Yeah I jumped a little ahead of time. It's near the end of the month. Not National's yet though.

33. The Stick You Pee On And Hope It's Negative.

I never told Ryder. And now that I kept it longer from him he would just be more irate than ever. Even more than him finding the cigarettes in my room in the past or when I got drunk or even when he found me high. I thought it would be best for the both of us and it would just be something I would take to the grave with me.

I haven't felt the best in a few weeks. I felt nauseous, sick to my stomach and lack of energry. I kept telling myself that it was withdrawl of the cigarettes and the weed but I don't think it would be this horrible or even annoying. I also craved ice cream more than ever and would eat a pint of ice cream if I had one in my hands and eat the whole thing within a half hour. Also my period had been lacking a lot more which was strange because I just got it back after not having it for months and month due to my weight.

I was in science class, alone this time, when I had the urge to vomit. I got excused and when I got into the closest open stall in the empty bathroom; I vomited.

After Glee practice Ryder offered me a ride to his house so we could watch a movie, but I declined saying I had to go home and help Minnie clean up the place after a small party-like get together she had with friends the night before. That wasn't a lie since I had to go and clean the toilets any from the party she had held last night, but asked if he could give me a ride to the store so I could get more cleaning supplies.

He did and waited in the car while I went inside and got some of the bleeche, toliet cleaning stuff, pringles, crackers, a lrage thing of fruit punch and the worse thing I could ever buy.

A pregnany test.

No, one wouldn't work...I had to be sure.

Minnie had given me a credit card for emergencies only. This was one.

I bought twenty of them in total.

After leaving the store and before walking to the back parking lot where Ryder was, I took all the test out and threw them into the back of my backpack and then went for the car.

Once we arrived and kissed goodbye I entered inside the empty house and took out all the test. I read the instructions for them while drinking the fruit punch and then got ready to pee on all of them.

Five minutes per stick. That was about a three and a half hour wait in total. Once I finished the last stick and set my alarm for three and a half hours, I slept.

I didn't sleep for long as I had nightmares of Ryder killing Lark and then killing me and saying how horrible of a person I was too him.

I woke up screaming into a dark and still empty house. My alarm went off at the same time.

I got up and walked to the counter where all the test were lined up.

"LARK!" I screamed opening the door to his apartment. I knew he was still here, no work for another hour. "LARK! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Marley?" he emerged from his bedroom. Once he saw it was me he got a ginormous grin on his face. "Marley!" He yelled in happiness as he ran over and gave me a bear hug. "Marley! I've missed you!"

"What the hell!? GET OFF ME!"

"Marley, what the fuck is with the mood swings? Never mind. I've been trying to call you forever! We have to talk about the party the other week—"

"No shit Sherlock!" I yelled. "We slept together!"

"No we didn't."

"How in the hell do you know!?"

"Well... I don't know exactly," He said. "But... I mean, I just don't think we slept together. Usually when I wake up after sleeping with a girl I still have the condom on and all I crave is for a cigarette. The morning after the party I had no comdon on and I didn't want a cigarette."

"Well maybe you threw it off and then just didnt' crave a cigarette!" I screamed.

"I don't think so..."

"WELL THEN HOW THE FUCK AM I PREGNANT IF THE LAST TIME RYDER AND I HAD SEX WAS A FEW MONTHS AGO!?" I grabbed his face in my hands and yelled at his face. "YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN THAT, MR. STEWART?"

His face went ghostly death pale when I said that. "Holy...no, not mine. It has to be Ryder's, right?"

"Wrong!" I yelled. "Ryder and I didn't have sex at all this month and the stupid pregnancy symptoms just STARTED A WEEK AGO! AND I WAS SUPPOSE TO GET MY PERIOD A WEEK AGO YOU DUMBASS!"

"Are you sure, like, this isn't just weed withdrawl or something with your bulimia or—"

"No! I TOOK TWENTY PREGNANCY TEST! TWENTY OF THEM!"

"That's a lot..."

"EIGHTEEN POSITIVES AND TWO NEGATIVES! HOW DOES THAT ADD UP!?"

"Oh, um...so you're pregnant." He said. "Oh shit...we're in shit now..."

"No crap!" I yelled. "I didn't even tell Ryder what happened between us and if he finds this out we're dead!"

"Maybe...they're wrong?"

"EIGHTEEN WERE POSITIVE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!" I yelled into his face again.

He took a deep breathe trying to take everything in. He look scared shitless no matter what. I let go of his face and sat on the couch, my back bending over my front and sobbing. How? How could of this happened? Why was I being punished? I'm usually a good girl... I've just had bad habits for the passed few weeks...months... why am I being punished? I couldn't be pregnant now. I was still craving cigarettes and I was still craving weed and I was pregnant with someone who I wasn't dating. It was the cousin.

I felt Lark sit next to me as the pressure of the couch increaded with more weight. His hand went on my back and rubbed it in large circles.

"It's okay, it's okay," Lark comforted me. "It's okay, we'll figure this out...we'll figure this out, okay? It'll be alright."

I ended up hugging him, in which he hugged back. His comforting made me feel better.

But I was still pregnant and haven't told Ryder anything about Lark and I.

I'm in deep shit.