Part One: Tigwit's Got Talent

Chapter 2

Feren wasn't about to give in to what he knew was a sly plot of Legolas' without a fight. That was why he slipped down into the dungeons as soon as the keeper of the keys was out of the way and handed Lindir his harp through the bars.

"Psst," he whispered, to muffle Lindir's exclamations of delight. "Play it all you want. And sorry about Thranduil. He can be like that sometimes. I'll get you out of here soon."

"Hurry up," said Lindir. "Legolas might do something."

"Er, I'll tell Tauriel to keep an eye on him," said Feren. "I, meanwhile, have to go to Rivendell and tell Elrond to give Thranduil's emeralds back."

Lindir's eyes widened. "He will never do that!"

"I'll make him," said Feren.

"Don't go!" stuttered Lindir. "Legolas might do something!"

"I must find a way to release you without risking Thranduil's wrath," said Feren. "I'll be back soon, jewels in hand!"

Lindir still looked dejected.

"You really are good on that harp," said Feren. "Practice lots while I'm away."

Lindir brightened, and Feren grinned. Legolas would suffer for his felony. Feren went off to find Haldir.

"Haldir!" he cried. "Get your horse. We ride to Rivendell."

"What?" asked Haldir. "But I want to drink with my best friend."

"I need your help to secure Lindir's release," said Feren.

"And why should I help you, Feren Eminemion?"

"A just question, friend," said Legolas, appearing out of nowhere.

"Sit down, Legolas," said Feren.

Legolas made a point of never doing what Feren said, no matter what it was, even if he wanted to do it. It was something which made his father very angry at times, for Feren was chief messenger and whenever he was sent out after Legolas to bring him back to Mirkwood, Legolas invariably said no.

"Give me but thine ear a moment, my lord Haldir," said Feren. No elf, especially not a Lothlorien elf, can withstand pretty speech.

"What?" asked Haldir.

"If you help me," said Feren. "I might be able to clear a spot for you in my show."

"Really?" asked Haldir. "Really? Promise?"

"I promise," said Feren. "Are you coming?"

"Yes!" cried Haldir.

"Get your horse," said Feren.

They met Gildor at the gates of Rivendell.

"Welcome to Rivendell, Haldir," he said. "And Feren. We thought from a distance you were Lindir."

"Alas, I am not," said Feren.

"What's alas about that?" asked Gildor. "Come on in, they're going to start singing soon."

"Great," said Haldir, rolling his eyes. He far more appreciated the Mirkwood form of entertainment – namely, drinking all night long – to that of Rivendell, where all they did was sing, but Feren was delighted. He got out his mini recorder with anticipation.

"Let the try-outs begin," he said.

Haldir's jaw dropped. "So this is the true reason you came to Rivendell," he said. "More auditions? Because I wasn't good enough."

"Cheer up," said Feren. "You can tell them all that you were the first person I booked."

Haldir cheered up considerably. This was true. He ran off to tell Glorfindel.

"Be sure to tell them that nobody else in Mirkwood made the cut," Feren called after him.

"Oh, I will," said Haldir, happily.

Feren went off to listen to the minstrels.

Six hours and twenty-three minutes later, as Glorfindel was finishing a long ballad, Feren sank into his chair and sighed. Once more he was disappointed. What had happened to true art in this world? Middle-Earth was going to ruin. All these elves were tolerable, but when it came to outstanding talent, all he saw was a desert as empty as the dark lands of Mordor. Where was he going to find anyone good enough to be in his show, if not in Rivendell? Well, he always had a back-up plan.

But now was the moment to speak to Lord Elrond, while he was happy and snoozy after six and a half hours of song. Feren sidled across the room to where Lord Elrond sat speaking with Elrohir.

"My lord Elrond," he said, with a little cough.

"Oh, Feren," said Elrond. "How are you? How are Thranduil Elvenking and Legolas Greenleaf? And where is my steward Lindir?"

"About that," said Feren. "My liege Thranduil Elvenking locked him up."

"What for?" asked Elrond, unsurprised. "Annoying Legolas?"

"Er, yes and no," said Feren. "The reasons are many but Thranduil feared he was after more jewels."

"More jewels?" asked Elrond. "Thranduil doesn't have any left. Or does he? Elrohir, call Galadriel and tell her we must have another casino night."

"Um," said Feren, "whether he does or not, he declares that my cousin, your steward, the fair and most dutiful Lindir, who has so faithfully served you these many long years, will not be released until you return the emeralds of Girion, which you stole – er, won – in the poker game at Lady Galadriel's last casino night."

"What?" asked Elrond. "I only followed half of that. Are you saying that Thranduil wants the emeralds of Girion back in exchange for Figwit?"

"Yes," said Feren. "Although you know he doesn't like being called that."

"Too bad," said Elrond. "I won those jewels fair and square. They're mine. Thranduil has no right to demand them back."

"But he does," said Feren. "He will not argue. And he will keep Lindir locked up until he holds them in his hand."

"Will he take mithril?" asked Elrond. "I've got lots of that."

"He will take only the emeralds," said Feren.

"But I want them," said Elrond. "Tell him no. He'll get tired of Lindir's harp playing soon and let him go. Now get out of my space. Galadriel's talking to me."

Feren backed off with a grimace.

"How do you stand that she-elf?" he asked Haldir, who was standing by.

"Say nothing against the Lady of Light," said Haldir.

"She's the one who rigs all these casino nights," said Feren. "Admit it, she made Elrond win so that he would take Arwen back."

"I'm not listening," whimpered Haldir.

"Whatever," said Feren. "Now, we must think. For I will have these emeralds yet." He began to rub his hands together as Elladan walked past, arguing with Glorfindel about a loan.

"You have been telling them all about my show," he said. "Haven't you?"

"Oh, yes," said Haldir. "That's probably what Gildor is coming to talk to you about now."

Feren looked over to see Gildor, Galdor, Erestor, Elrohir, and a host of other elves descending upon him en masse.