~BtS~
They always say a heart is not a home
Without the one who gets you through the storm
~BtS~
"What? What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" Jane exclaimed her question.
"It means I can't do it anymore, Jane." Was all I said, I was already feeling down, feeling very low – if felt as if everything I was doing lately was nothing but mistake after mistake, wrong and more wrong. It was just - … I needed to sort my shit together.
"What about your promise to me? You said you will divorce your wife so we can be together; what happened to that talk? Or was it only to get your dick wet?" she said in anger.
"I've already promised my wife to live the rest of my life with her," I said with pain covering my voice, regretting what I did with everything in me. I hoped that someday Bella would be able to forgive me. I wondered if I would ever tell her what I did.
"You're such a fucking coward, you didn't even tell her, did you? I had no idea you were such a pussy!" she screamed, and I was thankful that it was only the two of us in the building.
"Jane, please, watch your mouth!" no secretary should ever speak to her boss this way; then again, no boss should ever fuck his secretary the way I did, so … I guess she had a right.
Let's just say it didn't end very well. Jane couldn't stand the fact that I was breaking up with her and she actually broke a thing or two. But it was a small fee to pay for finally cleaning myself from it. It had been going on since what felt like too long, and it was time to stop.
Without a second thought, I asked my driver to take me to the nearest flowers shop. I brought a very nice bouquet of red roses, and when the seller asked what to write on the card, and I told him: 'I will carry you in my arms every night until death do us apart.'
The truth was, I think I fell in love with my wife all over again.
Whatever that had happened to make me think that I wasn't in love with her anymore had disappeared a little each night as I carried her to bed.
Her closeness sent calmness over my soul, a calmness I had been craving for so long. And it reminded me of what I was missing all of those months: just to feel her close to me.
Touching her reminded me of how much her touch was like magic to my mind, it relaxed me and made me let go of anything that was troubling me.
It was like – with her, everything was sweet and tender. Just like her.
The only thing I was afraid of was that she wouldn't forgive me for asking for a divorce, that she would actually want to go on with it now. But no – I wouldn't let the doubt ruin it for me. I knew Bella loved me, she would forgive me and we would put all of this behind us, I just knew it. And remembering that, I had to stop being a jerk. I had to stop the wrong, and I would ask for her to forgive me for every day in my life it that what it would take.
I looked at my watch to find that it was ten after seven, and I knew that Bella was still working, so I thought maybe I would go to her Firm and take her from there to the restaurant I proposed to her at. I'd already made the reservation this morning. I simply couldn't wait, and was glad that my mother called to tell me she wanted to take Seth from the daycare and to spend the weekend with him, Bella didn't wake up today to kiss him goodbye before he had to go, and I thought maybe she wanted an extra hour of sleep so I fed and dressed him myself, not to distrube her.
What I didn't expect was to find her not there, shocked when her secretary said: "But, Mr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen hasn't come to work for almost two weeks now."
I was shocked at the news, I had no idea that Bella wasn't going to work, and all of this time, for what?
But I didn't wonder for long, I just let my driver take me home, the bouquet of roses still in my hands as I entered the quiet house.
"Bella?"
~BtS~