripped her heart as she skimmed the pages, fearful of what she might read. Humans always painted her kind as villains in history, but reading their words made her feel equally guilty as enraged. None of the races were innocent—they all wanted land and power. Just because High Elves were the strongest didn't mean they were evil, no matter how those they conquered tried to write it.
She scoffed, inaudibly muttering the line "…brutal slavemasters is based in fact…" but she pushed through, trusting Onmund she'd read something worthwhile and this wasn't a trap. Finishing the last line, she stared down at the page beginning to feel the anger creep up her neck. Besides learning about the rise and fall of the Ayleids from a miffed Imperial's perspective, Lili found nothing related to orbs or Saarthal.
"Why'd you bring this one to me?" she demanded coldly, waving the book at the not-so-patiently Nord seated across from her.
"That's why I brought them to you." Onmund stressed, like she had somehow missed the point. But as she aimed to throw the book at his head he quickly explained with a ready ward, "You're a high elf, okay! An Ayleid decedent if I read that correctly. I hoped you could spot something the we missed."
"Oh." Lili breathed, anger evaporating as she regained her usually static emotional control. Part of her was touched he held such stock in her knowledge and still considered her an expert worth consulting, rivals as they were. However, these confusing emotions were quickly checked as she was forced to break the slightly embarrassing news.
"I'm sorry, but though I've learned much about the Ayleids, I currently do not know how they connect to Saarthal, pijics, or the orb. Perhaps their decedents were the elves who battled with Saarthal Nords over the 'mysterious power', which I'm sure was the orb?"
"Well there's no doubting that." Onmund agreed in disappointment, snatching the book from her hand. "I wish I was at that damn excavation site."
"I know."
He looked up at her, evidently taken aback, but then gave Lili a startling smile. "I didn't want to admit it, but we did pretty good back there."
"In Saarthal?" she asked, being one for elaboration. Her straightforwardness couldn't be helped. She settled into a more comfortable position on the bed, peeling her eyes from the books to look at her uninvited guest.
"Yeah," he smiled sheepishly. He sounded as if his answer surprised himself. When met with her criticizing stare he added, "I mean, when we weren't falling over ourselves or nearly burning each other alive." He stressed the burning part, still rattled by her sudden fire storm.
"I can understand how one might think that." She pondered, pulling her legs up and sitting on her knees. "Tolfdir seems to think so, though I don't openly trust his judgement."
"Well I do." Onmund growled loyally. "He's a good man, maybe a bit crazy, but you can't deny he's a genius and powerful mage."
"I never said he was not," Lili replied, pursing her rose gold lips. "I'm not used to professors like him, and I disagree with many of his teaching methods. Alteration is a difficult schhool, and though I commend his evident mastery of the subject, nothing he has done in the past three weeks of lessons has struck, inspired, or challenged me. I'm better off hauled up here with my books practicing on stones." Cutting off Onmund's looming argument, she summarized, "Have you been trapped in his classes for three weeks straight, in a freezing school and country you did not want to be sent to in the first place?"
"No." Onmund admitted, though still grumbling defensively about his idol. A minute of silence went by before he grudgingly broke it with another irregular statement. "You know, I almost asked you to join us on our book heist."
"That surprising." She replied honestly. "Why?"
"Normally people would ask 'why not'?" Onmund snorted. "But I guess you're not normal."
"We're mages, Onmund." She replied quietly. "None of us will ever be normal."
"Moving on from that depressing back story, I didn't ask you to join us because I know none of us get along and I wanted to discover something without your help, you know, one-up you?"
"This is supposed to make me feel what exactly?" Lili asked, not bothered in the least. She would've done the same to him. After all, she was still furious the Psijic's chose to communicate through him rather than her.
"What I'm saying is that though we have a bit of bad blood, I regret not including you." He admitted eyes breaking away in favor for the floor. "I'm not going to lie, those Caller-cultist-people that had our books were tough. Though it's funny now, J'zargo could've gotten killed, and Bre and I had a few close calls as well. She's a good fire mage, but Bre's never dealt well in high-stress situations."
"So you want to substitute Brelyna with me?" Lili asked. It was a wise move on Onmund's part, but Brelyna was his friend. Though Lili would've kicked the timid dark elf out in a heartbeat, Onmund doing the same just seemed cold.
"No!" Onmund shouted in shock, disgusted by the thought he would do that to a friend. "Bre's my friend, and a loyal one at that! I'm just saying maybe the three of us shouldn't be so exclusive anymore, at least where life and death concerns. And with all this orb craziness, I just want us to all be on the same team now. Even if we don't agree all the time, refusing your talent just because of my pride will get this research nowhere."
"So that's really why you came for my insight?" She asked, unsure what to feel besides apprehension. "Or are you trying to flatter me to exploit my skills? Including me in your ventures seems like a means to an end."
"Maybe a bit."
Someone else would've scoffed at such a response, but Lili smiled. There was a little bit of her in him after all. "Research comes first. And you three seem freer to move around this place than I, an advantage for me if we do collaborate. But," she raised an eyebrow, testing him, "aren't you afraid I'll betray what we learn to my Thalmor cult, as you put it, or to my uncle?"
"See, I thought about that," Onmund admitted, scratching his head looking amused, embarrassed, worried—Lili couldn't tell. "But I figured whatever we discover will be learned by Arcano eventually, so your involvement makes virtually no difference in my opinion. And personally, you seem more invested in the orb for research's sake. Can't say the same about your uncle. You know, he was actually spying on us when we got the book quest from Urag. He appeared out of nowhere, blocking the Arcanaeum's exit, and proceeded to interrogate us about Saarthal! I told him to stuff it, that I'd finally decided to be a good little Nord and follow the rules. Saarthal discovery is taboo." He mimed zipping his lips.
Lili did not break eye contact with the smug Nord, but she did feel incriminated. Arcano must have come to her after bullying Onmund and his friends, and she'd willingly told him everything. But that was to be expected, even Onmund said so. But she though it was more of a bend then a break, she still told a secret she had sworn to keep.
But Arcano was an advisor, a diplomat. The college was committing treason if he was kept in the dark.
But instead of shying away or explaining these things, Lili chose the practical move, and though she wasn't fond of the odd trio, they could help her learn more about the orb. She extended a pale hand. "We know where we both stand, and your proposal seems beneficial to all parties involved. I accept if you are still willing."
He smiled hesitantly, going all in for a gamble. "Then we have a truce, partner." He clasped hers hand roughly. They broke apart almost instantly, his falling away heavily and hers lifting out gracefully, fingers rubbing as if to rid herself of any excess dirt transferred by their brief contact.
"So, partner," Lili began impishly, "How about we use our now mutually beneficial situation and go ask Urag about these books."
Onmund's eagerness faltered and apprehension broke through. "But what if he just takes them? I know he told us about them, but we still swore to not pursue this. He won't want to risk getting in trouble."
"What are you more worried about?" Lili questioned. "Losing the books or not getting Urag's insight?"
"Losing the books." Onmund answered readily.
"Well," Lili announced with pride, lightly tapping her head, "That's what I'm here for. I remember everything I read. Consider my perusal of these books your insurance."