The first day without Gakupo was not a day at all. The garden was not a home without him in it, the roads were not the roads without him to walk on them, the buildings were not buildings without him to see them, the sky was not the sky without him under it, and I was not the Rabbit without the Snake by my side. The entire world had shifted with the loss of one life, and I wondered with all this death if the planet was upside down by now. At least that was something similar about my and Len's worlds.
"Hold onto your prince." How could I when I'd never caught sight of him since our day together?
I told Yuka what happened that day which was not a day. She hugged me and cried with me even though she had never met my friend, brother, father, everything in between. Maybe she felt like she did know him in some way. I thanked her.
My daily rounds had become sporadic over the course of the past weeks, but now I just dumped the schedule altogether. Nobody took pity on beggars anymore, and barely anyone stayed out on the streets long enough to take notice of a stale pastry girl. Besides, I felt so weak that I could feel the paleness on my skin. Then there was the matter of the body.
How Toragay had been dealing with the issue of the overwhelming number of corpses, which usually littered the streets or were left in people's homes for days, was with mass graves. Bodies layered on top of bodies layered on top of more bodies. Man, woman, child did not matter. Sometimes they burned them in gigantic fires, while other times they did not care. However, those with remaining family who were compassionate enough chose a more traditional alternative.
I staggered through the streets on that day which was not a day, thin arms cradling a heavy burden and barely keeping a firm hold. My cargo was covered mostly by my cloak, but Gakupo's pocket knife glinted in my right hand, just in case. I stumbled and tottered to a building at the edge of the city, one which I had never been to before. It was clean and new-looking, having gotten a great deal of revenue this past month.
Inside, I dragged myself to the desk at the far end of the room. A tall, horribly gaunt man stood at it with unempathetic eyes as I struggled, hardly looking up from the metal clasps he was polishing. A few days ago, I would have probably given him a sarcastic scolding for leaving a lady such as myself claw her way over. The mirth, now, was gone.
"What can I do for you?" the man asked, still not looking me in the eye.
"I need a coffin and a grave," I replied quietly.
"Really?" He threw his judgmental eyes up and down my appearance. "Those nowadays are quite expensive."
With a giant heave, I dropped what I was hiding onto the desk. A jar, filled nearly to the brim with coins. Our jar. He finally took interest.
"I'll see what I can do. Where is the body?"
The gravedigger left me as the sun was setting. The sky faded from the golden yellow of the sun to the deep purple of twilight, and it was like I could see my entire life so far in the expanse. The future, no matter how hard I looked, was an unforgiving black.
Gakupo's tombstone wasn't a tomb or a stone, but a mini wooden cross lopsided against the breeze. There was not name across the beams, so I knelt down beside the soft soil and began carving with his knife in my horrible handwriting.
The Snake
Perfect. Now, I backed up, stood, brushed the dirt off my skirt, and tried to come up with a few words that could somehow express how I was feeling.
"I'm sorry I spent all the money we saved," I said in my true voice, the one I could only use with him and maybe three other people in this whole forsaken world. "It was for a home. I realize that the garden is as much a home as I'd ever want, but you still needed one. So, there you go."
What else can I say?
"I still don't know what you were apologizing for, but you're forgiven, whatever it is. I think I can forgive everyone, now, even those guys who killed my parents and anyone else who wronged me beyond what my memory can reach. Thank you for teaching me that. I know you were angry and sad most of the time but just didn't show it. Thank you for that, too. U-Um, God, you know I've never been the sentimental type." Crying, again. "You were my best friend. The Snake and the Rabbit. You and me against the world. I'll do what you said. Keep living, hold onto my prince."
And before I turned away for good. "You are the bravest man I've ever known. You deserved more than this. You damn well did."
When I spun around to hide my red and puffy face from the ghost of him, I was face-to-face with Rin Kagamine, the last person I was expecting to see, and I nearly toppled over backwards. Quickly, I swiped away all the tears on my cheeks and prepared myself for whatever she could have wanted, but instead of malice and pride in her eyes, I found something akin to pity instead.
"Mayu…Hidari," she spoke as if she was struggling to remember my name. "How horrid to meet you again under such strenuous circumstances."
"Indeed, My Lady."
"Even I cannot bear to hear such frivolous titles. May I ask who you are visiting? Personally, I am here for an old servant of mine who passed only several days ago."
I stepped aside for her to read the grave, and evidently she remembered just who the Snake was. "I see. I am sorry for your loss."
"Thank you. I am sorry for yours." And I really was.
"I know about you and Len. I know that he met you the other day, and I know that you two seem to…fancy each other."
"Yes."
"The me of only two weeks ago would have shuddered at the thought, but death does something strange, doesn't it? It's like the days aren't days at all," she said. I just then noticed how haggard she looked, how tired and sickly.
"I know exactly what you mean."
"I must go now. Len and I are forbidden to go outside at all. Do keep a secret, and forgive me for my past actions. Goodbye, Mayu. I feel like in another life we would be friends."
"Thank you for saying so. Goodbye."
She disappeared in a whirl of yellow, and the sun finally took its rest. The day that wasn't a day was over, and my life would have to begin again.