We walked at a languid pace down the street, Len shielding his features with the cloak I lent him and me scanning all the faces flooded around me to make sure no one hostile toward the Snake and the Rabbit would approach us. The sun was not even at its precipice in the sky, but I could tell by the heaviness of Len's stride and sullenness of his words that he would have to go soon. Somewhere in the recesses of my soul, I was screaming for him not to go. Take me away to a place far from here! Be like the prince Gakupo always wanted for me! Instead, I asked a simple question, one that was staring at us all day.
"What are you planning to do now?" The small talk we had been making this whole walk had taken an abrupt turn. His steps faltered. "It seems you have gotten to know me a little better, but what now? What was the point of this?"
His face was hidden from me behind that filthy hood. It bothered me, not being able to see his smile or lack thereof. "I have to go back to my home pretty soon," he said quietly.
"Avoiding the question is useless."
He nodded. Gently taking my hand, he led me into another alley, taking a page from my book, and I put up no resistance. Hood down, I could see that the smile had indeed faded away. "Can I tell you the truth?"
"Preferably."
"I love you."
Another image: a boy with golden hair retreating down a dirt road in a land I had never seen before. His smile was so wide, but tear tracks ran down his face.
"I—" I began.
"I know it's stupid, so stupid. At first I would have done anything to change it, but I can't. I feel like we've known each other all our lives. I'm sorry I couldn't find you until now. This city is dying, Mayu. If this epidemic stays alive, barriers are bound to be broken. No one would care if I loved a duchess, a homeless girl, or a horse!"
My cheeks were wet, and I could hear the drops hitting the ground. "What if the epidemic gets one of us? If Luka isn't safe, how can someone like me be? All the people of the streets are dying or already dead. It's only a matter of time."
"We won't die."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I have to be."
"What if the epidemic stops tomorrow? The city recuperates and everything is back to normal?"
"We can run away."
"What if I don't love you?"
"Do you?" His voice was very quiet all of a sudden, scared.
That was a good question. Did I? No, I couldn't. It was too ridiculous, all of this was too ridiculous to be real. I wasn't Cinderella. I was just Mayu. Mayu Hidari, the Rabbit, the Wayward, the girl on the corner selling stale cakes, the girl with accents and a stubborn search for impossible knowledge, the girl with that emptiness in her heart for as long as she could remember, the girl waiting at the foot of the guillotine but whose fate lied elsewhere. This…This was not me. These words I was about to speak were not me. However, pretending to be someone else might not be such a bad idea.
"I think so," I whispered.
That was all that truly mattered and all that needed to be said. Yes, I loved Len, and if this damn epidemic was to spare us, maybe I would not be the Rabbit any longer.
I was born to two kind but unfortunate people. My actual birthplace was unknown to me, some alley somewhere, but what I did know was I did not have a home. Mother and Father always told me they would get me one someday, and I believed them. I still believed them, years later when I could call myself a woman. Toragay had been a city of death once before in my lifetime, that night Gakupo and I met, that night my parents died.
There I was, ten years old, education consisting of Mother's makeshift lessons, friends consisting of a rabbit that liked to scavenge in the alley we slept in. The sun was setting, and my parents were growing weary. They were practically sprinting through the streets, Father pulling painfully on my arm. Nights were dangerous back then. Never stay out in the open at night, especially if you have enemies. Enemies was something we did not lack.
"We're gonna make it," Father whispered to us. Mother nodded. I held in my tears.
"It's okay, honey." Mother had noticed my distress. Her face was so convincing. She was so beautiful, but I did not inherit her features, or Father's. It was like I was dropped down in this city by a magician's hand, rather than by any natural means. However foreign I looked to them, they loved me dearly. "It's okay. What's the word you learned today?"
"R-R-Remedy," I forced out.
"Good, dear. Do you know what it means yet?"
I shook my head.
"Okay, well, remedy is like—"
"Hidari!" a sharp voice echoed against the buildings around us. All three of us halted in front of the silhouetted man, sauntering out of a nearby shop. "How's it going, my friend?"
"Fine," Father answered shortly. "We have no business with you. Excuse us as we pass." He tried to look so tough in those rags of his.
"But, we have business with you, you see, my friend." Seven other shadows came out of that shop and stood all in a line before us. The only figure I could distinguish the features of was to the far left. His long purple hair seemed almost comical to me, but his face was so phlegmatic. "I'm not sure if you remember. It was a long time ago, but you stole from me, my friend. Now, why would you steal from me?"
"You stole from us first. My family would have starved if I didn't get that money back," Father replied. His grip on my hand grew tighter.
They stared at each other for a very long time. Before I could bring myself to even blink, the leader had launched himself forward toward Father. Three others followed suit. Mother had grabbed my arm and pulled me away. She was beginning to run away but then turning back to look at her husband over and over again. We were losing time. Why couldn't she make a decision?
Three of the remaining shadows began inching toward us with extended arms. They had no weapons but those giants could snap a ten-year-old girl's spine in less than a second. I never knew such fear.
One shadow remained where he stood, that purple-haired man. His features now illuminated by the growing moonlight seemed hesitant, almost afraid. A shadow walking toward us yelled back to him, "Gakupo, get your ass over here! I don't care if you don't want to fuck them, but you have to do your part." He did not budge.
"It's okay, Mayu. You're going to be okay," Mother was whispering to me. Something in her hand glinted. Thank God, a knife! She had a knife!
Meanwhile, Father was rolling around on the ground with his attackers. He was strong, but four against one is just pitiful. It wasn't long before the leader was on top of Father, slamming his fist into his face over and over and over again. Soon the struggling stopped, and that was how my father died.
"You're going to run, now," Mother told me. "Run to our alley, gather the things, and find a new home."
"Where will I meet you two?" I saw Father's demise, but I couldn't believe it. No, he wasn't dead. He was just knocked out, sleeping peacefully.
"I'll find you, honey. Now, go!"
I went. My thin legs threatened to buckle beneath me. It was no use. A shadow had tackled me down within seconds, breaking at least one of my fragile ribs. I kicked and screamed and bit him, calling for my mother without any response. Within our struggle, I caught a glimpse of the horror that was behind me. Mother's knife on the ground, a stagnant shadow on the ground, black liquid on the ground as it poured out of the shadow's throat. Now, my mother on the ground, a shadow with the knife over her. I couldn't look. That was how my mother died.
Screaming, Mothers? No, a man's. Many men's. The man holding me down looked over his shoulder in terror.
"Gakupo! Gakupo, what are you doing?!" he yelled, pushing himself off me and to his feet.
It took all my energy to lift my head off the dirt and see what was going on. Seven bodies, two were my parents', five were shadows, and in the middle of it all was that purple-haired man, a traitor, with a bloodied dagger shaking in his hand. My assailant was the last to run at him. Now there were eight.
With a distant look in his eyes, the purple-haired man staggered toward me. I tried to stand and escape, but the pain in my chest was too much to bear. Closing my eyes, I braced myself. Soon I would be with Mother and Father again. However, no finishing blow came. When I dared to look, that man—Gakupo, was that his name? —towered above me, hand outstretched to help me up. I felt like I had seen him somewhere before, but I couldn't recall where. Mother and Father were dead or were about to die. There really wasn't any other option.
I took his hand, and that was when we became the Snake and the Rabbit.
